Gender reveal?

[Grenthine]

So... the time has come for me to make a big decision. My husband and I are currently expecting our first child (yay!), and we need to decide before our next appointment whether we would like to know the gender or not. He would like to know, but I would prefer not to for several reasons.

My husband's reason for wanting to know is that we would only have to pick out one name. My reasons for not wanting to know are that 1) I love surprises! 2) this will be the first grandchild on my side of the family, and I have two sisters, a mom, a stepmom, and a dad, all of whom will be SUPER excited, and will probably go overboard buying things. However, I really don't want the child to have a wardrobe/toy collection/paraphernalia consisting of nothing but frilly pink stuff or sporty blue. What's wrong with a nice neutral rubber duckie onesie? But I digress...

 

I know that some of you are parents, and I am curious whether you chose to know the gender of your child(ren) or not? And why did you choose the way you did?

 

 

(I thought about putting this in the Debate forum, but since I'm only looking for opinions, not facts, I put it here instead. If it's in the wrong place, please move it!)

[Hert123]

I haven't had a baby or pregnancy but I'd like to know the gender! I just wouldn't tell anybody so that it's still a surprise to everybody else :)

Congratulations on your baby!

[blueberrykiwi141]

You could find out but not tell anyone. You could make it the theme for your baby shower.

You could have a cake that has pink and blue and then the inside is the color that is designated for the gender.

You could let people know you would like the neutral colors when they purchase things and not just the blue or pink stuff! :)

Congrats by the way!!

[bella255]

I personally want to know but I probably won't tell anyone. You can pick a specific theme for the nursery so it is a little easier for family/friends to get something. I hated the whole boys=blue/girl=pink but I understand why people cling to that. People want to get you want you need but they also want to get you something you and your baby would enjoy. There is so many options now but it is just easier to get the standard blue/pink. My friend had a monkey/zoo theme nursery and it turned out beautiful. It was a lot easier for people follow theme than to pick random neutral object. And Congratz

[Shelley]

first of all, CONGRATULATIONS!! :D I'm not planning on having kids any time soon, but I would probably want the gende revealed. I mean it would still be a surprise up until that day :) but than again even if I didn't want to tell my friends/family I would probably end up spilling the beans because I can't keep a secret. i know what you mean by not wanting to overload the baby with clothing stereotypicaly designated to that gender. I imagine when I have a child, the nursery painted yellow :) When my mom had me she knew I was was female yet when I was a baby everyone enjoyed dressing me in dinosaur pattered clothes and overalls. When my mom brought me in public everyone thought I was a boy :/ haha

 

I really like the themed baby shower idea above. Something like in the jungle or under the sea would be cute and encourage more gender neutral choices in wardrobe/baby accessories

 

But I don't see a single thing wrong with waiting to find out the gender :) Unless you're having a really hard time picking out names haha..picking out one for both a boy and a gil could be double the frustration in that department I suppose lol

[Sakeru_Kyori]

I am a mother of a four year old and also expecting :P and I'll find out what my fiance and I are having our next appointment as well. I prefer to know because it drives me crazy not to. And you'll soon find out whatever clothes your family buys for your little one will either be soon ruined or he/she can't wear long anyway. I'd say find out and allow your family to shop as much as they like. It helps a lot actually :P As for the frilly/blue stuff all you need to do is just express that you'd like different styles or neutral colors etc. Of course some frilly/blue stuff will be baught most likely but it doesn't hurt to have the stereotype clothing around either (: As for toys, it's always nice to have a variation because kids can get bored of the same thing. For my four year old I put some toys away in storage because she had too many in her play room and after a few months I switched them out with other toys. It's like she got a whole tub of new things and was interested again in playing with the toys.

 

Also maybe only your husband could be told what the baby is and he can tell the rest of the family but they could keep it a secret from you while being able to shop? It'd be difficult probably not telling you or wanting to show you the new things before the baby is born but it might work out :P Good luck and congratulations!

[hanalways]

And you'll soon find out whatever clothes your family buys for your little one will either be soon ruined or he/she can't wear long anyway.

 

This times a thousand and fifty percent. Poopvolcano is definitely a thing, and hopefully your baby will be growing fast into new sets of clothes anyway - but the guests LOVE buying cutesy clothing and they do look pretty adorable.

 

I don't have children, but have been around them and I have two little tiny nephews (except not really, they are fast growers!) I feel that if you don't want to know, that's your prerogative, there is enough gender neutral things that shouldn't be a problem for the shower and stuff. I personally wouldn't want to know either, but I bet anything my husband would want to know immediately. I would probably give him the option of knowing and taunting me about it, haha.

 

Also when knowing the gender, if they say a girl be careful! They might be tucking in between the legs in the sonogram and the birth may be a bit of a surprise that you were looking for anyway - that's happened a few times!

[Nubisbully]

I have an almost eleven month old and voted "yes" on the finding out but it was pretty much a given. I didn't want any ultrasounds but was deemed a "high risk" pregnancy so I found out at 5 months. We had already been talking about boy names, had already gotten boy clothes and I generally knew it was a boy (instinct and the high prevalence of males on my partners side.)

 

We've been talking about our next one and because we went the natural route with our first a little late, and we're more aware of the happening of having a baby, I think we'll have it be a surprise. I tend to like gender neutral items more and I'm hoping for a girl and also like the surprise/suspense.

 

After that ramble, I think, since it's your first, you should not find out. It's more fun, less worry and you won't be expecting one way or another hopefully. I worry with our second, that I will be a tad disappointed if it's another boy (he has a brother and a sister but his brother has two boys.)

 

I also like the surprise gender cake idea but I would be wicked and have it green on the inside (as to tell that you don't even know the gender!)

 

I think your family will go crazy either way! My family and friends did and I have quite a few very "girly" items from early on that I will hold onto for the future. My son is in a tye-dyed pink/green/blue/purple cloth diaper right now and has worn a pink monkey outfit, so I guess it doesn't matter all that much!

 

Sorry for the length but I just reread the previous and YES if it's a boy or even a girl probably, opt out of newborn clothing. Super cute but lasted less than a month on our little guy (he was also 22in and 10lbs at birth however)

Edited May 24, 2014 by Nubisbully

[Mouseykins]

Ooooh congratulations on your pending little one! <3

I have a 2.5 year old girl and while pregnant with her we wanted to know what we were having. I had a good feeling we were having a girl and we were excited to see if I was right. We decided to wait and see when baby arrived and enjoy the surprise. It was an awesome surprise when our doctor told us we have a girl. I'm glad we didn't find out. :)

 

I now have a 2 month old little girl. With her we decided to find out what we were having, just so I could prep better and buy boy bedding and clothes. At our 20 week and 36 week ultrasound the technician couldn't get a clear image and we weren't able to find out until she was born. I bought Winnie the Pooh stuff for the crib and other neutral stuff I needed. :)

 

No matter what you decide, I strongly recommend picking out names for both a boy and a girl. This way you have your names picked out and won't have to scramble to decide on one. And have your names picked ahead of time. :) My husband and I made a list of girl names the night before our second girl was born. We didn't actually finalize her names until just before she was delivered. I picked her first name and my husband chose her middle name. :)

 

Let us know what you decide! :)

 

On the clothing aspect I'd suggest buying cheap sleepers for everyday wear. Baby is going to grow out of them fast and they'll most likely get stained from diaper explosions and spit-up. Though I do have a trick to deal with most stains, so it hasn't really been much of a problem with the sleepers. A good soak in colour safe bleach usually does the trick or spot treating right before the wash as well. :)

 

Also good luck and feel free to poke me if you have any baby questions. :)

good gosh i think I've abused the smile. XD

[Grenthine]

Thank you all for the congratulations and all your thoughts and great ideas! <3 We're just starting the second trimester, but since I'll be 35 at the birth, and we had a previous miscarriage, my OB wanted genetic testing done to rule out serious problems. So the testing will tell us the gender anyway. So my husband will get his way, he'll have to read the test results! I told him I would rather not know, since I'm terrified of letting it slip accidentally while talking to my sisters or mom. It's been REALLY REALLY HARD to not spill the beans inadvertently about the pregnancy! (We're telling our families on June 7th after a tour of a chocolate factory! Yay!)

 

I honestly hadn't even thought about setting up a nursery yet, we'll be moving within the next few months, so I suppose that'll come post-move. I think the under the sea theme that Shelley suggested would fit well with my husband and I. :) That way, I can use green and blue without judgment regardless of gender! :D

 

Mouseykins, thank you for the offer. I will almost certainly take you up on your offer to be a resource for me. You may end up regretting it! :*

[Azurablue]

Congratulations!

 

I would like to put in a word of encouragement on your choice to remain gender neutral. I don't know your stance on the "third gender", but you should be prepared for the possibility. In other words, consider purple. You might have a little boy who loves dolls or a girl that adores trucks. You just never know. It's best to let your son or daughter decide such things for themselves when they become old enough to make that determination. Forcing pink on girls and blue on boys seems so wrong when there's a whole spectrum out there.

 

Perhaps, if you have the skill and time, you could look into all kinds of themes for the nursery. When I was little, I wanted my bedroom to have a green carpet, sky blue and fluffy clouds on the walls, and glow-in-the dark stars on a dark blue ceiling. A rainbow would have been really nice on one wall.

 

As for knowing in advance because you can have a name ready to go, my parents discussed both possibilities long in advance. They had a list of top three each for a girl and a boy. When the time came, my mother made the final choice since my father's were ridiculous. :laughingsmiley: Instead of knowing beforehand, you could have a few ready for the event when it comes. After all, if you pop the genie out of the bottle, you can't put it in back again. ^_^

 

Best wishes!

[Katsuokai]

Congratulations!

 

I would like to put in a word of encouragement on your choice to remain gender neutral. I don't know your stance on the "third gender", but you should be prepared for the possibility. In other words, consider purple. You might have a little boy who loves dolls or a girl that adores trucks. You just never know. It's best to let your son or daughter decide such things for themselves when they become old enough to make that determination. Forcing pink on girls and blue on boys seems so wrong when there's a whole spectrum out there.

 

Perhaps, if you have the skill and time, you could look into all kinds of themes for the nursery. When I was little, I wanted my bedroom to have a green carpet, sky blue and fluffy clouds on the walls, and glow-in-the dark stars on a dark blue ceiling. A rainbow would have been really nice on one wall.

 

As for knowing in advance because you can have a name ready to go, my parents discussed both possibilities long in advance. They had a list of top three each for a girl and a boy. When the time came, my mother made the final choice since my father's were ridiculous. :laughingsmiley: Instead of knowing beforehand, you could have a few ready for the event when it comes. After all, if you pop the genie out of the bottle, you can't put it in back again. ^_^

 

Best wishes!

 

I don't have kids myself (and won't have but that's off the subject). I agree with Azurablue, it's good if you could try to remain gender neutral and let your child grow up without having the social pressure of having to conform to one gender role or another. Plus, there's also intersex people out there so all this ''is it a girl or a boy?'' thing is just silly... .

 

At first I was going to suggest you to make a list of both male and female names, but since it turned out you'll get to know the gender now (since your husband might not be able to keep that information to himself) it's something you could consider doing if you have more children. One thing to consider would be to choose an unisex name, that way regardless of the gender of your baby your child will have a great name. ;)

 

So yeah, if I hypothetically would have to make that choice myself I would choose to not know in advance. As for your family and friends that might be anxious to begin buying gifts for the baby, settle down for a theme or simply tell them to not buy stereotypically girl/boy items. Also, try to make your husband respect your wishes about the subject too! :P

 

Well, I hope it all goes well for you and that you'll have a happy family life! :)

 

 

[Mouseykins]

Thank you all for the congratulations and all your thoughts and great ideas! <3 We're just starting the second trimester, but since I'll be 35 at the birth, and we had a previous miscarriage, my OB wanted genetic testing done to rule out serious problems. So the testing will tell us the gender anyway. So my husband will get his way, he'll have to read the test results! I told him I would rather not know, since I'm terrified of letting it slip accidentally while talking to my sisters or mom. It's been REALLY REALLY HARD to not spill the beans inadvertently about the pregnancy! (We're telling our families on June 7th after a tour of a chocolate factory! Yay!)

 

I honestly hadn't even thought about setting up a nursery yet, we'll be moving within the next few months, so I suppose that'll come post-move. I think the under the sea theme that Shelley suggested would fit well with my husband and I. :) That way, I can use green and blue without judgment regardless of gender! :D

 

Mouseykins, thank you for the offer. I will almost certainly take you up on your offer to be a resource for me. You may end up regretting it! :*

I wish you all the best through this pregnancy and hope you have smooth sailing for the duration. :)

 

Since you'll be moving you could always just get the bare necessities, like a bassinet, clothes and small items. The big stuff can be left until after you've moved. Saves stress and extra packing. :)

 

My little confession is: Our 2.5 year old daughter does not have her own room yet. Her room requires new flooring being put in and a major wall makeover. We have polka dot circles everywhere that are textured and have been covered up with the most awful shade of dirt brown. She is currently in our room in our bed with my husband, our puppy and myself. Currently the entire family sleeps in one room. XD

So no worries if you don't have the nursery all done up before baby arrives. :)

 

I love sharing my experiences and advice so anytime poke me! :D

 

Oh and in regards to the stereotypical girl/boy stuff. My daughter has been dressed up in cute outfits from the beginning. I choose simple, practical clothes and occasionally a few dressier outfits. Just because I dress her like a little girl doesn't mean she has to have all girl toys and can't play with other toys. A while ago we were in the dollar store and she picks out this rubber bearded dragon toy and she loved it. Ran around the store beside us going GRRR GRRR making this cute little face. She's also shown an interest in trucks, animals and other non-girly items. We let her choose her own toys most of the time and she's quite well rounded. I've put my foot down on the Barbie doll items: absolutely none in my house!! Anything else is fine.

 

I wouldn't worry so much about stereotypical stuff. Your child will let you know when he/she is older what his/her preferences are and just go with it. Their preferences will change as they get older and learn more about different things.

 

Since you're the one picking out the outfits as long as you like your choices then baby is not going to care. One of my pet peeves about people is assuming a baby's gender based on their clothes. I went to the grocery store the other day and my daughter was in a green sleeper, pink carseat blanket, pink hat, and a pink blanket for over the stroller to keep the wind out. The lady at the till looked passed the pink and went straight to the green and assumed a boy. So it doesn't matter what you dress baby in, people are still going to assume otherwise.

 

Just my thoughts on the matter. apologies for rambling. I tend to get long winded at night. XD

[Grenthine]

The reason I am so adamant about attempting to be gender-neutral is that I was never interested in dolls, pink, or any other "girl" things as a child (and I'm still not). Dinosaurs were always my favorite, and Legos! I was always SO jealous of the neighbor boy's Tonka trucks, too. Dump trucks are so much fun! But whenever gift-giving occasions rolled around, I always seemed to receive mostly dolls, dress-up clothes, princess wands, and other things that ended up in my little sister's room. I did have an aunt who always gave me books, though. <3 When somebody would see fit to give me a jigsaw puzzle, book, game, even a stuffed animal, it was SO EXCITING!! XD

 

Since this will be the spawn of my husband and I, regardless of gender, the child will be a geek. :glasses: I believe all children should be free to explore their own interests and discover their own path in life.

 

I am pretty sure my husband will keep the gender secret from me, but he'll keep teasing me about it! :P

 

I understand that the baby will grow quickly, and that any clothes that fit them at birth won't a few short weeks later. I also understand that a couple dresses or little suits won't cause my child to feel locked into a predetermined gender role. But I have seen people dress their girls in nothing but pink at all ever, and I admit, it bothers me. I got to wear red overalls and blue shirts and green shorts and yellow PJs and purple swimsuits. There is an entire rainbow, it's such a shame to limit the portion of it that gets worn! Cute outfits I have no problem with, it's more the monochromatic wardrobes I see.

 

Okay, that wound up being more of a rant post than I intended, sorry! :*

[Azurablue]

I understand perfectly about Tonka trucks. My mother insisted that if I wanted dolls, I could have dolls. If I wanted Tonka trucks, I could have trucks. Which I did. I had everything from a china tea set to Tonka trucks to superhero action figures (this was way before the cool articulated ones they have today - these were solid plastic and more like statues than anything) to Barbie dolls and teddy bears. I've never been a pink person and deeply love the colour blue. Frills are not for me. I like black T-shirts and jeans... and lots of sparkly jewelry. I got the choice and I chose it all. *LOL*

 

In a world where we fight for the right to have the freedom of choice, I can never figure out why people limit it for their children. This is a time when they are able to see the world in all its richness and variety, not the formed and subdued concrete jungles we're making it into. Magic is real and it comes in all the colours of the rainbow, not just blue and pink. So, I wish you the very best in your fight to keep things gender neutral. Resist the attempts by those who would undermine your vision of what your child should be... and let your little one soar.

 

(Within in reason, of course.... no point in hoping for an angel only to have a little banshee screaming all over the neighbourhood and terrifying the wildlife. :whistle: ;) )

[kaybee92]

Honestly, I would not want to know. I'm not sure what the current technology is, but when I was still a little fetus my parents chose to find out and I was going to be a boy...so I was going to be named Adolf to match with my siblings Andres and Arturo.

 

A few months later another ultrasound said I was going to be a girl and my mom's preggo hormones made her totally lose it...she started bawling and screaming because she was so excited.

 

Edited to add that I am so glad I grew up with two boys because I played with their Jenga and Batman figurines and admired their Hot Wheels collections from afar while all my friends had dollies and tea sets and everything pink. I turned out to be a bit of a tomboy, but in a good way!