Psmucker3

Hi Guys. 

Warning: This is a somewhat rambling and depressing post. But bless you all who are willing to continue reading x 

 

So this past July, I started taking a fancy to a guy I had known for awhile through mutual friends but had never thought was cute or anything. But after getting to know him a little better I realized that he was actually super sweet and down-to-earth. I am used to guys who use me for their convenience and then essentially get rid of me when it's time for them to move on. This guy—Luke—was different. Although he was not the usual guy I would go for, we clicked so well and had a great time together always. 

Literally the day after we first officially hung out alone, I had to leave for India for a month. During that time, we talked a lot and I was surprised that we stayed strong through that time. When I came back, things took off pretty quickly. It felt like we were doing well. Both of us agreed that we did not want a serious relationship but eventually he said that he would like to start dating within a few months time...

 

But... I ended up moving two hours away for work. At first, I did not think the distance would matter. And he constantly reassured me that everything would be ok and we would make every effort to visit each other. Then suddenly within the past week he called me to tell me that he can't do it and that he needs to time to "focus on his school". But he goes out and parties all the time with his friends. 

 

I really don't know what to do. I want to win him back so bad. Am I crazy? 

thank you all so much. I have carefully read and taken your advice into account. It will be a long road to recovery but I will get better everyday. 

 

x

My first boyfriend was a guy named Bailey. We dated when I was a senior in high school, he was a junior. Looking back, our relationship had always been pretty unstable. He was battling anxiety and depression issues at the beginning of our relationship, which took a heavy emotional toll on both of us. But, I vowed to stick through it with him. We were so "in love". Our friends would always tease us and say we were stuck in a permanent honeymoon stage. Most people probably thought we were annoying, but we didn't care. We were together all the time. We were each other's best friend. I told him everything. I trusted him more than anyone. I suppose I wasn't necessarily the best girlfriend. I never cheated on him, but I did kiss another guy while me and Bailey were on a break (but we were still kind of talking). But, no matter what, Bailey still gave me second chances. And I gave him second chances too. We fought a lot. It got worse and worse as our relationship progressed, especially when I went off to college a year later. We lasted for my entire first year at university, but eventually I ended things. 

 

I guess I just wanted to see what else was out there...if you know what I mean. Bailey was my first and only boyfriend. I was only 18 when we broke up.

 

Now, I will soon be 22 in a few months, and I am still not over him. Since we broke up almost 3 years ago, we have been on and off constantly. We have both gone out with other people. I was even interested in his best friend for awhile. But, after every single guy I talk to and eventually end things with, I always find myself going back to Bailey. I often find myself comparing other guys to him as well. 

 

I studied abroad last year for about 5 months and during that time, he kept in touch. When I came back this past summer, we both happened to be in our hometown at the same time. We hung out a few times, and it felt like we were dating again. I started to fall for him all over again. And I pictured us getting back together. I brought up my feelings to him a few times, but he always kind of dismissed them. That should have been a red flag. But, we continued to hang out. 

 

Long story (not so) short...a few months ago I started to feel like he was really using me. I helped him with his homework and even cooked him dinner on multiple occasions. Yet, I felt like he only wanted to hang out when it was convienent for him. I cried about it to him. He didn't even seem to care. I finally ended up texting his friend and asking if it was even worth me pursuing Bailey anymore. He said no and gave his reasoning, which made sense. 

 

I decided to not text Bailey for a week to see if he would hit me up. But, he never did. A week after we stopped hanging out, his friend told me Bailey had mentioned another girl. Now, about 4 months after this incident, Bailey is dating her. They go on vacation together and might even live together. I deleted my social media because I can't stand to see them together. 

 

I really think I messed up. I sound crazy. I am so frustrated...why can't I just get over him after all this time?! Do I even love him? I know people are right in telling me I need to just get over him and move on. But I hate that answer. Maybe because it's the truth. But I still sometimes have a faint feeling of hope somewhere in the back of my mind, and it's telling me "Things will work out". But then again, that must just be the hopeless romantic in me. 

 

Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read this pathetic story. I really really appreciate it. I am really kind of in a dark place mentally right now. I know I will be ok. But, I just don't know when that will be. 

 

x

I had a crush on my English teacher senior year. Why is it always the English teachers??? aghh

DUDE IT'S ALWAYS ENGLISH...OR ART. idk something about the way they see the world is so beautiful. omg

 

 

Hi guys. So a few weeks ago I posted and admitted to my love for a professor Except he is a lot older and married with two young kids. But, he always gives me comments on my writing such as ,"You're writing is incredible" and "You are a genius". Which is totally great and not creepy at all.

 

We also had a long discussion one time about what I want to do when I graduate, which wasn't weird at all. But sometimes he will say things through email like "I've been thinking about your obvious talents"...not randomly or really out of context but still.

 

And the other day he commented on my appearance but said, "You look better today. You look strong and powerful" and I was caught off guard because I didn't know what he meant. I was not sick or anything before. Was he trying to compliment me in a weird way? Or am I getting ahead of myself?

 

But now, for the past few days he's been acting strange towards me. I never openly express my infatuation for him obviously that would be creepy. And I don't think I make it obvious or anything. I have been wanting to talk to him one on one again to continue our discussion about my future. He even mentioned it about two weeks ago- meeting again to talk. But now I just feel awkward asking him because he seems distant.

 

Am I just completely delusional? I feel like a mess. I am literally in love with my professor!! ugh. and hes MARRIED!! Who am I kidding...I have no chance. Also the class ends next week ughhhh

 

This post has been edited by a member of staff (Rune Valentine) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Please stick to one topic instead of creating multiples. I have merged this post with your original one

Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

Hi all!! First off, thanks for taking the time to read my post....

 

So I am a writing major in college & have this one teacher who is amazing. He's NOT hot at all....in fact I'm pretty sure he's maybe around 40, gray hair, glasses, short, has a wife & two young kids, etc. You get the jist....

 

Anyways....I literally think he is the coolest person ever. I'm not even attracted to him at all in a weird, sexual way. Everything he says is just so poetic and he look at life and literature through such a beautiful lens. 

 

Is this normal or am I going insane

 

 

Hey guys. Sorry but this is somewhat of a vent post...

 

I think I have OCD, but I have never been tested. Recently, in the past year, it's been getting worse. I am a perfectionist to the point where it makes me go crazy. It makes me anxious. And sometimes I get really depressed. Days when I feel lazy and feel like doing nothing I feel like a worthless human being and beat myself up about it. I also have random habits I can't stop...this sounds so bizarre but like twitching my nose. Ugh!!! What should I do?!! I feel like I'm going crazy. 

Hi all. I was recently diagnosed with Poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Basically it throws my horomones all off whack. It sucks because right now I'm abroad and the disorder makes me have horrible mood swings. Sometimes I will have energy, but most days I am tired and all of a sudden don't feel like doing anything. It can make me depressed and anxious. What should I do? 

Hi guys. I just want to write this post because for the first time in a long time I am beginning to feel at peace. Guys, if you are feeling in a rut with life and it seems as if you will NEVER get out of it, please just listen to this:

Life is all about ups and downs (this took me so long to even begin to come to terms with) and life will never be perfect. But you can learn to change your mindset and cultivate a peaceful mind by taking time for yourself... slowing down and seriously pushing yourself to go on walks, meditate, at least once a day.

I promise sometimes the best medicine in life is talking with a dear friend, reflecting upon what you are thankful for, walking in the park, eating healthy, and taking care of yourself. This do not mean giving up on your goals and losing your drive for success.

Personally, I went through a battle with depression last semester in school and hit a complete wall and burned out. Now, I am really analyzing how to improve the situation and by recharging my mind, I am able to see the bigger picture in life.

It is a long process to improving mental health, but I promise no one is perfect and I still stumble many times along the way. But learning to embrace the crappier parts of life can really help you through. Stop getting worked up about the little things! Spilled coffee on your new white pants? It is OK. Yes, it may suck in the moment, but surely you will forget about this within a week's time. Going through a heartbreak? This will take a lot of healing time, but you must accept this. It is ok to wallow for a bit in your sorrows, but please get outside and begin to do something about it. Even if you take ONE step towards this mentality, practicing whenever you can will slowly lead to big results! Spilled that coffee on your white pants and still beating yourself up about? Say to yourself...It will be ok. Even if you do not believe this in the moment, eventually your thoughts will change and you WILL believe.

Similarly, for the longest time I would spend money (excessively) on pointless things, and was completely caught up in consumerism. It is hard not to be, especially as a fashion design student. I would mentally beat myself up for hours after making an unnecessary purchase. Now, I am implementing slow but steady changes. For example, buying groceries and making meals at home, making a budget. And I realize now that you can seriously live off a very minimal amount of clothing. Even if you love fashion, you can own a few, chic, nicely made pieces and mix and match according to your personal style. You will feel like your sense of fashion is even BETTER because you won't find yourself overwhelmed with outfit choices. Although it is important to try to stick within a budget, don't beat yourself up for sometimes breaking it. Life is about learning. You can't get back the money, but you CAN improve.

For me, these are really big steps. And often times I overlook the great leaps I have already taken. Every once in awhile, look back, reflect, and praise yourself because you are slowly but surely improving! My next goal is to work towards lessening time consumed by social media and celebrity culture. Now, I am going to library and trying to fill any extra time I have by reading rather than scrolling through social media. Yes, I blunder many times a week (even day) but any start is better than never even trying.

:)

 

P.s...I'm also going to be doing a sale of my old clothing soon if anybody will like to order some things, I can ship them off :) Help with recycling clothing rather than partaking in fast fashion!

 

This post has been edited by a member of staff (Songbirdsara) because of a violation of the forum rules.
Please don't double post. If your post is the most recent reply and you would like to add something, use the 'Edit' button.
Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

I just want an attractive dark haired man who rides a bike, loves a good read, rocks some glasses...is this too much to ask? :( 

how to focus on homework when you just can't?

I feel like crap today. and homesick, I'm nearly 30 hours from home and won't be back for another three months. I have no motivation to do my homework, which requires a lot of inspiration and creative flow. Maybe I have a creative block right now. Whatever it is, I'm about to bang out the rest of my necessary homework tonight and get a pint of ice cream and watch some sex & city on the couch. And I won't feel bad about it. Well maybe just a little. 

 

Hey guys. I'm overseas at the moment and my new roommate is around my age and we get along well. However, she is a big party girl and wants to go out nearly every night Thursday-Sunday. I just can't keep up. I enjoy a drink perhaps one night a week at most. When I tell her I don't feel up to going out she will throw a fit and won't take no for an answer. It's beyond frustrating to rationalize with her, especially when she's had a few drinks in her. I never had this problem before, considering I am a fairly "fun" person and like to socialize and make new friends. But I just can't even with the party girls. 

 

Although I am only overseas for a short time, I  don't think that justifies the urge to party hard until 4 am every weekend night. Am I wrong? 

 

Thoughts? xx

Hey guys, thanks for the thought fun responses. I have been trying to reach out, but I feel as if some people are pushing me away because maybe I am trying too hard. Sigh. Oh well, I know I am fabulous, so their loss right?

Do you ever just have days or weeks where you literally feel like doing nothing? all you want to do is sit on your laptop? and then you just beat yourself up for it?

Help, I am studying abroad and there are only a few other people in my program studying here as well. I am lonely and feel like I have no one. What should I do

thanks so much all. I think I have my answers, it is now just matter of accepting the facts for myself. keep on keeping on. xx

I know this reply is extremely late. But I wish you the best for school. Honestly, you never know where the road will take you. I am a junior in college for fashion design, actually the top design school in the country, which I thought I was meant to do my entire life. But now, I am questioning my major choice every day and I am trying to muster up the courage to tell my parents that I may seriously need to reconsider. It's hard to decipher the voices inside you sometimes. Should I persist through school and continue fashion design? Or should I listen to the small, nagging voice that is telling me to take a risk and do something else. 

 

Life will never come as expected and that's ok. Embrace every experience you have, and please remember, you can get through so much more than you think. Never stop questioning yourself, never stop learning, and you will never ever stop growing. 

hey guys. so lately I have been experiencing so many ups and downs and unfortunately right now I am in a bit of a slump. Last year at this time I was hanging out with my long time crush, who just happened to be my ex's best friend. gasp, I know, crumby of me, but I really had feelings for this guy and my ex and I had been broken up for awhile at the time. 

 

Anyways, the guy (Gray) ended up being a huge player, which I already knew in the back of my mind, but I still REALLY like him. We were on and off for awhile, but now he has a gf but he has cheated on her. 

 

Also, I had an equally huge crush on an older guy that would come into my work. He is really successful and has a great personality. I hadn't seen him for almost two years when last week I ran into him and his GF downtown. I didn't say hi, I was too shocked. I could feel him staring at me though and he glanced back multiple times to check me out. He had also offered to cheat on his gf with me awhile ago but I felt too scummy. I texted him a smiley face a few ago later and he never replied. I feel so stupid. 

 

Now, I feel as if I have no one. A lot of guys are interested in talking to me, but I push them away because I feel like I will never be satisfied until I get either of these two men. 

 

I also feel pretty scummy about myself. It stinks. I really try to stay level headed through it all and focus on myself. But at the same time, the voice inside me is telling me to just take a chance and do it. Text them, tell them how you really feel. What's the worst that could happen? But then again, John (the older guy) didn't even reply to me when I did try to reach out to him. And gray seems pretty content with his girlfriend.

 

Do I have a problem? I'm so lost. People will try to tell me that I will get over it eventually, but these feelings have been harboring for years. 

get out b4 too late

 

This post has been edited by a member of staff (Rune Valentine) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Please keep your posts at 7 words or above. Please make sure your posts contribute to the topic in hand.

Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

Ever since I went to Hawaii a few years ago, I have never felt more connected with a place. Compared to the big city I live in now, the lifestyle change is so drastic. I know right now where I'm located is best for my major choice, fashion design. Fashion design is an extremely hard major to break into, and Hawaii has very limited job options in this realm. Perhaps I will finish school, get a good job in the city, and eventually settle down in Hawaii. I don't want to wait!!!!!!

The first time I had a panic attack I thought I was having a heart attack, however my parents told me calm down because they knew I was simply getting myself worked up. As hard as it may seem during an anxiety attack, it is so important to simply breathe and remind yourself it will pass. My ex boyfriend used to have extremely bad anxiety and he often met with a therapist. Maybe you could try this out? Either way, push through it and find a way to calm yourself down! Good luck :)

I'm bored…..someone chat!

 

This topic has been edited by a member of staff (Ruto) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Please have at least seven words in your post, and do not create spam topics. We have a general chat thread here.

Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

Per the reason above, this topic has been LOCKED. Please contact Ruto if you have any questions regarding this action.

You guys….Does anyone here like the Gorillaz?? If so…did you hear the amazing news…they're coming back within the next year :)

 

This topic has been edited by a member of staff (Ruto) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Please do not create more than one thread about a topic.

Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

Per the reason above, this topic has been LOCKED. Please contact Ruto if you have any questions regarding this action.

I feel ya. Had a mutant Draik potion a long time ago and stopped playing for years. Now, I hardly play the game, I mostly just use the forums. Idk if I could ever go back because I know I would find my mutant Draik long gone.

You're all right, and thank you so much.

If he wants me then he'll have to prove it, and I can't allow him to ruin days for me, or hurt me anymore. I've talked to my mom ,and I'm stopping his visitation untill he gets his act together. I really appreciate all of these kind words and advice thank you <3

I know it may be hard, but I think you are making a wise decision. Best of luck to you.