Alice ☮ Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 So today, I got a call saying that my 10-year-old little sister was sent to the principal's office for cyber-bullying on Facebook. I have no idea what to do :/ I don't use Facebook, and I was always the bullied, not the bully, so this is foreign territory to me... Any advice on how to approach this? She's never mean to anyone in person, but I guess harassing someone on Facebook is easier because it's less personal? I really don't know... :/ How can I make her understand that being mean to someone in cyberspace is just as bad as in person? I'm so stressed >_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airiya Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 So today, I got a call saying that my 10-year-old little sister was sent to the principal's office for cyber-bullying on Facebook. I have no idea what to do :/ I don't use Facebook, and I was always the bullied, not the bully, so this is foreign territory to me... Any advice on how to approach this? She's never mean to anyone in person, but I guess harassing someone on Facebook is easier because it's less personal? I really don't know... :/ How can I make her understand that being mean to someone in cyberspace is just as bad as in person? I'm so stressed >_< I have a 11 year old sister who has a Facebook (I made sure she didn't have one but my mom allowed her.) All I can do is monitor what she does. For me it's not hard since I have a very flexible schedule being in college and all. How I monitor is I allow her to use my desktop when I'm in my room studying or playing on my laptop and just watch what she does. I think it really helps that I have her as a friend on my Facebook as well, it's good to keep an eye. I may suggest you making one of your own and adding her as a friend since they show you what they have been posting etc etc. I'm sorry to hear that, I'm sure you'll figure something out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xepha Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 So today, I got a call saying that my 10-year-old little sister was sent to the principal's office for cyber-bullying on Facebook. I have no idea what to do :/ I don't use Facebook, and I was always the bullied, not the bully, so this is foreign territory to me... Any advice on how to approach this? She's never mean to anyone in person, but I guess harassing someone on Facebook is easier because it's less personal? I really don't know... :/ How can I make her understand that being mean to someone in cyberspace is just as bad as in person? I'm so stressed >_< This is just an idea... I am sure that your sister is a smart person... and if you tell her your tales of being bullied and how it made you feel, she might understand a little better how she makes other people feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice ☮ Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 I think monitoring is a good idea. I'm going to make a facebook account as well to better understand how these things work. She's just so different than I was at that age. I was the kid who'd hide in the bathroom to read so that nobody would bug me about being too tall, too nerdy, too shy, etc. >_< But my sister, she's all... social *shudders* I think it's a good idea to try and have her understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of the bullying. My little brother was picked on relentlessly at school too. And I was able to help him deal with that because I'd been there. I also don't think she realizes what an impact these things can have on a person, since she's never been in that position. *sigh* If only kids could just be nice to each other! I'm reading up on cyber-bullying and how to deal with it, so hopefully by the time I speak with her tonight, I'll have a better grasp on the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xepha Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Yea I was more the kind of kid who reads all the time in elementary school. People were telling me that I couldn't bring books outside during the break and I was just replying that since they were not school's books, I could do anything I wanted with them. I would read while walking too... And when I was making friends, and trying to integrate some groups, it always ended up by being rejected in some mean ways o.O Like "Excuse me, but we don't want you to hang with us" o.O Kids and teens can be so mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice ☮ Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 No kidding! >_< I'll let you guys know what she said later (if it's not too inappropriate). I'm so curious to find out what she said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornflakes Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 The first thing I would have asked is, "What did she say?" because the word "bullying" has grown a monstrous amount of connotations. Then, depending on what was said, I would have a long talk with the kid. They're still learning...it's impossible for them to know the right things to say at all times. I have to correct my 11-year-old son on occasion, and he is one of the sweetest children I know. Additionally, if you don't have any kids of your own, I think you should let your parent(s) handle it. I don't know why *you're* stressed, it's not your kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hrtbrk Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Random question, but how did the principal get involved? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice ☮ Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 The kid printed the online conversation and showed it to their teacher, who then showed it to the principal, who then called me. And I'll let her/our parents deal with it when they get back, but for the time being, she's with me. And her/our parents are going to be taking parenting courses soon, so hopefully they'll be able to handle it better than I can! :P (This weekend they'll be back, and at that point I won't have to worry anymore). I know it probably isn't a huge deal, but she's never gotten into any trouble whatsoever until today, so it's a bit of a shock! o_O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 According to my younger sisters, a lot of elementary and even high schools urge any bullying, now including cyber-bullying to be reported to teachers/principals. Though I do not support bullying in ANY way, shape, or form, I fail to see why bullying outside of school should be the responsibility of teachers. It's the parents of these children that should be taking responsibility for what their children are doing online, and in person. I agree with the comment above that bullying is becoming more of an issue because of the anonymity that you have with online forums like facebook, twitter, msn, etc. I've always been taught that being online is a privilege, not a right. When I was growing up, my parents were sure to let me know this. If any of us kids were abusing our online priviliges (bullying, neglecting homework, neglecting chores, etc), we simply would not be allowed to use those things. Think of it like cyber-grounding. You could try talking to her about your experiences, as others have suggested, but if she continues with this behaviour, it would probably be a good idea to get your parents involved, perhaps mentioning that suspending her online activities may help her in getting the message not to abuse her online freedom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornflakes Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Ah. Well in that case, I would just ban her off the Facebook until the 'rents get back. Facebook is a privilege, not a right. Rule with an iron fist, I always say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marabot 108 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I know how you feel Alice, even now people still call em names and push me in the hallway, so much for a 0 bullying tolerance. Anyways, my brother is the same way, so I dread when he gets a facebook, though if there's one thing I've learned: they're listen to you more then their parents. Here are some steps i take: 1. What did they do. 2. Step back and take a look, thinking about what happened. 3. Discuss with your sibling and explain to them that they need to understand that there will be punishments. 4. Negotiate Punishment with child, make it fair, and no too strong either way. 5. Show plan to parents. 6. Explain what happened 7. Discuss 8. Family Meeting 9. Punishment goes through 10. wait... 11. repeat steps 1-10 if needed 12. success! 0-0 SOCIAL? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornflakes Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I know how you feel Alice, even now people still call em names and push me in the hallway, so much for a 0 bullying tolerance. Anyways, my brother is the same way, so I dread when he gets a facebook, though if there's one thing I've learned: they're listen to you more then their parents. Here are some steps i take: 1. What did they do. 2. Step back and take a look, thinking about what happened. 3. Discuss with your sibling and explain to them that they need to understand that there will be punishments. 4. Negotiate Punishment with child, make it fair, and no too strong either way. 5. Show plan to parents. 6. Explain what happened 7. Discuss 8. Family Meeting 9. Punishment goes through 10. wait... 11. repeat steps 1-10 if needed 12. success! 0-0 SOCIAL? Uh, do you have kids? Because according to your profile, you're only 15. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marabot 108 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I know how you feel Alice, even now people still call em names and push me in the hallway, so much for a 0 bullying tolerance. Anyways, my brother is the same way... Well, reading the first few sentences, you can see I refer to my current school experience and my younger brother :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syrin of Neopia Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I don't have kids yet, though I agree with those who have said that access to the Internet, social-networking sites, etc., is a privilege, not a right. Monitoring is a good idea for now and if the behavior doesn't change, then a ban should probably be instituted. If she has been saying things that the other student(s) and principal have decided is bullying, then both you and your parents might want to sit down with her and ask why she feels like she can say these things online, but not in person. One thing I was always taught is "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". This should be true online as well. On places like Facebook, anonymity doesn't truly exist because you can be tracked. If kids understand that they can and will be held accountable for what they do online, then they will be less likely to act badly knowing that there are still consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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