The Ladies Room

[Rae]

If you have to THINK you were in love, then you weren't. I'm 19, and I don't mean to generalize, but amongst myself and friends that's generally what I've come to learn. I had thought I had loved someone several times before but once I met someone I ACTUALLY loved, I realized that the others were just a genuinely large amount of like and caring. I have no doubt I will truly love others in my life, but when you love someone you know. There's not really any second guessing :)

[Cornflakes]

I am a hopeless romantic, and it always makes me happy to hear stories like Rae's...a real love story, and not this "love" that young people think they have where it's merely infatuation with someone you really don't have anything in common with and end up fighting all the time and having this dramatized "I hate how much I love you" type of relationship that ends bitterly...

 

Haha, anyway, I've had a few of those too.

 

I honestly think that young people shouldn't even try to marry someone until they are at least 30. Love when you're young is so different than love when you are older. Sure, the basics are there, like infatuation and being all smoochy and such, but when you're older there's so many more dimensions to love that you just can't experience yet when you're young.

 

I'm totally rambling because I'm hungry, and I don't even know if I had a point in the first place.

[-Ryan]

I'm a hopeless romantic too, it's one of my best kept secrets. -shifty eyes- :P

 

but when you're older there's so many more dimensions to love that you just can't experience yet when you're young.

I DISAGREE WITH THAT!

I just don't have a valid point yet...

[Divya Bean]

I'm a hopeless romantic too, it's one of my best kept secrets. -shifty eyes- :P

 

 

I DISAGREE WITH THAT!

I just don't have a valid point yet...

 

*laughs hysterically* So now you are advertising it all over the internet?! :P

 

I dont think people can be in love over the internet. They just dont know the person enough. Especially when they have only seen a picture and not even video chatted.

[-Ryan]

*laughs hysterically* So now you are advertising it all over the internet?! :P

 

I dont think people can be in love over the internet. They just dont know the person enough. Especially when they have only seen a picture and not even video chatted.

 

 

No, i'm only advertising it in the ladies room.

...

Wait... xD

 

I disagree with that too. -nodnod-

[Cornflakes]

*laughs hysterically* So now you are advertising it all over the internet?! :P

 

I dont think people can be in love over the internet. They just dont know the person enough. Especially when they have only seen a picture and not even video chatted.

 

Absolutely incorrect. My husband and I met online. We fell madly in love and it was even better when we finally met in person.

Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean that others can't.

[Divya Bean]

Absolutely incorrect. My husband and I met online. We fell madly in love and it was even better when we finally met in person.

Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean that others can't.

 

It's just my opinion. I can't deny there are exceptions (1/8 couples married every year met online!), but I do think that it has many disadvantages. How could you trust the person? I don't think knowing them over the Internet constitutes "knowing" them. Of course, if both people are honestly interested, it definitely could work.

[hrtbrk]

RANDOM STORY:

 

In Jr. High school, I took a women's empowerment class and one of the topics we had to cover was how to safely go on a date/meet men.

 

Anyway, the teacher went on and on and on about how internet relationships are horrible and bad. I went back to that school a few years later to find out she married some guy from the internet LOL

Then I ran into her after I graduated and she got a divorce, said she should have listened to her own advice about meeting someone online.

 

THEN I ran into her at the grocery store in October - she's engaged again... to a guy she met online >.<

[Spritzie]

I met my husband online, and we've been married for 1.5 years now. We're extremely happy. There's always exceptions. You just have to be careful and make sure you know who you're getting involved with. If you don't, then things could end badly. (But then again, that isn't restricted to just online.)

[Viridian]

I met my husband online, and we've been married for 1.5 years now. We're extremely happy. There's always exceptions. You just have to be careful and make sure you know who you're getting involved with. If you don't, then things could end badly. (But then again, that isn't restricted to just online.)

 

Same here. I met my boyfriend online and we've been together for 3 years now without any problem. You ask how you can trust the other person, Divya, well simply by doing so. Relations online wouldn't exist without trust, and if it comes from both sides nothing will go wrong.

 

Then again, we don't just do a picture. We fell in love after having so much fun over random webcam chats, and quickly noticed it was more than just a crush ^^

[Sakurabelle]

You can make bad choices about people online just as easily as you can make bad choices about people face to face. I think it's easier to make bad choices online, but that doesn't mean it has to happen. Half the time that my husband and I were dating and the entire time we were engaged was long distance. We survived with phone conversations, online chat, and emails. Now that we're married (just over six months!) I feel like the time we spent apart really strengthened our relationship. I know from previous relationships that "being all smoochy" (as yukon put it :wink: ) can hide a lot of problems in a relationship. Talking online takes that out of the equation and you concentrate a lot more on what you have in common, what their personality is like, and whether you really click. Granted, the absence of voice tone and facial expression can take a lot out of a conversation, but that's what video chat is for!

[Rae]

I agree with Rachel about the love when you're older thing but only to an extent. Yes, there are many more dimensions when you're older, and it bothers me immensely when KIDS are "in love" and "engaged" on facebook at the age of 14 or 15. Then I look back at it, and when I was 13 I was SO much more mature. It's like this newer generation, and again I'm generalizing but I do not mean the entire generation, just is not as mature as even the people born 5-6 years before them. It's like those born in the late 80s/early 90s (as in before 93) were the last ones with common sense. And even the kids MY age are just totally stupid -_- No - you do not love someone within 5 days of being with them, and NO you do not love someone just because they're totally hot and on the football team. But with that said, I do believe that it is possible to know love at a younger age. My friends met each other when they were 9, fell in love around 14 or 15, got married at 18, had a child at 19 and another one on the way at the age of 22. I would NEVER do that, it's just insane, but the things they've been through and how they've grown together proves how much they truly love each other. Like a real life Cory and Topanga.

 

Then I have friends who find the whole "16 and Pregnant" which just over glamorizes teenage pregnancy and makes it look MUCH easier than it is, and then my friends end up pregnant at 17-19 with no relationship and just automatically thinks it will be as easy as the tv show. Which of course, it's not. And I'd feel bad for them if they hadn't been so stupid in the first place. Seriously, I graduated with 10 pregnant girls, and the number is rising each year.

 

As for the love over the internet thing - it is definitely possible. To me, love is not about looks it's about the person. And for those that believe that if you don't see them, how do you know they are who they say they are - well, it's also possible to love just knowing someone. And sure it helps when you're guy/girl is totally gorgeous and dreamy - but most times they aren't. You just find them extremely attractive because of the other aspects of them as a person. I think love over the internet is risky, sure, but it's not exactly blasphemous. (I love that word hahahaha). The way I see it, if you can have a conversation with someone online, and really get to know them, providing they aren't lying about everything they tell you, and you feel as though you can tell them anything and you sit up all night talking to them. Well, isn't that the same thing as love in person just with out the face to face time. And then if they do video chat with you - then it's even better. Then you know they are who they say they are, you can have great conversations witht them, and have fun interacting with them, and there isn't that added crap about a "real life" relationship like meeting each others parents and awkward first dates. Who honestly wouldn't mind skipping that part? ;)

 

My Aunt fell in love with a guy she met online. It's a rare instance, and they've been happily together for 8 years or so now. Maybe more, I can't remember how old I was when they first met. He was from New Zealand, and she's from the US and they "met" in a POGO game room. Which was like, playing backgammon online HAHA. He only private messaged her because he saw on her profile that she worked with special needs people and he thought that was lovely. They talked for EVER before the agreed to meet. And now all this time later, they're still together.

 

You can make bad choices about people online just as easily as you can make bad choices about people face to face. I think it's easier to make bad choices online, but that doesn't mean it has to happen. Half the time that my husband and I were dating and the entire time we were engaged was long distance. We survived with phone conversations, online chat, and emails. Now that we're married (just over six months!) I feel like the time we spent apart really strengthened our relationship. I know from previous relationships that "being all smoochy" (as yukon put it :wink: ) can hide a lot of problems in a relationship. Talking online takes that out of the equation and you concentrate a lot more on what you have in common, what their personality is like, and whether you really click. Granted, the absence of voice tone and facial expression can take a lot out of a conversation, but that's what video chat is for!

 

^ And I completely agree with that.

 

Some of my best friendships are online friendships. I met a girl through a boy I met at college, she was his girlfriend, and we hit it off instantly. We "met" because we were talking on one of his Facebook statuses for 200 comments, and we just kept talking. Then we finally video chatted with her boyfriend. The three of us, and it wasn't all awkward because I was already good friends with him. We spent two nights up all night together talking and laughing. I don't trust ANYONE, but I trusted her. We shared things with each other I've barely told anyone, and vice versa. We talked for a LONG time, and even when the boyfriend said it was awkward that I was friends with his girlfriend and blah blah blah we still remained friends. We called ourselves "imaginary best friends" because we had never met in person. Then she came to visit him and it was the most incredible face to face experience ever HAHAHA. We hugged and jumped up and down. We stayed friends through when they broke up, and got back together. She taught me so much about myself as a person and the world. She's an incredible girl, and the only reason, I believe, that we don't talk now is because she got back together and he hates me now and always found it weird that we talked.

 

To me, being in a relationship is the EXACT same thing I had with her - only in my case a boy and a physical attraction. Which I have :D

[Spritzie]

Relationships in general are hard. My sister had a long distance. They dated for 2 years, and got married. The marriage lasted less than 1 year. The guy lied and faked the kind of person he was. That was nearly 8 years ago, and she still is recovering from the experience.

 

It just seems like it's harder now a days. My mom is the only of her siblings to not divorce. One of my uncles is on marriage 3. Where as my parents have been married for almost 30 years.

[Sakurabelle]

Relationships in general are hard. My sister had a long distance. They dated for 2 years, and got married. The marriage lasted less than 1 year. The guy lied and faked the kind of person he was. That was nearly 8 years ago, and she still is recovering from the experience.

 

It just seems like it's harder now a days. My mom is the only of her siblings to not divorce. One of my uncles is on marriage 3. Where as my parents have been married for almost 30 years.

 

I definitely agree that relationships are hard. Regardless whether it's a relationship with friends or a love interest, they take work. Love is a choice as much as it is a feeling. You can't just coast through a marriage with feelings. You have to continue to work on that relationship and get to know your spouse as they change and as you change. Every bump in the road is an opportunity to work together or to tear each other apart.

 

Spritzie, I'm really sorry about your sister. Heart matters like that can take a long time to heal.

[Mazzew]

Relationships in general are hard. My sister had a long distance. They dated for 2 years, and got married. The marriage lasted less than 1 year. The guy lied and faked the kind of person he was. That was nearly 8 years ago, and she still is recovering from the experience.

 

It just seems like it's harder now a days. My mom is the only of her siblings to not divorce. One of my uncles is on marriage 3. Where as my parents have been married for almost 30 years.

 

 

My ex boyfriend used to fake liking what I liked as far as musical and personal taste go, I thought he'd be the right guy but then a month later I saw right through him.

[Masaryk]

When I met my husband, in 1997, most people didn't have internet access at home. :P Those that did, had to deal with terrible dial-up. I was not one of those people. I met my husband through mutual friends. He had just moved to my town and was attending the high school I graduated from, and since many of the people I hung around with were still attending high school, he got to know a bunch of them. We were all part of the same Dungeons & Dragons gaming group (which I had to try for years to be accepted in. Stupid sexist boys! :angry: But that's a different story.)

 

Anyway, when we met, I was in a serious relationship with another one of the group, so I had the wonderful privilege of becoming really good friends with my husband for years before dating him. Needless to say, the other relationship failed.

 

We didn't rush into marriage at all, either. We were together for 7 years before we got married. Now we've been happily married for 3 years. All of our old friends have moved away, but we still play Dungeons & Dragons together almost every weekend. I really think that having the one really solid mutual hobby is important to the success of our relationship.

[livvy]

@Meghan: That D&D thing is really cute, in a dorky kind of way. I'd almost call it adorkable. ^_^

 

I have very little experience with relationships, as I've never been in one myself. In fact, most of my experience with relationships is second-hand, listening to heartbroken girlfriends or crushing guy friends. (This may be why I've avoided the dating game for so long. =P ) I'm just waiting for... I don't even know. But I'm sure I'll meet the right guy someday, somehow. :)

[Divya Bean]

I have very little experience with relationships, as I've never been in one myself. In fact, most of my experience with relationships is second-hand, listening to heartbroken girlfriends or crushing guy friends. (This may be why I've avoided the dating game for so long. =P ) I'm just waiting for... I don't even know. But I'm sure I'll meet the right guy someday, somehow. :)

 

That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard! ^_^ livvy, you will find him someday.

[Sakurabelle]

I have very little experience with relationships, as I've never been in one myself. In fact, most of my experience with relationships is second-hand, listening to heartbroken girlfriends or crushing guy friends. (This may be why I've avoided the dating game for so long. =P ) I'm just waiting for... I don't even know. But I'm sure I'll meet the right guy someday, somehow. :)

 

Right on! Broken hearts are no fun. I'm sure the right guy is out there waiting for you too. :D

[Aysh]

I agree. I had my new friends from my new college over the other day and they looked at my top sites and Sylvester was like "WHOA! NEOPETS!! YOU STILL PLAY THAT?!" and at first I didn't want to admit it because it was hard enough to make friends but I was like, "Yeah. I do. And it's still as much fun as it was 10 years ago!" And at first they kind of laughed and then he admitted that he used to love Neopets and he got all excited as we talked about certain pets/petpets. I think they're all just kind of afraid to admit it.

 

I've definitely seen a lot of guys. It seems a majority of them are in it for the NPs and avatars.

 

The site seems to have become more girly :)

[Cornflakes]

LOL yeah, I definitely did not mean to endorse online romance for everyone. I have found in my advanced age that people are generally full of crap. And what better method of hiding your flaws than internet dating?

 

When I told my old boss (we are still like BFFs) that my internet love was coming to our teeny Tennessee town to live with me, he got very upset and said "THAT MAN IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY BUILDING." I was like wow, Ernie hardly ever gets mad!! Naturally I asked him what the big deal was, and he told me that his sister met a man online and fell in love, and then he came down to move in with her and she realized he had posted a fake pic, but let him move in anyway. Then he quit his job and moved his mother in too, and started doing drugs and getting arrested for shoplifting and such! I was like omg! I understand now! haha :) But then Kenny (who is adored by everyone) met my boss and of course Ernie fell in love with him too, so everything turned out ok.

 

Anyway, finding your soulmate online is like hitting the lottery. Literally.

[Rae]

Ouch, that's no fun. BUt the way I look at it, even more people lie in person. I trust such a small, select amount of people, and it takes a LOT to build trust with me, because almost everyone I know has lied to me. In small ways, big ways, disastrous ways, in trying to help, blah blah blah. The human race sucks 83% of the time. So if you find one person that DOESN'T suck, online or not, roll with it.

[-Ryan]

Is it bad that I just spent the last 10 minutes reading through this page and going "AWWW! :wub_anim: " at nearly everything I read? Probably.-shrug-

 

Anyway, that sucks about your sister Spritzie, sorry about that. :(

 

@Livvy: I'm sure you'll find somebody. -nodnod- :)

 

Lol, that is kinda awesome, masaryk. xD

 

 

[Cornflakes]

Before you find out that your mate (that you met in person or online or whatever) is a soul-crushing deviant, love is so nice. :) Fresh infatuations are my heroin. When you can't stop thinking about someone, and you get all nervous when you're around them, and when they tell you they feel the same way and your heart goes spastic...yep, if it were possible to just have that and then chuck someone right after the feeling dies, that would be awesome. Of course I'm married so this doesn't apply to me. I'm just speaking from past experiences. :)

[saborewind]

Before you find out that your mate (that you met in person or online or whatever) is a soul-crushing deviant, love is so nice. :) Fresh infatuations are my heroin. When you can't stop thinking about someone, and you get all nervous when you're around them, and when they tell you they feel the same way and your heart goes spastic...yep, if it were possible to just have that and then chuck someone right after the feeling dies, that would be awesome. Of course I'm married so this doesn't apply to me. I'm just speaking from past experiences. :)

I love that feeling too. I work very hard to try to keep that feeling with my fiance. Then again he and i live two hours apart. So I think that helps to keep things fresh, because we dont see each other everyday.