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Game Guide | Daily Dare 2016 Coverage

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Lobster

I agree, Zafie. Man, I want KQ back so bad! I wasn't very good at it, but it was fun anyway.

<.<

>.>

^.^

It's time again, my friends, to review the results of today's matches at the Altador Cup! This is Brooke, reporting from the studio for The Daily Neopets. We've got another set of exciting results for you, served up with a smile. Or... you know, a smirk. Or whatever expression we slap on. Depends on the caffeine intake, really. Anyway, let's get on with the Alabriss bracket!

We kicked things off today with a match between Mummies and Pirates. The Lost Desert has been having quite a year, and today marked their first sweep of the round. Krawk Island are coming down off the high of their sweep yesterday against Faerieland. The Mummies are keeping a death grip on their spot on the podium, but the Fossils are right on their heels. We'll be watching with baited breath!

The second match of the bracket saw Meridell and Faerieland go head-to-head. The Knights were poised today to take their third sweep of the year, but the Faeries snuck up on them in the slushie tents. Metaphorically, of course! The Faeries forced a draw with their highest score of the day, robbing the Knights of the opportunity for a sweep.

The bracket finished off with a clash between the Chillers and the Natives. Terror Mountain is a force to be reckoned with on the Yooyuball field, but Teylor Nix and Volgoth, forwards for Mystery Island, gave them a run for their money. The match resulted in a draw. The resources of the Natives were spent, however, and the rest of the events went to the Chillers.

As Midtime is busy today, most likely increasing their already astoundingly large vocabulary, I'll be taking the Minitheus bracket as well. Onward!

Brooms abound in the Minitheus bracket today; every single match-up ended in a sweep! None of the results were received with much surprise, but we're reporting them anyway. So hold onto your dust bunnies, people!

Moltara went up against Kreludor to start things off, and got their backsides handed to them. The Moons nearly double the Magmas' scores in every event. The results of the match between Tyrannia and Haunted Woods were much the same. And in the match between Virtupets and Altador, the Suns' heat was no match for the Robots. Sweeps across the board.

So that's the first two brackets! The really interesting stuff is yet to come, however. I'll turn things over to Matt for the Vaeolus bracket and the matches to watch. Talk to me, Matt!

[Brooke claps Matt solidly on the shoulder, nearly knocking him from his chair. She quickly helps him right himself and apologizes. She then folds her hands demurely and looks expectantly at Matt.]

Thanks Brooke! I have the results from the Vaeolus Bracket with me right at this moment, so let's get started.

Despite their rough start in the fourth round, the Minions were able to gather themselves and pull off a clean sweep in today's match against the Ninjas. This marks the Minions' fifth sweep of the entire tournament, not as impressive this far into the tournament. Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger, and Shootout Showdown were very close in terms of scores. The Ninjas barely lost all three games, the final score only differing by one point. Shenkuu fought hard against the Minions, and they will need to continue to do so against the Wizards in today's match. Does this sweep mark the beginning of a winning run for the Minions? It'll be difficult for the Minions to capitalize on this momentum as they're up against the Mermaids, who are sure to give them a rough time. While we're on the topic of the Mermaids, they suffered a loss against Roo Island today as the Rooligans were able to pull off a side sweep. However, all was not lost for the Mermaids as they were able to come back and tie in Yooyuball, preventing a full sweep.

Moving on to our last matchup of the day, Kiko Lake and Brightvale went head to head against each other today. Like usual, the Kikos were able to cleanly sweep the Wizards, dominating in all the gam...

[Brooke leans over and whispers something into Matt's ear.]

What! Excuse me? Brightvale did what now?

[Matt shuffles his papers around and quickly gets rearranged.]

You'll have to excuse me as it seems Brightvale has done the impossible in today's match. The Wizards were definitely able to conjure up some magic on the yooyuball field today as they annihilated the Kikos! Brightvale is the first team to end the Kiko's winning streak which reached up to an impressive seventeen. To no surprise, the Kikos were able to side-sweep the Wizards; however, Brightvale has brightened up the Kikos' tournament records with a splash of red. The Wizards took advantage of the Kikos' weakness in Yooyuball and have proven to the rest of the teams that no one team is invincible. This loss will probably prompt the Kikos to be even more fierce in the upcoming days, but for now, fans and players of Brightvale will be celebrating this fantastic victory.

Moving onto our matches to watch, the underdogs of the Cup Altador and Moltara will be facing against each other for the first time in this year's Cup. Based on previous days' scores, the Magmas have a slight advantage and are predicted to take the overall victory. However, the Suns have been able to push successfully before. Will they be able to do so again in today's match? Brightvale and Shenkuu will also be going head to head today. Both teams are evenly matched on the yooyuball field, however, the Wizards have the advantage in the side games and should be able to pull off at least a side sweep, if not take the whole match. Shenkuu has done well in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown before, can they pull off another upset?

For our final match to watch of this report, the battle between air and sea will commence in today's matchup between the Mermaids and the Minions. Maraqua is predicted to win Yooyuball and Make Some Noise while the Minions take Slushie Slinger. Based on previous scores, Shootout Showdown could go to either of the two teams. The Minions have to step up their game today or else they risk being defeated by the Mermaids.

That wraps up our report! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been informed that I should save my appetite for tomorrow. I wonder what our staff has in store, maybe if I'm lucky I'll snag a few snacks from our break room. Anyways, that's it for us, this is Matt signing off!
 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

Hello, hello, hello! This is Brooke, once again proudly welcoming you to The Daily Neopets' coverage of the Altador Cup. I'm excited to inform you that we seem to have gotten all our strange lighting wrinkles ironed out, and barring any other unforeseen disasters, today should go off without a hitch!

I'll get right to work with the Alabriss Bracket. The Rooligans and Mermaids kicked things off with a vicious battle. Maraqua did their best, as they always do, but at the end of the day they were subjected to a sweep by Roo Island. The Rooligans have been doing steadily better and better this bracket, working their way up to their fourth sweep of the year.

  The Zombies and the Faeries divvied up the results of the next match, splitting them right down the middle. Faerieland squeaked past the Haunted Woods on the Yooyuball field, and on the heels of said victory, took their second win of the year in Slushie Slinger. Then a great uproar rose up from the fans of the Haunted Woods, earning them a win in Make Some Noise, spurring them on to their second shootout success of the year.

In the third and final match of the bracket, Tyrannia upped their sweep-streak by one yet again. The only team so far to beat them in any event has been the mighty Kiko Lake, and today, despite their best efforts, the Knights just didn't stand a chance. Meridell was steamrolled by the Fossils, as the Fossils doubled or nearly doubled half their scores! I stopped and spoke with Loryche, centre forward for the Fossils, and when I asked her the secret to her team's success, she simply smiled and said, "Consistency. We do the same warm ups every day, we have little rituals we do together to psych ourselves up. We've found a formula that works, and we'll stick to it until it doesn't anymore!"

Now how's about we take a look at the Minitheus bracket? Get your dustpans ready, people, because the brooms are back with a vengeance!

Starting off the bracket, Kiko Lake went head-to-head with Brightvale. The Kikos have been wowing us since day one, and today was no exception. Their scores in Make Some Noise continue to be of particular note, and the rest of their scores are nothing to sneeze at, either. Despite the struggles the Wizards have faced so far, this was only Brightvale's third time being swept this year.

Next up, Krawk Island and Altador took the field. The Pirates and the Suns worked their behinds off out there, but ultimately it was the swashbuckling bunch from Krawk Island who swept the Suns. This makes three sweeps for the Krawks so far! Altador, on the other hand, has not yet managed a sweep. But that doesn't mean for a second they'll stop trying!

Finally, the Mummies and the Robots clashed on the battlefield for the second day in a row, and for the second day in a row, the Mummies completely shut the Robots down. The Lost Desert has been having a very good year so far, going all or nothing each match. Virtupets has only taken one sweep so far, and have themselves been swept four times in a row as of today's match. However, tomorrow is, as they say, another day.

And on that note, I need to go find Midtime for tomorrow's report! I'll send y'all over to Matt for the Vaeolus bracket. Matt?

"This is Matt reporting to you live from the field. With a slushie in one hand and results from the Vaeolus Bracket in the other, let's get started before my slushie melts completely!

"First up, the Minions and the Natives clashed on the field today. Although the Minions and the Natives were almost evenly matched, the Minions were still able to sweep the Natives. With close results in all of the games except for Make Some Noise, the Natives must focus on one or two games if they wish to win against the Minions. Mystery Island Team Captain Volgoth expressed his dissatisfaction with his performance today stating, "I should've put in more effort in the last half, but I'm just glad we have another chance to redeem ourselves."

"Moltara reverted back to their original underdog state today as Kreludor was able to easily sweep them. It seems as though the Magmas' victory against the Ninjas was a one time performance, as there were wide score gaps in yesterday's results. One Moltara fan said that "It seemed like the Magmas were burnt out today, the match against Shenkuu must've took a huge toll on them energywise." Will the Magmas ever be able to return to the top tier performance from last year, or will they continue to slowly spiral down the staircase to the lower tiers.

"In our last matchup of the Vaeolus Bracket, the Ninjas narrowly avoided a sweep as the Chillers fell short in Slushie Slinger. The Chillers were able to dominate Make Some Noise like usual, as well as take Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown. However, the Chillers let their guard down as the Ninjas were able to tie in Slushie Slinger, a side game that they've had moderate success in throughout this Cup. The Ninjas have yet to win a single game in this bracket, and their future looks grim as they go up against the Moons in today's matchup. Will the Ninjas be able to survive in this grueling bracket?

"Moving on to our interesting matches of the day, we have mid-tier teams Meridell and Maraqua going head to head today. Although the Mermaids have had a rough start to the Cup, they seem to have bounced back and will make this matchup one to watch! The results of the side games could go to either team making this matchup a suspenseful one for sure. Darigan Citadel and Mystery Island as well as Faerieland and Haunted Woods will have their chance at a rematch today to settle the scores from yesterday's games. Will the victors be able to have a repeat performance? Or will they fall short in today's match?

"That's it for today's report. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a slushie that is in dire need of attention. This is Matt signing off."
 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

 

Good day to you all, and welcome back to The Daily Neopets' coverage of this year's Altador Cup! This is Brooke, reporting from right here in our very own studio! Mostly because it would appear Matt got lonely and took to unlawfully detaining other members of staff to stave off the loneliness. Our boss thought he might be in need of.... supervision. So here I am, indoors, on what turned out to be a beautiful day. To babysit.

 

Brooke notices Matt looking at her with a rather... sad expression.

 

Oh! I mean... to help out? It's not that I don't enjoy the company of my fellow reporter! I just... I don't get out much. Anyway, I guess I'd better get on with the report... if I can dislodge my foot from my mouth! To the Alabriss Bracket!

 

Mermaids met Moons today as the last match of the round kicked off. Maraqua's scores across the board have been very consistent this week, and they were just no match for Kreludor's consistently higher scores. It's been an all-or-nothing sort of week for the Mermaids, as they've either swept or been swept every day. The Moons have pulled off a sweep every single day of round one, making them the top team of the bracket! Time will tell if Kreludor will be brought back to earth, or will continue to be out of this world!

 

In the next match, as the Lost Desert swept in like a bad sandstorm to defeat the Rooligans. It's been a mixed bag of results for Roo Island, whereas the Mummies have managed sweeps in four out of five days of play. It will be interesting to see what happens as they face stronger teams in the next round.

 

Lastly, but certainly not least, Krawk Island achieved their first sweep of the year against the Magmas, who have been shutout every single day so far. The Pirates have still managed to stay in the top half of the standings, but we all know how quickly things can change in the Altador Cup! Hopefully tomorrow's day off will give Moltara a chance to regroup for the next round.

 

Now, I was going to turn things over to Midtime, but he's been given the day off, as he seems to have spent several hours locked in a broom closet. Poor guy was last seen staggering down the hallway mumbling about the smell of cleanser. So I guess I'll handle the Minitheus bracket as well!

 

No one was particularly surprised by the results of the match between Virtupets and Faerieland, where the sweep seemed all but inevitable. The Faeries have been working their sparkling butts off to stay off the bottom, particularly in Yooyuball, but ultimately came up short against the Robots. Despite being a formidable force last year, the Robots have been struggling this year and are currently in the bottom third of the standings.

 

Next up, the light met the darkness as Altador took on the Darigan Citadel. The Minions have been doing very well this year, but they very nearly fumbled on the field today as the a bottom-tier team drew with them at Yooyuball. Darigan Citadel rallied, however, and swept the side events.

 

Finally, Meridell and Shenkuu went at it on the field and off, bringing mixed results in the final match of the round. The valiant Knights pulled off wins in both Yooyuball and Make Some Noise. The Ninjas are currently holding onto a position in the top half of the standings, but they only managed draws in their remaining two events against the Knights, who currently vie for the top position overall.

 

That wraps up the Minitheus bracket! It is my pleasure to hand things over to my patient and handsome, if a bit frightening, colleague. Take it away, Matt!

 

"Thanks Brooke! I'm glad there's somebody else in the studio with me today, I'm not as lonely anymore! My friend has escaped, however… but no worries, let's wrap up this report with the results from the Vaeolus Bracket.

 

"Diving straight into the first match, the Chillers were able to cause an uproar on the Yooyuball field today as Team Captain Prytariel was able to lead her team to victory against the Zombies. Although coming close to winning in Shootout Showdown, the Zombies were unable to prevent the Chillers from pulling out the brooms in today's match. We have received reports that all roads to Terror Mountain have been blocked due to an avalanche caused by fans celebrating the spectacular victory. How will I buy some delicious ice cream now? I mean… I hope everyone in the Terror Mountain area stays safe. This marks the second sweep for the Chillers within three days. With an upcoming bracket change right around the corner, how will the Chillers and the Zombies fare in their new brackets?

 

"Brightvale and Mystery Island clashed on the field today, and contrary to our expectations the Natives were able to take the overall win in today's matchup. It seems the Wizards were low on energy today as the Natives' offense scored goals with ease. The Wizards' fans were also less than motivational in Make Some Noise today with a score of one. The Natives were able to drown out the Wizards' fans in today's matchup, supporting Volgoth and his team as they scored goals taking the win in Yooyuball as well. All was not lost for the Wizards as they were able to rally together and cleanly obtain a win in Shootout Showdown, and forced officials to declare a draw in Slushie Slinger. The amount of excess slushies produced in this match was insane! Hopefully Brightvale will use this bye day to rest up and better prepare themselves for the challenges that lay ahead in their next bracket.

 

"The two powerhouses of the Vaeolus Bracket, Tyrannia and Kiko Lake once again faced off on the field. Kiko Lake cleanly swept the Fossils in all games today. The upcoming bracket changes will prove useful for the Fossils as they try to avoid being put in a bracket with the Kikos again. However, for Kiko Lake, all eyes will focus on them as many spectators are wondering if they'll be able to maintain this spectacular level of performance. As of this moment, the Kikos are the team to defeat in this Cup.

 

"There are no interesting matches to watch as today is a bye day! Many teams will be resting up and evaluating their performances to make improvements. With bracket changes around the corner, will Tyrannia finally get their time to shine? Will Kiko Lake continue to dominate in this Cup? These questions will be answered in the near future, but as for now, this is Matt reporting to you live from the studio along with my co-host for the day, Brooke, signing off."

 

 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

 

Greetings, citizens, and welcome to the madness! The tenth Altador Cup has begun, and we're here to bring you the comprehensive results. This is Brooke, reporting for The Daily Neopets. I'm coming to you from just outside the Yooyuball stadium, where it's been quite the first day! The fans are buzzing, and not just the Buzzes! All the competitors are starting fresh, and we're excited to bring you the results of their endeavours.

Let's get started with the Alabriss bracket, where the competition was fierce and the sweeps were plentiful.

The Lost Desert faced off with Moltara today in a series of heated matches that awed and impressed the spectators. The scores were close as the Mummies swept the Magmas, particularly in Make Some Noise, where they managed only a one-point victory. The gaps were only a smidge wider in the other three events, but ultimately the Mummies were the victors today.

In the next match-up of the bracket, it was Maraqua's turn to do the sweeping, defeating Krawk Island in all four events. The Mermaids beat the Pirates by decent margins in Shootout Showdown and Slushie Slinger, but found their victories in the other two games a little more hard-won. Elon Hughlis was spotted after the Yooyuball match buying a round of slushies for his team, and in his enthusiasm and jubilation, a round for Garven Hale's team as well. "So we lost," Garven told this reporter with a shrug. "But gosh, we had fun today!"

Roo Island took on Kreludor in the last pairing of the bracket, and were soundly swept under the table. The Rooligans held their own with consistent scores across the board, but they were overwhelmed by doubled or nearly doubled scores from the Moons. Kreludor excelled in all four games, but truly defied gravity with their excellent score in Shootout Showdown.

Now let's take a look at the Minitheus bracket, where things really start to get interesting!

Meridell and the Darigan Citadel went head-to-head today, and the results were close. The Knights squeaked out a victory on the Yooyuball field, as well as in Make Some Noise, but the Minions were able to turn the tables when it came to slinging frozen juicy goodness. In the final event, the teams were ultimately deadlocked, making it more of a Shootout Stalemate than a showdown.

Next up, Virtupets took on the mighty team from Shenkuu and found them to be a bigger challenge than they might have thought. The Robots pulled off a reasonable win on the Yooyuball field, but were shown the door in all the side games. The Ninjas were just a few steps ahead of their foes when it came down to it, but their wins are sure to encourage them as they face tomorrow's opponents.

In the last match of the bracket, two historically low-ranked teams duked it out with mixed results. Faerieland managed a win on the Yooyuball field and another in Shootout Showdown, whereas Altador's strength came shining through slinging slushies. But when it came to Make Some Noise, it looks like the Faeries' fans were equally as enthused as the Suns', resulting in a draw for the event.

Now, I'll turn things over to Matt, who will bring you the results of the Vaeolus bracket. Matt?

"Yes! Thank you Brooke! I'm sure the fans are overjoyed with the performance of all the teams today. Let's head straight into the results of the Vaeolus Bracket.

"Kiko Lake took the tournament by storm today as they were able to sweep two-time champion Haunted Woods. Kiko Lake's performance throughout the Cups have been steadily improving and with the scores the Kikos were able to produce in today's match, they are a serious contender for the Cup this year. As for the Zombies, they seem to be heavily affected by the "winner's curse". Haunted Woods will need to dig themselves out of the current slump they are in quickly if they are to have a chance at an upper tier finish this Cup.

"In our next match, another sweep occurred today as podium contender Tyrannia went head to head with the Natives today. Tyrannia was able to sweep the Natives today, with an exceptional performance in Make Some Noise. Team Captain Loryche was able to rile up the fans today to produce shattering scores. Cheers could even be heard a few stadiums down!

"Moving on to our final matchup of the day, the Brightvale Wizards against the Terror Mountain Chillers! The match ended in a near sweep in favor of the Chillers, however, the Wizards were able to hold their ground in Slushie Slinger, forcing a tie. The Chillers seem determined this year to become the team that they once were, and their match against Kiko Lake today will certainly test their resolve.

"That does it for the Vaeolus Bracket results! Let's find out which of the matches today are worth spectating!

"Darigan Citadel and Virtupets will be clashing it out on the Yooyuball field today. Both former champions are sure to provide unparalleled entertainment today! The results will be close for sure! Two-time champion Haunted Woods will face off against Mystery Island today. Suffering slightly from the "winner's curse", the Zombies are equally matched against the Natives, and a close outcome is expected.

"That wraps up our report today. Reporting to you live from the newsroom, on behalf of Brooke and our Altador Cup coverage staff, this is Matt signing off. We'll see you tomorrow, Neopians."
 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

Congratulations! I'm so glad things have gone well so far! I'll definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward. :)

Awwww, I like owls!

Well,I do think I do approve? :P

My guess is just that so many people are trying to get back on at once that the server can't handle the load. Probably nothing to do with the new server itself, just the fact that there's rarely this many individuals accessing the site at one time!

I wasn't really sad about losing my Habitarium until I read this thread. Thanks for the tears, guys. D:

It might appease Livvy, but it does not appease me.

Personally, I've always experienced periods of lag. Especially the last few months. I don't think it particularly portends doom. :P Especially given that we have been assured that there will be adequate notice.

 

It's a big change, a little anxiety is reasonable. But let's not hurt ourselves or anything!

Happy birthday to both of you! Mine was yesterday. Hopefully you get more awesome random events than I did! (Not a single one all day!)

My husband is allergic to cats, but we're both definitely cat people.

 

So we got a puppy.

 

Go figure.

I like kitties! :O

FOILED AGAIN!

Wow, somebody should bake Lampy a cake. :D

Welcome to the site, new friend! :D

Hm.... nope. :D

THE FUN HAS ARRIVED! /Terk from Tarzan voice :D

Very impressive, guys. It's been a while since I've checked in here. But a little bird told me you guys were getting too good at this. ;)

Good morning, sports fans! This is Brooke, proudly welcoming you to the last day of The Daily Neopets' Altador Cup coverage. It's been quite the interesting month, what with the violence and the subterfuge, the rocks and the cardboard cutouts... and the sports, of course! Before we congratulate the winners, let's see how things went for everyone on the last day of play.

Monday's results featured a record number of sweeps: eight out of nine match-ups! The sweeps started in the Alabriss Bracket, where Kiko Lake really gave it their all against the Lost Desert. The Kikos pulled off their highest scores of the season at the last minute, giving them seven- and eight-point wins in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. The Kikos' scores put them in sixth, just shy of the fourth-place tie, and the Mummies' in sixteenth, just short of the thirteenth-place tie.

The Magmas went up against the Minions on Monday, and, unsurprisingly, took their third sweep in as many days. Moltara exhibited a certain weakness in Yooyuball this year, but while this was their closest game with the Darigan Citadel, they still managed to pull ahead by a point. The side events were all taken by quite a few points. The Magmas took us all by surprise this year, rocketing to the podium after several years at the bottom of the heap. They took third place this year by an impressive margin, leaving Darigan Citadel behind them and tied for fourth.

In the last match of the Alabriss Bracket, Meridell took on the Haunted Woods. The Zombies predictably wiped the floor with the Knights, who put up slightly higher-than-average scores, but were ultimately unable to put a dent in the armor of the Altador Cup's new giants. After last year's ninth-place finish, the Zombies improved leaps and bounds to become the first ever repeat-winners of the coveted cup. Meridell landed in ninth place this year, which is a bit of a drop from last year, but still a modest sh-

[A stream of dust pours from the ceiling and onto the desk. Brooke examines the pile, examines the ceiling, shrugs, and brushes the dust from the desk.]

Showing. Next up, the Minitheus Bracket!

Maraqua and Tyrannia kicked things off with a close and heated battle on the Yooyuball field. While the Fossils' scores were a smidge lower on Monday than their average, the Mermaids' were right in line with their average, allowing the Fossils' to take the sweep. It's been a hard year for Maraqua, despite their Centre Forward, Elon Hughlis, being the second best goal scorer overall. Their large size proved to be something of a downfall for them, pulling them into twelfth place in the final standings. Meanwhile, last year's victors, Tyrannia, netted themselves a fourth-place tie, avoiding the embarrassment of failing hard right after winning big.

The Pirates met the Robots in our next match, and bravely faced their second sweeping in as many days. Krawk Island performed as well as could be expected, but were no match for Virtupets' consistently higher scores. The Pirates took eight place this year, which is their lowest position to date, but their Goalkeeper, Garven Hale, assured us that they've learned a lot this year and will be a force to be reckoned with next season. The Robots had us all intimidated from the get-go, pulling off an impressive ten straight matches without so much as a single draw. They weren't swept once, and their consistent strength carried them to a solid second-place victory.

Shenkuu and Mystery Island went head-to-head on Monday in the only matchup that wasn't a complete sweep. The Natives may have bested the Ninjas soundly in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown, but Shenkuu crept up on Mystery Island for a very close game on the Yooyuball field, and rallied for a draw in Slushie Slinger. Shenkuu's history in the AC has been a mixed bag of positions, and this year placed them in the second-lowest spot they've held yet. They landed right in the middle of a cushy three-way tie for thirteenth. The Natives experienced a significant drop in ranks last year, and are slowly working their way back up. They climbed four places up from last year's showing to land in eleventh.

Finally, let's look at the results of th-

[Several pieces of debris fall from the ceiling now, along with a significantly larger stream of dust than before. Brooke's notes are covered, and she is temporarily obscured from view by clouds of white dust. She coughs and flutters her papers, dispelling some of the dust. She peers up at the ceiling, irritated, then shakes her head and clears her throat.]

[a bit hoarsely] How rude! I hope the ceiling can keep itself together until I finish the Vaeolus Bracket!

The Moons swept the Chillers in a series of rather close events, though by smaller margins than last time the teams met. Terror Mountain closed out the season with three sweeps in a row, but managed to get in on the three-way tie for thirteenth with Shenkuu and Roo Island. Both Terror Mountain and Kreludor tied with their own record-lowest positions, as Kreludor cruised in at seventh place, just as they did last year.

The Rooligans bounced all over the Faeries in their second and last meeting. Roo Island started things off with a hat-trick of losses against some very powerful teams, but their consistency paid off in Monday's match against Faerieland. Overall the Roos wound up in a three-way tie for thirteenth place, a bit disappointing after last year's spot on the podium. The Faeries managed, once again, to avoid placing dead last, edging out the Suns by just a few points for seventeenth place.

And last but not least, (except... technically they are...) Altador came up against Brightvale. Brightvale lucked out with three sweeps this bracket, after only one other sweep in the rest of the season. Over the last few years, the Wizards have been slowly making their way up from their last-place finish, and finished off this year in tenth place. The Suns experienced a startling plummet to the bottom of the pile after their astonishing second-place finish last year. They've definitely proven they can surprise us, so who knows what will happen next year?

In both summary and conclusion, we would like to congratulate the winners: the Haunted Woods Zombies have won Altador Cup IX! This officially makes them the only team to win the Cup more than once. The Virtupets Robots took second place, and the Moltaran Magmas took third. Congratulations to all the teams on their hard work, and congratulations to each and every one of you who supported your team with your own time and effort!

[Orange and black confetti bursts from offscreen, as the rest of the TDN AC coverage team, minus Austin, joins Brooke in front of the camera, brooms in hand.]

On behalf of myself, Lydia, Midtime, Matt, Hanna, Livvy, LivCat, Nadia, the camerapeople, the interns, our savagely underpaid maintenance staff, and the whole crew here at The Daily Neopets, we would like to thank you for choosing us for your Altador Cup IX coverage. It's been an honour to bring you complete, up-to-date, and interesting news! Thanking you again, this is Brooke, signi-

[There is a great rumbling from above, and the staff look up as one. The ceiling collapses down onto their heads, filling the room with heavy dust. The camera recalibrates, and the smoke begins to clear. In the middle of the room, in the very center of the devastation, stands a familiar, mustachioed figure.]

"Hey guys, what did I miss?"

[There is a collective groan. "AUSTIN!"]

[The screen fades to black.]

To view the official standings, claim your trophy, and browse the prize shop, click here!

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).