CRUSHING SO HARD ON MY TEACHER!!!???

[Psmucker3]

Hi all!! First off, thanks for taking the time to read my post....

 

So I am a writing major in college & have this one teacher who is amazing. He's NOT hot at all....in fact I'm pretty sure he's maybe around 40, gray hair, glasses, short, has a wife & two young kids, etc. You get the jist....

 

Anyways....I literally think he is the coolest person ever. I'm not even attracted to him at all in a weird, sexual way. Everything he says is just so poetic and he look at life and literature through such a beautiful lens. 

 

Is this normal or am I going insane

 

 

[mistress_mantis]

Is it still a crush if you're not sexually or romantically attracted to him? Sounds to me like you just admire the guy in a platonic way. I mean, you're not fantasizing about him reciting love poems to you on a gondola ride, right?

[Panthersclaw]

I second mistress_mantis. I don't you have a crush on your teacher but instead just admire him. Sometimes people mix up certain feelings for others. Like admiration and attraction. I liked my English teacher, but not in an "I want to date them" kind of way. I enjoyed the fact that they supported me and helped me with my problems in their class, and worked to improve my work. I admired their intelligence and way of engaging the class in their projects to make it entertaining but intellectually beneficial.

[lakecat]

...I'm not even attracted to him at all in a weird, sexual way. Everything he says is just so poetic and he looks at life and literature through such a beautiful lens.

 

Part of maturity is learning to see beyond what's in front of you. It sounds like you are doing just that. Your eyes are opened in a new way now, and you are partly attaching that sensation to him. Just remember that we all seek out the spiritual as well as the physical, and try to learn which is which. We've all heard stories of some teachers, especially college literature and art professors, who take advantage of this power to charm some of their students. You may also develop similar feelings for writers, artists, musicians and philosophers as you discover them as well, even if you never actually meet them in person. Another thing to keep in mind is this is different than high school, where a lot of relationships are based on image, social status or belonging to cliques. In college, you realize that everyone has a mind too and that opens up a whole new way to interrelate on a higher level. These friendships will be deeper and more meaningful than those younger ones. If you feel the way you describe for someone twice your age, you can probably find others closer to your own age who like what you like and who you can form friendships or romantic relationships with.

 

I didn't want to keep editing that post, so I'm adding this here. There is a movie that deals (in part) with what you are experiencing. It's called Mr. Holland's Opus. A high school music teacher develops an innocent relationship with a gifted young singer who has a crush on him. He recognizes her talent and encourages her in a way no one ever had before. This leads her to think that he has romantic feelings for her. I won't spoil it by telling you everything, but suffice it to say he handles the situation perfectly. That is just one story within the whole movie, which I highly recommend.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Holland's_Opus

 

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[jellysundae]

You're totally not going insane. Actually you've already said yourself what's going on here, you simply think he's a really cool guy. Congrats to you on having someone who sounds like a really excellent teacher!

 

As the other guys have said, sexual feelings aren't the only ones out there. Disclaimer: some broad generalising to follow! As a species we're way too fixated on sex, so we tend to associate way too many feelings with it, when they're actually nothing to do with it. Bromance being a prime example; guys who are friends hugging each other, then feeling the need to say "no homo" afterwards, stuff like that. Just the fact that a close guy friendship is called a bromance...

 

The ancient Greeks had it sussed out, they figured out that there were many different kinds of love, and only one of them's to do with sex. The others are all to do with different feelings for family, friends, yourself, and all kinds of other stuff.

 

I could tell a little story here, which also involves a teacher coincidentally enough. I met this guy, and he was great and we started dating. He was cute, he was witty and intelligent, he was awesome company, I really loved spending time with him, but something wasn't quite right and I just couldn't figure out what. After a month or so it hit me...I didn't actually fancy him. He was perfect in every other way, but I wasn't sexually attracted to him. We could have been the best friends ever, but yeah that really doesn't work when the guy's into you but you don't feel the same. But that's a whole different kettle of fish, isn't it! lol :laughingsmiley:

 

But it's a similar kind of confusion of feelings to what you're feeling right now, isn't it. So don't freak out because you have these feelings for your teacher, just recognise them for what they are, the admiration that others have said, and enjoy getting the most out of his lessons, he sounds like the kind of teacher who can inspire his students. :yes:

[Dad]

I had a crush on my English teacher senior year. Why is it always the English teachers??? aghh

[Panthersclaw]

I had a crush on my English teacher senior year. Why is it always the English teachers??? aghh

I think it has to do with the power of words, and (most) English teachers have that power. 

[Psmucker3]

I had a crush on my English teacher senior year. Why is it always the English teachers??? aghh

DUDE IT'S ALWAYS ENGLISH...OR ART. idk something about the way they see the world is so beautiful. omg

 

 

Hi guys. So a few weeks ago I posted and admitted to my love for a professor Except he is a lot older and married with two young kids. But, he always gives me comments on my writing such as ,"You're writing is incredible" and "You are a genius". Which is totally great and not creepy at all.

 

We also had a long discussion one time about what I want to do when I graduate, which wasn't weird at all. But sometimes he will say things through email like "I've been thinking about your obvious talents"...not randomly or really out of context but still.

 

And the other day he commented on my appearance but said, "You look better today. You look strong and powerful" and I was caught off guard because I didn't know what he meant. I was not sick or anything before. Was he trying to compliment me in a weird way? Or am I getting ahead of myself?

 

But now, for the past few days he's been acting strange towards me. I never openly express my infatuation for him obviously that would be creepy. And I don't think I make it obvious or anything. I have been wanting to talk to him one on one again to continue our discussion about my future. He even mentioned it about two weeks ago- meeting again to talk. But now I just feel awkward asking him because he seems distant.

 

Am I just completely delusional? I feel like a mess. I am literally in love with my professor!! ugh. and hes MARRIED!! Who am I kidding...I have no chance. Also the class ends next week ughhhh

 

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[S_A]

If he is married and has kids, leave him alone. He is committed to someone else and is a child's dad. Both of my sisters are divorced because their husbands cheated on them. Don't be that side chick.

[circlette]

I feel ya, I remember when I was in high school I developed a huge crush on my history teacher...it was so frustrating because it came out of nowhere and made me feel like a huge dork around him. lol

 

But yeah, the fact that he's your prof and married w/ kids makes him super duper off limits! But crushes in and of themselves aren't bad, you're just experiencing an attraction to someone and you can't help that, right? Just enjoy it for what it is and try to play it cool around him. Chances are you're just a bit self-conscious and are just over-analyzing the situation -- at least that's how it was with me. And if he seems like he's acting weird it might just be because the term is almost over and maybe he's a bit tired or stressed. As for your meeting, just give him a bit of space and casually bring up setting up a time one day at the end of class. 

 

Hopefully that helps a bit! Oh and good luck with end of school stuff! :)

[Aquamentis12]

Well, it could be a total admiration kind of thing, because not just what or how he says things, but also, he's got his niche in life pretty well set. He's not some college guy and he probably comes off as a very stable person. Just make sure you keep things platonic. Especially since he's a family man. Wouldn't do to break a bunch of hearts. As for his comments, you JUST might be a prodigy or something. He could be very honestly talking about his impression about your writing. Perhaps your instincts and insight into whatever type of writing it is that you do.

 

It doesn't sound TOO much like a crush to me, now.. But hey, it COULD evolve into one. My best advice is to keep it OUT of that realm altogether. Even if you say something, and he cools things down, it would mean that things could, and quite possibly, change between you two. And that might RUIN your memories of his teaching and your obviously pleasant conversations with him. Seriously, it sounds like you've got a good rapport with him going. So like others have said, don't make a step that might mess it up. Not ALL profs/teachers can leave such a positive impression on a person. He sounds special in that regard, that he's one of those few who has great insight into his students. Perhaps you two get along so well because you have some similarities, and perhaps that's why you get such a charge talking with him? Because he gets you. The praise? I'd say that's probably legit.

 

So, SLIGHTLY off-topic question, what kind of writing is it that you like to do and that he finds so praise-worthy? If he's got THAT much good stuff to say about your writing, I'm curious if you've got a sample of text. lol The written word can be a neat thing after all. :)

 

Good luck in the class! ^_^

[Midgetlegs]

I know this post is a bit old, but oh well! I feel like it's almost a trope at this point to develop feelings for a college professor. I know I went through it twice myself. Actually, the second time got a little weird because we we're close enough in age and it was kind of a mutual thing. Once I actually got to know him though, all those feelings went right out the window. He was actually a pretty creepy dude. I had definitely been putting him on a pedestal. It's so easy to idealize professors.