deboratibi Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 (Not mine, my mother's) I didn't think I'd post about this, but I don't think I can sleep unless I let out some of my feelings about what happened today. And I don't really have anyone to talk to about this right now, so I figured posting here might help just as well. Today my mom fractured her right kneecap. Not what you'd call a tragedy, but I'm a very sensitive person, so I'm affected pretty badly by things. And when it comes to my mom and her well-being, I'm affected 100x worse. Also, my mom is 64 years old and she suffers from arthritis and spondylolisthesis (slippage of the vertebra). So that obviously doesn't make things any easier. The good thing though, is that she's an incredibly positive person, and after the initial pain and shock, she dealt with the situation really well. The nurse at the hospital was impressed with her attitude and said he liked how spirited she was. I wish I were a little bit more like her in that sense, but sadly I am not. I keep replaying the moment she broke her knee in my head, because it was so terrifying. Today was supposed to be an ordinary day... I was supposed to go out with my mom to run some errands. But when she was getting dressed, she slipped on the rug and fell on her knees. I was in the next room, and I heard her screaming. I never heard her scream like that, so I immediately knew something bad had happened. When she said (or rather, screamed/cried) that she broke her knee, I couldn't believe it, but then again, I could see how much in pain she was. I called an ambulance and thankfully the EMTs were very nice, and they made my mom feel a lot less scared. She was terrified about the possibility of needing surgery, because she might never be the same again. The EMTs told us there was a chance she hadn't actually broken her knee and that even if she did, she might not need surgery, but sadly they were wrong on both counts. Her kneecap is indeed fractured, and since it broke in half instead of just cracking, she will need surgery. Tomorrow we're going back to the hospital to schedule the surgery. I think I'm still in kind of a state of shock. I keep feeling like soon I'll find out this was all a dream and that none of this actually happened. But then I have moments when I tell myself it's real, and I don't know how to deal with that. My mom is a very active (and anxious) person, so not being able to move her leg and having to stay in bed most of the time will be extra difficult for her. She actually has restless leg syndrome, so I'm worried about her moving her leg in her sleep (her leg is immobilised, but still, I feel she might move it in some way that will make it worse). I'm tired, but I can't sleep right now... I don't know what to expect of the surgery, I just know that she will have to keep her leg immobilised for a few months. But I don't know what to expect of our lives during her recovery... I've already been going through some difficult stuff lately, and now things are going to be even more difficult. I guess that's life, but like I said before, I'm not very good at dealing with certain situations. I try to tell myself that it could've been worse, and be thankful that it's just her kneecap, instead of her neck or something. And that she doesn't have a disease, and she will recover. But at the same time I keep wishing this hadn't happened. I think I can't sleep because I'm scared of what tomorrow is going to be like... as if not going to sleep would keep tomorrow from coming, lol. Who said feelings always have to make sense? Mouseykins, babayaga67 and jellysundae 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouseykins Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Sending you a big gigantic virtual hug from freezing cold Canada!! :heart: If you or your Mom have any questions make sure you ask them and maybe ask about her RLS and how that could impact her recovery. It might set your mind a little at ease. I don't really have much else to say, other than I'm here for you if you need to vent. I wish your Mom a fast recovery with no complications. Feelings are those miraculous things that don't always make sense and sometimes complicate things further. I hope you both can get some rest! deboratibi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysundae Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Oh Deb!! I . . . my brain can't process this AT. ALL. so I have absolutely NOTHING helpful to say, I can't even put my lack of words into words I hope you're asleep right now, there, that seems to be the most brain's giving me right now. You and your family will get through this. *hugs* deboratibi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nielo Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Oh no! Bad things happening to your loved ones is just the worst, isn't it? Because you want to do something, fix something, but you can't, but your brain somehow fails to process the fact that you can't actually take their pain away, or undo the bad thing altogether, and it'll go into overdrive, worrying. Which is really counter-productive, but not something you can actually do much about either. (Just try not to be like me, and worry about the fact that you're worrying. It's just a pointless spiral of worry that makes you feel worse and doesn't help anyone.) Let's hope she can have the surgery quickly, so she can be on the road to recovery soon! And I hope you did manage to get some sleep, because in my experience, everything just seems even worst at night and when you're tired. Keep us posted (and you know where to find me if you need to vent)! *hugs* deboratibi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deboratibi Posted February 3, 2018 Author Share Posted February 3, 2018 I don't think there's much that can be said; I just had to let it out, and I'm glad you guys are here to listen and support! Thank you so much 7 hours ago, Nielo said: Bad things happening to your loved ones is just the worst, isn't it? Because you want to do something, fix something, but you can't, but your brain somehow fails to process the fact that you can't actually take their pain away, or undo the bad thing altogether, and it'll go into overdrive, worrying. Which is really counter-productive, but not something you can actually do much about either. (Just try not to be like me, and worry about the fact that you're worrying. It's just a pointless spiral of worry that makes you feel worse and doesn't help anyone.) This is 100% true! Thankfully, things were a bit better today. My mom is dealing with it extremely well, so that's making it easier for me to deal with the situation. I think I still need to process the whole thing, and get used to the changes. She's getting surgery on Tuesday, which is also good. Yesterday we were told that she might be scheduled on Thursday or Friday, and I was hoping that wouldn't be the case. Today they changed her cast, and the one she has on now is a lot firmer, so that's also making me feel better. Now it's even harder for her to move her leg. I also decided to look up what the surgery would be like, and I'm glad that it seems fairly simple (as far as surgeries go). I did go to sleep, but I kept waking up again every couple of hours or so. I think tonight I will manage to get some better sleep, because I won't be so worried. My mom actually slept well last night, despite not being able to change sleeping positions as usual. I feel kinda stupid for being more worried about this than she is, lol. But oh well, that's me jellysundae and Mouseykins 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysundae Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Don't feel stupid for worrying a lot, Deb! Your mum no doubt appreciates how much you care. <3 I'm very glad that the initial panic level has subsided for you all, and that your mum's managing better than you'd hoped, let's hope it's all smooth sailing from now on! deboratibi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angeló Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 im really sorry about your mom Deb , but as a Radiologist i can assure you the patella is one of the best bones to heal due to the strong muscles around it that can pull it together ... what operation will she have ? screws and wires ?? jellysundae 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rntracy1 Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Deb, A few years ago my mom fell and broke her femur. She was a little bit older than your mom when it happened. She is quite heavy as well, so I was worried that she wouldn't recover to her former self. My mom had been very active and independent despite her weight. She was determined to get that back. She had a long, hard road ahead of her, but she did it! Because your mom is active, independent, and determined as well, I have every confidence she will pull through this good as new. As a nurse, I agree with Angelo regarding healing, and attitude & determination have a lot to do with as well. Good luck to you and your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. jellysundae 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nielo Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 20 hours ago, deboratibi said: I don't think there's much that can be said; I just had to let it out, and I'm glad you guys are here to listen and support! Thank you so much This is 100% true! Thankfully, things were a bit better today. My mom is dealing with it extremely well, so that's making it easier for me to deal with the situation. I think I still need to process the whole thing, and get used to the changes. She's getting surgery on Tuesday, which is also good. Yesterday we were told that she might be scheduled on Thursday or Friday, and I was hoping that wouldn't be the case. Today they changed her cast, and the one she has on now is a lot firmer, so that's also making me feel better. Now it's even harder for her to move her leg. I also decided to look up what the surgery would be like, and I'm glad that it seems fairly simple (as far as surgeries go). I did go to sleep, but I kept waking up again every couple of hours or so. I think tonight I will manage to get some better sleep, because I won't be so worried. My mom actually slept well last night, despite not being able to change sleeping positions as usual. I feel kinda stupid for being more worried about this than she is, lol. But oh well, that's me I'm happy to hear you're feeling a bit better and that your mom is handling everything really well! And I think it's natural to worry more about it than she does; in my experience, people tend to worry more when something happens to someone they love, than when something happens to themselves. (Maybe it has something to do with not knowing exactly what they're feeling, and having zero control over what's happening to them.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deboratibi Posted February 4, 2018 Author Share Posted February 4, 2018 @jellysundae Thanks Jelly! I really hope so too. She's a bit worried about the surgery because of anaesthesia and the fact that her knee will hurt more afterwards (because right now she says it doesn't hurt, unless she touches it). The funny thing is I'm not particularly scared of anaesthesia (even though I know it can be dangerous), so I'm not thinking about it that much. But I'm very concerned about pain... 14 hours ago, Angeló said: im really sorry about your mom Deb , but as a Radiologist i can assure you the patella is one of the best bones to heal due to the strong muscles around it that can pull it together ... what operation will she have ? screws and wires ?? Thanks Angelo! That's really good to know, I'm definitely telling her this! As far as I know, that's the one she's getting (screws and tension band wiring). 9 hours ago, rntracy1 said: Deb, A few years ago my mom fell and broke her femur. She was a little bit older than your mom when it happened. She is quite heavy as well, so I was worried that she wouldn't recover to her former self. My mom had been very active and independent despite her weight. She was determined to get that back. She had a long, hard road ahead of her, but she did it! Because your mom is active, independent, and determined as well, I have every confidence she will pull through this good as new. As a nurse, I agree with Angelo regarding healing, and attitude & determination have a lot to do with as well. Good luck to you and your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Thank you so much, Tracy! I'm glad to hear your mom did it. My mom is also kinda heavy, so I'm impressed with how she's been moving around using a walker and her "good" leg (I put good in quotes because of her arthritis haha). I thought she'd prefer a wheelchair. Yay for moms being such troopers! @Nielo I think you're right! That makes a lot of sense Thanks, Nielo! rntracy1, Mouseykins and Nielo 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysundae Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 A lot of your mum's fears are fears of the unknown, aren't they. Same with most of us when faced with something we don't have experience of; we populate our minds with all kinds of fears because we don't know what to expect. I'm pretty sure that once the op is done she'll manage better than she expected, just because things are actually a reality at that point and hopefully not the agony she's maybe imagining now. deboratibi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rntracy1 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 16 hours ago, deboratibi said: @jellysundae Thanks Jelly! I really hope so too. She's a bit worried about the surgery because of anaesthesia and the fact that her knee will hurt more afterwards (because right now she says it doesn't hurt, unless she touches it). The funny thing is I'm not particularly scared of anaesthesia (even though I know it can be dangerous), so I'm not thinking about it that much. But I'm very concerned about pain... Thanks Angelo! That's really good to know, I'm definitely telling her this! As far as I know, that's the one she's getting (screws and tension band wiring). Thank you so much, Tracy! I'm glad to hear your mom did it. My mom is also kinda heavy, so I'm impressed with how she's been moving around using a walker and her "good" leg (I put good in quotes because of her arthritis haha). I thought she'd prefer a wheelchair. Yay for moms being such troopers! @Nielo I think you're right! That makes a lot of sense Thanks, Nielo! Yes, I second what Nielo said. Of course we worry about our family members. Especially our moms. Yay!! I'm glad your mom is getting around fairly well now. That just goes to show her determination. I am glad she doesn't want to use a wheelchair, although it might be better for her for longer stints. By the sound of it, your mom will do great. As far as the anesthesia goes, the problem is usually an allergy to it. If your mom has already had previous surgeries, she should be fine. deboratibi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deboratibi Posted February 7, 2018 Author Share Posted February 7, 2018 Thanks again, everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that my mom got surgery yesterday, and everything went well! I had a little moment of panic at the hospital because my mom's surgery was supposed to begin at 1 pm, and I went to her room at 4 and she wasn't there. Her roommate said "Oh, are you looking for the woman who was here? She's in the operation room" and I was like WHAT, because this kind of surgery is supposed to take about an hour and a half, at most. I asked a few nurses where she was, and they said they would call the people at the surgical centre to make sure she was okay, but no one was answering the phone. I kept thinking, that's not a good sign. Every 5 minutes or so I'd ask the nurses to try again, until one of them said, a bit too quickly "they answered, and they said she's okay". I thought, maybe she just said that to make me stop asking lol But then I saw my mom arriving on a gurney, and she was already having a giggly chat with a nurse, so I immediately knew she was alright. Turns out the surgery actually began a lot later than scheduled, because of course it was. It's a hospital. I should have figured that out, but in my defence, no one made it seem like that's what happened, lol. She came back home today, and right now she's in pain. I'm hoping it will go away soon, or at least become a lot more tolerable. The doctor gave her some strong pain medication, so I think she'll be fine. Nielo, Mouseykins and jellysundae 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouseykins Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I'm so glad to hear that things went well for your Mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysundae Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Good stuff! Now onwards with a positive recovery! Everyone can breathe again now, yes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rntracy1 Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 58 minutes ago, deboratibi said: Thanks again, everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that my mom got surgery yesterday, and everything went well! I had a little moment of panic at the hospital because my mom's surgery was supposed to begin at 1 pm, and I went to her room at 4 and she wasn't there. Her roommate said "Oh, are you looking for the woman who was here? She's in the operation room" and I was like WHAT, because this kind of surgery is supposed to take about an hour and a half, at most. I asked a few nurses where she was, and they said they would call the people at the surgical centre to make sure she was okay, but no one was answering the phone. I kept thinking, that's not a good sign. Every 5 minutes or so I'd ask the nurses to try again, until one of them said, a bit too quickly "they answered, and they said she's okay". I thought, maybe she just said that to make me stop asking lol But then I saw my mom arriving on a gurney, and she was already having a giggly chat with a nurse, so I immediately knew she was alright. Turns out the surgery actually began a lot later than scheduled, because of course it was. It's a hospital. I should have figured that out, but in my defence, no one made it seem like that's what happened, lol. She came back home today, and right now she's in pain. I'm hoping it will go away soon, or at least become a lot more tolerable. The doctor gave her some strong pain medication, so I think she'll be fine. Ah Deb that's great! I was just going to ask how mom was doing. I do want to prepare you, she may have a bumpy road ahead of her. My mom had to work hard, it definitely wasn't easy. But like I said, she was very determined, as it sounds like your mom is too. Because of their age, it makes it a little more difficult, but not impossible by any means. Being active before hand is definitely a plus. And your mom was getting around with her walker before the surgery, so she will do the same afterwards too. The pain is the most difficult part. My mom was in a lot of pain too. That will get better each day. Of course you would worry. You would think that something like surgery would go as scheduled. But, unless it is first thing in the morning (and even then it doesn't always) it gets more and more off schedule as the day goes on. Make sure mom takes her pain medication. Tell her not to be a martyr. If she is in pain, she can't do what she needs to do to get better. Best of luck. I'm glad things are on the upswing. jellysundae and Mouseykins 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nielo Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I'm happy to hear the surgery went well! Recovery will probably be challenging, but with decent pain medication and determination, I'm sure she'll start feeling a lot better soon. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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