frozenpancakes Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I've been dating this guy for over 2 years long distance, and recently I've started to notice how immature he's becoming :/ Ah well. At least I'll still have Neopets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rntracy1 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I've been dating this guy for over 2 years long distance, and recently I've started to notice how immature he's becoming :/ Ah well. At least I'll still have Neopets. He has probably always been immature. You are probably just beginning to notice it more as you are becoming more mature. At 17, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know you probably hear that all the time. I used to think, "ahh, adults, you people don't know know what you are talking about. I LOVE so and so." Trust me, 17 is way too young to tie yourself down to someone, especially long distance, for 2 years. Go out, date, have fun, live a little. There are so many people to meet. battlegirl87, nightfall8705 and LillytheGrundo 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musical_Shoyru Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 The world is not a huge supporter of a long relationships. If you look at the norm nowadays; teens seem to have a new crush/boyfriend/girlfriend every two weeks. EVERYONE has a mature and an Immature side. Before you go and decide to break up with someone you NEED to remember why you started dating him in the first place. Make a list of the things you love about this person and a list of things that bug you. You will NOT find someone who is going to be perfect and who isn't going to annoy you every once and a while. I started dating my boyfriend at 17 I lived in the same city with him for about 3 years and now I live in Texas for Ministry training. our fourth year of our relationship we've been apart. I've seen him once (IN JULY) and will see him again in (December). It's been hard, really hard and there's been many times I've wanted to give up, but I didn't. Our relationship has blossomed because I've constantly had the drive to hold on when all else is lost. Despite what the world thinks, being young and having a relationship and getting married is a wonderful thing! A lot of people say how you should wait for those things? Why? Isn't life about adventure? Relationships are a HUGE adventure, just because you have one does not tie you down! You don't have to go out and "live a little", I really hate that. What's wrong with staying with one person the rest of your life? Many people have lost sight of the beauty of having one person the rest of you life. A relationship lasts longer when it's fought for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozenpancakes Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 He has probably always been immature. You are probably just beginning to notice it more as you are becoming more mature. At 17, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know you probably hear that all the time. I used to think, "ahh, adults, you people don't know know what you are talking about. I LOVE so and so." Trust me, 17 is way too young to tie yourself down to someone, especially long distance, for 2 years. Go out, date, have fun, live a little. There are so many people to meet. I agree, but it's such a huge event to break up, and he had a huge fit the last time I tried last year. I'm too soft, I guess. Haha. I feel bad for him. The world is not a huge supporter of a long relationships. If you look at the norm nowadays; teens seem to have a new crush/boyfriend/girlfriend every two weeks. EVERYONE has a mature and an Immature side. Before you go and decide to break up with someone you NEED to remember why you started dating him in the first place. Make a list of the things you love about this person and a list of things that bug you. You will NOT find someone who is going to be perfect and who isn't going to annoy you every once and a while. I started dating my boyfriend at 17 I lived in the same city with him for about 3 years and now I live in Texas for Ministry training. our fourth year of our relationship we've been apart. I've seen him once (IN JULY) and will see him again in (December). It's been hard, really hard and there's been many times I've wanted to give up, but I didn't. Our relationship has blossomed because I've constantly had the drive to hold on when all else is lost. Despite what the world thinks, being young and having a relationship and getting married is a wonderful thing! A lot of people say how you should wait for those things? Why? Isn't life about adventure? Relationships are a HUGE adventure, just because you have one does not tie you down! You don't have to go out and "live a little", I really hate that. What's wrong with staying with one person the rest of your life? Many people have lost sight of the beauty of having one person the rest of you life. A relationship lasts longer when it's fought for. The only problem is I really don't see me marrying this guy unless he grows up. We had a good run but I'm becoming an adult and he isn't, mentally at the very least. This post has been edited by a member of staff (Spritzie) because of a violation of the forum rules. Please don't double post. If your post is the most recent reply and you would like to add something, use the 'Edit' button. Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozenpancakes Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 am speaking here as if it were me and i was in your situation: if i already tried breaking up with someone, and was thinking about it again, no amount of 'i;ll change; or 'but i love you' from him will change anything. just do it and move on with your life. long distance relationships dont work for me, anyway. no need to burn any bridges, but facts are facts: you;ve tried to end the relationship once already, and are thinking about it again. just do it. but this is just me and how i would handle the situation. You're probably right, I need to rip him off like a bandaid. I'll give it a month or so to think it over so I'm sure, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozenpancakes Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 lol, i both agree and disagree- bandaid- rip, rip, rip, yes, yes, yes. BUT i love to think about things forever and all the way through and analyze and overthink things. just to be sure. but if it were me, and you already tried to break up once before, lol, i think you;ve had enough time. but to each their own. also, in my own personal experience and humble opinion, guys have very delicate egos, and can get really nasty when they get dumped. dont be surprised if he lashes out. dont take it personal. Oh gosh he does have a fragile ego. We have a mutual friend that he always gets all jealous about. It's ridiculous because she's a girl and she's definitely not interested in other girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muertadivina Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Hello. Follow your heart. If you're finding yourself unhappy in this relationship for whatever reasons, moving on might not be such a bad idea. Believe me, I am a great supporter of the long term relationship. However, i don't feel you should have to settle for something or be obligated to make it work. It's not like you two have children, property, or assets together. You are very young and will continue to grow and change every year of your life. I suggest you focus on yourself, and what you want out of life. Maybe you'll draw to you a person who fits your life better in the future. In the grand scheme of things, two years is really nothing...just a drop in the pond Good luck with whatever path you take... BTW, as you well know, no relationship will ever be void of problems. You just need to find the one perfect for you. nightfall8705 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rntracy1 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 The world is not a huge supporter of a long relationships. If you look at the norm nowadays; teens seem to have a new crush/boyfriend/girlfriend every two weeks. EVERYONE has a mature and an Immature side. Before you go and decide to break up with someone you NEED to remember why you started dating him in the first place. Make a list of the things you love about this person and a list of things that bug you. You will NOT find someone who is going to be perfect and who isn't going to annoy you every once and a while. I started dating my boyfriend at 17 I lived in the same city with him for about 3 years and now I live in Texas for Ministry training. our fourth year of our relationship we've been apart. I've seen him once (IN JULY) and will see him again in (December). It's been hard, really hard and there's been many times I've wanted to give up, but I didn't. Our relationship has blossomed because I've constantly had the drive to hold on when all else is lost. Despite what the world thinks, being young and having a relationship and getting married is a wonderful thing! A lot of people say how you should wait for those things? Why? Isn't life about adventure? Relationships are a HUGE adventure, just because you have one does not tie you down! You don't have to go out and "live a little", I really hate that. What's wrong with staying with one person the rest of your life? Many people have lost sight of the beauty of having one person the rest of you life. A relationship lasts longer when it's fought for. First of all, nobody said that there is anything wrong with a long term relationship or with staying with one person for the rest of your life. However, at 17 yrs old, there is NO NEED what so ever, to stay with someone that she has already thought about breaking up with before. Why not experience life, date other people, and see if this is really the person she wants to be with? If it is truly meant to be, it will be. Second of all, and I speak from YEARS of experience, just because you are 21, and have been with your boyfriend for 4 yrs, doesn't mean that your relationship will last forever either. I wish you the best, but you never know what the future holds. I was 16 when I started dating my oldest son's father, my first boyfriend, "the love of my life." Or so I thought, at 16. We were together for 5 yrs, lived together from 19 until we broke up at 21, and obviously had a child together. We both thought it would last forever. We were each other's first. After we broke up, I dated a lot. And many different types of people. I didn't go for certain looks, or personalities. I dated a wide variety of people. I finally met my husband, got married, had another child, and we have been together now for almost 20 yrs, (as long as you have been alive) and married for 15 yrs. Whether you want to believe it or not, most people who stray in their marriages do so because they were too young and/or didn't have experience with dating other people. I had faith that if I was meant to be with my son's father, I would be. So I went on with my life, enjoyed myself, and "lived a little :happydance: ." It was the BEST thing I ever did, because I met my husband. He is the most wonderful person in the world. He treats me like a queen and he is the TRUE love of my life! :wub_anim: If I had fought to stay with someone, for my son, or to make it work, or for the adventure, I would be pretty unhappy now. Sometimes you need to let go to find true happiness. I agree, but it's such a huge event to break up, and he had a huge fit the last time I tried last year. I'm too soft, I guess. Haha. I feel bad for him. The only problem is I really don't see me marrying this guy unless he grows up. We had a good run but I'm becoming an adult and he isn't, mentally at the very least. This post has been edited by a member of staff (Spritzie) because of a violation of the forum rules. Please don't double post. If your post is the most recent reply and you would like to add something, use the 'Edit' button. Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules. Yes, sometimes it can be very hard to break up, I hear you. But believe me, it is worse to keep string him along. It is better to let him get on with his life too. You are not doing him any favors by staying with him JUST BECAUSE he wants you to, if your heart truly isn't in it. If you really don't see marriage in your future with him, cut the ties, and move on to something with a future. Honestly, and I speak from years of experience, there is NOTHING wrong with long term relationships, but at 17 yrs old, think about yourself right now. Think about your future, your education, your friends, fun, travel, casual dating, (that doesn't mean giving yourself to everyone) and setting yourself up for success. You have plenty of time for relationships. And when you least expect it, it will probably happen, like it did for me. Good luck. muertadivina 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musical_Shoyru Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 First of all, nobody said that there is anything wrong with a long term relationship or with staying with one person for the rest of your life. However, at 17 yrs old, there is NO NEED what so ever, to stay with someone that she has already thought about breaking up with before. Why not experience life, date other people, and see if this is really the person she wants to be with? If it is truly meant to be, it will be. Second of all, and I speak from YEARS of experience, just because you are 21, and have been with your boyfriend for 4 yrs, doesn't mean that your relationship will last forever either. I wish you the best, but you never know what the future holds. I was 16 when I started dating my oldest son's father, my first boyfriend, "the love of my life." Or so I thought, at 16. We were together for 5 yrs, lived together from 19 until we broke up at 21, and obviously had a child together. We both thought it would last forever. We were each other's first. After we broke up, I dated a lot. And many different types of people. I didn't go for certain looks, or personalities. I dated a wide variety of people. I finally met my husband, got married, had another child, and we have been together now for almost 20 yrs, (as long as you have been alive) and married for 15 yrs. Whether you want to believe it or not, most people who stray in their marriages do so because they were too young and/or didn't have experience with dating other people. I had faith that if I was meant to be with my son's father, I would be. So I went on with my life, enjoyed myself, and "lived a little :happydance: ." It was the BEST thing I ever did, because I met my husband. He is the most wonderful person in the world. He treats me like a queen and he is the TRUE love of my life! :wub_anim: If I had fought to stay with someone, for my son, or to make it work, or for the adventure, I would be pretty unhappy now. Sometimes you need to let go to find true happiness. Yes, sometimes it can be very hard to break up, I hear you. But believe me, it is worse to keep string him along. It is better to let him get on with his life too. You are not doing him any favors by staying with him JUST BECAUSE he wants you to, if your heart truly isn't in it. If you really don't see marriage in your future with him, cut the ties, and move on to something with a future. Honestly, and I speak from years of experience, there is NOTHING wrong with long term relationships, but at 17 yrs old, think about yourself right now. Think about your future, your education, your friends, fun, travel, casual dating, (that doesn't mean giving yourself to everyone) and setting yourself up for success. You have plenty of time for relationships. And when you least expect it, it will probably happen, like it did for me. Good luck. I never said that I was talking about you whatsoever. No need to take offense. However, you can know a relationship is going to last forever, especially when God brought you to that person. I KNOW I'll be marrying him. I'd rather date one person and that be the one I married then say I've dated several people, kissed several people and been with several people that were NOT my husband. My boyfriend and I won't even kiss as we're saving our first kiss for our marriage and saving our purity for each other. I think the REALLY big problem and I do not say this to offend, is people live and sleep with they're boyfriends before marriage. It's almost like when we do that we're telling the guy that "he can have the milk without having to pay for the cow" so to speak. Why would a guy want to be tied down with marriage when he gets everything that marriage "offers"? I am by NO means saying you don't have experience, I believe you have lots and I try to be VERY respectful of people older than me. However I assure you I'm not like other young people; I haven't kissed, made out, slept with my boyfriend and I won't live with or do any of these things until I have married myself to him, then and only then will we share that union of oneness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marissa Beee c: Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 In the end, it is all up to you as to whether or not you stick it out. Seeing as you have tried breaking it off with him once before, and you are feeling that same way again, it is likely that you will experience the same feeling if you continue with the relationship. Im not saying that every relationship is perfect or that there ever was one, but if you seem to find yourself feeling this way more often than not, maybe it is best for you to do away with it and focus on yourself. and neopets c: There is so much time for boys and dating. Worry about you and your schooling, friends, games, interests, and future. Everything else will fall into place c: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightfall8705 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I have to agree with muertadivina's comment. If you are unhappy for whatever reason, and you communicate that reason, and if things can't change or be compromised and worked out, then you have no choice but to move on. Life is too short to be held down. That being said, long distance relationships are extra delicate, but just because that is so, it doesn't mean that they can't work. They can, but sometimes the extra effort isn't enough, if both of you don't pull your own weight, or if circumstances get in the way. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy I met in person before for years, even engaged during those years to him, and sometimes, things just happen... we drifted away to do our own thing until certain circumstances worked themselves out (actually, to be blunt, his mother developed terminal cancer and he is her sole care provider) and he couldn't take the stress of his mother's illness, college, his job, and a relationship too. It was too much at the time, and I had my own things going on. We're still close friends, and maybe perhaps we'll get back together someday, but such is so with any relationship. If it's meant to be, there'll always be a way for the two of you to work out. Follow your heart, love. Deep down, you know which way is the right way to go in this relationship. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psmucker3 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 The exact same situation was happening to me last year when I moved away to college. I dated a guy all throughout senior year in high school up until this past summer. I found that when I moved onto college (he is a year younger than me, therefore was still in high school), I was constantly experiencing new things, especially living in a big city. Although I do not think of myself as 'above' my ex, I do believe he still has a lot of growing up to do. Yes, it was very hard to get used to the idea of breaking up with this guy I had spent the past two years of my life with….BUT eventually I realized it was the best decision I have made in awhile. You need to focus on yourself, especially if you are still a young adult. It is SO important to experience personal growth independent of a relationship. Do not tie yourself down with one guy. I'm sure there are very valid reasons you are so into him, but if you have ANY feelings of doubt…please do yourself a favor and free yourself!!! So many people end up spending the rest of their lives with a person simply because it is the only relationship they know or what they believe feels right. Perhaps once he does some soul-searching and maturing, you two will reconnect down the road! Good luck, I think you know what is best for your personal happiness. think long term consequences. can you really see yourself with this guy for the rest of your life? If not, you will have to breakup up eventually. Better to do it now while you are young and have so many other men waiting to sweep you off your feet :) xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.