Yay and nay, son leaving tomorrow for boot camp

[rntracy1]

I have been in denial for the past month and a half, but I can no longer deny it.  My son leaves tomorrow, Jan 15th, for Army boot camp.  While I am very proud of him, as a mom, I am extremely nervous and need all the support I can get.  I have quite a bit of RL support from my friends, family and co-workers, but I love you all here too and your support would mean a lot to me.  I may just need a "virtual" ear at 3 in the morning if I am having trouble sleeping.  lol.  I KNOW he will be fine, but hey, I am his mom and I worry.  He is going in for Electrical, as he graduated (with honors of course'proud momma') from vocational technical high school, from the Electrical program.  

I have some pics of us that I will post later on.  I appreciate everyone here and thank you all in advance for your support.

[Panthersclaw]

I'm not a mom, but I can understand your worry for your son. Having your child leave the nest and go off into the world can make anyone worry. BTW Congrats on him getting honors and graduating. He may be gone for a while during his training, but he will have a few breaks where he won't be training in the future that he can use to visit you. I wish your son good luck and safety as he goes off to boot camp and into the Army. 

[lakecat]

Rntracy1, congratulations to your son and best wishes for his national service. Prayers for his safety and success. I'm sure as time goes by you'll adjust better and get into a routine that will help you deal with the apprehension from his absence. I am not familiar with all of the military careers. Do you know what type of electrical work he will get? Does it deal with the wiring of buildings on army bases? If so that will be useful in the private sector later. 

[charelan]

Aw, Tracy, congrats to your son! I'm not a mom either, but I can sure understand your apprehension... I'm sure he will do great, though :) And like lakecat said, you'll probably quickly develop a routine, which will help.

[babayaga67]

@rntracy1 I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I don't think that I would be able to let them go. I know that it is important to protect our country, but it's also the mother's of the men and women serving our country who have to be so strong! I try to think about how I might feel, and I would be so proud of them on the one hand, but so terrified on the other. My mind just tries to shut down and go into denial, which is something that you said you have sort of been dealing with. I imagine that having a child go into law enforcement would also be hard. As a mom I know that you must feel so proud that your son wants to help other people so much that he is willing to put his life on the line, as scary as that thought is. He sounds like a really wonderful young man, and that means that you have done a good job raising him so congratulations to you.

[rntracy1]

22 hours ago, babayaga67 said:

@rntracy1 I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I don't think that I would be able to let them go. I know that it is important to protect our country, but it's also the mother's of the men and women serving our country who have to be so strong! I try to think about how I might feel, and I would be so proud of them on the one hand, but so terrified on the other. My mind just tries to shut down and go into denial, which is something that you said you have sort of been dealing with. I imagine that having a child go into law enforcement would also be hard. As a mom I know that you must feel so proud that your son wants to help other people so much that he is willing to put his life on the line, as scary as that thought is. He sounds like a really wonderful young man, and that means that you have done a good job raising him so congratulations to you.

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone for your wonderful thoughts and support.  It means so much to me.  Just to know that I have people here who are willing to listen and provide some comforting words when needed is very reassuring. 

@babayaga67 I was totally in denial up until the moment he left yesterday.  I know that because, when my husband would say things like, "I will call and take him off of the car insurance" or "I can take the cable box out of his room and put it in the spare bedroom" or whatever, I would redirect the conversation.  I didn't want to hear any of it.  I am now just trying to think of it as he is going off to college, but it isn't making it much easier.  I just miss him so much, and it has only been a half of a day!!. How am I going to do this? I am so glad I was home from work yesterday and got to be with him on his last day home.  We went to lunch and to the Italian bakery.  We got canolis.  Then I took him shopping for the odds and ends he needed, razors, etc.  We had a fun day.  I am so glad I was able to spend it with him.

"He sounds like a really wonderful young man, and that means that you have done a good job raising him so congratulations to you."

Thank you for the compliment!  He IS a great kid.  He has ALWAYS talked about going into the military, then he lost interest for a short while, then he became interested again and that was it.  I am VERY proud of him, just very worried.  He is my baby.  Now my house it empty and it is tough.  I have really never not had kids.  I had my first at 20.  (I know, not very young by today's standards, but I felt EXTREMELY young).  I had this one at 28.  My oldest is now 26 and out of the house, but he lives close and I see him all the time.  I will probably lean on him even more now.  They look sooooo much alike.  LOL.  I just don't know what it's like NOT to have children in my house as I have had them longer than I haven't.  (If that makes sense) LOL.

Anyway, after his 9-1/2 weeks of boot camp, I will get to go see him, for 3 days, at his graduation.  Then he has another 17 wk training and will be home for a couple of weeks in the summer.  So it isn't the end of the world.  I will see him shortly.  I will keep you all posted on how things are going and how he is doing.

[jellysundae]

Tracy *big hugs*

I don't suppose you coming to terms with this is going to happen any time soon, it's going to be a gradual adjustment, and I bet all kinds of little things that make you think of your son will be ready to ambush you at any given moment. Your hubby is most definitely doing the guy thing there, isn't he. Kind of, "look how much I'm not feeling emotional about this, I'm proving this to myself by taking him off the car insurance!". He's not kidding anyone, especially not himself, but it seems to be something that dads in general just have to do, leaving the mum to visibly feel all the emotions for both of you! How does your eldest feel about it then? It's got to be a different kind of feeling when it's a sibling.

It's good that he'll be home for a couple of weeks in the summer though, that's so much better than just 3 days, especially with things like ceremonies going on, it just doesn't give enough time to settle down and relax and spend some proper quality family time.

[Scoobert_Doo]

9 hours ago, rntracy1 said:

How am I going to do this? I am so glad I was home from work yesterday and got to be with him on his last day home.  We went to lunch and to the Italian bakery.  We got canolis.  Then I took him shopping for the odds and ends he needed, razors, etc.  We had a fun day.  I am so glad I was able to spend it with him.

Well, not great or even good advice, but you will "do this" one day at a time. I have a feeling a month from now, and whether he says in for 4 years, or 20, he will remember that day. I'm sure it was fun for him, too. It's a big step for you, but also a BIG one for him. It's always hard, no matter what, for the both of you. Not trying to make light of your feelings, but you have your husband, oldest son, co-workers, and friends, still around, close, that you can talk to. He is going to a new place, possibly miles away, by himself, and going on a new, challenging adventure. Hopefully, he will make new, good friends in basic training, and, when things get tough, think of home, family, and Mom. And, that could bring worry - as he is not "safe", at home, with you. I'm sure it's the "little things" that you'll both miss. Just another part of growing up, for the both of you. And it's the "little things" that will keep you going. A phone call, a letter, a card, or visits. Who knows? After tech school, he could possibly get stationed at a post nearby (if there is one in your State), or maybe a State away. I'm sure he will try to make it back for Thanksgiving or Christmas, if possible. If he is further away, maybe you could plan a vacation to visit, and he could take you out for a day. Seeing him at graduation will be nice. Make the most of it, and take him out to lunch, or dinner, if you can (Not that you weren't planning it, already). Just don't make fun of his haircut, unless he normally wears it really short.

[cassandrastorm]

I am a Mom of 3 wonderful girls, ages 31, 26 & 22. I do understand what it's like to have you child go far away and worry and miss them so much. None of them are in the Army, though and I know that is scary in and of itself. Try to remember, though that he is getting great training & experience. He can have a great career in the services, or have great advantages in finding a job when he comes out. While he is in boot camp, he probably can't communicate much with you. But when he is done with that part, I think he will be able to send you texts, snap chats, skype/face time. Having those technology tools & being able to see & hear my kids when far away made a HUGE difference to me. you seem strong - I know you will come through this even stronger - and so will he!

[rntracy1]

15 hours ago, cassandrastorm said:

I am a Mom of 3 wonderful girls, ages 31, 26 & 22. I do understand what it's like to have you child go far away and worry and miss them so much. None of them are in the Army, though and I know that is scary in and of itself. Try to remember, though that he is getting great training & experience. He can have a great career in the services, or have great advantages in finding a job when he comes out. While he is in boot camp, he probably can't communicate much with you. But when he is done with that part, I think he will be able to send you texts, snap chats, skype/face time. Having those technology tools & being able to see & hear my kids when far away made a HUGE difference to me. you seem strong - I know you will come through this even stronger - and so will he!

Yes, as a mom and as a mom who probably had her girls go off to college (that is what I am pretending right now-lol) I am sure you can relate to missing your child.  He will have a great career, either in or outside of the military as he is continuing his Electrical training.  He began that in voc/tech school, got the certifications/hours he needed to become an apprentice.  That is what he will do in the Army.  So, I KNOW he is getting the discipline, experience, training, and education he needs, it is still very difficult.  I am doing better each day.  Monday and Tuesday was crying all day.  Today has been better.  

19 hours ago, Scoobert_Doo said:

Well, not great or even good advice, but you will "do this" one day at a time. I have a feeling a month from now, and whether he says in for 4 years, or 20, he will remember that day. I'm sure it was fun for him, too. It's a big step for you, but also a BIG one for him. It's always hard, no matter what, for the both of you. Not trying to make light of your feelings, but you have your husband, oldest son, co-workers, and friends, still around, close, that you can talk to. He is going to a new place, possibly miles away, by himself, and going on a new, challenging adventure. Hopefully, he will make new, good friends in basic training, and, when things get tough, think of home, family, and Mom. And, that could bring worry - as he is not "safe", at home, with you. I'm sure it's the "little things" that you'll both miss. Just another part of growing up, for the both of you. And it's the "little things" that will keep you going. A phone call, a letter, a card, or visits. Who knows? After tech school, he could possibly get stationed at a post nearby (if there is one in your State), or maybe a State away. I'm sure he will try to make it back for Thanksgiving or Christmas, if possible. If he is further away, maybe you could plan a vacation to visit, and he could take you out for a day. Seeing him at graduation will be nice. Make the most of it, and take him out to lunch, or dinner, if you can (Not that you weren't planning it, already). Just don't make fun of his haircut, unless he normally wears it really short.

Thanks Scoobs, thanks for confirming all my fears!  lol.  Actually, he is VERY GOOD at making friends and dealing with new situations.  It is kind of a long story but I will try to shorten it a little bit.  Most of you all know that I am a school nurse.  I work in the public schools here where I live.  It is an inner city school system, the kids are pretty rough/tough.  When my son was in 1st grade he loved his school nurse, then she committed suicide.  He asked if I could come be his school nurse. I happened to be working for an agency who put nurses in the schools so I asked them and they found the position and put me in.  When the school was looking to fill it permanently, they hired me because I had been there for 3 months and knew the ropes.  Once I saw how it was in the public schools there and informed my husband, he did not want our son there anymore. Hence his second move to a new school. (He had been to one school for kindergarten then another for 1st grade). We pulled him out and put him in to Catholic School.  He was there for two years when that school closed.  We had to move him to another Catholic school.  He was there for 2 years when they decided they were going to combine ALL the catholic schools into one Academy.  So he moved to his 3rd Catholic School.  He was there until he went to middle school.  While at middle school our city suffered a horrific Tornado that destroyed the school.  Luckily the kids he JUST gone home for the day!!!!!  So he had to go back to the Elementary school building for the remainder of middle school.  So, he is no stranger to new experiences.  He can make friends so easily.  He is such a great kid.  I am not just saying that because I'm his mom (well, maybe a little- lol). If I wasn't his mom, I would want to be his friend.  My principal/boss, came to his high school graduation (she loves him). Everyone there was telling her, "Oh, you're here for Robert? He is such a nice kid."  

As far a communication, they get their phones every Sunday.  Their unit has a Facebook page of pictures and events that I can go to and get information.  Letters and pictures whenever he gets the urge to write.  lol.  He is not big on that type of thing, so we shall see. I will write to him though.  

If he were in the Air Force instead, it would be VERY possible for him to be stationed here at home as we have Westover Air force Base right here, 15 mins from the house.  

He does wear his hair short, so it won't be much different other than the fact that he probably won't have ANY hair the next time I see him. LOL. 

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 12:35 PM, jellysundae said:

Tracy *big hugs*

I don't suppose you coming to terms with this is going to happen any time soon, it's going to be a gradual adjustment, and I bet all kinds of little things that make you think of your son will be ready to ambush you at any given moment. Your hubby is most definitely doing the guy thing there, isn't he. Kind of, "look how much I'm not feeling emotional about this, I'm proving this to myself by taking him off the car insurance!". He's not kidding anyone, especially not himself, but it seems to be something that dads in general just have to do, leaving the mum to visibly feel all the emotions for both of you! How does your eldest feel about it then? It's got to be a different kind of feeling when it's a sibling.

It's good that he'll be home for a couple of weeks in the summer though, that's so much better than just 3 days, especially with things like ceremonies going on, it just doesn't give enough time to settle down and relax and spend some proper quality family time.

Yes, it will be gradual.  I guess the fact that I haven't been crying all day today is a good thing.  My husband is not fooling anyone, especially me.  He has been texting our son constantly since he left.  He said, "now I have to do all the yard work by myself."  But he used to complain about how the kid never did anything. (which was NOT true BTW).  I said to him, "Now you will realize just how much he DID do."  My older son misses him, but he doesn't live at home anymore so he is used to it.  

 

I wanted to update everyone, my son is having the time of his life. He enjoyed flying for his first time and eating Thai food.  I am here crying and worrying while he is having a great time.  I am so happy that he is having fun.  I am feeling much better about it.  That is the most important thing, that he is doing well and having a good time.  That is all that matters.

[jellysundae]

13 hours ago, rntracy1 said:

My husband is not fooling anyone, especially me.  He has been texting our son constantly since he left.  He said, "now I have to do all the yard work by myself." 

HA, yeah you don't need to plug that into a translator to come up with "I miss you," do you! Your son's gonna be good at picking up the true feelings behind the Dad-speak too, I'm sure.

It's awesome that he's enjoying himself, I mean this is an adventure! He's one of the lucky people who's getting to do what he always wanted. From everything you've said about him he's going to be great at his job, and he'll enrich the lives of those he comes into contact with.

It's even more awesome that his happiness is working on you, too, and letting you start to feel better about him flying the nest.

[rntracy1]

So, I want to update everyone on how my son is doing.  I have been texting with him quite a bit.  He got in to the Army Base at Fort Jackson SC on Wednesday after his layover flight out of Washington DC was cancelled because of the snowstorm on Tuesday night.  They put them up at the Hyatt Regency Hotel  and he enjoyed that.  Thursday through Sunday (today) was ceremonies and getting accustomed to being away from home, getting a boat load of vaccinations, etc.  He said he likes the food.  He had Chicken Cordon Bleu last night.  Don't know if it will be same type of food in Basic Training Camp, which he starts tomorrow.  They will take his phone away and he has to earn phone privileges that he will get on Sundays. He IS home sick however, he has met a lot of very nice people. There are 8 guys in his group and he likes them all very much.  But now the hard part begins.  His basic training begins tomorrow and lasts for 9 weeks. His graduation is March 29th.  At that time I will go to SC for family day, graduation, and visitation for the weekend.  I get to drive him to his next Base which is a little (NOT MUCH) closer to home.  I will drive him to NC.  @sunshineparadox, he will be REAL close to you then.  He will be there for 17 weeks.  

He just text me, he had steak, sweet potato fries and corn for dinner.  That will be the last thing he eats though until 5am tomorrow.  That is a hard thing for him right now, not being able to eat when he wants to. He will get used to that, but also, once basic training starts, he will be tired and in bed earlier than he is now.  So, all in all, he is doing well.  I have chatted with him pretty much every day/night, so it has been ok, but pretty soon, I won't be able to do that anymore. I guess it is good that I have been able to have that contact with him in the beginning, while I am getting used to him not being here.  I am doing better too.  It is nice to have my friends, family, and my TDN family to share all of this with.  Thank you all.

[jellysundae]

The character testing really starts now then, wow, he's gonna grow up an awful lot in these next 9 weeks, isn't he! Great that he likes the other guys in his group, hopefully they all still like each other in 9 weeks time! If they make it through intact these guys will likely be friends for life, won't they, this has to rank right up there for an ultimate male bonding experience.

I find the phone privileges thing interesting. I suppose I'd not even considered people having their phones taken away because they're such an integral part of so many people's lives now. Thinking on it though, I thoroughly approve. I'm guessing it's the way things have always been in army training, so why should that change just because people have mobile phones now? Also, a really immediate way to test recruit's ability to adjust. Though I'm guessing it's a whole lot easier than how things were before mobile phones, when I suspect there was only one phone and people had to queue up to use it!