Naamah D. Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I think I'm going through an identity crisis. I want to be a super 1337 gamer chick but I can't because of my brother. I want to be a proper lady but I can't because I eat too much. I'm happiest when I'm a Goth but I'm scared my mom will send me to psych again. I feel so lonely and sad. When I cry nobody tells me it's okay. When I'm upset nobody calms me down. When I'm struggling nobody helps me. I also think I have an eating disorder because I feel guilty about everything I eat. I also obsess over food. I read calorie labels at least 10 times before I eat and it still doesn't help. I miss being my happy Gothic self. I've become somebody/something I hate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicatedwishes Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Hey! You can always talk to us on the forums :) But also, I was actually on it myself today, have you heard of http://thequietplaceproject.com/ http://thequietplaceproject.com/thedreamsroom/ <- the dreams room is another project by the guy who created the quiet place. you can write your own private dreams, but within that their is "the comfort spot" where you can post when you feel like you need someone to talk to, and anyone who is online at that time on the website can comment and comfort you. it's a really nice, lovely idea! i haven't posted my problems/worries yet but i have advised some people on there this evening. I hope this helps, even just a little! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arkwright Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I think we`ve all been there at one point in our lives or another; so I`ll offer you whatever advice I can from my own experiences. Some of it might sound horribly contradicting, but I hope it will help somehow. Basically you can be anything you want to be, it might sound cheesy but nothing is actually impossible just very, very difficult. If you want to be a super elite gamer girl, thats no problem - maybe even find a different outlet, something that is different from your brother. For example, I am no good at shooting games - yet amongst everyone I know, I`m a super cool gamer girl, but I play Warhammer 40,000 like nobody's business. Me and the boyfriend do tournaments all the time. Its just a suggestion, but I don`t know. If you really want to be that kind of person, don`t let an excuse get in your way - and think about it, it usually is just excuses. I`m a victim of my own excuse making on a daily basis. If you want to be a proper lady, and if you think eating too much will inhibit this, well then change it. You can eat a hell lot, but if you want to lose weight just eat healthy. Literally - this is what I do, I cut all meat from my diet (except for fish), all white carbs (white bread, pasta etc.), and all sugar out. I began a hobby of doing my own cooking, and bought myself a middle eastern cook book; within no time I was making my own hummus, with wholemeal pitta bread - and heck I can eat as much of that as I like without putting on any weight. My diet right now consists of fruit salad / museli for breakfast, salads for lunch, and things like roast salmon for dinner, with potatoes and rice and lentils and things like that. Boy do I snack, but I snack on fruits, like grapes and strawberries, or nuts during the day and it keeps me going. I only drink water - and thus the problem is solved, I eat as much as I like, but the diet alone looks ladylike eating it, and I can keep a nice shape. Furthermore, exercise is good for you because it pumps endorfins into your body and they make you happy. A wise man once said : A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. Paul Dudley White And you know what - he`s absolutely right. But in my honest opinion, if its about being skinny, thats really not a problem. Being skinny doesn`t suit everyone. You can still be wonderful and gorgeous and ladylike and be curvy - sit up straight a lot to improve posture, and change the clothing. It might literally just be the clothing that is affecting everything. Finally on the goth point; there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a goth. Neither is there any problem going to psych - you know that might actually help, and then you could have someone to talk to about this who would know a legit cure other than a lifestyle change. black flatters everyone, so dress black to no odds, it doesn`t mean you`re a goth. So long as you`re not self harming or doing other things associated with being gothy, theres nothing wrong with it and don`t let anyone tell you otherwise. You need to work out what you truly want to be, and who you truly are and exactly why you want it. The next part is easy. Listen though, we`ve all been there crying ourselves to sleep and wanting more than anyone to take notice and reach out and hug us and tell us everything is going to be okay.. You`re not alone, and never forget that there are people out there who care. Heck, if ever you needed to talk to someone, even I`m always here. For whatever good I`d do; I`d at least listen to you and never get bored or tell you you`re wrong. Its not my place to. I`m serious, if you need anyone, ever - though we`re in different time zones for one; I can be here for you. You can PM me here, neomail me at my main or even email me ([email protected]). Anything I can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarria33 Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Awww I feel you too. And its true, you can be whoever you want to be. You don't have to label yourself. You can be a lady gamer who is goth if you want. It's who you are. And fat women are ladies too. Women who eat too much are ladies too. And honestly, there is nothing wrong with being fat or eating too much. Fat does not equal unhealthy. There are plenty of fat women who are healthy, have loving partners, and are successful. You don't have to be thin to be happy. And if you want to be a lady, YOU ARE ONE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazrandus Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 It appears that your mother doesn't understand that there is really nothing wrong with being a goth and this is not uncommon for old-fashioned parents. She's not going to send you to psych again if she knows that you are happiest that way. You an be whatever you want to be, don't think about how some people may judge you it is what you want to be that really matters :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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