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I Miss Myself


Naamah D.

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So, I'm going into working with kids. I feel I'm going to have to give things up in order to. I really like goth/punk/emo related things and I used to dress that way all the time. My mom said that she has known people who have taught that wear Tripp pants, but I'm really worried about getting fired. I don't mind dressing up for work, but I'm very nervous about people finding out that I wear stuff like that, that I listen to Aiden and A.F.I. and I'm worried about people finding out that I play Call of Duty.

 

I'm so fed up. I don't want to get fired if a kid sees me dressed like that outside of work. I fear for the future.

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I don't know where you live but you might be overreacting. Your mother is right. I had loads of teachers and professors who dressed more professionally at work and completely different outside of school. I'm not sure how people would find out about your hobbies unless you're adding students on Facebook. Some of my teacher friends play games like Call of Duty and similar things and sometimes even get together with other teachers to play, nobody cares. Anyone who knows those bands probably won't care and older or more conservative staff probably won't even know what that is... as far as music goes Aiden and AFI are really harmless.

 

Kids usually don't give a crap about what their teachers look like outside of work. If anything the fact that you're into goth/punk stuff and can still tone it down or change your style during work hours speaks to your credit as a professional.

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What you do outside work hours (bar illegal activities, of course, or if there's certain things explicitly stated in your job contract) really has no affect on your job. You can't get fired for having hobbies :P

 

I remember in high school, I ran into one of my math teachers at an Iron Maiden show. It was actually kind of awesome, and we had a much more fun work relationship after that. It's nice when kids can see their teachers/instructors/councelors as human beings and not just a vague authority figure.

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Yeah, to be honest, finding out your teachers aren't the drab, boring workaholics they present themselves in school to be was always quite fun for me. I had a teacher who found out I was a total nerd and would put chatspeak/1337 messages on our test papers, and always made gaming references. I don't think what you do on your own time can be taken against you, but naturally while at work there are expectations that you'd need to meet - but other than that, it won't be right for anyone to tell you what you can and can't do when you're not working.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Honestly, don't worry about it!

The teachers at my school who are the best liked by students are the ones who are do "fun" stuff instead of always acting "professional" because it makes them easier to relate to. My math teacher actually sometimes plays video games with students and no one minds.

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Just do what makes you feel good. If you are a good teacher/good at your job they won't fire you no matter what music you like or how you dress or that you play video games. BTW it's important for kids to learn that not all things different are bad.

I'm a goth myself, they know at work, they don't mind as long as I am dressed properly to do my job, am nice to colleagues and customers and do my job as I am supposed to. They also know I play video games. Most people either don't mind or like it. They make fun of me sometimes (jokes about me being a foreigner or about my white skin, they do it with other people too) but not to hurt me or anyone. It's just for fun. Works both ways.

I was afraid at first too, but it all worked out. It will work out for you too! The "strange" teachers are often the most fun!

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  • 5 weeks later...

Would it be better to live farther from where you work? Because I know for a fact that giving up yourself would not be the solution. Trust me, you won't be sane for very long, and nothing really matters in the end but having a peace of mind. If you like the job, I would live farther away so you can be yourself without them seeing (they might even like you!) But being stressed out isn't good for you if you have a choice.

 

I wish you all the best! Don't give up on yourself (although easier said than done)

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Would it be better to live farther from where you work? Because I know for a fact that giving up yourself would not be the solution. Trust me, you won't be sane for very long, and nothing really matters in the end but having a peace of mind. If you like the job, I would live farther away so you can be yourself without them seeing (they might even like you!) But being stressed out isn't good for you if you have a choice.

 

I wish you all the best! Don't give up on yourself (although easier said than done)

 

The thing is, I feel pressured to give up everything I love all because "I'm an adult now". I've heard mixed things about being yourself outside of work and how you "represent who you work for". I feel pressured to stop listening to the music I like and start tuning into Adele and Selena Gomez on the radio. The mainstream radio! I'm also very much gender neutral and sometimes act, dress and do things a guy would. I'd say 75% of my mentality is the one of a teenage boy. I don't identify with women, at all! I can't stand wearing these masks and playing charades.

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I felt exactly like this when I started work... You feel like you can't be yourself...

For me, I decided that it was important that I look and act professional in front of clients, but I am more myself around my colleagues. They just put all my nerdy querks down to my age I think haha :)

I tend to wear smart clothes at work with one piece that is more like me (like today I was wearing a leopard print scarf over my clothes).

I find it to be a nice balance :)

You should continue to wear what you like outside work though :) I have found that my clients don't even recognize me in my usual childish attire ;) I have a thing for hoodies with ears haha!

You don't have to change to fit your job. As long as you aren't doing anything that is seriously in bad taste, you can't go wrong :)

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