Getting made fun of because of my clothes

[Canton]

I get laughed at and made fun of at school because of the winter clothes I wear to walk to school. My parents are very worried that I’ll get sick if I don’t dress very warmly, so I have to wear a couple of huge winter coats, bib style snow pants, and massive boots. I’m tired of getting made fun of.

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[queenofthebats]

Maybe you could pack some extra clothes to change into when you get to school?
Do you have a locker or anything at the school that you could store your winter clothes into after you change so that you don't have to carry them around with you all day?

It sucks that people are being mean to you over something so trivial.  I'm sorry. But your parents seem to be coming from a good place. 
Have you talked to them about people making fun of you for it?
Maybe you can come to a compromise.

[Canton]

Just now, queenofthebats said:

Maybe you could pack some extra clothes to change into when you get to school?
Do you have a locker or anything at the school that you could store your winter clothes into after you change so that you don't have to carry them around with you all day?

It sucks that people are being mean to you over something so trivial.  I'm sorry. But your parents seem to be coming from a good place. 
Have you talked to them about people making fun of you for it?
Maybe you can come to a compromise.

I take all my heavy coats and snow gear when I get to school, but when I get to school wearing all that I get laughed at, and then again when I have to put everything back on.

[queenofthebats]

I see. It's definitely a hard situation.
How appropriate is it for the weather where you live?
Are you having to walk to school and therefore need the heavier clothes?

Again, if it's absolutely ridiculous that you're having to wear all of that for the situation, have you tried discussing it with your parents?
And who are the people making fun of you? Are they your friends, or are they strangers?

[charelan]

3 hours ago, queenofthebats said:

Again, if it's absolutely ridiculous that you're having to wear all of that for the situation, have you tried discussing it with your parents?
And who are the people making fun of you? Are they your friends, or are they strangers?

Yeah, it's worth a conversation with your parents for sure. Maybe you don't need all of that stuff? Have you been sick before? Is there a reason why they are so worried? If they know how much this is bothering you, maybe they will work with you to find a solution. Maybe you could agree on less layers depending on temperature or find an alternate way to school, like getting dropped off or something. If they knew how much it meant to you they maybe they'd be willing to go out of their way to make something else work. 

On the other hand... if what you are wearing is totally appropriate, is there any way you could turn it around? Like just say, 'yeah I hate being cold in winter and I'd rather look silly than get cold!' and laugh along? I'm sorry, maybe that's not good advice, I'm not sure. I just know that I purposefully dress like I'm going on a cold weather expedition (bc I hate being cold and I worry about getting stranded somehow) and I rock my giant winter boots all day long... Then again, I am at work, not school and so I get that that makes it different. It's just sometimes when people don't get the desired reaction from teasing they will get bored and stop. If you act like you don't care that might be enough.

I really wish there was a super easy answer. I'd like to think the ppl teasing you are just poking and don't actually know how much it bothers you; like just trying to be goofy/ get a laugh but not straight up mean on purpose.. If that's the case and they are your friends, maybe you could talk to them about it? On the other hand, if you suspect it's totally malicious bc they are just jerks then I wouldn't recommend that. I'd be more inclined to just try as best as you can to ignore them... while keeping in mind that it's absolutely silly and NOTHING for you to feel bad about in any way, shape, or form. I'd like to think that even if they are just being mean - in a few years this will just be a blip that barely gets a second thought from you. And they'll be the ones who feel like idiots looking back once they grow up a bit. And in the meantime you will be warm  

[lokiswolf]

Sometimes people tease other people to make themselves feel better, sometimes people tease other people when they are playing around and trying to be friendly, and some people are just mean.  You have to decide what kind of teasing they are doing.  Just ignore the mean people, but try to be friendly back with the other ones.  Tell them, "yes, my mom is a little over the top, sorry guys, this is not worth fighting her about.  I get "even" other ways, haha!"  

Almost all people have things in their life that they don't want to do, get teased about, and feel embarrassed about.  Even adults.  Especially adults actually, because we are supposed to be independent and "know better" than to do the things our friends tease us about.  I bet if your mom is getting you to wear warm clothes, she makes your dad do it too?  He just is way past what people think about him, so it doesnt bother him anymore.  

These people will not be in your life forever.  I, too, got teased when i was a kid about my clothes, but we were poor. I didn't have nice things, about the only thing I had going for me was that I was a different size than the rest of the kids in my family, so most of my clothes were new, or handmade, and not hand-me-downs. But we were strong.  My family loved me, and were there for me, and I always knew it.  And family isn't always about blood.  The people that teased me are long out of my life, but guess what, the people that understood are still a part of my life.  I still have friends that I made 40 years ago as a part of my "family".  We have always been there for each other, and I look around at some of the people that teased me when I was a kid and they are lonely adults with big gaps missing where family should be.  I feel sad for them.  

Be warm, appreciate the fact that your parents love you, and look around at the kids that are teasing you and wonder if their parents love them with the same power your parents love you.  Sometimes you can tell right away that those kids are just not from a family unit that is as strong as yours.  

[Firestorm7337]

Have you been "teased" about anything before? Bullies always need a target and you are being bullied. I know it hurts and you should talk to someone - anyone. It would be great if you can talk to your parents but if not, what about quietly talking to a trusted teacher or guidance counselor. My son was bullied for being overweight (a nice way of saying fat) He didn't talk to anyone but one day he decided enough was enough and when someone called him "fat boy" he calmly said in a very loud voice "I'm not fat - I'm King Size!" The kids laughed and started calling him King Size. He's an adult now and people still call him King Size. 

Please know that it does get better. It's easy to say ignore them or don't let it bother you but when you're the one that's being hurt that's not so easy to do.  Just remember that even though you don't know us and we may not be able to do anything, we're here to listen and we care about you. 

[jellysundae]

Bullying at school's tough. It's especially tough because we, as adults, are past that stage and away from that mindset. I remember receiving advice from adults when I was at school and I was always thinking in my head "I can't do THAT!!! " The very idea was horrifying.

I got bullied at school, a lot, I basically just ignored it. No that's not accurate, I wish I had been able to just shrug it off. I didn't react to it, but that's only because I didn't know HOW to react. I think my stony silence egged some of the people on, but they all gave up eventually as they got no response. I do wish I'd had some funny come-backs at my disposal then though, that does seem to be the way to successfully diffuse the situation a lot of the time. Laughing with people at the hideous snow boots my mum forced me to wear would have helped a great deal, I think. @Firestorm7337's son totally aced it.

But most of us are WAY too awkward and self-conscious to have wit on hand at that age, sadly.  People do grow out of bullying. I was thinking about the clothes thing - that's one of the things I was picked on for in 2 different schools - and I imagined the same things being said to someone in a work environment and the first response that came into my head was, "Really? What are you, 12?" which shows that this is something most people leave behind once they leave school, AND, that as an adult you can brush this behaviour off.

And you know why?

The bully's no longer the biggest/meanest etc. once they're out in the working world. They're now the smallest in a world full of adults and the roles have suddenly been wholey reversed... sweet karma.

[sunny098]

I don't know how old you are, but I actually got bullied quite a bit back in grade school. Unfortunately I don't have too much tips to give, but I can tell you once you're in college no one will care, so I guess that is something to look forward to.

[RealRed]

I feel for you. I got bullied pretty hard in middle school, but it got easier in high school. I grew up poor and I always had old crappy clothes, and so I started customizing them myself to look grungy in a cool way, rip the collars off and hang them off the shoulder, make "fashionable holes" or paint splatter them, etc. I thought it made me look better but I really think it mostly it built up my own confidence to own it, which is the key. Other folks on the thread are saying to laugh with them, and honestly it is the best lesson for life far past school. There are people in the world that are insecure with themselves and will look to take it out on others. One kid said my dad must have been stupid when I told him my dad liked to watch Spongebob with me, but I learned later his dad didn't spend any time with him because he was always at work for some big business. I bet he would have loved for his dad to have the time to watch something with him. Just know that your parents only do this because they are loving you in their own way, and that not all kids have parents that look out for their kid like that. Embracing it and brushing it off will disarm anyone trying to bully you. 

 

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