How do I feel about having a religious friend while I am not religious at all?

[myself]

Okay so I have this friend that I absolutely appreciate and care for. I consider her my only close friend, but recently she told me that she is very religious and that she does everything for God. I am not saying that her beliefs are wrong, I respect her and her religion. But I just feel since I am the complete opposite, I don't consider myself atheist but I just say I have no religion. I don't know how to feel. I feel like every little thing I do I will offend her in some way. I feel like now its gonna be weird for me to do anything in front of her of say anything that will make her uncomfortable. I am honestly not sure how to feel about any of this. I've know her for a long time now and I know she used to be on the kind of bad side. she used to drink, smoke, do things that a lot of people have done. But now she's saying that that is all wrong. Cursing is wrong, cutting your hair is wrong. I don't know I just miss when we used to curse at each other in a joking way but now it all just feels wrong. I just miss her old self and I hope that we can still get along. Also I hope this didn't come out in the wrong way or if I am saying something that offends you I just don't know how to feel about any of this.

[CannaCasey]

One of the biggest lessons in being an adult, (This realization is about 10 years old now so im feeling like the old lady in the titanic now) was that it ok to let friends go. sometimes we outgrow them like any relationship. Just my two cents is maybe its time to let them go and grow! This is such a hard thing to do especially over differences like that. But she sounds like a bummer.    Hope it works out. 

[enitul]

You don't have to let your friend go if she's that important to you in my opinion. But if you respect her and her religion while not having one yourself then I think the least you could do is trying to be a little considerate around her. Try not to curse, smoke or drink alcohol (which ARE wrong and not really needed in life if you ask me. But I don't think cutting your hair is) around her would be a good start I think. But most importantly, talk to her about how you feel and try to find a solution that will satisfy you both. Otherwise the uneasiness might become worse the longer you wait and it might even drive you apart when it's not really needed. But whatever happens, I hope that you both will find what will make you happy. Good luck.

[Sciurus carolinensis]

She can believe that cutting her hair is wrong, but she doesn't get to tell you that you shouldn't cut your hair. Same with the other things, although they are bad habits they are not "wrong" for you to do because her religion says so. Her religious beliefs are hers, and unless you share them you are under no obligation to live by them. She will hopefully figure that out at some point. I'm an atheist, but i do have an example of something that while not a religion gave me a similar mindset to your friend. When I was in high school, I stopped eating meat. For a number of reasons, including being bullied for a love for animals. The next year or so, I drove my meat eating family and friends nuts by becoming "preachy" about vegetarianism. Telling them what they were eating was wrong and so on. Eventually, I learned that I had to respect their choices and not try to change them to my point of view if I wanted to keep my relationships. I haven't eaten meat since, they all still eat meat, and that's okay. Hopefully you and your friend can reach a compromise in which you stay friends and respect each other's religion/lack of religion.

[bonnie_morrison]

You have to go with what's in your heart and what feels right to you. I understand where you're coming from, (I'm alternative/new age myself) but I understand everybody has their own beliefs, I just ask "Hey, I'll respect your beliefs if you respect mine, that's all I ask".

 

[Adara]

If she's a super religious person and you're not and SHE wasn't the one to break things off in terms of the friendship, I think you're fine.

I would continue just being yourself (swearing, talking naughty things, etc.) and then if she becomes uncomfortable or starts judging you, then I think the friendship is done. Or she may judge you, but not enough to stop being friends with you, then just stay friends. That's adult life.

I am not friends with people who constantly judge me and my beliefs (or lack thereof). I'm an accepting person and my friends are accepting of me. I have family members who are super religious (my sister-in-law) and she just lets the family know when I've or someone else said something that goes too far for her. We just don't bring it up again. But we can talk about an array of controversial topics that she happily joins the debate in.

[Mouseykins]

I am a religious person, but I follow my heart and do what's right for me. I've had friends who were very very religious. I respected them and would tone down my usual antics. The way we behave around home is not always how we can behave around our friends. At home, often we curse a bit, even around our kids. I'd rather them hear these words at home and know not to repeat them then learning them from others. When I'm around others, I don't curse and respect that different houses use different words.

If you want to remain friends I think maybe it might be wise to have a conversation with your friend. Let them know you respect their beliefs and their choices and they are not for you. I would ask that if anything you say or do around them is offensive to their beliefs, that they kindly let you know and maybe explain why. Then when you're hanging out in the future you can avoid that and not offend them. It works both ways. If you don't like talking about a certain subject etc. let your friend know. In order to maintain our friendships, we need to be open, honest, understanding and respectful. We are all different and unique and that's a good thing.

My religious friends, didn't appreciate the fact that I didn't accept their religion as mine and did not want to completely change my beliefs. We stopped talking, her kids never came over to play with mine or help babysit anymore. The saddest part about it is my girls lost a few friends. But that's the way things go sometimes. People change and they do grow apart. Do what feels right for you.

[aranas]

It's totally ok. You don't need to argue about that.