antiaircraft Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 <p>Disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily). <img src="https://images.neopets.com/altador/altadorcup/head_shots/terrormountain_4.gif" style="float:left;margin:5px;">It's been yet another 24 hours of the Altador Cup, and teams all over the leaderboard are contending hard to consolidate their positions. With the halfway point of the first round robin edging onto the horizon, everybody's eager to make sure that they have some solid ground to work from as the season starts to hit full swing. Let's go to our on-field- *FZZT!* *CRRR!* Warning: News broadcast signal lost. Auto-tuning to nearest available frequency. "-and I was like, OF COURSE NOT, it's probably just infected. Is this thing on? Oh sweet, it's working! Yo boys and girls, it's Noog here again! Day five is over and the dust has settled, or maybe it hasn't. I can't really see. I think I lost a contact... GOT IT! Where was I at? Oh yeah. The results are in and I have a whole bunch of stuff to tell you. I'm here with the Cup updates live at... this really cold mountain... where's that darn brochure... Terror Mountain! Let's start with the live stuff. It was a cold one between those Robots and the Chillers. The defroster peeps are still working on the score thingies, but it looks like the Chillers took both Shootout Showdown and Make Some Noise, while those Robots won Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger. I've got a fan over here who wants to talk about- hey! Hey! Come back! Oh never mind, I'll just ask this shop owner who stood out here all day in this cold weather for his team. Well, he was standing by this giant bonfire, but whatever. I'll go talk to him. "We decided to halt the Slushie making for today while we shot it out. We knew that we would leave a big impression if we could beat them in Shootout Showdown." Yeah, the Chillers beat last year's Shootout champions. Did I forget to mention that? I should have brought a jacket, I think I have frostbite. Is that a snicklebeast over there? Oh. Uh-oh. I really need to go... I mean literally. Yeah. Hold up. *FZZZZT!* *rustle* *phoomp!* *rustle* Uh... yeah. This tree should do it. Okay... in Maraqua, Moltara got extinguished because they couldn't bring the heat. You see what I did there? Bring the heat? They should be paying me for this! Anyway, it was a clean sweep for the Mermaids, while the Magmas are trying to find their experience amongst all the experience of the experienced teams they keep running into. That's why they're dead last I guess. We had another clean sweep somewhere... I can't remember where. Let me get my notes. Yeah... the Knights were able to take the Lakers out in every game. Nice rebound too, I think, since they haven't been doing too- GAH! My notes! Uh... well. I guess Meridell left them sleeping with the fishes! Get it? What, wrong team? What do you mean that's a Maraqua joke? Man you guys have no humor at all. OH MY GOSH! SOMEBODY TO INTERVIEW! Hey! Hey you! What do you have to say about what happened here today? "Not too bad, Faerieland was more of a challenge to be honest." That's a sharp blow, comparing them to the Faeries who are currently seventeenth. Wait... what team are you playing for again? "Uh... Mystery Island." Oh! Darn it! Wrong team! Uh... okay, go back to whatever you were doing. The next matchup included the most intense games of the day. How can I tell? I couldn't get a single blasted slushie, darn it! The Natives of Mystery Island and the Minions of the Citadel were playing I think. In fact, there were a bunch of ambulances picking up some fans after the Noise Making struggle. They wouldn't let me ride in one though. The Minions were able to pull off the victory in Make Some Noise, while drawing in all of the other games. Now let's move over to those Faeries, who barely avoided a sweep by playing lots and lots of Yooyuball. You can still see the skid marks on the Yooyuball field, but for some reason the dumb security guys wouldn't let me go up and touch them. I guess they couldn't let the Suns fly away with them or whatever. That matchup seemed to be intense... I couldn't tell that well though, I was, like, trying to get a slushie the whole time. Of course I couldn't get a slushie because of these guys that keep getting back in line. Yeah... anyway, the Suns now have a little breathing room in the standings I guess. So next we had these other guys, the Moons and the Fossils! Yeah, I thought everyone was just being weird talking about rocks too, but hey I'm picking up news slang now, see! I know they're actually teams from Kreludor and Tyrannia. And now you do too! Aren't I informative? The Fossils stayed with their strengths, whatever those are, and won Shootout Showdown and Make Some Noise, while the Moons were able to win Yooyuball and make a surprising draw in Slushie Slinger. Eww, those slushies are probably really dirty... you know, from the rocks. Ick! Now Krawk Island and the Haunted Woods. The Pirates were able to get that stuff when they won every match except for a draw in Make Some Noise. How do those Pirates talk again? AGH! ACK! ARRR! They got the booty! Yeah, that's it, that's the word I wanted. And the other team... what were their names again? Really, the Zombies? Are those guys really dead? Wait... what? Shut up and keep reporting? That's not an answer! Are they dangerous? Look! I'm not going to get attacked by a zombie! I'll just report on another match. Uh... where was I. The Ninjas and the Roos! No zombies here! Wait, we have Pirates and Ninjas in this tournament? Never mind that... the Ninjas were able to show that they still have that potential stuff everybody talks about, by running up draws in Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger, and Shootout Showdown, and revealing their super ninja identities by getting loud in Make Some Noise. I thought Ninjas were supposed to be stealthy? Ooooh, a fortune cookie! It says that the results of tomorrow's matches will be... HEY! GIVE THAT BACK! Thieves... anyway... ooooh it's those Marauder Mummies from yesterday! According to this card I grabbed from a random trash can, they kept the top spot with a win in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown! The Wizards were able to win the other side games. So yeah... *FRRRZZZT!* Hey, I think my voice is going in and out. Wheeeee! I'm in a tunnel! *POP!* *CRACK!* *CRRR!*" Warning: News broadcast signal lost. Auto-tuning to nearest available frequency. -wraps up the day nicely. Well, let's take a look at what interesting matches the coming day has in store. After a clean sweep of Moltara and a narrow victory over Roo Island respectively, Teams Maraqua and Shenkuu will be facing each other on the field for the first time this year. Both teams have the potential to make the top-tier this year, and both teams have been starting out fairly slow. While victory or defeat at this point certainly won't make or break their chances of climbing the podium, the winner will certainly get a much needed confidence boost for its supporters. Meanwhile, the Citadel and the Roo Islanders, two fairly strong middle-tier teams, will clash in a determined effort to secure themselves firmly in the second tier. That's all we have time for in this report. This is AA, reporting for The Daily Neopets, signing off. Play well, and good luck!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blurrz Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Classy News Post :)! It was a difficult and hard fought Shootout Showdown for me and my fellow TOTM members, but I'm glad it paid off. Chillin' like a undefeated ShoSho villain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted May 31, 2010 Author Share Posted May 31, 2010 Classy News Post :)! Uh... yeah, we apologise for the technical difficulties with the report. :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackJaguar Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Great report! If only we don't have interferences from those solar flares... (Noog did you bring your sunblock? Those solar flares are dea... *burned by a flare*) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryce Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Heh you forgot/didn't add anything anything about the Lost Desert & Brightvale match... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:)Doc Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Way to go Maraqua I knew we could do it! :woot: :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackJaguar Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Heh you forgot/didn't add anything anything about the Lost Desert & Brightvale match... Actually there is.. It's a bit short since we all expect for Lost Desert to win it... (plus there was a slight name change and forgot to capitalize it so yeah sorry for that) Thieves... anyway... ooooh it's those marauder mummies from yesterday! According to this card I grabbed from a random trash can, they kept the top spot with a win in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown! The Wizards were able to win the other side games. So yeah... *FRRRZZZT!* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secre Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Actually there is.. It's a bit short since we all expect for Lost Desert to win it... (plus there was a slight name change and forgot to capitalize it so yeah sorry for that) Ah, yes, so there is! I'd completely missed that as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted May 31, 2010 Author Share Posted May 31, 2010 Ah, yes, so there is! I'd completely missed that as well! Well, seeing as the vast majority of today's report was a broadcast we accidentally picked up from an amateur radio operator, I'm quite surprised that it's fairly complete. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j_l_e_s_t Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Way to go Maraqua I knew we could do it! :woot: :king: I truly believe HW is better than KI and RI. The people on my HW team need to stand up and actually try. ♪♪ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheChameleon Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Hahahaha, awesome news post! Very much appreciated :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ryan Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Ugh, that MI match was scary. D: I was a their board for the last 10 minutes o the match and someone named Jake said hey couldn't see themselves losing YYB. I went back to my board and said i was really tempted to tell him to get some glasses, and an MIer at our board went and told him instead. xDDD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAV of Gang Green Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Well, today's the day. The teams with the biggest fan bases on TDN make all out war. I see a future riot on TDN. And by riot, I mean more feuding between me and Tyler. I guess Meridell left them sleeping with the fishes! Get it? What, wrong team? What do you mean that's a Maraqua joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackJaguar Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Well, today's the day. The teams with the biggest fan bases on TDN make all out war. I see a future riot on TDN. And by riot, I mean more feuding between me and Tyler. I believe that is my signal to alert all mods in the vicinity!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tempdisplay Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Too much slang o_O I didn't know Sun was Altador, I didn't know Sun was a team! And who are the Wizards? Besides that, great report as always ;) Maraqua needs to fight hard to keep up a good reputation. Poor Shenkuu :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost Deserter Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Wizards are commonly referred to as Brightvalians. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureTXTurkey Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 The V-Pets Are In It To Win It This Year! I am so proud of my teammates! I think we are looking pretty good and I just hope we don't flame out early... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:)Doc Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Ugh, that MI match was scary. D: I was a their board for the last 10 minutes o the match and someone named Jake said hey couldn't see themselves losing YYB. I went back to my board and said i was really tempted to tell him to get some glasses, and an MIer at our board went and told him instead. xDDD I am actually kind of a noob when it comes to some stuff x_x ; what do you mean on their team's board? Like how would I get to a Maraquan team board? :guiltysmiley: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piximon Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I'm a big fan of your reports, and I make time to read them every day, even though I shouldn't, but you do a great job! I usually love the character you add to the analysis, but this week's voice was a tiny bit annoying to read... Please fire that reporter. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Person335 Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Aww man... this is not going too well. Losing five days in a row is not a good record to start with. I guess we are still in the process of 'warming up'. But trust me: In a little bit, you'll be seeing fire on the field! b) P.S. Interesting report. Lengthy, but cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voteforpedro333 Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 ..this post just blew my mind. Stupid solar flares are giving me a headache. Since we're on a bad joke spree, I'd just like to say that just cause we're Lost doesn't mean we've lost! And no, we don't watch Lost... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAV of Gang Green Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 I believe that is my signal to alert all mods in the vicinity!!! Yes, yes it is. Me and Tyler are already arguing via Neomail. It won't be too long before it spills into TDN. What's funny is that while Me and Ty are yelling at each other, CS is in a corner playing YYB, and Trinston is nowhere to be seen. What team did he join anyway, CS? I haven't been to the HAMS site in a while. I am actually kind of a noob when it comes to some stuff x_x ; what do you mean on their team's board? Like how would I get to a Maraquan team board? :guiltysmiley: Team boards are pages made on Neopets where they talk only about their team and whomever they're facing that day. For Maraqua, it's WAM! (We Are Maraqua) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:)Doc Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Yes, yes it is. Me and Tyler are already arguing via Neomail. It won't be too long before it spills into TDN. What's funny is that while Me and Ty are yelling at each other, CS is in a corner playing YYB, and Trinston is nowhere to be seen. What team did he join anyway, CS? I haven't been to the HAMS site in a while. Team boards are pages made on Neopets where they talk only about their team and whomever they're facing that day. For Maraqua, it's WAM! (We Are Maraqua) oh... thanks! :laughingsmiley: This post has been edited by a member of staff (Native) because of a violation of the forum rules. Please keep your posts at least 7 words long. Quotes do not contribute to the post count. Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted June 1, 2010 Author Share Posted June 1, 2010 I'm a big fan of your reports, and I make time to read them every day, even though I shouldn't, but you do a great job! I usually love the character you add to the analysis, but this week's voice was a tiny bit annoying to read... Please fire that reporter. :P Well, we'd have to hire him first. ;) And just for the sake of clarity, our reports are actually assembled by a full team of staff contributing opinions and informal analysis, including two staffers whose job it is to write the actual report (one for the on-field part and the other for the studio part). :yes: ..this post just blew my mind. Stupid solar flares are giving me a headache. Since we're on a bad joke spree, I'd just like to say that just cause we're Lost doesn't mean we've lost! And no, we don't watch Lost... :laughingsmiley: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackJaguar Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 I'm a big fan of your reports, and I make time to read them every day, even though I shouldn't, but you do a great job! I usually love the character you add to the analysis, but this week's voice was a tiny bit annoying to read... Please fire that reporter. :P It seems the reporter was a bit on the ADHD side... :P He's luckier than me since I always get injured every year (I was thrown overboard by Pirates in AC 3 and got hit by a Yooyuball in the head last year. Not to mention getting mob by MSN fans and drank poison slushie.) ..this post just blew my mind. Stupid solar flares are giving me a headache. Since we're on a bad joke spree, I'd just like to say that just cause we're Lost doesn't mean we've lost! And no, we don't watch Lost... Yes, those solar flares are giving us headache too. I think we should shield our equipments from UV... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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