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frozenpancakes

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I just need to vent a little bit about this. My grandfather is driving me crazy. He is very defensive, hypocritical, and he "jokes" all the time. (His jokes are usually meant to provoke me).

 

One thing he does is make a mess constantly, and then yell at me because it's messy. He then takes credit for cleaning once I've cleaned. Even when I confront him about taking the credit, he insists he does most of the cleaning. In reality, all he does is sweep the floor.

 

He also lies about things constantly (like taking credit above). For example, today I found my Xbox cord unplugged from the wall and from the power brick and thrown on the floor. The first thing he told me is that the dogs had peed on the cord, which made no sense because he hadn't picked the cord up. I asked again later and he told me that he had laid a box of dog food on it, and the cord had disconnected when he picked the box back up. Considering the cord was flat on the floor to begin with, I don't really understand how that works either.

 

He also yells constantly. He mostly yells when he's getting defensive, e.g. whenever anyone says anything that could possibly be considered "against" him. He tries to intimidate me, I think because I'm 17 and approaching adulthood and he feels threatened.

 

He will also go out of his way to do things "his way", even if that way is idiotic or even dangerous. He doesn't follow anyone's suggestions. For example, he leaves doors open (even though we have had ticks in our house and have had snakes on our deck), he throws food to the dogs instead of giving it to them (even though we have had bad dog fights over this before), and he uses an electric tiller in the garden (even though it tears up the plants).

 

He also teases my 2-year-old cousin to the point of tears, and will even continue teasing her once she's crying. He insists it's her fault, because he is "just playing with her".

 

I think he does a lot of these things because he is old. Maybe his memory is not the best. He also is very stubborn. Like I said above, he still regards me as a child and refuses to accept that he will not be in charge of me after a while. He also has never had any "real" control of me, since my grandmother has always been my "parent".

 

Even though he has valid reasons for his... stubborness... it still infuriates me. I'm just glad I won't have to deal with this once I'm outta here.

 

If you actually read all of my whining, congratulations! You win absolutely nothing.

 

Thank you, though. Feels good to vent.

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Aw, geez. I know how it feels to deal with someone like that. Try to have patience, alright? *hugs* You won't have to be around him forever. Hang in there. ^^

 

I'm trying. Sometimes he can be alright, but for some reason he feels the need to be a jerk 95% of the time.

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Aw, this sucks! But it's true - you're very close to NOT having to deal with it every day, so hang in there... It's so hard to live with someone who is confrontational and I'm sorry that in your case it has to be your grandfather :(

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How old is your grandfather? There's a sad chance that these behavioural problems are something like dementia, not just him being a jerk. Unless he's always been like this?

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How old is your grandfather? There's a sad chance that these behavioural problems are something like dementia, not just him being a jerk. Unless he's always been like this?

 

He is in his early 60's, I believe. He's been like this as long as I have been old enough to notice, which is not really long enough to tell if he's always been like this since I'm only 17.

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That sounds really difficult to live with, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I know it can be especially hard when someone holds a position of power over you (especially in a parental/ guardian type role) and they abuse it. It's good that you're aware of what's going on and how he's affecting you. Often in these situations, the victim will either be unaware that anything is wrong or downright blame themselves for the situation.

The daily drag of having to put up with this is a really brave thing to push through. It might not seem like much to some people, but I know how it can really wear you down when it's someone you live with.

 

I hope you do well at home and feel safe, and know that we're always happy to be here on TDN <3

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