Naamah D. Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Recently I haven't been feeling like myself. My mom and brother and I got into a huge argument last night and she still hasn't recovered from it. I've been paranoid and my voice hasn't gotten louder than it used to be and everything I love and know isn't a safe thing for me to do. The only thing I have left in life is fashion and clothing. That's the only hobby I feel safe in. I asked my mom to schedule an appointment with a doctor and have me put on an anti-depressant if I need to. I read up on anti-depressants and some people say that they cause weight gain. I'm already 5'2, 230 pounds, my measurements are 44"-45"-48" and I feel like if I gain weight, I'll lose fashion and clothing as well because I won't be beautiful anymore. I'll have to wear elastic waist pants and men's shirts. I'd love to say that fashion is for every woman to love and enjoy, but clothing stores for women most of the time only carry up to a 26 or sometimes a 30. My family can't stand me especially my brother. I'm falling apart and can't take this anymore. Maybe I don't deserve woman's clothes no matter what size I am. I actually did research and looked up women's stores that carry a size 26/28 and found really beautiful clothes. Please don't judge me on this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delshnya Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I don't know your case, but I would be very careful with anti-depressants, I'm personally against them, I think it is better to go to a therapist, a good one will only prescribe anti-depressants on extreme cases... I don't think your measurements should be an issue in your love for fashion. You deserve whatever you want, I personally don't like labels, like "this is for women", or "this is for men". If you like something just wear it, and if you don't like it, don't buy it, look for something you like. But even if you gain weight, you don't have to accept it, you can play sports, go on walks, etc, to keep the weight you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysundae Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Are you in a position where you could leave home? I read your profile so I'm guessing you're looking for a job at the moment? I just feel that from what you've said your home environment is somewhat toxic for you and that's a lot of the reason for why your self-esteem is so low, and that in itself leads to comfort eating, it's a downward spiral. If you had a way to get away from that, and be around people who weren't generally negative towards you, it would be a huge help for your mental health. There's nothing worse than living around people who don't have a good thing to say to you. Do you get out and about much? I'd recommend spending as much time away from your family as possible if you can, not only will it be great for you to spend time around people who don't automatically think badly of you and talk down to you and so on, but it will be better for your physical health rather than lurking inside and playing games. Delshnya and cordeliavane 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradsmaroo Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I am also not into anything drug or synthetic especially when it comes to mood alteration anti-depressants wreak havoc on your body in so many ways, screws up your digestive system and also can contribute to loss of serotonin receptors making it difficult to live life without the prescription. There can't be a quick fix to everything! From personal experience, the best thing I ever did for myself was get rid of any processed food. This helped me improve my mental and physical health. Just whole, real foods, learning to cook and spending more time outdoors was a significant boost. Not sure where you are from, but it is winter time in half the world...if the sun is out, take advantage! I'm super into the health & fitness realm and would be happy to pass on any specific reccomendations if you are interested...just PM or whatever. If not, hope all goes well for you, whichever path you choose. Stay positive and smile. Delshnya 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruto Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 As far as anti-depressants go, definitely discuss the pros and cons with a doctor and decide for yourself if it's something you want or think might help. You might also consider therapy in addition or as an alternative, and you can definitely discuss your hobbies and related problems there. Whatever you choose to do for yourself, I'll personally support you in it, and you can send me a PM if you ever feel like talking. And I'd like to ask everyone else, as a personal favor, not to give advice about prescription medicine if you're not the one doing the prescribing. As stated, you don't know her case, so giving your opinion about matters like this can unnecessarily complicate a decision. Kute, passiflora, Duskitty and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seiyah Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that you've been having so much trouble =( I can understand where you're coming from, having fought with anxiety/depression/weight most of my life. I recommend visiting a therapist/councilor first, as you might be able to resolve your problems through that avenue alone. If that doesn't work on it's own, then you might want to visit a psychiastrist - they will be able to tell whether or not you would benefit from medication. If you are prescribed some, then you should continue to attend therapy, as it is the therapy itself that will really help you cope and learn to deal with everything. Don't be afraid to seek treatment because of weight concerns, one of the things that therapy helped me with the most was my own self image. And no matter how much you weigh, there will always be beautiful clothes available to you! I hope everything works out for you, and know that however dark it may seem, or however long it takes you to get there, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I'm on a certain low dose anti-depressant to help with my appetite along with some general depression/anxiety stuff. I really dislike taking prescription meds but due to the situation I was/am in (I was in a very unique situation) that is what my doctors felt was best for me, and I put my faith in them. There's no shame in therapy either. From personal experience I have found that they are very sympathetic and understanding of whatever you are going through. You will be okay <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that you've been having so much trouble =( I can understand where you're coming from, having fought with anxiety/depression/weight most of my life. I recommend visiting a therapist/councilor first, as you might be able to resolve your problems through that avenue alone. If that doesn't work on it's own, then you might want to visit a psychiastrist - they will be able to tell whether or not you would benefit from medication. If you are prescribed some, then you should continue to attend therapy, as it is the therapy itself that will really help you cope and learn to deal with everything. Don't be afraid to seek treatment because of weight concerns, one of the things that therapy helped me with the most was my own self image. And no matter how much you weigh, there will always be beautiful clothes available to you! I hope everything works out for you, and know that however dark it may seem, or however long it takes you to get there, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm assuming that a size 26 would weigh 280-300 pounds. I deserve a chance to be girly and feminine. I've lost so much in life to the point where fashion and clothing are really the only thing I have to live for. I have Aspergers so I can't function without a label to describe who I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malskept Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 There have been studies that show that regular outdoor exercise can be as effective as medication for some people. The outdoor part is as important as the exercise part - something about the fresher air, and the different perspectives - more colors, or something. That said, there's nothing wrong with taking medications if they help you - and while they can be hard to stop, by the time they've worked, you'll be strong enough to deal with that bridge when it is time to cross it. Same with weight. Some people respond to the meds by gaining some weight, some lose, some stay the same. There's no way of being sure which category you're in until/unless you try them. And if you get one that works, the strength you gain helps you deal with that, too. I tried 7 meds before finding one that didn't make things worse - and after a few years (with therapy and supportive friends), I was able to come off the one that worked. If you do go the medicine route, don't be afraid to speak up if the first one (or the first 7) don't help. And don't be afraid to reach out for any help that is available to you. You're the only you that has ever been, and you're worth the effort. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 The thought of being a clothing size over a 20 (my current size) is scary. Fashion is the only thing I find comfort in. I asked my mom and she said that I could have BBW (big beautiful woman) fashion and while that is true I don't know what the medication would do and how much I'd gain in clothing size. If I go anywhere above a 26 I'm screwed. I don't know how many inches I'd gain and I don't know if my inches will even be on the size chart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neopets9738368 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Sorry for what you're going through. Medication can't change your life, who is in it, or the circumstances of situations. There is no magic pill. People on meds are still depressed, it doesn't flip the switch to happiness. Try to stay positive and focus on the good things. See a therapist, I feel it's better to have an outside party to vent to and rehab ways of thinking, or offer solutions you may not have thought of to life versus just a pill that doesn't really do anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 I don't know your case, but I would be very careful with anti-depressants, I'm personally against them, I think it is better to go to a therapist, a good one will only prescribe anti-depressants on extreme cases... I don't think your measurements should be an issue in your love for fashion. You deserve whatever you want, I personally don't like labels, like "this is for women", or "this is for men". If you like something just wear it, and if you don't like it, don't buy it, look for something you like. But even if you gain weight, you don't have to accept it, you can play sports, go on walks, etc, to keep the weight you want. I need a label or else I feel like I don't belong. I'm disabled and I need to be a goth, prep, girly, tomboy, gamer, nerd, fashionista or whatever other labels there are in this world because otherwise I'm just some fatty with Aspergers. The thing about measurements is that the apparent weight limit for a size 26 is 265 pounds. What if I go on an anti-depressant and gain over that limit? Then I won't be able to be a girly fashionista which is my current label. I'll be stuck in men's clothes and elastic waist pants because that is so trendy right now.... :eyeroll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranga_muffin Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 going on meds for depression doesn't mean you will definitely gain weight, it's just a possible side effect. But the thing is, even if you do decide to take medication, you can still decide to work on your fitness to try to help ensure that you won't gain weight. Regardless, exercise is a great tool for improving mental health.I don't think medication is the be all end all, but I don't think that therapy is always the best solution on its own either. They're both good when they're paired together. Medication isn't some magic pill, no, but it does help to restore your brain functioning to 'normal', and it can therefore make it easier for you to commit to therapy, and actually make changes in your way of thinking and responding to life stressors. it's not really helpful for us to share our staunch opinions when it's someone else's experience we're talking about, so i'd suggest having a read about depression, mental health, medication, holistic care etc., and working out what you think you might want, and then talking to your doctor and seeing what their trained opinion is, and working out a way forward from there. Good luck. Ruto 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rntracy1 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 As far as anti-depressants go, definitely discuss the pros and cons with a doctor and decide for yourself if it's something you want or think might help. You might also consider therapy in addition or as an alternative, and you can definitely discuss your hobbies and related problems there. Whatever you choose to do for yourself, I'll personally support you in it, and you can send me a PM if you ever feel like talking. And I'd like to ask everyone else, as a personal favor, not to give advice about prescription medicine if you're not the one doing the prescribing. As stated, you don't know her case, so giving your opinion about matters like this can unnecessarily complicate a decision. Ruto, As a Registered Nurse I can definitely understand your concerns about people giving advice concerning prescription medication. In this particular case however, she is not on any medication and is simply asking about something she heard regarding weight gain. In this regard, I do not feel it is inappropriate for others to give their opinions which include mild exercise, getting out and doing activities with friends, and seeking therapy. Now, if she said she was taking a specific anti-depressant, was still feeling this way and wanted to increase the dosage and soliciting the advice of members here on how much to increase her dosage, that would be highly inappropriate. same as if someone was on blood pressure medication, they said it was working fine at a particular dose, but then the blood pressure started to go up again, what should they do. If members told them to start increasing their dose, that would be inappropriate as well. The advice given here is not medical advice and therefore I do not see a problem with it at this point. I am also not trying argue with your moderating, I am just coming from a medical standpoint and whether I could be held liable for giving such advice to my patients. **people also have a right to their opinions regarding anti-depressants. I did hear a lot of personal opinion too. Delshnya and bradsmaroo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquamentis12 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Wow Naamah, sounds like things are getting hectic for you. :( DEFINITELY consult a doctor, and MAYBE get 2nd opinion. Depending on the diagnosis, there are a number of meds out there for various things. Many DO have weight gain as a side effect. However, some have less of a chance of that happening, or only top you out at a certain amount of gain. Of course this isn't a certainty. It depends on how your body reacts to side effects. Just because it's listed as a side effect, doesn't mean it will be really bad or not. The interaction between a med and your body is something that can only be known through using it and giving it a try. DEFINITELY bring up the weight gain as an issue when you talk to the doc. And he/she will try to figure out which med(s) might be best for you and cause you the least weight gain. You can also look at tweaking your diet and activity levels to help combat any weight gain you might be pre-disposed to with meds. Again, something you can ask the doctor about. I hope this helps. It looks like you've gotten some really good advice so far! While I believe meds are something to avoid if you DON'T need them, I believe that they should NOT be discounted just because they are refined in labs and such. There are some things natural means just aren't as effective against. The reverse is true too, of course. Synthetic stuff isn't always as good as Natural. So you have to use your own judgement. And make sure that any thoughts you have about either or, are expressed to your doctor. Best of luck Naamah! I hope you get whatever help you need to feel better! Being down is not fun, and hopefully whatever treatment is recommended is one that will allow you to have more than just keeping your fashion and clothes! Stay strong and take care! nightfall8705 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delshnya Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 As far as anti-depressants go, definitely discuss the pros and cons with a doctor and decide for yourself if it's something you want or think might help. You might also consider therapy in addition or as an alternative, and you can definitely discuss your hobbies and related problems there. Whatever you choose to do for yourself, I'll personally support you in it, and you can send me a PM if you ever feel like talking. And I'd like to ask everyone else, as a personal favor, not to give advice about prescription medicine if you're not the one doing the prescribing. As stated, you don't know her case, so giving your opinion about matters like this can unnecessarily complicate a decision. I haven't study medicine, and / or psychology, and I'm certainly not an expert on the matter, but I do like psychology, and I have read about different things regarding the matter, from books to articles written by people who did study psychiatry / psychology. I cannot give details like Bradsmaroo, chemistry related, about why. But I did say that I do not know her case, and that she should visit a therapist, someone who has studied the mind and can give accurate advice. I was just saying that there are a lot of people who are prescribed antidepressants and they don't need them (specially in the U.S.), in extreme cases are necessary, but because you have depression doesn't mean you need them and are good for you, they can be addictive and because of the false sense of happiness, you may think that you don't need help, also, I now real cases (not that I read about it, but people that I know) where people were prescribed something incorrect for depression and made them even worst. I'm not saying that she shouldn't take them (again, I don't know her case), I'm saying that drugs are a serious matter, not to take lightly and she should go to a therapist, and as someone here said, get a second opinion if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 I'm on medicine already so I don't if they'll even bother putting me on an antidepressant. Maybe this is for me and a therapist to work out. I take meds for my epilepsy so I'm not sure how another med would react with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delshnya Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I need a label or else I feel like I don't belong. I'm disabled and I need to be a goth, prep, girly, tomboy, gamer, nerd, fashionista or whatever other labels there are in this world because otherwise I'm just some fatty with Aspergers. The thing about measurements is that the apparent weight limit for a size 26 is 265 pounds. What if I go on an anti-depressant and gain over that limit? Then I won't be able to be a girly fashionista which is my current label. I'll be stuck in men's clothes and elastic waist pants because that is so trendy right now.... :eyeroll: Try not to worry for a problem that you yet not have, if you decide to take antidepressants and you see your gaining weight, then you try to deal with it. But you don't know how you body will react to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady_noel Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 here's a label for you, I'm a nice, good person. I'm a fashion queen. I'm alive and thats good enough for me. the weight doesnt matter. im the same size and height as you are but i have no interest in fashion i love my sweats. lol talk therapy is a good idea, but so is exercise and fresh air and sunshine. the world looks better on a sunny day. and as far as your family some times you have to cut them out like a cancer its hard but way better than the stress they bring you nightfall8705 and Delshnya 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightfall8705 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 There's a lot of good advice on this post, Naamah. A lot of advice that I myself agree with. I understand how you feel about the clothes and fashion. I have trouble finding clothes that fit me because not only have I been on a bunch of meds in my day, I don't necessarily have the best diet, and I also retain water, so I am a big gal, but over the years, I've learned that beautiful isn't a specific size. There's more to a person than their weight and appearance. I've also learned that a person cannot ever be ugly without first having an ugly attitude and an ugly heart. Sending you love, hun! <3 Delshnya 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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