So I've been looking for a fanfiction I read when I was a teenager for ages. First for myself and then for my foster sister. I could remember the name of the fic, but the site it used to be on is no longer alive. So I've been looking for back doors into it, to no avail.
So my brother is helping to clean out my parents home in order to make it safe for my mother when she finally gets home from hospital. And he finds a load of old binders. Many of which have fanfiction in them. So he sends me the names and lo and behold, one of them is that fanfic I have been looking for!!
So I get very excited and bounce around a lot, all the while my brother is trying to persuade me to let him burn it and I'm going NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! But that sets me thinking. If I had it printed, then I must have had it saved somewhere. And I have one single very old pen drive stick that I used to use to save private stuff on at work before we got given Home Drives. So I go rummaging. And I find it in a pencil case... because apparently, I am almost as much of a hoarder as my mother is. And even better, I find the bleeding fanfic on there that I have been searching high and bloody low for!!!
SUCCESS!!!
The fanfiction by the way is Harry Potter and the Year of Living Stupidity. It's a rather ridiculous parody fiction that has most of the Hogwarts Professors as incompetents, Harry as an attention seeking brat, Ron as an absolute moron and Hermione as a cat because the Hogwarts staff were too incompetent to change her back in second year. Sirius came back as a half-ghost because the afterlife was boring. Oh and Narcissa forces Lucius to get a job at Hogwarts as a janitor because Voldemort is eating them out of house and home. I'm not kidding, it's ridiculous.
"But near the beginning of the school year, Harry and Ron had messed around with some old curses they'd got from a book Harry had sneaked out of the restricted section in the library one night under the Invisibility Cloak. In Lupin's opinion, handing that cloak over to Harry had been akin to giving a psychopath a chainsaw, a machete, and a copy of Mutilation for Fun and Profit, but that was old Dumbledore for you. Anyway, something had (unsurprisingly) gone wrong while Harry and Ron were playing with these illegal, terrifically dangerous curses, and Hermione got caught in the crossfire. Whatever spell had struck her had both rekindled and intensified the effects of the Polyjuice Potion she'd taken incorrectly in her second year. In short, it seemed as if she was now a cat for life, particularly since the highly incompetent staff of Hogwart's either couldn't figure out what to do for her condition or couldn't be bothered."