I don't know whether to laugh or cry..

[morgennaraene]

In about 12 days I'm going to be 37 (I kinda want to cry about that :laughingsmiley:) and I've always wanted to be a Mother, just not like this.. My much younger sister has 3 beautiful little boys who've been sitting in foster care for over a year now because she can't seem to do what the judge was telling her she needed to do to get them back.. Then she got herself arrested and the reason for it was pretty serious and now I just found out that she has received a 4 yr. sentence in prison for it..

Since February, I have been involved with Children's Aid, going through the process of applying for Kinship (fostering) of the baby, who is only 1, and next Friday they're coming to do the home study, so I'm one step closer to getting him. Once I get custody though, I want to push forward with adoption, but probably not until I've had him at least a year.. I wish I could take all 3 boys, but A) I'm single, b) I'm 37, and C) I know darn well there's no way I can handle 3 kids on my own, much less all boys, at my age and even my neurosurgeon has said no more than one, I physically wouldn't be able to handle it..

 

So, I want to cry because my sister is a bloody idiot who doesn't seem to care what she's done to her kids that she claims to love so much, and now it looks like we're going to lose the 2 and 3yr. old to the system for at least the next 15 - 16 years. But I want to laugh and dance for joy because my dream of having a kid (and a boy to boot, I always wanted a boy) may be coming true.. I just feel really torn right now I guess and needed to vent; thanks..

[Navy]

That is so caring of you.

I understand your concern about your sister, but keep in mind you'll soon have an addition to your household!

You should be happy and proud of yourself!

[Ashbash]

I'm so sorry about the whole situation. That's great that you are going to be a mom soon though and taking care of him. I hope everything goes well for you!

[moni_rawr]

That sounds like quite a situation you have on your hands! Don't stress too much about your sister, she's making her own decisions and is dealing with the consequences of those decisions. And try to think positively about it all, you're taking one of the boys in and that's more than anyone could ask for. With how young the other two are, they will most likely find really good, loving homes. And you never know, maybe the families will be open enough to allow you and your family to still be a part of their lives.

[Secre]

From experience with the system as a single parent you'll be much better off fostering as you get both emotional and financial support. On the plus side as well 2 and 3 year olds get fostered fairly quickly because they are still 'cute' - it's much better than this happening when they're 7 and 8.

 

It's a real pity that you can't take them but there's a high chance they'll find a loving, caring home and they will probably be able to stay together as well because usually social make a real effort to keep siblings together.

 

Congratulations. I know my foster parents are over the moon with the additions of two 3 year olds to their family recently (on top of a 10 year old whose been in long term foster care with them). Hopefully this little boy will make you just as happy.

[morgennaraene]

Thanks guys, this has been one heck of a roller coaster ride for me over the last few months.. As for sticking with just fostering, I'm still pretty set on eventually adopting. Right now, yeah, I need the additional financial support, but I'm hoping to soon be working at the hospital I volunteer at, they've been hinting that they're considering hiring me.. CAS themselves has been really pushing me to go straight for adoption too, but I know that's probably just because they don't want to have to help support the kid financially, and also because they are trying to find a permanent and stable environment for him, which is sooo important in the early years.. But, I want him to be MINE, as in no one can just pop up and take him from me (*cough* my sister *cough*), because knowing her the way I do, she wouldn't see anything wrong with trying to take him from me after being gone for 4 years and throwing his life into absolute chaos.. It's such a complicated issue and it's literally making my hair fall out :P All I can do is pray and hope that everything works out in the baby's best interest..

[moni_rawr]

While she is his mother, they will look at how well he is doing with you and that taking him out of this stable environment and putting him in an unstable one (although it's with his mother) will end up hurting him. You can also foster until her 4 years is almost up, then adopt him so that there's no chance of her taking him. That way, you have the financial aid and will be able to save up money so that when you do adopt him, you have an emergency fund in case anything happens.

[Rebecca~]

Oh wow, what a stressful situation to be in! It's too bad that you can't take all the children, but at least the other two are still young, and will likely be adopted quickly. :)

I wish you the best of luck!

[karmacow]

Oh wow, that's just a heartbreaking situation. I know I'd feel awful that I couldn't take all three kids. Obviously that would be chaotic, hard to manage situation in every way imaginable. Let's just hope the 2 and 3 year old find a good home. I hope everything turns out well with all three, and your sister too - and you(!), for that matter. Hope she realizes what she's doing with her life and her boys' lives as well.