Interesting cultural habits from your country/state/area!

[Rune Valentine]

My mom SWEARS by this - she said she had tooth dreams before her grandparents died as well as my one uncle. I always thought she was nuts but maybe that really is a thing...

It's probably just a general superstition...but I can attest to this as I've also had those dreams when both my grand parents passed away.

 

Hmm, interesting facts about my culture.

 

• No one is a "Mr." or "Mrs." - everyone is an uncle or aunt, whether it be your elderly nextdoor neighbour or your friends' parents.
• We use a polite interjection (I'm not sure that's the right term for it, it's hard to find an English equivalent :P) in conversations with people who are older or someone we want to show respect to.
• We love our soy sauce, fish sauce, shrimp paste, spiced vinegar, and various other dipping sauces and always have them on the dining table.
• It's a custom to gamble during wakes.
• We don't have great aunts or uncles. Everyone is just grandpa and grandma xD

I come from the lovely land of the Philippines, where it's scorching one half of the year and raining the other half. It's a mix of different Asian cultures, as well as Spanish influences. So we're a wonderful mix of everyone from everywhere! Like my grandfather moved from Spain, so my father and his family name is so incredibly Spanish, but my mother is of Chinese descent and I take after my mother's side, looking silly with a blatantly Spanish name and tiny, tiny eyes!

[leverhelven]

 

• No one is a "Mr." or "Mrs." - everyone is an uncle or aunt, whether it be your elderly nextdoor neighbour or your friends' parents.
• We use a polite interjection (I'm not sure that's the right term for it, it's hard to find an English equivalent :P) in conversations with people who are older or someone we want to show respect to.
• We love our soy sauce, fish sauce, shrimp paste, spiced vinegar, and various other dipping sauces and always have them on the dining table.
• It's a custom to gamble during wakes.
• We don't have great aunts or uncles. Everyone is just grandpa and grandma xD

 

Hey, this uncle and aunt thing is similar to Brazil's affectionate habit of children calling adults aunt and uncle! Especially teachers, but also for pretty much anyone else that's not from the child's family but has some contact with them :P

 

The grandpa and grandma thing also reminds me that we also just call our great-aunts and great-uncles just aunts and uncles!

 

And by the way, what's a wake?

[cartoon_dreamer]

It's probably just a general superstition...but I can attest to this as I've also had those dreams when both my grand parents passed away.

 

Hmm, interesting facts about my culture.

 

• No one is a "Mr." or "Mrs." - everyone is an uncle or aunt, whether it be your elderly nextdoor neighbour or your friends' parents.
• We use a polite interjection (I'm not sure that's the right term for it, it's hard to find an English equivalent :P) in conversations with people who are older or someone we want to show respect to.
• We love our soy sauce, fish sauce, shrimp paste, spiced vinegar, and various other dipping sauces and always have them on the dining table.
• It's a custom to gamble during wakes.
• We don't have great aunts or uncles. Everyone is just grandpa and grandma xD

I noticed some of those quirks in China too! Except they also call all their friends and cousins brothers and sisters too.

I would ask my students: How many uncles do you have?

They would reply "I have 17 uncles!"

It took me a few weeks to realize they actually didn't have 17 uncles, that they were showing respect..

[Hert123]

 

 

• My dad cooks the best breakfasts: scrambled eggs, fried eggs (though not my thing), omelets, and French toast. Our family's French toast recipe is very different than any other I've had, so I never ever order it out (it's milk, eggs, and lots of sugar mixed together; soak the bread really well in it, and fry it in a pan on low heat in a ton of butter until both sides are golden; then serve with more butter -- don't add cinnamon or syrup)

We actually have this in the Netherlands too. We mix some milk, an egg and some sugar and then soak the bread in it and fry it in a pan. You can add syrup, but extra sugar tastes delicious! We call them 'wentelteefjes'. I have no idea why. I also like to walk on socks indoors :)

[agrinwithoutacat]

It's hard for me to think of anything "interesting", because it's all just "normal" to me, haha. I will say though, after moving to Texas from California I did notice some differences. One I'm having to work on/get used to is calling people "sir" or "ma'am". In California, you almost never do that, it's way too formal. Some people even take it like you're calling them old, and get a little peeved about it. Here, it's really common and just the polite thing to do. So, when I'm at work and dealing with customers I really try to get that right.

Also, the Mexican food is entirely different. It's not really a cultural habit, but something I found interesting and a little disappointing at first.

[siniri]

It's hard for me to think of anything "interesting", because it's all just "normal" to me, haha. I will say though, after moving to Texas from California I did notice some differences. One I'm having to work on/get used to is calling people "sir" or "ma'am". In California, you almost never do that, it's way too formal. Some people even take it like you're calling them old, and get a little peeved about it. Here, it's really common and just the polite thing to do. So, when I'm at work and dealing with customers I really try to get that right.

Ah, being called "ma'am" makes me feel old (as does "lady"), and I'm not a fan of having kids call me "Miss ____". Really, I'd rather they just use my first name, especially middle and high schoolers. On the other hand, I hate it when salespeople use my first name without my permission (especially when calling) -- especially if they try to shorten it into a nickname that I don't even go by! But pretty much every place I've ever worked, we've called each other by their first names (even upper management), so I'm just used to it. When I was a kid, we'd call adults "Mr." or "Mrs." plus their last name, but younger people (teens, younger adults -- basically, anyone of similar age to one of my siblings, the oldest of which is twelve years older than me) by just their first name. Our next-door neighbor (who often babysat for us), we called "Aunt Reta," and her sister-in-law "Grandma LastName" at her insistence. But the rest were pretty much all "Mr." or "Mrs." It was definitely a lot easier; if you knew the kid's last name, you usually knew their parents' name, too. I remember when a friend wanted to call my mom to see if I could go somewhere with her, she asked me for my mom's name, and I was so confused -- until she asked for "Miss Terry."

[Novelista]

Herrshmoo, I took your (NYT) dialect quiz! Apparently, I could be from Toledo, Ohio, Rockford, Illinois or St. Louis, Missouri--all because of the way I pronounce the words "caught" and "cot"!

Hert: That's right, you just got a king, didn't you? It's been queens for a while, right? That's cool. ^_^

Deb: The kids menu thing is usually only in sitdown restaurants. I don't think places like McDonald's enforce an age rule, because I got a kids meal when I was seventeen. :D

Siniri: I've looked up teeth dreams several times and they all seem to agree it's a stress dream that's especially common when you have braces.

Lev: BAREFOOT! All year long!

When I went to Las Vegas in 2008, I danced barefoot on the patio at a magician's house and everyone was like, "Aren't you cold?!" Shoot, no. It was in the 60s that night and I go barefoot in the winter (inside the house)...my feet get a LOT colder then.

Oh and since no one answered...a wake is a visitation or viewing. Sometimes (depending on the culture), the family will have a separate party outside of the funeral home visitation.

I think it comes from the idea that you sit with the deceased for a day to make sure they don't wake up. (!) I don't know if sitting shiv (sp?) is the same idea or not, because I'm not Jewish.

===

In Michigan, we generally call the fizzy stuff "pop", but after my mom had a boyfriend for a while who was born in Delaware, I started calling it "soda". It's probably best to do that when you're in retail, because you never know where your customers are from.

I personally think it's "sinful" not to learn how to swim if you're from Michigan. We touch four of the five Great Lakes and have lots of inland bodies of water. There's no excuse!

And if you've ever seen something like this? It's mostly true. :D

[leverhelven]

Oh and since no one answered...a wake is a visitation or viewing. Sometimes (depending on the culture), the family will have a separate party outside of the funeral home visitation.

 

I think it comes from the idea that you sit with the deceased for a day to make sure they don't wake up. (!) I don't know if sitting shiv (sp?) is the same idea or not, because I'm not Jewish.

 

 

 

Now THAT is something I've always been curious about: funeral traditions. I've always found it weird the way things are conducted in the US. Well, at least for what I've seen in movies and the like, there's those funeral home things, and then after that everybody goes to the deceased's family house to eat, right? Wow, that's... different, to say the least. :P

 

Also I don't know what "visitation" and "viewing" mean, but by the context I believe it's a part of the funeral tradition, right? But wait -- party?! Are there people who party after a funeral?

 

Here the body is taken to a chapel inside the cemetery grounds, where family and friends may or may not stay by the body praying and saying goodbye - it's okay if you don't feel comfortable about it, though. Then the coffin is taken to its grave and that's it. Nothing afterwards, really.

 

I've only been twice, and personally I hated it. I really don't want the last image of a beloved one to be of them inside a coffin, all pale and, well, lifeless. I prefer not to go, and keep only positive memories in my head...

 

ps: lately some American-styled Funeral Homes have been appearing here in Brazil, but they're overall viewed very negatively, being considered too morbid...

[siniri]

 

Now THAT is something I've always been curious about: funeral traditions. I've always found it weird the way things are conducted in the US. Well, at least for what I've seen in movies and the like, there's those funeral home things, and then after that everybody goes to the deceased's family house to eat, right? Wow, that's... different, to say the least. :P

 

Also I don't know what "visitation" and "viewing" mean, but by the context I believe it's a part of the funeral tradition, right? But wait -- party?! Are there people who party after a funeral?

 

Here the body is taken to a chapel inside the cemetery grounds, where family and friends may or may not stay by the body praying and saying goodbye - it's okay if you don't feel comfortable about it, though. Then the coffin is taken to its grave and that's it. Nothing afterwards, really.

 

I've only been twice, and personally I hated it. I really don't want the last image of a beloved one to be of them inside a coffin, all pale and, well, lifeless. I prefer not to go, and keep only positive memories in my head...

 

ps: lately some American-styled Funeral Homes have been appearing here in Brazil, but they're overall viewed very negatively, being considered too morbid...

I've only been to a handful of funerals in the U.S., and they've all been very different from one another.

 

An American funeral home typically takes care of most aspects related to death; I guess they're sort of like a wedding planner. They pick up the body from the hospital, prepare it (embalming, dressing and make-up to make it look "natural", or cremation -- though sometimes they just coordinate this with a mortician, I think it's called, but I think most funeral homes do this "in-house" now), sell coffins/urns, provide a space for the viewing and/or funeral, transport the body and close family members (to the funeral service location, if different, and to the cemetery), and conduct/assist with the graveside service (providing the chairs, etc.). Often they're independent from the cemetery, but they work closely with the cemetery.

 

My grandfather died while my grandma was in the hospital recovering from a joint replacement, so we went down to help her once she got out of the hospital. I believe we had a viewing at the funeral home. The viewing was for family and friends to pay their last respects and express condolences to the family. He was cremated, and the burial was held a year later (because they had bought cemetery plots when living an hour and a half away, and my grandma couldn't make that trip post-surgery), with just the family. The graveside service was short, with a blessing by a Catholic priest (my grandma was Catholic, and my grandpa agnostic).

 

When my grandmother died, we had the viewing at the funeral home, which again was just the family sitting in the first few rows of the chapel, and people coming by and paying their respect to the family and saying their goodbyes to the body (usually the family stays the whole time, and people drop by at various times, signing the guest book, waiting to talk briefly to the family, and optionally visiting with the body and talking with others to remember the deceased). That was in the evening; the funeral was the next day, in the morning, and it was friends and family, in a Catholic church. (So the Catholic funeral rite -- we opted for a full mass, with eulogies delivered at some point by family members.) Again, it was only family who caravaned to the cemetery because of the long drive, and then there was the short Catholic burial rite at the grave. Then my grandma had included in her will that we all go out to dinner (her treat -- money was set aside in the will for this), because she wanted us to focus on spending time together without anyone having to cook, clean, etc., so we went to a fancy restaurant (my mom, her siblings, and all of the cousins who had come down).

 

When my friend died of a heart attack, his church wasn't big enough for the crowd, so they held the funeral at the chapel of the largest funeral home they could find. Again, the viewing was the evening before, and the funeral during the day. The funeral part was basically just eulogies; there was a brief prayer at some point, but nothing like the Catholic funeral rite. Then about 1/3 of us proceeded to the cemetery for the burial, which was again just a short prayer. I assume the closest family and friends gathered afterwards, but I don't know where. My Irish dance friends had an "Irish wake" for him that weekend, which was just us gathering to share memories, sing, play music, and dance (which might sound a bit odd, but that's how we knew him, through dance, and it was a way to celebrate his life and memories). It was a potluck (everyone bringing some food and/or drink to share), and we invited his wife, but we held it in my friend's home, and it was just for the people in our dance class.

 

When my friend's mom died, I went to the viewing to offer my condolences to her, even though I'd never met her mom. This is pretty typical; the viewing is typically held in the evening so that people can stop by after work, and the funeral is attended by closer family and friends (who can take the time off work), with the burial having the fewest attendees (and sometimes closed to all but family). I've never seen/heard of people going back to the family's house after the funeral and imposing on them like they do in movies. (Sometimes people will drop off meals so they don't have to worry about cooking, and they might visit briefly, but it's assumed that the house is bustling with out-of-town relatives, and most people leave the grieving alone, sending sympathy cards.)

 

In Ireland, at the height of immigration, family and friends would hold an "American wake" to mourn someone they'd likely never see again -- except that the person was there to celebrate with them. It usually involved music, dancing, singing, drinking, and stories.

[Novelista]

That was fantastic, Siniri. I couldn't have done better myself...and I've worked at a funeral home! (Guess I should mention that in my quirks thread, nu?)

 

Any further questions, I may be able to answer them. ^_^

 

(If not, I certainly know who to talk to...I keep in touch with my old supervisor and coworkers.)

[leverhelven]

Wow, I'm thinking about creating a topic specifically about funeral rites -- there seems to be so much information and so much variety! :)

 

Siniri, it's curious because we're mostly Catholics in Brazil, but our funeral rites are pretty diferente from the Catholic funeral you described. We don't deliver eulogies, for example. We do, however, prepare a church service after 7 days of the death, and after 1 month. They're called, well, "7th day Service" and "Month Service". On that, the priest may or may not mention the deceased person --- when it's a public service (many different deceased people) he usually doesn't. But his sermon will typically be about death, and about giving comfort to the living who have lost their beloved.

 

I once was super bummed with a public service. The priest prayed in memory of lots of deceased people - including my cousin at the time - but also sang Happy Birthday to the atendees how were celebrating birthday that day! Now come on --- a little sensitivity, please? So many people grieving and he has the audacity of singing "happy birthday" to some? Couldn't he have left it for the evening service or something? Gash.

[siniri]

Lev, now that I think about it, the eulogies might have been at the funeral home the evening before? Maybe a single family member might have said something during the funeral, maybe after the homily -- I can't really remember. I remember the priest spent most of the time standing in front of the coffin. That's actually the only Catholic funeral I've been to.

 

Just about every single mass is said in memory of a particular dead person (or persons) at our church, and other deceased are prayed for during the "prayers of the faithful" (intercessory prayers that take place after the recitation of the Creed). And then there's All Souls Day, which is celebrated differently depending on how many Latinos are in the parish (if there are a lot, it will often be a full Dia de los Muertos celebration). [Aside: that's my birthday, and I didn't realize until high school that "The Day of the Dead" holiday we learned about in school was the exact same thing as All Souls Day, because we just went to church and remembered the dead of that year, without all the pictures and food and costumes and picnicking in cemeteries.]

 

The 7th day and Month Service sound similar to a Japanese tradition (theirs is 40 days, I think, and it's just as, if not more, important as the immediate funeral). They have a lot of interesting traditions relating to the dead, actually..

 

I think you're right that this could be a whole other topic. I didn't even mention the pomp and ceremony surrounding military funerals here. But in general, we try not to think too much about death as a culture. Funeral processions drive with their lights on (though most cars have daytime running lights now, which makes it hard to tell), and in the old days, if you saw one, you'd stop and wait until it finished passing by, standing at attention. Now most people don't even want to stop, much less get out of their cars. Most people I know don't want to see a dead body, and many don't attend funerals unless it's close family (and even not then, sometimes). And I sometimes run/walk through my local cemetery, and few graves are visited with any regularity. (This contrasts to Ireland, where we saw a number of people in the graveyards we visited or passed by, including one lady who was putting flowers on a 100+ year-old grave.)

[Novelista]

Eulogies are generally given at Catholic funerals. I'll never forget the story about my Pop-Pop going out to buy tires and coming home with a new car. xD

 

Let the funeral bug start the new thread. ^_^

[kaybee92]

 

Hey, this uncle and aunt thing is similar to Brazil's affectionate habit of children calling adults aunt and uncle! Especially teachers, but also for pretty much anyone else that's not from the child's family but has some contact with them :P

 

The grandpa and grandma thing also reminds me that we also just call our great-aunts and great-uncles just aunts and uncles!

 

Mexico, too - all my friends' mothers are my "aunts," but in Spain calling someone aunt/uncle would be basically like calling someone "dude" unless they're ACTUALLY your aunt or uncle...aka it's not respectful at all.