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Hang Out and Post


Giovanni Gale

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Alright. This is a more young-person-friendly monologue that I also considered.

You want to know what made me do it? You want to know why I'm here today?

I wish I had a good story for you.

I wish I could tell you something tragic so that your world would make sense again.

I wish I could stand here and make excuses.

I wish my life could have been more evil and awful, so that I would have something to blame it on.

I had a - functional family. Purely functional. Father worked full time, mother worked part time, us children went to school and out at night. Our lifestyles were specifically designed so that we didn't have to spend more than an hour at a time in each other's company. That's how we functioned.

I'm normal. I had a happy childhood, give or take. I did ok in school, got a B aggregate. I wasn't cool, but I wasn't a nerd. I'm not bravely religious nor anti-religious. I was middle class. I was the middle child. I'm not fat. I'm not ugly. I'm NORMAL! DANGIT! NORMAL!

You want an excuse?

The dog ate it.

The car broke down.

I forgot.

I left it at home.

I already have plans.

I thought that was what you told me to do.

It was aliens, men from another planet.

I got lost.

My alarm didn't go off.

My computer crashed.

The printer ran out of ink.

I was sick.

I couldn't find my keys.

Your phone was engaged.

I don't have any change.

I already have one of those.

I don't have any money on my cellphone.

The train was late.

It got lost in the post.

That's how it happened. That's why I'm here today. It makes sense, doesn't it? Because most of the world's mistakes aren't huge crashing mistakes, they're tiny little ones, that just add up. Like pulling out the last Jenga block and watching the tower crash onto the table in front of you and knowing that you screwed up. And you know what? While you're busy pulling other blocks out, and managing to balance them, miraculously, no one notices. No one cares. Things are going right, so what? But when you pull that last block out, when everything collapses, then everyone notices. Then everyone knows. And the persons who didn't pull out that particular block, who may have played an equal role in the destruction, they can sit by smugly and watch as you pick up the pieces and build your tower again.

 

Reading it now, I doubt y'all will find it funny, but if you imagine someone actually performing it, it's pretty amusing.

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Oh, no, I didn't write it; I found it. I plan to memorize it for auditions for the next play (which will probably be a drama rather than a comedy, but oh well.) The list format is gonna make it tough to remember though.

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Plays? I remember when I was in a play. Kindergarten, it was. I was the Ice Queen, and I had to freeze everyone. :laughingsmiley: Interesting role, wasn't it?

 

The only play I have been in is the one we had in 3rd grade about....was it the American Revolution? I think it was. I had to play a guy. x_x

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The only play I have been in is the one we had in 3rd grade about....was it the American Revolution? I think it was. I had to play a guy. x_x

 

In 5th grade, I had to be John Hancock for our history play. And when we all did other plays, we performed for other classes and parents, I had to be a maid to a princess. And I despised the girl who played the princess, so it was that much worse. :laughingsmiley:

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In 5th grade, I had to be John Hancock for our history play. And when we all did other plays, we performed for other classes and parents, I had to be a maid to a princess. And I despised the girl who played the princess, so it was that much worse. :laughingsmiley:

 

Haha. Poor you. Was the girl mean? :king:

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Yes. She was the worst. And I ended up going to school with her from K-8th. I couldn't stand her.

 

You poor thing. Oof, K-8th. That must have been terrible! There is this girl like that sitting right next to me. I really dislike her, but I have to live with her. She is my sister. :laughingsmiley: Haha, I was joking.

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Sorry about disappearing, but I see the conversation got entertaining in my absence. :P Elementary school plays are always fun. I was in one, but I don't remember what I did. I've been in 3 plays at my high school. (I would've been in more if I'd joined the Drama Club earlier...)

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Sorry about disappearing, but I see the conversation got entertaining in my absence. :P Elementary school plays are always fun. I was in one, but I don't remember what I did. I've been in 3 plays at my high school. (I would've been in more if I'd joined the Drama Club earlier...)

 

You are a Drama Cluber. Ohhh that explains all of your theatricality. Heh, I said theatricality.

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I'm just glad I didn't deal with her much, as the years went on. I never saw her in HS, even though we went to the same way. But there was about 1k kids, just in the graduating class. So it was a big school.

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