I'm Proud Of Myself... And I Want To Share Why.

[nightfall8705]

I have always been a large person. I honestly do have big bones, and many medical conditions, and my diet and exercise regimen have always been poorly to non-existent, but all of that changed in the summer of 2011 when I was suddenly inspired to do the Presidential Active Lifestyle Award (PALA) program. I only did it because I had convinced myself that I couldn't. My back spasms and aches made it very hard to do the simplest of things, and out in public was very embarrassing because I had to use those motorized carts to ride around stores due to my back problems. My doctor had suggested that I drop some pounds to lessen the stress on my spine and the discs in my back. I was feeling like it was hard to even move without pain, but I humored myself.

 

At my heaviest, I was tipping the scales at 385 pounds (about 175 kilos/27.5 stone for you English folks) and I was completely distraught by it all. I already had low self-esteem and severe clinical depression to deal with, and I felt like I had given up and just succumbed to my limit. Then, I got inspired. The PALA program only asked that I exercise 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 8 weeks or so. On a whim, I created an account, and started logging activities.

 

At the beginning, I was bigger than "Precious" star Gabourey Sidibe, and struggled to even walk one lap around the apartment complex circle without gasping for breath. I was severely out of shape.

 

By the time the sixth week rolled around, I was able to do at least 4 laps continuously before having to stop for a minute. By the end of the eighth week, I was averaging 28-30 laps per week, doing much more than I was expected to do.

 

By December 2011, I had lost at least 20 pounds (9 kilos/1.4 stone) and was happy with my progress. Around this time, I met a woman through my doctor named Ellen, whom I met with regularly. Ellen became my health coach, and she offered me tips on diet as she was a registered dietitian as well.

 

Slowly, I made changes to my diet. I tried to eat less junk and fried/processed food. I ate less bread. Took in less fats. Cut way back on sodas, sweets, and sugar. I switched from whole milk to 2 percent, from white bread to wheat, white rice to brown, and more fresh veggies and fruits, instead of the tinned ones. I even ate less beef and pork, and more lean chicken and nuts for protein, and drinking lots and lots of water.

 

I eventually did the PALA program for EIGHT cycles (64 weeks) and logged my activities every day.

 

In December 2011, I also was in a car accident that totaled my car and my forearm was broken in two places. That instance, plus other circumstances, led me to eating less and exercising more. By March of 2012, I had lost 15 more pounds gradually, and was able to come back home to my own home with another vehicle. By the end of December 2012, my brother's friend got into a wreck, totaling that car, and it wasn't until February 2013 before we got car number three. May 2013 came around, and THAT car broke down. Car number four didn't arrive until March 2014, but went into the shop in May. The car got out of the shop after three months last Friday. In between those times, my brother and I had to walk everywhere to get where we needed to go.

 

Even now, my diet/exercise regimen is still not brilliant, but my diet is much, much better than it used to be. My weight has fluctuated throughout the months, every once in a while, I will log my activities and such, but every day, I try to be active in some way. I had long stopped having to use the motorized rolling carts and was looking and feeling better.

 

I have had the ability to take a body photo of myself ever so often during the last year or so of my weight loss journey. I didn't do this for other people, because I was tired of their comments and judgments. I don't care what people think of me. I didn't do this for my friends, my family, or even my doctor. I did it for me; to prove myself that I was right when I believed I couldn't do it, but I was wrong. Very wrong.

 

People have complimented me very much. They have seen a great difference in me. I have seen it too, and while I still have a long way to get to my ultimate weight goal, I am close to my first major weight loss goal. I'm not in this for the fad, I'm doing it on my own terms, my way, and it's working.

 

And I'm so proud of myself not only for proving myself wrong, but for also sticking it out, playing through the pain, and achieving success. To this day, I have lost two pant sizes, and three shirt sizes, and I will continue to keep going.

 

Some might say that it's not over until the fat lady sings, but I'll say this. I'm a fat lady, and I've been singing the whole time. It's far from being over, and if I can do it, you can do it too.

 

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I have been able to take some body shot photographs of myself throughout the latter part of my weight loss journey. I used to be very embarrassed to see these photos, but now, they are a catalyst for me. I tried to nearly wear the same outfit with every picture so you could really see what was lost, so please bare with me about the quality of these photos. My old phone really sucks at photos.

 

Picture One: December 17, 2013 Weight Loss:

 

 

Picture Two: March 1, 2014 Weight Loss:

 

 

 

 

Picture Three: July 6, 2014 Weight Loss:

 

 

 

Picture Four: July 23, 2014 Weight Loss - The most recent: You can definitely see how much looser my clothes are since the second picture. :)

 

 

I'm proud of myself for how far I've already come. Ellen is thrilled with my progress, as am I. I'm really glad I've done this, stuck with it, and had my diligence and hard work pay off.

 

I just wanted to share this with all of you. Thanks for reading. :)

[Sinvanor]

It's not easy to hold your head high when things are tough and I think losing weight and getting healthier is one of those goals so many people have, yet so few actually attain it let alone all the other adversities you've spoken of that you've had to and possibly are going through.

I too have been working on diet currently, doing ketogenic and have lost 12 pounds in 2 months. I've struggled with weight since I was 9 as I got hit with depression and major OCD that dominated my life, though I didn't know it at the time. I know how hard it is to stick to something, when every fiber of your being is crying and whinning for you to stop. But you don't. And that's awesome. That's sheer victory in the face of a mountain of adversity, even if others can't see it or don't think it's a big deal. I just want you to know that many of us have been or are down the same road, the road that we felt we could never traverse and laughed sadly at the very thought.

Just letting you know, anyone who has travelled this long and often difficult path, we're all very proud of you. <3

P.S. I hope you brothers friend is banned from ever driving your car again, LOL.

[Naamah D.]

I know the feeling of weight troubles. I'm 5'2, but I have a huge bone structure. I'm over 200, but people say to me "I never would've guessed that you weigh...." I think the reason why with me is that my weight is distributed very well.

At most stores I take a 3x in top (Torrid and H&M I take a 2x and I have some clothes from Torrid that are a 1x) and I tell people and they tell me that I'm not a 3x.

.Keep doing what makes you feel good :)

[Lia Seeya]

Congratulations, Angel! <3 I'm so very proud of you! Kudos for getting healthy and fit, your body will thank you for it. :)

 

I too have weight issues, and my progress has been pretty slow. But hearing about your progress makes me want to get back on the horse and go strong. *high five*

[blowupthesun]

You're awesome!!! What a great story, and you really should be proud of yourself. Not just for losing the weight, but it sounds like you've started believing in yourself more and that's a success on its own. I am so happy to hear that, and you should be happy for youself too, because you're kicking butt and you've earned it.

[vegetables]

The journey of weight loss is a struggle. It's not something you can inherit, or steal, or borrow. It's not a test you can cheat on. You cannot make progress without constant work.

 

It shows dedication. It shows discipline. It shows self-respect. And it shows patience, work ethic, and passion.

 

I'm so proud of you!!!

[Shelley]

Angel, you are such an inspiration. Not just by the weight you lost, but the confidence you gained and the strength that this shows! I wish I was as strong as you with my weight journey even though mine is a diet to gain weight *rants about Crohns Disease*. Seeing you so happy and healthy with so much self confidence makes me wish I had more love for my body. You look great, but most importantly you FEEL great. Way to go!!

[nightfall8705]

It's not easy to hold your head high when things are tough and I think losing weight and getting healthier is one of those goals so many people have, yet so few actually attain it let alone all the other adversities you've spoken of that you've had to and possibly are going through.

 

I too have been working on diet currently, doing ketogenic and have lost 12 pounds in 2 months. I've struggled with weight since I was 9 as I got hit with depression and major OCD that dominated my life, though I didn't know it at the time. I know how hard it is to stick to something, when every fiber of your being is crying and whinning for you to stop. But you don't. And that's awesome. That's sheer victory in the face of a mountain of adversity, even if others can't see it or don't think it's a big deal. I just want you to know that many of us have been or are down the same road, the road that we felt we could never traverse and laughed sadly at the very thought.

 

Just letting you know, anyone who has travelled this long and often difficult path, we're all very proud of you. <3

 

P.S. I hope you brothers friend is banned from ever driving your car again, LOL.

Thank you, and congratulations on your own weight loss journey success! I am very proud of you too! Baby steps... but getting started is often the hardest part of the journey for most people, and I think they forget their own limits because they're so used to their lifestyle, and easy to give up on their limits. I was one of those people, but I felt like I owed it to myself to at least try, and I think that as long as a person is willing to try, they have a chance to succeed.

 

As for the "friend"... well he still owes me $1,200 dollars for damages that night, and haven't paid me a cent. Not only is he banned from driving, he's banned from our "friendship" and our place unless he came to pay us something back. It was a real pain in the rear to deal with that mess, but I doubt we'll ever see that money, or him again.

 

 

I know the feeling of weight troubles. I'm 5'2, but I have a huge bone structure. I'm over 200, but people say to me "I never would've guessed that you weigh...." I think the reason why with me is that my weight is distributed very well.

 

At most stores I take a 3x in top (Torrid and H&M I take a 2x and I have some clothes from Torrid that are a 1x) and I tell people and they tell me that I'm not a 3x.

 

.Keep doing what makes you feel good :)

I'm not much taller than you. I'm 5'5" myself, but that bone structure makes clothes shopping difficult. We have bigger arms, bigger hips, bigger torsos, so shopping for clothes is always a hassle. Both shirts I have worn in my photographs are 5x size, and as you could see, I used to fill those out, even after two and a half years of trying to lose weight.

 

I prefer a baggier size in shirts, so I like my shirts to be at least one size bigger just for comfort. Nowadays, I feel comfortable in 3x sizes, but my brother bought me a shirt not long ago what was a 2x that fits me rather well.

 

I will continue to keep going, as i do feel better, and I am happy that I have the confidence to continue, after all of this time. :)

 

 

Congratulations, Angel! <3 I'm so very proud of you! Kudos for getting healthy and fit, your body will thank you for it. :)

 

I too have weight issues, and my progress has been pretty slow. But hearing about your progress makes me want to get back on the horse and go strong. *high five*

Thank you, Lia! Congratulations on your progress too! Slow and steady wins the race! The biggest thing about dieting is timing. People nowadays have no patience. They're all into the latest fad because they want that beach body in 10 days, but they fail to remember that fads are dangerous, and the latest diet may not be the best for them, and then it goes too far. Even slow progress is progress. Stay strong, Lia. You can do anything you put your mind to! <3

 

 

You're awesome!!! What a great story, and you really should be proud of yourself. Not just for losing the weight, but it sounds like you've started believing in yourself more and that's a success on its own. I am so happy to hear that, and you should be happy for youself too, because you're kicking butt and you've earned it.

Haha! Thank you! I am more confident and I do have a higher self-esteem than I did. I agree that that is a success on its own, but technically, I'm losing butt, and I am happier with the improved me. I still get massive spasms and have bad back days, but I have noticed that my back pain has diminished, even just a little bit. That in itself speaks volumes because before, some days, the pain was near unbearable!

 

 

The journey of weight loss is a struggle. It's not something you can inherit, or steal, or borrow. It's not a test you can cheat on. You cannot make progress without constant work.

 

It shows dedication. It shows discipline. It shows self-respect. And it shows patience, work ethic, and passion.

 

I'm so proud of you!!!

Thank you Emma! You are absolutely correct! It is constant work, but the fact that I have gained dedication, discipline, self-respect, better patience, work-ethic,and passion was just a plus. I try to view it as losing negativity and gaining positivity in its place.

 

Thank you and everyone else for your compliments, support, and encouragement! <3

 

 

Angel, you are such an inspiration. Not just by the weight you lost, but the confidence you gained and the strength that this shows! I wish I was as strong as you with my weight journey even though mine is a diet to gain weight *rants about Crohns Disease*. Seeing you so happy and healthy with so much self confidence makes me wish I had more love for my body. You look great, but most importantly you FEEL great. Way to go!!

Aww, I reached my positive likes for today already...

 

Thank you, Shelley-Bean, you are an inspiration too! I have a cousin with Crohns, and she tells me it's literally a pain to function sometimes. She is a trooper, and so are you to endure what you do with your head still high. The best thing a person can do for themselves is learn to love who they are. It's much easier said than done, but once you attain it, you want to keep it. I hope that sharing my story can help inspire someone else in their own journey. Keep positive, because you can do anything you put your heart into. <3

 

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[decchild]

I'm so happy for you Angel! I'm glad to see that you're doing this for yourself and to make YOURSELF better and not because of someone else's perception of you. Keep up the good work. =)

[Naamah D.]

Nightfall8705

 

I actually don't have much trouble finding clothes at all. I shop online for the most part. My jeans are starting to fall down all the time so I ordered a pair of pants in a size 16 because I cannot stand baggy clothes. I like form fitting clothes because I'm very happy with how I look. Normally I'm a size 18 in jeans. My mom measured me yesterday and I'm 44" (top part of my body), 41" (waist) and I'd have to look back, but I think that I'm a 52" in hip. I think that the reason why my hips are the largest part is walking and eating healthy. I have junk food every now and then, but there's only so much candy corn I can eat without stomach sickness. My waist last time we measured it was 46". My mom told me that it looks like I've lost weight. 5" in the stomach is a pretty big deal for me.

 

Diet and exercise go hand in hand. My diet staples are fish, yogurt, cantaloupe, hummus, brown rice green tea, carrots and celery. So for someone who may look like she's some "fatty" (I hate that word and cannot believe I just typed it) I'm perfectly fine as far as health goes. Obesity was taken out of my medical records because I requested it and my mom talked about my being active.

 

You're a wonderful, beautiful person :) and have been so kind to everyone on this forum. I wish you luck in life :)

[nightfall8705]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragements! I really appreciate it! <3

[WhiteWolf]

I am so proud of you, Angel! I was crying tears of joy for your weight loss. :) Keep it up!

 

As long as we're owning up to the whole height/weight/size thing, I may as well confess. I'm 5'1, and weigh 172. I'm a 1X in the Womens department, and a 16 or 18 in pants. I'm trying to lose weight, but I've made peace with myself that I'll never be a size 6. I can work towards a 12 or 14, and be happy with that.

 

Making peace with my size and body shape wasn't easy, but it made me happier.

[lizzyjane101]

Wow, that's incredible Angel! I can imagine it must be easier to conduct day to day life when you can move more freely and walk for longer. My mother has always struggled with weight issues. She's not even that overweight, but she wants to be healthier and every time she starts eating better, she weighs herself and gets depressed when there's no change and then goes back to eating very unhealthy food. You've really done a fantastic job at persisting all this way, I wish there were a way to give my mum some of my strength so she could feel better.

 

Congratulations on the progress so far and good luck for the future! Physical health plays such a huge role not only in day-to-day capabilities, but mental health. I'm so glad that you're feeling good! Keep up the good work <3

[nightfall8705]

Thank you all again for your wonderfully kind and encouraging comments!

 

I want you all to know that I have spoken with Ellen (my health coach and dietitian) today, and upon viewing my last (the most recent) photo of mine, she had this to say:

 

"Angel, darlin, you look great and it was such a pleasant surprise hearing from you! You continue to amaze and make me so proud and happy of your desire and willingness to do the things necessary to live an energetically healthy and fulfilling life!"

 

She went on to say that she wished I could start loving myself enough to include my beautiful face and said she would be at the clinic next week if I wanted to come by and see her.

 

I would love to, but my brother's piece o' crap money pit junk car died again (AGAIN!!) so I won't be able to go...

 

Anyway, Ellen has been so supportive of me, and so her comments really meant a lot to me. She is really pleased with my progress, as am I, as I said before, and that encourages me to keep going!

 

I hope that my story will continue to help inspire others, not just those on a weight loss journey, but every journey in this life.