Revenge, do you have any phobias? Have you ever been so afraid of something that you'd be paralyzed, you mouth would zip shut, and you'd shake. If you tried to fight it, there'd be so much internal pressure that you'd cry.

 

There are only two (known) things that can do that to me. Blood tests, and talking. Talking about... all of this. It's not just mentally, or emotionally impossible for me to confess. It's physically impossible.

 

But anyway, it'll be fine. What happens, happens. And for a reason. The time will come.

 

I'm going to go eat some spaghetti.

Well, even if I can't hear you, you can't say I'm not listening.

 

 

I've gotta go finish homework, then try to sleep, but I'll probably be too worried sick to actually fall asleep.

I know you're listening. Thanks. :)

 

Worried about what?

Hey sorry I haven't been able to get on lately.

 

Y'know, you probably might read what I'm going to say and write it off as a load of crap, but I really use my faith to help me with problems like these. Like my parents can never be happy with what I can do. I get straight As, well another kid they know is already in college. I place second in a piano competition, they know someone who placed first two year younger than me. It's things like that where I never feel like I'm really good enough for anything. And then I think about my life and realize I don't have any real friends. Like there's nobody I can talk to about all the crap going on in my life, like my dad having to move to China because both of my parents lost their jobs and we're running really low on money so he goes to the only place he can find a job.

 

I dunno, I guess the way I see it is that we're all something special, and none of us are the piece of **** that you mentioned earlier, Laura. I mean, in Genesis it says that God created everything through spoken word, and then it's kinda like He finished with that and then made us humans out of dust with His own hands. And I like the idea of how He loves us and accepts us, no matter who we end up to be. To Him, you're a great person. That's kinda helped me a little, just knowing that at least someone's gonna truly except me for who I am in the end.

 

Sorry for preaching. Not even sure I'm gonna want to post this...

 

Yeah I've got some phobias. One is water. I seriously can't stand the thought of deep water. If it's past my neckline I'll freak. And that's why I can't swim.

But while you might not be able to talk to your mom about what you're going through, you can always tell us, and we'll be here to listen.

 

Sorry if I sound stupid or lame or whatever.

@will: you don't sound stupid or lame (maybe a little whatever sounding ;) ). you sound like someone who knows of something that helps, & offering it as a solution for people.

 

@revenge: too worried sick to fall asleep, that doesn't sound good.

 

oh, & if anyone ever wants to talk to me about anything, anything at all, I'm sitting idle at my computer with my IM's running most of every day.

 

 

 

 

 

^{although I seriously wonder how much longer I can go before I crack & finally just completely loose it.....}

Laura: well all i can say is tell your mom . It sounds like such a simple solution to a problem and i get that it's not. Just face your fear of talking about it since you cant ignore things because someday it'll come back in a way. I get what you mean though about like you cant tell your mom because that did happen to me but it was more of a different situation. I'm also scared that she's going to cry and say it's all her fault /:

 

Stream: Nah that didnt sound lame xD

 

 

 

SOB IM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS OR ESCALATORS i can go on escalators though its just the fear of like i might fall down and injure myself.

I do have some kind of fear, I am really frightened (correct spelling?) to go on any fair rides or anything like that whenever I even come near it, I feel really tensed and start crying like a lunatic but I faced it eventually, guess I was just too ashamed of not going on the same ride as my 6-year old cousin XD.

You know, even though I have a tablet, drawing on paper is still way more natural. I thought of about twenty new ideas for drawings today and I can't do any of them because they come out weird if I'm just using the computer.

 

Ah, well. I'll draw it all on paper, I get to use the school scanner on Wednesdays.

 

(They're really cool ideas, I swear!)

Stream: Nah that didnt sound lame xD

 

SOB IM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS OR ESCALATORS i can go on escalators though its just the fear of like i might fall down and injure myself.

Feel free to call me Will ;)

 

Ah, heights, I'm afraid of those too.

I remember once I climbed to the top of this one watchtower thing and I was practically on all fours cause I was that afraid xP

 

You know, even though I have a tablet, drawing on paper is still way more natural. I thought of about twenty new ideas for drawings today and I can't do any of them because they come out weird if I'm just using the computer.

 

Ah, well. I'll draw it all on paper, I get to use the school scanner on Wednesdays.

 

(They're really cool ideas, I swear!)

Really? Well then you'll have to scan them and show them to us.

I plan to. Most of the ideas came from a semi-dream where I was thinking of stuff to put on deviantArt. I had a mini-breakthrough, where I realized that the reason I could never come up with ideas was because I always worried about how it would come out and comparing it to really awesome pictures they have in dA. Once I knew that, I started to actually use my frikkin imagination, and a flood of ideas came over me. Think of some of my most random posts here, but in picture form! Yeah.

 

I still need to finish homework, though.

 

But This Is More Important! Homework I'll do later...

ooh, I just realized that the 2 buttons in the upper right corner of the fast reply make the box bigger & smaller.

*tries buttons*

 

...Holy crap. I have never noticed those there before.

... o_O

 

Wow. I'm so oblivious. XD

 

Eep! Look at the time, I ought to go to sleep.

yeah, I should probably go to sleep too.

 

nothing much positive coming from me being awake anymore.

Will: sob sorry i know, i was in another mode. >>;; It's becoming a reflex for me to copy the user name :I

 

THIS IS A NEW DISCOVERY. LET US REJOICE

 

GAIZ. MULAN IS STUCK IN MY HEAD which is kind of good 8D

OMG! THERE REALLY ARE BUTTONS OVER THERE! :O

 

-Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick-

 

 

Let's make a search party to go look for more buttons! :O

I never noticed those, *LOL*. They are so pwetty and blue...and pwetty.

I CANT BELIEVE WE ONLY NOTICED IT NOW THOUGH LOL

 

why is it so fun to click on it

Well, now that I'm looking for actual new buttons I've never seen before... THEY ALL BEZ HIDIN FRUM ME. D:<

Has anyone ever had a day where their mood starts low, then gets really, really high, then suddenly drops down to deep below ground?

Yeah, I have. What's wrong Ice cream?

 

 

 

 

AND GUYS! I FOUND OUT THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THE COLORS AND STUFF OF THE FORUMS AT THE BOTTOM!!! There's the TDN classic thing that I switched too that's this pretty teal color! =D

 

I imagine that most of you know about it but still, dis is kewl! :O

Yep. I was using Pro. But I just went back to classic, and man does it bring back memories. :)

Classic is prettier and has more life to it.

 

Pro is cool and all but grey get's old after a while. Now if Ian made a Halloween theme for the forums, THAT i would love. Or just a light orange one.

There was one last year.

 

Classic is just so square and blunt. It's just.... too sharp for my eyes.

ive always had classic xD idklol i like tdn when its blue. the pro just ..D: ITS DARK OK. IM NOT USED TO IT.