Superfly Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 HAHA, that is a good one! man, it made me laugh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midtime Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Here's another: A flight attendant had problems stopping people from getting up before the seat-belt sign was turned off. One day, at the end of the flight, after the usual announcements she added:"All who would like to assist me in cleaning the cabin, please stand up before the seat-belt sign is turned off." No-one got up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meeptroid Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 A panda walked into a restaurant and ordered a sandwich. When he finished, he pulled out a gun and started shooting randomly, scaring the customers, before turning to leave. The shocked manager said, "Hey, where are you going?" The panda said to the manager, "I'm a panda, look it up." and went off. The definition for panda in the dictionary is: "A tree-dwelling animal of Asian origin characterized by distinct black & white markings. Eats shoots and leaves." Edit: The punch line is in the last sentence. I knew I should've tamed that panda a little better! :P Pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy ♥ Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I like the lawyer one, I sent it to my mum (she works in a legal office). Keep them coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 Three people are hiking through the mountains. After a while, they realise that they are lost. Two of them immediately start working with a map and a compass to try and find out where they are. The third person says: "There's no need to bother with that when you have a GPS!" Having said that, he proudly produced a GPS navigator and pronounced: "I know where we are! We're on that mountain over there!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie_kofoed1980 Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 You've got to love this principal According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers.... and then there are educators. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOPGhost Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 My friend's dad is a teacher and told me that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie_kofoed1980 Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 someone sent it to me on an email :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superfly Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 LOL that one is great, nice one!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted December 18, 2006 Author Share Posted December 18, 2006 That's one smart principal. A person sent his resume to a company, with "Curriculum Vitae" on the top and his name just underneath. The company's reply read: "Dear Mr. Vitae" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midtime Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 One day a man walked into a pet shop and asked for a very unusual pet."I know just the thing you want." said the shop assistant. "A clever centipede." The man was very happy with his new pet. It did all the work for him-- cooking, cleaning, even ironing. One day, he asked the centipede to get a newspaper, since he had forgotten to get one on the way home. "Sure." was the reply. The man waited one hour. Two hours. Three hours. There was no sign of the centipede. Eventually he went to look. Finding the centipede on the stairs, he demanded, "Where have you been?" "Nowhere," said the centipede. "I'm still putting my boots on." By the way, most of our jokes are from Readers' Digest-- If you can't find any, look there. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 One thing you can do while stuck in a really slow elevator: take a briefcase, put a clock in it, and put the briefcase in the corner. When someone else comes in, say: "Do you hear ticking?". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awesome_Paul Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 here is 1 i found off a Penguin Bar (UK, choclate bar with joke, notr sure if its anywheer else) What did the Fish say when he hit a wall? Answeer: DAM! when i first read that, people could tel that i was happy for th day, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike. Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 My friend recently bet on 10 horses at a race. No pun in ten did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Here's a random one: Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meeptroid Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Here is a pun that I created: A man that was afraid of heights was looking for a job. When he finally found a decent job, he quit after he launched his career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike. Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I don't get it exactly. xD YOUR PUNS ARE NOT LIVING UP TO MY STANDARDS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superfly Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I don't get it exactly. xD YOUR PUNS ARE NOT LIVING UP TO MY STANDARDS. There were some great ones, back toward the begining Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike. Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Yeah I know. Metroid, you deserve an award. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meeptroid Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Yeah I know. Metroid, you deserve an award. Thank you. I believe I do have a nack for puns. :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike. Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 And I have it finished! =D I made it as small as I could. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superfly Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 :D lol, oh my, that is great mikey! *cough* congrats metroid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike. Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Haha thanks. I googled "pun" to get that image. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meeptroid Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Thank you Mikey! Hehe... MadCownald's...*Runs off to save image* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superfly Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 oh no, now we will never see the end of that graphic :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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