Not a party girl and ok with it?

[Psmucker3]

Hey guys. I'm overseas at the moment and my new roommate is around my age and we get along well. However, she is a big party girl and wants to go out nearly every night Thursday-Sunday. I just can't keep up. I enjoy a drink perhaps one night a week at most. When I tell her I don't feel up to going out she will throw a fit and won't take no for an answer. It's beyond frustrating to rationalize with her, especially when she's had a few drinks in her. I never had this problem before, considering I am a fairly "fun" person and like to socialize and make new friends. But I just can't even with the party girls. 

 

Although I am only overseas for a short time, I  don't think that justifies the urge to party hard until 4 am every weekend night. Am I wrong? 

 

Thoughts? xx

[Duma]

Nope, you're not wrong at all. Everyone should do what they like and everyone is different. Some people get recharged by going out but for others it drains them.

 

Maybe you should have a little -sober- chat with her about it and make deals. I mean like that you can both agree with it. For instance: if she wants to go out four days and you one day a week, agree on 2 to 3. Also say what day(s) you don't mind it being 4 AM, and say that the other days you would like to be back at ... O'clock.

 

If you get a schedule where both of you agree with, you can throw it in her face whenever she throws a tantrum.

 

She should accept your wishes too, and you should never do things you don't want to.

Well, except like going to school/work etc. Some things have to be done even if you don't want to but this is not one of those. You get my drift.

[lakecat]

You'll be glad you stayed in when you look in the mirror in a few years. She will look a lot older. They never learn in time.

Time to get a new roommate before she talks you into going out "just this once" and something happens.

[decchild]

I personally would get a room change or switch dorms, if possible. If not, just firmly say no and explain why. 

 

My second yr roommate at uni went out Tues-Sun night to drink (I still have NO IDEA how she did it). In fact, the first time she introduced herself to me, the first words out of her mouth were "I love partying." I'm a total homebody, plus I was majoring in two fields, so I needed my sleep. Eventually her coming in and out at all hours of the night along with my light sleeping habits ended up making me lose my temper and we got into a fight and she moved out. 

 

So don't let it happen to you! Set ground rules and be firm! 

[fishstick013]

I've never had roommates, so I can't exactly relate to the situation.  One thing you could try (if compromise doesn't work) is finding ways to be gone when she typically gets ready to leave to go out.  That might be hard, being overseas.  Maybe you could find other students (?) that don't enjoy going out as often and spend more time doing things with them.  If there are cafes you like, you could maybe visit one of those for a couple hours in the evening so perhaps your roommate will have left to go out already.

 

Hopefully you don't have to change roommates/rooms just because her zealous partying is ... overzealous.

[Panthersclaw]

I'm not a party girl either, I prefer staying in and watching my favorite shows/ playing neopets then going out. I'm 20 so I don't go out to drink since I can't go to a bar anyway. At parties I'm a total wall flower. My advice is to talk to your friend (preferably when she's sober) and as everyone else has said make a schedule with her. Be firm with your position on not going out 4 nights a week no matter how much of a fit she makes.

[phoenixgal]

I went out with my party-girl roommate once. I was miserable and I made sure she knew it, wound up getting a train back early. Hard partying was and still is NOT my thing. I was such a downer that she didn't ask me again.  :rock:

 

As for your question, no, you're not wrong. Although it's true that being in a foreign country means new experiences, there are so many wonderful ways to do it! When I was studying overseas, I spent my free time travelling when I didn't need to study, making new friends and getting involved with clubs in University. Yes, I've gone clubbing and partied occasionally but that was with friends and we mostly spent our time chatting and dancing together, drinking was done socially and none of us were/wanted to be blackout drunk. (We wanted to remember the night after all.)

 

So, I agree with the others, set ground rules and be firm in your NOs. If you're only there for a short time, find ways to not be around when she usually leaves. But, honestly, maybe it's time to start looking for a new place to live if she ever goes overboard.