midnight_spell360

Midnight it's great to see you posting again. I'm sorry now that I didn't message you but I just didn't know what to say ._. Foolish of me really, I let awkwardness get in the way of giving you support. *hugs*

Are you back with us now, or is this update going to be it for a while yet?

Well, seems like I was "out" for awhile, so I just have to find my 'niche' and get back into it again.

The funeral was more awkward than I expected, seeing pictures of my friend with me when we were together at school events was...bittersweet? Nice but sad. I sat with my classmates- nearly our whole section (there are 4 sections of 25 students to each level, give or take a few) while my mom sat with my Turkish Science Teacher (he had contacted all of the students & drove from OK to TX to be at my friend's funeral) and with his wife & 3 yr. old son, Suliman. Suliman used to have my friend as his babysitter any time he was brought to school events last year AND my friend & I spent many Friday nights, sleeping over at this teacher's home for a special College Prep Program (if the teacher hadn't been Muslim, I don't think my parents would have let me stay at a teacher's house) and we had really 'bonded' with Suliman. Anyway, Suliman kept asking his mother where was my friend, why wasn't he here, why was everybody crying, and why were they hugging my friend's mommy so much? Thankfully in Turkish-my mom said. Some of the 'congregational' ppl kept shooting looks over at Suliman during the 2 hour service, which was 95% in Spanish (I could only get a word here & there, my mom explained more to us afterward), and at the end of the service, the little guy was kind of cranky. When one church member made a comment about small children shouldn't attend funerals (in Spanish) my mom turned around and said very loudly in English, "Don't you think it was amazing how well behaved (my friend's name)'s 3 year old son for such a long time? I mean, a 2 hour service after traveling all the way from OK? Just a wonderful job, right?" Then she turned back around to walk with my teacher's wife & child, not waiting for their response. 

Another awkward thing for me was so much music, they even played the piano & drums through their prayers, which made it hard to figure out when they were praying. For my mother, she had been formally excommunicated from the Baptist religion (and the Catholic one, for my grandmother divorcing her first husband who was a drug addict, and the Baptist one, for my grandmother "consorting with the devil to speak in tongues (she had started going to Pentecostal services)", and when we got back in the car, she explained what the "pitch" was at the end- tying my friend's death into a very long and drawn out  "attempt" to make non-Christians consider their eternal destination, which I could tell she was trying to be fair in presenting their words but at home she said, "When that pastor told those grieving parents that they might be sad today but think how happy & how much you will be celebrating when you are reunited with him and that their son would really want un-Believers to be brought to salvation through his death, if need be-I had a hard time convincing myself to stay seated & not punch that guy in the nose for what I considered was a very cheap shot at their expense!" 

Wow...religion in America is just...so FRAUGHT. Little Suliman sounds positively adorable though, no doubt because he's got such good parents. That teacher sounds like someone who's the perfect kind of person to help the future generations learn about life.

And another example of your mum being a total bad-ass!

I truly can't BELIEVE that a church official would find it ethically ok to use a funeral as a means of recruitment and to basically shame those of a different religion. -.- But as I say, "fraught", that's hopefully euphemistic enough to not offend. A funeral's meant to give you closure, not leave you with further bad and unhappy feelings to work through. : /