HomuraAkemiTheHero

There have been many times when I've found myself saying "all men are pigs" and so on. I've had to stop a second later and remind myself of the thousands of times that I've seen just as disgusting behaviour displayed by women. This is a universal problem. Not only that, but I've had to remember that I've personally known some truly chivalrous men who would literally jump into traffic if they needed to, not because they were showing off or it was their job, but because they were genuinely brave and willing to put themselves in harm's way to help someone who needed it. To help a man or women, it didn't matter which. They were simply raised right. It's such a shame that in all my 50 years, I can count the number of people like that on one hand and have fingers left over, yet there's not enough fingers and toes in my hometown to count the number of nasty, self-centered, and viciously narrow-minded people I've met within just the last decade. The problem just keeps getting worse and that's because no one's taking the time to be proper parents anymore and actually teach values to their children.
 
No, I don't mean religious values. I mean simple, plain ethics and common sense. It may have been attributed to the Bible, but what about "do unto others as you would have others do unto you"? Pretty simple and sensible. If you don't like being harassed and assaulted, why on Earth would you think that the person you're doing it to would enjoy it? The trick is to start teaching this to children when they're just starting out. Pre-schoolers and earlier if possible. As soon as they're starting to talk, start getting it into their heads that being nice is good and being mean is bad. Simple. Once you get that generation out into the world and thinking right, it should all start to fall into place. *crossing fingers* It begins with the very young because the older they are, the harder it is to teach them right from wrong. This generation is already pretty much shot, sad to say. (Thanks to the Yuppie generation, unfortunately.) They are all "me, me, me; gimme, gimme, gimme" and care little for anyone else.
 
Of course, there are exceptions and I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush. I'm also not trying to preach to anyone and tell them what to do. I'm merely sitting here and seeing a problem and offering a possible solution from my point of view. Teach the little ones that all colours are beautiful, that all people have value, and that it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl or someone who prefers the "company of their own gender" - ALL bullying and hate is wrong and needs to be stopped. Fat, thin, tall, short... none of that matters - there is beauty in being different. Find peaceful ways to resolve issues. Make friends, not enemies. Agree to disagree. Keep an open mind. For those who are in a religious frame of mind (not me, but I see where you're coming from): "those who are without sin: cast the first stone". Plain and simple logical ethics.
 
(Sorry again: Long winded. Preachy sounding. Meant no offense to anyone that might someone get the wrong idea. I never know when to shut up. *lol*)
 
Peace to all.

With regards to the Not All Men thing--
 
When we bash "Not All Men", it's NOT when the "not all men" thing was used in response to grouping all men with murderers. If someone calls you a murderer just because you're a man, you're free to use the argument. But that's not how it's being used. It seems a woman cannot have a conversation about rape, or about anything without some man taking things personally.
 
Case in point:
Woman: I feel really uncomfortable when I'm walking to the bus stop and men catcall me.
Man: I'm sorry SOME MEN do that to you, but you have to understand that not all men do that. It hurts my feelings that you said all men say that.
 
Notice that in the example I mentioned above, it does not say it is all men. It just says that the woman doesn't like it when it happens.
 
This was a made-up example, but I remember a case where a guy had fired a woman because he said he couldn't control himself around her. One woman said "If a man cannot control himself around women, what's to stop him from raping his patients?" TWENTY MEN jumped down her throat for not specifying that she was talking about one man. She then got a bunch of rape threats for having said it--from the very men who claimed that not all men are rapists.
 
Not All Men derails conversations, period. Nobody thinks it's all men, so it's a pointless argument that takes the focus off of actual victims. To even HAVE the "not all men" conversation is demeaning to the intelligences of men and women alike.

I can see why the Altador Cup is repetitive and the only reason I'm playing is because I love Shenkuu so much. I'm not caring for the winning I just want to have enough to get some books for my pets. I think they should make it easier to rank up at the beginning especially if they are during weekdays because most people can't play 4 hours or more to rank up and maybe only get 1 or 2 ranks up. Also I agree that they should add more games and perhaps more achievements and prizes to at least give some motivation to those who don't want to play due to the hackers grouping together for just one team.

After a bit of thinking I realized something. That something is that the sexist mindset starts very early now. In school one day there were two boys talking about how the one was going to get a new girlfriend (apparently it's cool for 10 to 11 year olds to get a girlfriend to be a part of the crowd and then drop them after a week and vise versa)
and the boy who I'm going to call Bob1 was talking to Bob2 saying that he could get any girl in the school if he wanted to and Bob2 agreed and at that point it was during lunch so I just moved to the other side of the table but that kind of thinking can grow and overtime it leads to the sexist adult male today and girls now are already criticizing each other on fashion and things like that thankfully I'm mostly invisible to them though but then they'll grow up and they still might criticize other women when they grow up. I think schools should bring up this topic at school and hopefully the children will listen and fully understand what the problem is although some schools may call it "inappropriate" for young minds or some such but creating awareness to children would extremely help hoping it doesn't fall onto "deaf ears" and I may be blowing this out of proportion but even then it's still a part of the problem.

If men care about dealing with their issues can't they just make their own post type thing and use the creator of the #YesAllWomen tag as inspiration? Now it seems more clear why we're still fighting for rights. I was going to look at the twitter page later on hopefully the creator will make another account or use somewhere else and hopefully she won't have to take it down.

After a bit of thinking I realized something. That something is that the sexist mindset starts very early now. In school one day there were two boys talking about how the one was going to get a new girlfriend (apparently it's cool for 10 to 11 year olds to get a girlfriend to be a part of the crowd and then drop them after a week and vise versa)
and the boy who I'm going to call Bob1 was talking to Bob2 saying that he could get any girl in the school if he wanted to and Bob2 agreed and at that point it was during lunch so I just moved to the other side of the table but that kind of thinking can grow and overtime it leads to the sexist adult male today and girls now are already criticizing each other on fashion and things like that thankfully I'm mostly invisible to them though but then they'll grow up and they still might criticize other women when they grow up. I think schools should bring up this topic at school and hopefully the children will listen and fully understand what the problem is although some schools may call it "inappropriate" for young minds or some such but creating awareness to children would extremely help hoping it doesn't fall onto "deaf ears" and I may be blowing this out of proportion but even then it's still a part of the problem.

1. Firstly, the number of all-star groups / cheat groups that band together and join one particular team is making the AC beyond ridiculous. The AC is now exclusively a competition between these groups and while playing to compete has its own joys, playing while knowing you have no chance of winning is frustrating to say the least. I mean, Faerieland is actually topping the chart right now for heaven's sake. With all due respect to fellow TDN members and guests who are genuine supporters of this team, we all know that the team is getting some type of external help. Why bother if it's going to be rigged anyway?
 
2. The games are repetitious and boring. From year to year the format hardly changes - the brackets system made things worse instead of better, as I know that most of you agree. There should be new games every year, some type of achievement unlocking scheme, and generally something to look forward to every year. The same 4 games a bajillion times a day are hardly a motivation to anyone I know. If anything, people play DESPITE how boring this whole thing is.
 
3. The prizes are insanely out of reach. I am not an All-Star player myself (mainly because of the reason above). But if I were, what would be the point if All Star doesn't even get me the highest prize possible? The fact that Double All-Star exists as a concept is understandable - yes some people will want to play their fingers to the bone - but I hardly think this should be a requirement to get the best prize once a player has supposedly maxed out. Does TDN really expect players to spend 8+ hours a day playing the same 4 games? The prize to effort ratio is highly out of balance and in this day and age, kids are NOT willing to do so much for so little.

Is there anything you guys are frustrated with? Please add!

I haven't watched any world cups but if it ends up on TV I'll watch it. I'm going to most likely cheering for the US and Japan. Although I don't have any heritage in Japan I ended up also cheering them on as well in the Winter Olympics.

I think you have quite a point. It does start alarmingly young and it is ingrained very young to turn on our own gender. How often do you hear about friendships spanning a decade or more, coming to a bitter end over a guy. It's ridiculous. Also, I know of many young boys who play this sort of "game" with "dating" girls and dumping them almost weekly. I'm completely against anyone dating that young, even in jest and am horrendously offended that these parents do not correct such behavior. As if girls were a toy to throw away and buy a new one when you get bored. It could definitely contribute to adults behaving in such a manner. Not that girls don't do the same mind you.

Since we're all baring our souls here, I suppose that I might as well admit somethng I never really have before. I used to be envious of the attention that pretty girls get. I was never a part of the cliques, never one of the "in crowd", never one of the "pretty, popular girls". I was the picked on, bullied fat girl that no one liked... and I mean no one. I had all of one friend in school and we weren't close. I admit that I was very jealous of all the pretty girls and all the attention that they always got. I was never whistled at, never paid compliments by the boys.... (wow, this is hard to say).... and I was always left out of everything. So when I started hearing about harassment cases and such, I admit that I blew it off for the most part.
 
Now, remember that this was when I was young. I'm not anymore and I see it completely differently now, through far more mature eyes. It wasn't for a long time, however, before I saw sexual harassment for the curse that it is. It took seeing it as another form of what I had been going through my entire life. Years and years of bullying and so desperately wanting to be a part of something, yet always being rejected. This is no different. Every time someone smirks at you in the hallway or says something nasty behind your back... every time a post is made online that cuts someone mentally and emotionally.... it's all a part of the same thing. The sad part is that we're all guilty of it. No one is a saint. We've all seen someone somewhere and done something or said something nasty, without thinkiing about how that person really feels. It could have been when still a child and not knowing better.... or it could have been this morning while reading a post on a news site and commenting on some celebrity's dress.
 
The campaign we're here to discuss might be about the inequality of women in our society and how it needs to change, but it should be bigger than that. It should be a fight against bullying and hate in all its myriad forms. Some men grossly mistreat women. Some women do the same to other women. Why is it any less wrong when women cyberbully other women with nasty words and photos? The answer is that it isn't. It's ALL wrong. The problem is our society is geared towards a cult of the young and the beautiful and the wealthy. They are the only people of value and the rest of us are nothing more than trash that feeds their egos. This attitude is what needs to change. ALL people have value. Men need to see this. Women need to see this. Children need to see this. Stop ALL of it, not just the flavour of the month.
 
(Again.... more apologies: long winded post, sounding like I'm preaching, etc. etc.)

I am kinda for them starting it Monday but then I also want them to have it on a Thursday or a Friday. If it starts on Monday it helps people who are bored to have something to do during the week but then I rather it be on a Friday so I could spend more time playing it then only spending an hour or two.

This thread got so big, I want to personally respond to everyone, but I'm afraid of leaving anyone out. So here's to everyone.
 
First, thanks for reading, thinking, and/or sharing your own stories. I'm sorry for everything that you've had to deal with. Your stories really moved me, and I can't believe some of you have had to put up with situations for so long, and that people take the perpetrator's side. Thanks especially to stupidyou3 for reading and thinking about this issue -- I wish more guys would take the time to understand.
 
Second, I noticed that most of us (myself included) make excuses and/or apologies for our stories, qualifying them as "not that bad" or "not that many," or apologizing for them being a downer/pessimistic/triggering. I think we need to change the tone of these conversations. Sure, some people have had it worse. But all women experience misogyny and sexism to some extent or another; it permeates our culture. And I think it's important that we start to paint a picture that encompasses the full range of our experiences. Because these microaggressions add up.
 
Third, I think this awareness campaign is important. It's different than posting your bra color on your Facebook page (which does not help raise awareness about hissi cancer). Most people know the risk factors of hissi cancer and the importance of screening (which the bra color campaign doesn't even address -- during BC awareness month, I always post a link to the current ACS guidelines). But I think most men do not realize what it's like to be a woman in society; they have no idea how often we're harassed or frightened or inappropriately touched or demeaned. I do think the campaign needs to do a better job of reaching and engaging men in the conversation. As one father said (I think in an article on Slate), "I started reading these because I have a teenage daughter, but now I realize I need to read them because I have teenage sons."
 
I was kind of shocked at how long my list was, and I know there are a number of other incidents that I've just forgotten about. Like WBA said, it's not that I was trying to repress the memories or anything, but it's just something I experience in so many big and small ways on a daily basis, and so does every other female I know, that it's almost like trying to remember every bus trip you've taken.
 
I've left off some things related to dating (back when I still dated) that were too personal and that I'm too ambiguous about to articulately share with anyone else. Just instances of me saying no -- or at the very least definitely not saying yes -- and having boundaries pushed. (My boundaries are pretty conservative, so it wasn't rape or anything... but still. Wherever the boundaries are, they should be respected.) I know so many women who have similar stories.
 
I was going to post a link to a New Zealand date rape PSA (called "Who Are You?") but I think it's too intense to post here, so I'll summarize: it shows a woman going to a bar with her best friend, getting drunk with a stranger, and him bringing her home and going into her bedroom. It then rewinds through the evening and shows all the people who could have stopped the assault: her flatmate, asking where he's staying the night, and when he says "here" she says "I'll get you a blanket for the couch"; the guy in line at the bar, who asks the bouncer "is she okay," and then the bouncer stops her and asks if he can get a taxi for her; the bartender, who notices she's too drunk when the guy is ordering drinks for them both, and asks who she's here with and calls her friend over; her friend, who steps in and asks her if she wants to go home when she notices she's getting drunk.
 
Leverhelven, I think your "don't kiss my daughter" story is a good example of what women can do. We can't make men listen if they don't want to (but our male friends and family members who want to? we can start sharing with them). But we can start changing the tone, standing up for ourselves and each other. Forget "social norms" and civility. I'm resolved to not let something slide the next time I'm harassed. For example, at the library last week, instead of giving up my computer, having to close out all my work and wait for a new one, I could have said "It's not okay for you to keep harassing me. Please leave me alone now." If that didn't work, I could have told the librarian what was happening.
 
I'm going to ask the high school youth director at my church if we can discuss this issue one evening. Because I know those girls are already experiencing these kinds of things, and I want them to have better tools for dealing with it -- to not feel that they have to just let things slide for the sake of social norms. And I want those boys to have a better understanding, so they'll respect the women around them -- and stand up to the guys who aren't.

I agree I haven't personally dealt with anything but I hear and see articles about things happening to women and little girls. I don't see why men treat women as objects sometimes and why women are mostly the target of crimes and such. A year ago there was a man at this park who would "expose" himself near women and the next day they would go back and then they would be found dead a week later and they were killed by a man and when the news interviewed their family members they said they should just ignore it and look and see what happened. 5 young women died and they didn't have the chance to enjoy life to the fullest. I wish it would change because women and little girls are reported missing or dead almost every day. When me and some other girls I knew were little they almost got kidnapped multiple time when they were in parking lots with their parents in daylight and nighttime and it was either men or elderly women. Hopefully in the future women won't have to worry so much about being targeted for crimes.

If I still used Tumblr I would definitely reblog that post.
 
I completely agree that people don't see the majority of those sorts of things as a big deal and when we mention them, a lot of people (and not just men), will say that we're 'overreacting' and being 'too sensitive'.
 
I used to work at a nightclub and for the most part while I was there I was working downstairs in the cloakroom by myself. All that's between me and whoever is checking in their coat is the bottom of a dutch door, and the cloakroom itself is situated around a corner from a small dancefloor which rarely has a lot of people on it. Every night I worked it I had a man hanging around that area and talking to me, trying to get my phone number. It made me quite nervous 'cause I was always alone down there and you can't see into the back of the cloakroom from the door, and that always worried me. A couple of them wouldn't leave until I gave them my number/agreed to go on a date with them, and on a few occasions I've been grabbed and kissed forcefully, at which point I've gotten the bouncers to throw them out. One of them waited outside for 3 hours until the end of my shift which was pretty scary. I got a friend of mine who's one of the bouncers to tell him to .... off, and he walked me to the bus stop.
I should have stood up for myself more when men wouldn't leave me alone, I never got anyone thrown out because of that, but as women we're taught that if he doesn't touch you, you have no right to be upset; after all, he's just "paying you a compliment". I'm ashamed of myself for not asserting myself more in these situations.
 
Also, almost every time I go out clubbing my bum is touched. I've never been able to find out who it is because most of the time it's really crowded and there's a steady stream of people trying to get from one place to another so it's hard to figure out. Every time it's made me SO ANGRY I want to punch something (preferably their face) and it's completely ruined my evening.
 
I wasn't aware of this campaign before because I don't use twitter, but I can imagine a lot of misogynistic responses to posts like ours, and it's ridiculous. It's 2014 for petes sake, these are things that should no longer exist - or at least be somewhat rare! It seems that pretty much every woman on here has a story of being assaulted or mistreated by a man.

I'm not quite old enough to have had experiences like this, but I'm getting close to that age and it's a little scary. I know I could most likely defend myself if physically assaulted - I have the knowledge and skills to do so - but it would most likely do emotional damage, and that I could not deal with.
 
I'm sick of seeing women objectified, scared to go out for fear of assault, being taught that "boys will be boys" and that you must try not to get raped, instead of teaching boys to not rape women, and that a short skirt or otherwise "revealing" clothing is "asking for it" and it's the girl's fault for being attractive. I'm sick of seeing guys complain about how a girl "friendzoned" him after he was nice to her or complimented her, and how they feel as if they're entitled to the girl for doing something so simple as holding the door for her or saying she had nice hair. I'm sick of the advertisements that depict how women are "supposed" to look, with hourglass figures, extremely long legs, flawless skin, long slender arms, a full bust and hips, and an overall over-sexualized pose. I'm sick of men treating women like they're simply fanciful things for them to play with and treat as they please, and not have a care if they break them.
 
I'm sick of this patriarchal society as a whole, and I feel it needs changing.

I agree I haven't personally dealt with anything but I hear and see articles about things happening to women and little girls. I don't see why men treat women as objects sometimes and why women are mostly the target of crimes and such. A year ago there was a man at this park who would "expose" himself near women and the next day they would go back and then they would be found dead a week later and they were killed by a man and when the news interviewed their family members they said they should just ignore it and look and see what happened. 5 young women died and they didn't have the chance to enjoy life to the fullest. I wish it would change because women and little girls are reported missing or dead almost every day. When me and some other girls I knew were little they almost got kidnapped multiple time when they were in parking lots with their parents in daylight and nighttime and it was either men or elderly women. Hopefully in the future women won't have to worry so much about being targeted for crimes.

Since this has been trending in other places, I thought we might like to discuss the "Yes All Women" campaign that's started to bring awareness to what it's like to live as a woman in many societies. In danger of mixing my online personae (oh no!), I made a post on my Tumblr account outlining some of the experiences I've had as a woman in the U.S. (I don't think there's anything inappropriate there for younger eyes.)
 
After writing this post, I feel angry that I've gotten so used to this kind of treatment that I've had to edit the post three times to add significant events. I've gotten angry that I've been told "that's no big deal" (in words and actions) for every single incident listed (with the exception of my sister's wedding, where I had to hold back my big brother -- who's also my godfather -- when he found out what happened, and convince him it wasn't worth making a scene over it). In just about every single situation, I've removed myself quietly, trying not to make a scene, knowing that if I did make a scene, I would be told once again that it was "no big deal."
 
Women deserve better treatment. We need to learn that it's okay to say no vehemently and loudly. And we -- all human beings -- need to stop acting like this kind of behavior is okay. Because it's not. And we need to stop saying "no big deal." Because it is a big deal. And if my experience is at all typical, which I believe it is, I don't want the little girls I know to grow up dealing with these same things.

I remember getting a toy from Burger King that was a small Disco JubJub plushie and I made a account the next day. Also one of the first ever memories I had of from Neopets was going to the Organic Food shop and a random event of a lupe pirate or perhaps it was Dr.Sloth (? threatening to fight my neopet if I ever went there again r if they saw me again they would challenge them to a fight in the Battledome it scared me a lot because I was nervous about fighting them in the Battledome I think I was 5 and it was probably sometime near midnight I was on and I avoided the Organic Food shop until my account was about 2 or 3 years old and even then I'm still careful about going to the Organic Food shop. Due to that event happening I have been feeding my neopets slushies and anything else away from the shop.

On Thursday I signed up to be in the school orchestra for next year. Although it was a bit delayed I'm happy they rescheduled the pre-sign ups. Also there's another yay! Thankfully my aunt used to play the violin but she quit and moved on to the piano and since it's been sitting around I could use it instead of getting a rental one. Also if anyone has ever played the violin is there any tips for playing such as holding the violin or the bow and maybe some tips for reading sheet music? I haven't really played any musical instruments before so i'm clueless.

String instruments are definitely tough! I played an assortment of instruments, starting with the piano and clarinet. I got a scholarship into college with my oboe though, although I quit band in college during high school it was one of my best memories was hanging out with the band kids.
 
The best advice I can give is practice at least 10 minutes a day, every day. Even if you don't know anything now, give yourself a year and look back. At the beginning just work on good form of holding the violin and feeling how the bow is used on it.
 
Good luck, band is so much fun! :)

Shame tnt didn't give out free NC this year :c GO SHENKUU!!! :rock: :thumbsup: :dance:

I've decided to stick with Shenkuu and make it a tradition.

I finished reading The Prophet by Khali Gibran? I think that's how his name is spelled. My grandma found it in my garage and she was going to sell it at a yard sale once but a man told her that it was a good book and she should put it up. I'm glad she did because it was a bit of an interesting read. Also it has a weird powdery smell to it. The book used to belong to a woman name Mary jane who owned the house before. The book is only 96 pages but it was a different reading experience bad thing is that I have to hold it far away from my face. I'm not sure if it's how the old book is or since it's been sitting around and it might be all old books in particular. The book was published in 1923 so it's about 61 years old now and also it's in surprisingly good shape too. The tile on the spine is a little faded and the pages are somewhat yellow but it may have always been that way. I think i'm going to have to read it again because the way it's written is a bit overwhelming for me.

Yay! I hope this year will be the time for Shenkuu to rise up! Good luck to the other teams. Too bad we have to wait til June 2nd to play though but I think i'm going to get some practice runs in before the games begin.

Yay! I hope this year will be the time for Shenkuu to rise up! Good luck to the other teams. Too bad we have to wait til June 2nd to play though but I think i'm going to get some practice runs in before the games begin.