Opinions

[Wildbreeze]

I'm sick of people on the internet.

Since I was 12 or 13, when I started to gain my own voice, I've been utterly and mercilessly attacked for my opinions. It's led me to be quiet about anything, controversial or not, has brought tears, and has even made me feel physically ill on some occasions.

Why can't people accept other people's opinions? Why do people go into automatic attack-mode when someone says something they disagree with? I don't think they realize the damage they do, or the hurt they cause.

Honestly, I rarely, if ever, get involved in anything resembling a debate anymore. When I do, I regret it. I try to be polite and sincere, and avoid bashing other people's opinions. But then they come back at me full-force, ranting and swearing and trying to bend me to their will.

Since I obviously can't force myself to agree with people's opinions, and certainly can't agree with everyone, I'm truly done voicing opinions, especially over the internet.

 

Sorry for the rant. I just feel so awful right now.

 

Edit: Realized this should probably be in the Your Life section, if someone wants to move it...

[Welcome Back Apathy]

Trolls. Trolls everywhere.

 

Have you ever been on yahoo comments? Seriously, the people there are the biggest, dumbest trolls. The trick is to learn to find it funny, even when they attack you personally. I've been attacked for being an atheist, for being disabled--seriously, I had someone tell me I was lazy and that most disabled people can cure their disability if they just TRY, including people who are paralyzed.

 

It's hard. But try to find the humor in these people. You may have the strongest facts in a debate, but facts don't matter to trolls. They are trying to get a rise out of you. Don't go to their level--but it's okay to troll a bit back. Play along. "WELL, SHOOT, HERE I WAS IN THIS WHEELCHAIR, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET TOLD ME I COULD JUST CURE MY DISABILITY, AND LO AND BEHOLD, HE CURED ME!"

[Wildbreeze]

Trolls. Trolls everywhere.

 

Have you ever been on yahoo comments? Seriously, the people there are the biggest, dumbest trolls. The trick is to learn to find it funny, even when they attack you personally. I've been attacked for being an atheist, for being disabled--seriously, I had someone tell me I was lazy and that most disabled people can cure their disability if they just TRY, including people who are paralyzed.

 

It's hard. But try to find the humor in these people. You may have the strongest facts in a debate, but facts don't matter to trolls. They are trying to get a rise out of you. Don't go to their level--but it's okay to troll a bit back. Play along. "WELL, SHOOT, HERE I WAS IN THIS WHEELCHAIR, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET TOLD ME I COULD JUST CURE MY DISABILITY, AND LO AND BEHOLD, HE CURED ME!"

Oh goodness, that last part made me laugh. :D Trolling people can be entertaining, but most of the time, I just can't bring myself to do it.

I've been attacked for things in my life, as well. Being homeschooled, being Mormon, being in the fandoms I'm in... Those things I'm (relatively) used to. It's when I express an honest opinion and am attacked by the people who were seeking the opinions that it hurts. I've had people more than 10 years older than me, people in my family attack me for opinions. I can honestly say that I've never had anyone stick up for me in things like this, except for my mom and dad against my brother.

[~Xandria]

-Hugs- I've been in similiar situations and I know how it can make you feel. Karina summed it up pretty well though. :) They are there to either get a rise out of you. Either that or they are very young and haven't learned how to express there opinions. OR - they have anger issues. You shouldn't have to feel like you can't state your opinions though. If someone starts to get rude with you, then don't respond or have a witty comback like Karina. That tends to make them mad. :P

[Zephyr]

Ok, sorry if my post is a bit messy as I have a lot of thoughts on this & I feel very strongly with you on this.

 

You've described very accurately what caused me to go into super ninja lurker mode in some of the forums because just reading all the responses alone is enough to give me pause. Sometimes I feel some of the places is just... cutthroat for the lack of a better word. I've also seen some instances where the attack went beyond verbal & became serious harassment.

 

From what I've seen people do that for different reasons. Some, like Karina had mentioned, are trolls. Others do it to be popular or cool, some do it just to prove they're right or for the sake of arguing. Or, because of the safety of the (relative) anonymity the internet offers. Sometimes people forget or don't care that there is another living, breathing person at the other end of the screen.

 

The golden mantra from seasoned posters is to ignore them: Ignore button is your good friend if you really can't stand the comments.

If the content is agaist the forum rules, then report button is your new best friend.

But above all, don't take such attacks to heart & move on:

 

 

 

Or as Oscar Wilde famously said: There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about :P

 

While attacks may cut you to the quick, sometimes support can also come from the most unexpected lurkers' corner. Keep your chin up! :) *hugs*

[icedragonair]

Yeah sorry that sucks, but welcome to the internet. People act like that because they can. In real life there are consequences for that kind of behavior. If you act like that with friends, you will find yourself alone, you act like that with strangers (if you somehow managed to get into a conversation about opinions with a stranger) rudeness may earn you a black eye.

 

But on the internet there are no consequences, so people act without fear of retribution. Unfortunately, you'll soon realize, the reason a lot of people act polite in the real world, is ONLY because of fear of persecution.

 

The best thing I can say to you is a piece of advice that my friend often says: grow a thick hide.

Its just about the only way to deal with this, you can't do anything to the trolls.

 

Truthfully I have never had this problems myself, I don't really care.

But if it helps, think of it like this: they are random strangers, who the heck are they that they can ruin your day or influence your opinions, who are they that they are so important that their opinions should matter to you?

They are random strangers, there is no reason that their thoughts should have any importance to you.

[The_Warblers]

Can you give me an example of your opinion in a debate? Well, if you come to a gay forum & disagree gay marriage, you ll surely be attacked

 

I never attack someone on the Internet. If I disagree, I ll try to say it politely with my reasons. If they don't listen, I ll just leave.

 

I don't think you should mind too much what other say to you. If you don't want to be attack, just follow the group. If you want to be yourself, just ignore people like I do :)

[Zephyr]

The best thing I can say to you is a piece of advice that my friend often says: grow a thick hide.

Very much this & it's still something I'm working on.

 

Even over here, when posting in such a friendly & laidback environment, I'm still anxious about killing a thread. Whenever I see nobody posting after me, I'd still mentally go thread, don't die D:. Or the few threads I started, I worry that they'd flop miserably with no replies. But I keep telling myself that it's OK, & that well, I've already mapped out the worst case scenarios haha So long as I'm not breaking forum rules, it's all cool :)

 

(& re-reading after I posted this, this feels so silly & off topic that I want to delete it. Reminder to self: Thick hide)

[~Xandria]

Can you give me an example of your opinion in a debate? Well, if you come to a gay forum & disagree gay marriage, you ll surely be attacked. I never attack someone on the Internet. If I disagree, I ll try to say it politely with my reasons. If they don't listen, I ll just leave.

I think the whole point was that she never attacked anyone. She just stated her opinion but feels as though she can't because she gets attacked.

[Wildbreeze]

Thanks everyone. Honestly, it started to ruin my night last night, but I wasn't about to allow that. I just listened to some music that always helps calm me down, and just got my mind off it. I'm avoiding that page now, and don't want any part in it. People will think what they think, and you can't change that, no matter how you try. They have to do that themselves. It wasn't helping me or anyone else to participate in that. I'm done with it now, and I'm not going to let stuff like this ruin my life.

[icedragonair]

Very much this & it's still something I'm working on.

 

Even over here, when posting in such a friendly & laidback environment, I'm still anxious about killing a thread. Whenever I see nobody posting after me, I'd still mentally go thread, don't die D:. Or the few threads I started, I worry that they'd flop miserably with no replies. But I keep telling myself that it's OK, & that well, I've already mapped out the worst case scenarios haha So long as I'm not breaking forum rules, it's all cool :)

 

(& re-reading after I posted this, this feels so silly & off topic that I want to delete it. Reminder to self: Thick hide)

 

Don't worry so much about that. If a thread dies and you were the last to post, doesn't mean you killed it, more likely everything just been said that needs to be. Also not all threads have to be super threads with 1000 comments, to a question one reply might be enough and that's okay.

 

You probably already know all this but i thought id say it anyway. Bedsides posting isn't a popularity contest, don't worry so much about it, its not like your posting to entertain people, you post because its of relevant interest to you.

[lilllisan]

I have to agree with what you said about opinions on the internet. I don't know if you have a tumblr, but the obama and romney posts got ridiculous! Okay, so you don't support Romney but does that make it okay to make really nasty posts about him? No. And nobody would ever stand up and stop it. The posts would get 100k notes and people were like "omg yess". If I would have made a rude post about obama (not that I would I support him) I would have 50000 people sending me hate, but somehow it was okay to make fun of Romney. Same thing goes for a lot of other topics. It's sad because it really isn't a debate at all when it comes to this point. It's just immature people harassing each other and I'm really sick of it.

 

Everyone doesn't have that great self-esteem and I crumble when people post rude things to me. I know exactly what you mean about killing threads too! I feel horrible and I usually don't voice my opinions if they stick out too much because I can't deal with how people get so cruel. You are definitely NOT alone!!

[Zombiiesque]

I'm actually a pretty sensitive person, and I know I shouldn't be, sometimes things will just roll right off my back, and I'm better dealing with people face to face - but people can be incredibly hurtful on the internet because the other person is faceless. I used to do YouTube and there are some completely awful commenters on YouTube. I actually had to walk away because of the awful negativity and there's no way I'll subject myself to that. People can be so nasty on the internet and I can't stand that. There's no reason you should act that way online when you wouldn't dare speak to someone like that in public.

[Zephyr]

You probably already know all this but i thought id say it anyway. Bedsides posting isn't a popularity contest, don't worry so much about it, its not like your posting to entertain people, you post because its of relevant interest to you.

I agree with the front part :) Neither do I see starting a thread or posting as a popularity contest.

As you mentioned in a question-asking thread, if it's been answered then it's served its purpose.

But in say, a discussion thread, I'd like for it to be longer. Like a host to a party, I'd wish to see participation & engagement (though that's beyond my control but still) & generally people having a good time.

 

Of course relevant interest is one of the main reasons I post. But it's also nice to get a response once in a while. Like now, I see this exchange between us as helping to make this thread more lively & add more layers to the content. In a fast moving forum, there would be tons more people posting after me but they mostly post & run. I guess in a forum, I'm looking more for interaction & with thread killing, there isn't much much room for that with the zero response & all.

I feel even more awakward when there's all this activity in a thread & after I posted it just all died down. I felt like I'm in a real life conversation where I said something that made everyone went

Rationally I know it may have nothing to do with me so nowadays I'm much more comfortable about it. I'd just chalk it up as a derp moment lol

[Tsalagi_Phoenix]

People can be cruel. I've been attacked on forums as well, even though I didn't attack anyone. Even on blogging sites people can be really mean. The one blogging site I'm on, I've been on there since 2005. I've had some rude people here and there, but nothing too bad. That changed in April though. A blogger on the site asked people to share their experiences with racism. I did and got some negative comments, as well as a woman attacking me and even writing a blog making fun of what I went through. The sad part is, people thought the blog was funny and even recommended it (recommending a blog on the site is similar to a facebook "like", the people who are subscribing to you, or are your friends, will see the blogs you recommend). Some of the people who thought the blog was funny and recommended it were people I considered friends.

 

I still blog on there, but I don't feel like I can fully be myself on there anymore, which makes me sad.

 

I think all you can do is still post your opinions and try to ignore the people who are jerks. If they get too nasty, I'm sure you could report them.

[~Xandria]

People can be cruel. I've been attacked on forums as well, even though I didn't attack anyone. Even on blogging sites people can be really mean. The one blogging site I'm on, I've been on there since 2005. I've had some rude people here and there, but nothing too bad. That changed in April though. A blogger on the site asked people to share their experiences with racism. I did and got some negative comments, as well as a woman attacking me and even writing a blog making fun of what I went through. The sad part is, people thought the blog was funny and even recommended it (recommending a blog on the site is similar to a facebook "like", the people who are subscribing to you, or are your friends, will see the blogs you recommend). Some of the people who thought the blog was funny and recommended it were people I considered friends.

 

I still blog on there, but I don't feel like I can fully be myself on there anymore, which makes me sad.

 

I think all you can do is still post your opinions and try to ignore the people who are jerks. If they get too nasty, I'm sure you could report them.

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I really don't understand the mindset of these people. Unfortunatley racism is still alive and well & people still find it funny, which makes me sick to my stomach. It's one thing to be rude but they went beyond that and turned it into harassment. I hope you were able to report the blog and get it taken down or in the very least - able to not let it get to you. -hugs- if you want them. :)

[Naamah D.]

Not being able to voice your opinion sucks online and in the real world. I used to be very opinionated, but have learned to keep my mouth shut because people just want to argue with me.

 

The bottom line is this: Ingore them. On the internet, it's okay to ignore people as in real life there's really no such thing as ignoring people.

[Tsalagi_Phoenix]

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I really don't understand the mindset of these people. Unfortunatley racism is still alive and well & people still find it funny, which makes me sick to my stomach. It's one thing to be rude but they went beyond that and turned it into harassment. I hope you were able to report the blog and get it taken down or in the very least - able to not let it get to you. -hugs- if you want them. :)

 

Thanks. It did bother me so I ended up not going on that blogging site for a few days. I didn't try to get the post taken down though, I knew nothing would be done about it. I'm okay now and that woman isn't blogging on there anymore. She attacked someone else a few months after me and some people on the site ended up telling her off, until she eventually left. Before she left though, she wrote a number of blogs saying she was being bullied and harassed when she didn't do anything wrong. Which isn't true. She's been on that site for years and has attacked many people.

 

The reason I got negative reactions to my blog is because the racism I experienced is because I have white skin. I'm a Cherokee of a mixed heritage, but I don't look Cherokee. No one knows that I am, unless they ask me what I am and so to most people, they just think I'm white. So, what I've experienced is because of my white skin and that seems to have made people mad when they read it on my blog. I was pretty much called a liar by several people.

 

I was actually surprised when people reacted the way they did. Racism is something that can happen to someone of any race and I would never make fun of someone for what they experienced. I also don't understand that mindset either.

[passiflora]

Like everyone else has said, such is the internet. :( It's easy to say harsh things when you can hide behind a monitor. I've been on other forums with very lax rules and people outright bullied others all the time, and it's frustrating.

 

 

I don't think anyone should be afraid to voice their opinion, it's also important to remember that no one has to agree with it. I love debates, even just for the sake of playing devil's advocate. I try to be polite, but some people are really sensitive - they'll take any form of disagreement as a personal attack, even if it was no such thing.

 

I definitely don't agree with ranting/swearing/attacking though, yikes. :ohno: