Naamah D. Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Today I got an award. I was looking forward too having a good time at the ceremony until we had to take a picture outside in the cold, and I didn't want to get my limited edition boots from England dirty(they have spiderwebs on them). This lady kept pressuring me to be in the picture after I had said no. So I left with my mom and teacher that came with me and called her a "female dog" behind her back. Now my mom is upset with me and I feel like failure for the first time in forever. I am scared after my mom told me that it's not that my mom will think the way I dress affects my behaviour. I've been nice as pie for awhile now. What really affected me was the pressure and the fact I'm not feeling well in the first place and was ready to get out of there. In case you didn't know, I am Goth but contrary belief we are NOT the suicidal Satanist the media and close minded people say we are. I am, most of the time, a very happy person. Plus how can I be a Satanist if I DO NOT believe in God or Satan in the first place?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????? I love the way I dress. I am happy that way. I don't want to stop. I hate myself so much right now. :Sarcasm:Might as well throw my black nail polish and everything out and become Pentecostal:Sarcasm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khalon Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Nothing wrong with goth in my opinion. I actually like some styles of goth and gothic lolitas xD They look really cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 I just feel so terrible and guilty. I shouldn't of called her that. I could've done better. I wish my life could be perfect. I'm lonely. I've failed my mom so many times. When I'm sad I expect a hug and being told everything will be okay not "Leave me alone." I love my mom but honestly she doesn't care about what I think and feel. She doesn't care about my pain, how much I'm going through. She never talks to me. She just nods and says "Cool". As much as I love my family I feel like I get ZERO respect and appreciation. If my brother has a problem, a crush, or just wants to chat they can talk to him. But if I have a problem, a crush, or just want to shoot the breeze, they nod and say okay or my dad tells me "I don't really care." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viridian Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Aww. We all get frustrated at times and there is little to do about that. All you can do now is wait a bit, apologize and just make yourself feel better. If you think your mother thinks you've changed because of the way you dress, you should tell her she is wrong... I'm a metalhead myself, so I know how you feel there. Make sure you don't fall into a depression. Here's a virtual hug *hug*! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouseykins Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 *sends hugs* I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to get your boots dirty. I have a gothic shirt that I absolutely love and won't even wear it because I don't want to damage it. I've worn it a couple times. It was part of my halloween costume one year. I spent a lot of money on it and would be devastated if anything happened to it. The organizers for the award could have set things up better and at least told you ahead of time that there will be a picture outside so you could have planned for that by bring an extra pair of boots/shoes. Sounds like you really had an off day and hopefully if you talk to your mom she'll understand and an apology couldn't hurt. I know what it's like to have parents who are somewhat invisible and don't pay any attention to what you're going through. My mom hardly paid any attention to me. It can be quite frustrating. Maybe you could talk to your school councillor and find out ways to communicate better with your parents so they'll actually listen to you. It could be that they don't understand you, and the goth side of you and could be taking it as you worshiping Satan. I hope you can sort everything out and feel better about what happened and have a better day tomorrow. *sends more hugs* A character from NCIS, Abby is goth and I absolutely love her style! Goth attire is such a bold statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baixinha Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Being Goth is cool! I am more of an emo myself though... I have never, ever been outside the U.S border, and all my clothes are hand me downs. So think about me next time you hate yourself, because I am seriously SICK of wearing my grandmothers clothes all the time when everyone else gets to choose what they wear. I always look like a pioneer. :( Also, my only electronic device ( as in my own) is a calculator. This is my dad's computer I'm using. *sends hugs* I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to get your boots dirty. I have a gothic shirt that I absolutely love and won't even wear it because I don't want to damage it. I've worn it a couple times. It was part of my halloween costume one year. I spent a lot of money on it and would be devastated if anything happened to it. The organizers for the award could have set things up better and at least told you ahead of time that there will be a picture outside so you could have planned for that by bring an extra pair of boots/shoes. Sounds like you really had an off day and hopefully if you talk to your mom she'll understand and an apology couldn't hurt. I know what it's like to have parents who are somewhat invisible and don't pay any attention to what you're going through. My mom hardly paid any attention to me. It can be quite frustrating. Maybe you could talk to your school councillor and find out ways to communicate better with your parents so they'll actually listen to you. It could be that they don't understand you, and the goth side of you and could be taking it as you worshiping Satan. I hope you can sort everything out and feel better about what happened and have a better day tomorrow. *sends more hugs* A character from NCIS, Abby is goth and I absolutely love her style! Goth attire is such a bold statement. you are lucky you get to spend money on clothes!! I never get any new clothing. All mine were made in the 1970s. This post has been edited by a member of staff (Crusher) because of a violation of the forum rules. Please don't double post ;) There's an edit button on the bottom-right if you need it! Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Child Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Today I got an award. I was looking forward too having a good time at the ceremony until we had to take a picture outside in the cold, and I didn't want to get my limited edition boots from England dirty(they have spiderwebs on them). This lady kept pressuring me to be in the picture after I had said no. So I left with my mom and teacher that came with me and called her a "female dog" behind her back. Now my mom is upset with me and I feel like failure for the first time in forever. I am scared after my mom told me that it's not that my mom will think the way I dress affects my behaviour. I've been nice as pie for awhile now. What really affected me was the pressure and the fact I'm not feeling well in the first place and was ready to get out of there. In case you didn't know, I am Goth but contrary belief we are NOT the suicidal Satanist the media and close minded people say we are. I am, most of the time, a very happy person. Plus how can I be a Satanist if I DO NOT believe in God or Satan in the first place?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????? I love the way I dress. I am happy that way. I don't want to stop. I hate myself so much right now. :Sarcasm:Might as well throw my black nail polish and everything out and become Pentecostal:Sarcasm I think it's rude that they couldn't consider your feelings on the subject. Couldn't they have taken the picture elsewhere? But I do completely understand what you're going through, maybe in the extreme sense. I'm gay :/ and my mom is... rather uncomfortable with it. We get along okay when we're face to face, but every few minutes she starts ranting about how she couldn't possibly imagine being with another woman - as though she has to justify herself. I love her just the way she is, she doesn't need to prove herself to me. I avoid the topic, but... in the end I kind of feel like /I/ have to prove myself to her. It makes her so uncomfortable that it makes me feel guilty for being who I am. The truth is, though, you are you. You are beautiful just the way you are, and attempting to change yourself for that person will only make you miserable and spiteful. Be you - and bring your mom a cupcake, sit her down, and tell her how you're feeling. Especially the part where you're sorry for being unkind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masaryk Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Aw, try not to let this drag you down. When a situation is driven by emotions, like this one was, we all sometimes say or do little things that we regret. I know I've done that many times. At least what you said was relatively harmless, even if it was a bit rude. It's not like you went on a tirade, said terribly hurtful things, or assaulted someone. It was a little mistake that made both you and your mum disappointed. That will pass. :yes: My mum has a wicked temper, and she has said a LOT of very nasty things to me when she was upset. Usually, she isn't even mad a me, but I guess I make a convenient target. Sometimes, it's taken a long time for me to forget about it, but I've always forgiven her, and I don't let it affect how I feel about her. All you can do is apologize, then try to forget about it. Lose yourself in some music for a while. It usually works for me. I've always dressed like a metalhead, so I've had my fair share of complaints about my dress from my family. My mum nagged for years about all my clothes being black. How we choose to dress really doesn't affect who we are. Our choice of clothing is an expression of a part of who we are, but doesn't define who we are. I might feel very comfortable looking like I'm on my way to a metal concert, but I still have a professional career. Just because I listen to death metal, it doesn't mean I'm a sadistic, homicidal, suicidal misanthrope. Neither my clothes nor my music define who I am, but they are both a part of who I am. Oh, if it gives you a bit of hope, my mum did finally come to accept my choice in clothing. She picked out the almost-perfect wedding dress for me - a purple dress, with a black lace overlay. ;) (I say almost-perfect because the style was slightly off and I really wanted to make my own dress, but couldn't find fabric I liked.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Lyuba Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 How ungrateful they are for not accepting who you are! I see so many parents like that, even my dad is one of them. Goth is a great subculture, I have been very familiar with it myself, even if I'm not neccisarily one. I think it's annoying people make assumptions about subcultrues, and stereotype them. I think you'll just have to try having a talk with your family, as everybody else said. It shouldn't be too bad. and tell hr how these events made you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thank you all so much for your help. Everything is okay now between my mom and I. She even baked me a 3 layer cake:) Now to respond to everyone @Khalon It's defiantly cool. I'm a big girl though so I really not sure if I could pull of Lolita. @Viridian :virtual hugs you back: @Mouseykins I know right? Plus I have trouble climbing hills, so I would have to stand in the snow, ice, and mud on top of a hill. @Baixinha That's too bad. I tried dressing the way I felt I should be dressing, but I hated acting like a total prisspot. @Masaryk The Mad What kind of job you have? I heard that they can't fire you for how you dress outside work so coming from someone who has a professional career I'd like to know. But PM me sometime. You seem cool. @Lady Lyuba There was a misunderstanding they are grateful for who I am. I just get very emotional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Your mom obviously does care about you if she was there with you at the ceremony, regardless of whether there was a photo or not. She was probably just upset that you swore at the teacher, when all the teacher wanted was a photo. Speaking as somebody who skipped a lot of that stuff when I was younger, I really recommend sticking it through, you'll wish you could look back on those achievements later and have nothing to show for them. Just take it as a lesson learned. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nataluna Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 i'm glad to hear it worked out, parents often mean the best, but sometimes stuff happens, i've had my share of blowups too with parents too. three layer cake sounds like yum :) and congratulations on your award too!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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