Angeló Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I sometimes remember stupid things I did in the past and I get goosebumps, my heart flutters and I start to think "I should have never done that" ... recently I remembered something stupid I did to my brother when we were kids (he wanted a prize at the carnival and I refused to get him one because I was a jerk, made him cry) ... I couldn't sleep that night. In the morning I called him up to apologize .. he didn't even know what I was talking about ... Now I'm having this same feeling about something stupid I did last year ... and I can't stop beating myself up !!! ... This feeling usually goes away in a short while .. but it's recurrent ... and it drains me emotionally <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornflakes Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Sigh...in a word, yes. I do this all the time. My therapist tells me it's not normal. But I do it anyway. I have a million insignificant regrets. I review things that I've said or done and I feel fresh embarrassment. It's silly. The past is the past and you can't change it. Besides, usually the things that I think are a big deal are hardly noticed by the ones I'm all worried about noticing. But I do this anyway. I think it contributes to my ever-growing disgust with people in general. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachiee Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Yeah, and I hate it when that happens. They're usually little things I've done to embarrass myself or hurt others. I have regrets like these up the wazoo- even though they're little things I shouldn't be worrying all that much about, they're big enough and strong enough to keep me awake at night or even make me cry myself to sleep thinking, "what have I done?" :sad01_anim: As much as I try to convince myself not to dwell on things that happened in the past, I can't help myself sometimes. It sucks. =/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manta Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Oh man, this happens to me all the time!! Glad i'm not the only one. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tank Girl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Unfortunately this is a huge part of BPD :/. I get that pretty much all the time, it's horrible! Keep your chin up darling, and try not to focus too much on the past. When you find yourself thinking those thoughts do something you find fun to take your mind off it! I always find that reading helps, as it's hard to think of much else when you're concentrating like that :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwistedRose Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 This is part of my past and my decision making. I do get angry at myself sometimes and say why did i do that!! :grrr: Alas, Life Goes On. :mellow: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:)Doc Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Yeah. I think back to the time where I did so many stupid things and how some of them have caused me to lose really close friends :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest iYoshinho Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 There actually has been multiple times where I have done this. But now we are friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 This happens to me alot. I remember things I've done and even if it wasn't my fault I put all the blame on myself. For instance: I had a friend in 10th grade who had just moved to NH. She had something she needed to give to the office and we were blocking the way. We weren't blocking the hallway to be complete jerks(that's one of my peeves to begin with)and she finally told me "I can find it on my own, you should go to class. I don't wait you to be late"and this guy just yells"Way to stand in my way and ruin my morning!" I turned around and said "Way to talk to a girl like that!" He called me several vulgarities and not so nice words. So I moved out of the way and said"I'm sorry" and he said"As you should be...." For days I thought"Man, if I hadn't of blocked the hallway, I wouldn't have gotten into that mess...."What really hurt is that I told the school social worker about it and she said"Well it is your fault, I feel embarassed for you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornflakes Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Just because you're inadvertently in someone's way doesn't give them the right to be rude. Although it's a lost art, there is a such thing as manners. The people trying to get by you could have just said "Excuse me, please." It's as simple as that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Yeah I get this sometimes, over ridiculous things too! I'll just get in one of those moods and obsess over the smallest thing, like when I said something stupid and I'll just keep thinking "I should have said this" Or "I should have done this instead". I hate it, its pointless and only makes me feel like I'm a social retard. I am a social retard. I have HFA, and I hate myself for it. You're not alone..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 i keep having little mini nightmares about when i broke my shoulder two months ago xD some idiot thought it would be a good idea to carry me in his arms while RUNNING in SUPER SOFT SAND....DOWNHILL. Needless to say we crashed and burned right on my shoulder. CRACK!! Of course the real nightmare is that if we were at a slightly different angle, we would have landed on my neck... :sad01_anim: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barkie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I also have many regrets that seem to come to mind without fail everynight and stop me falling asleep.I also know they are not really serious faults but they do seem like it when they surface every night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 don't worry...everyone with a conscience feels this way sometimes! it just means you have a heart. if you're feeling guilty, you must have done /something/ that you feel is wrong. all you can do is either consciously decide to "get over it" or apologize to whomever you "wronged". if this still doesn't work, then....maybe you should talk to someone? feeling guilty here and there is absolutely normal though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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