I'm upset. Someone have advice?

[Tamara]

http://www.neopets.com/~dragoncrush

 

People don't like it. They say its too "professional" and there is too much text and not enough art. I had a week and a half to submit this application. I already sent out the Neomail to the adopter. I haven't heard back from them yet, but people keep telling me my application isn't original. What I wrote is unoriginal, and that I talk too much about myself?

 

The adopter has no preference for pet pages. She was just taking neomail applications. By creating this entire page, I've shown my interest.

 

I'm really bummed out right now. Almost to the point that I'm just going to drop this, because people are too critical.

 

This is the adopter's page: http://www.neopets.com/~Anthrix

 

I don't know what to do at this point. Should I just forget about it, take peoples advice and REDO the whole freaking thing or just not get my hopes up? :\

 

EDIT: I have added to the page and spiced it up a little bit.

[Xepha]

I wouldn't redo it. It has a nice professional feeling (and yes, professional is something I value!). You could add more of your own art. Even examples of what you did for your other pets.

 

 

I'm extremely involved in the creative world of Neopia, and have started to draw and design again; something that I hadn't done in almost two years. Since my return to Neopets, I have already entered my littlest girl (Serannis, the Usul) into the Beauty Contest and won third place.

 

Show her! She looked awesome!! ;D

 

And even if you don't get the pet in the end, don't take it wrong. There is a lot of competition for such a rare pet.

[eekabee]

Yes, you could add more of your art but, I think all the writing is nice it is an application you wouldn't colour all over a job app would you.

[Tamara]

Yes, you could add more of your art but, I think all the writing is nice it is an application you wouldn't colour all over a job app would you.

 

Thats exactly my point. I don't want to put the adopter through an acid trip, just because my application is "too plain" and "too personal" or "too professional".

 

I'm a professional. I'm a romantic. I show my dedication through art and design.

 

I guess thats not enough for some people...

 

I wouldn't redo it. It has a nice professional feeling (and yes, professional is something I value!). You could add more of your own art. Even examples of what you did for your other pets.

 

See, you like professionalism - some people think its too boring!

 

And even if you don't get the pet in the end, don't take it wrong. There is a lot of competition for such a rare pet.

 

I know... I don't have my hopes up. I guess that this will just give me a reason to try and get a Draik potion or something. Even if she's just a purple Draik, I can still use what I made today for her. Maybe I can find a good name to resemble or something.

 

By the way, thanks Xepha. You've made me feel better... ;-;

[~Mike~]

Yeah you really do show that you are romantic and very creative throughout the whole thing. For me it was a little too much but i'm a guy. If you are caught up on the fact that your application wasn't original I would say your writing is original but the whole layout and concept and themes were very unoriginal. I do not know what the person was looking for in an app, or maybe you were just one of the last ones she read and it just came off bad to her due to reading too many.

 

I guess with applying it helps to know what the person is looking for if you really want to have the best chance. Being yourself doesn't always get you what you want. Not saying that you shouldn't have left it the way it is, I think it was very well written and demonstrates who you are very well. I guess I mean that I understand where the adopter was coming from.

[Tamara]

Yeah you really do show that you are romantic and very creative throughout the whole thing. For me it was a little too much but i'm a guy. If you are caught up on the fact that your application wasn't original I would say your writing is original but the whole layout and concept and themes were very unoriginal. I do not know what the person was looking for in an app, or maybe you were just one of the last ones she read and it just came off bad to her due to reading too many.

 

I guess with applying it helps to know what the person is looking for if you really want to have the best chance. Being yourself doesn't always get you what you want. Not saying that you shouldn't have left it the way it is, I think it was very well written and demonstrates who you are very well. I guess I mean that I understand where the adopter was coming from.

 

It wasn't the adopter who said all those harsh things. It was random people.

 

Concept and themes are "very unoriginal"? Ouch.

 

Like I said, everything has been done before. There is nothing I can do to vary something SO much that it won't seem like something someone else has seen. Most of the time, I see I-Frames. At least I moved away from that aspect and did a div layout. Your very vague, could you emphasize more on what you mean?

[Ruto]

Those people aren't deciding if your application is good enough for their pet. Only the Draik's owner is.

 

Maybe the owner values professionalism, to help them find who's serious about owning their beloved pet. Since they didn't give specifics on what they wanted, your application is as good as anyone else's.

 

Best of luck to you. :)

[Tamara]

Those people aren't deciding if your application is good enough for their pet. Only the Draik's owner is.

 

Maybe the owner values professionalism, to help them find who's serious about owning their beloved pet. Since they didn't give specifics on what they wanted, your application is as good as anyone else's.

 

Best of luck to you. :)

 

Thanks. If I don't get chosen, atleast I tried and I have another goal to add to my list. Someday to have a Draik, as far fetched as a goal that is. Maybe someday.

 

Because I really liked drawing Muirin's design, even though she's simple. I don't like complexity.

 

I just got the neomail from the owner saying she received the application. So, I just crossed the point of no return.

[~Mike~]

well I think specifically, for me is that it is an application. It is Hi, I love your pet, this is why i love your pet, i will take good care of it, this is what i'll do with it, this is why i'm a good owner, I promise to take good care of it, these people believe i'll be a good owner, thank you.

 

I dont know if it is just neopets users but I would expect almost every user to come up with something like this. That is the only thing i'm saying is unoriginal. AND yes you are right, it is very hard to do something that they haven't seen before. I'm not giving you a hard time I was just giving my input because you are seeking people's input.

 

The romantic writing was a bit much for me, even with my 3 years of college. A bit too descriptive and like it brought me into lala land.

 

What else I meant was that, I don't know what the adopter was looking for, for all I know he would have been happy with a crayon drawn picture of you holding hands with your new pet. Maybe he/she I don't know was looking for a younger person, or someone that seemed a little more excited and happy and energetic and like WOAH I REALLY RELLY REALLY RALLY WREALLY WANT THIS PET.!!! You know.

 

 

/Edit

 

Oh and sorry for me being dumb, I don't know where I thought I read it but for some reason I was under the impression that you said that you didn't get it. If its still undecided i'm sure you have a very good chance. It might be what the adopter is looking for hah. <---kicks himself in the shin*

[Tamara]

well I think specifically, for me is that it is an application. It is Hi, I love your pet, this is why i love your pet, i will take good care of it, this is what i'll do with it, this is why i'm a good owner, I promise to take good care of it, these people believe i'll be a good owner, thank you.

 

I dont know if it is just neopets users but I would expect almost every user to come up with something like this. That is the only thing i'm saying is unoriginal.

 

Well, an application is just that. An application. An expression of interest. An introduction. Something to inform.

 

I see it like a job application. All the application have the same basis. Sometimes they vary, sometimes they don't.

 

If the owner didn't even want petpages, it should be a plus if someone invests the time into making one when its more required.

 

Its something to let the owner decide who Muirin goes to. Yes, some people are more creative with theirs - but they almost have more time. I had only a week and a half, sadly. Thats the best I could do, and thats including staying up until 7am last Saturday working on it.

 

If thats not dedication, I don't know what is.

[flyingeevee]

Well, an application is just that. An application. An expression of interest. An introduction. Something to inform.

 

I see it like a job application. All the application have the same basis. Sometimes they vary, sometimes they don't.

 

If the owner didn't even want petpages, it should be a plus if someone invests the time into making one when its more required.

 

Its something to let the owner decide who Muirin goes to. Yes, some people are more creative with theirs - but they almost have more time. I had only a week and a half, sadly. Thats the best I could do, and thats including staying up until 7am last Saturday working on it.

 

If thats not dedication, I don't know what is.

 

With that short amount of time, I know you deserve her as much as the ones that had more free time to get more into detail and creative with theirs ^^

 

I wish you lots and lots of luck on getting the draik! :)

 

...I'm still wondering what ever happened to the owner of the Krawk I made an application for :( he said he was gonna decide in July....it's August...

[Tanooki]

You did a great job with your application. It reflects well on who you are, your maturity level, and the professional attitude that the info page exhibits.

Your application is great, very in depth!

 

You have to remember that criticism isn't always the best advice.

 

 

Mike, it is in no way unoriginal. She wrote about her own pets, her own world.

As she said, it is an application. Talking about other things would only disgruntle the person who is making the decision, and leave the questions she wants answered unanswered.

 

Honestly, she did a good job doing the expected things while also fleshing it out with added details that were "unneeded" but a nice flourish.

[~Mike~]

with half the neopians out there being under 12 or 14 i think it was, not everyone has the experience or age that people of our age do. So for a "neopets" application the person might not care so much about structure, punctuation etc.

 

For example, the other week a person was selling 4 of this item i wanted at 1.2 million neopoints each on the trading post. I go on, and offer her 4.8 million neopoints for the lot and she refuses because " they were spoken for". Just because they say they want an application doesn't always mean they want a formal application, just like how some people say they want neopoints, but to them its more "important" that the person gets their "dream pet" as she said.

 

Its safe to say I was upset about my situation but that's just me :P

 

"Mike, it is in no way unoriginal. She wrote about her own pets, her own world."

 

I said the structure wasn't original not the content.

 

/edit

 

Either way I'm done in here, people can criticize me for my critizizizizms all they want. I'll let you get back to getting other people's feedback, you don't need me in here taking up all your time.

 

This post has been edited by a member of staff (Ruto) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Please do not double post; use the edit button instead.

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[Tanooki]

The owner's page she posted in her first page show that a degree of professionalism and taking your time to make a worthy application would be appreciated.

 

I've personally learned from experience that trying to reinvent manners of display often work against you.

It's better to go with a way that doesn't require too much figuring out.

[Masaryk]

Personally, I really liked your application, Tamara. Were it up to me, you would likely be getting this pet: you put care into your spelling and grammar, you didn't beg, you connected your desire to own this pet to who you are, and you gave specific examples of your intentions for this pet. Plus, I'm a big gamer nerd (as is my husband), so your personal backstory connected to the pet's name was HUGE bonus points for me.

 

But, I'm not the one deciding who will get this pet, and I don't get ANY feel, whatsoever, for what the pet's owner is looking for in a new owner for this pet. But I think it will be appreciated that your took the time to proofread your app and put thought into your reasons for wanting this pet.

 

I wish you the best of luck in this competition.

[Tamara]

With that short amount of time, I know you deserve her as much as the ones that had more free time to get more into detail and creative with theirs ^^

 

I wish you lots and lots of luck on getting the draik! :)

 

...I'm still wondering what ever happened to the owner of the Krawk I made an application for :( he said he was gonna decide in July....it's August...

 

Thanks Eevee. I worked hard, for quite a few days, and I'm happy with the result. If people think I need more "spice" - then I guess they're just used to seeing overly flambouyant pages like this: http://www.neopets.com/~Autechra

 

I like using that person as an example. Its over the top. x_x; And yet, she doesn't invest any amount of time talking about herself. If I was adopting out a pet, I would like to know about the person playing Neopets; not so much what the pet is going to do. Because talk is cheap.

 

 

You did a great job with your application. It reflects well on who you are, your maturity level, and the professional attitude that the info page exhibits.

Your application is great, very in depth!

 

You have to remember that criticism isn't always the best advice.

 

 

Mike, it is in no way unoriginal. She wrote about her own pets, her own world.

As she said, it is an application. Talking about other things would only disgruntle the person who is making the decision, and leave the questions she wants answered unanswered.

 

Honestly, she did a good job doing the expected things while also fleshing it out with added details that were "unneeded" but a nice flourish.

 

Thank you very much, Tanooki. I really appreciate your words.

[flyingeevee]

*checks petpage* my goodness x_x I hope that a lot of the owners realize that there are some GREAT owners that aren't total experts on html and css ^^; I can tell she put a lot of work on that but you're right, not much info about the person behind the art and such.

 

I still like how yours was professional and shows that you're serious about adopting this pet that ANYONE would want (especially with the fact draiks are worth more than 10 mil)

[stephie23]

I like it! :) ... Im not really an expert on the subject of applications or anything, but I think its really good. Just ignore the nay-sayers.. theres always going to be a critic somewhere in the crowd.. :) stay positive!!

[caliama]

I absolutely love it! I Rread the entire thing! =)

People that say it's just too professional or whatever

are probably just jealous. I know I am! =P Very nice!

Don't let other people bring you down!

[luv2lindy77]

I like it. It's well-balanced, easy to read, and has a nice amount of information. It looks to me like you did your best and expressed yourself well. I'm hoping it works out for you, but I'm not the person with the pet, so I don't know what they will find intriguing. It would certainly be an application that I would consider, were I to post a special pet for adoption. Everybody has a different idea of what they think makes a good application, so I wouldn't take the criticism too harshly. You have a beautiful presentation and good content. Beyond that, it's just personal taste. :)

[Zombiiesque]

I agree that it sounds professional; I wouldn't however say that it sounds too professional. I personally think it has the right balance, and I like that you've included so much about yourself, as well as your other pets. It's obvious you've taken a lot of time and consideration in making the application - which is great considering the short window you've had to work in. She's gorgeous and has a lovely name - I wish you luck.

[Tamara]

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the feedback and the find words, as well as the luck.

 

For the sake of arguement, I started writing a short story.

 

Summary: How Muirin and her Ukali, Naginata, came to meet and become such close friends.

 

I'm not finished yet, still writing it out.

 

---

 

She fell from the clouds

And onto the ground

In a world quiet and cold

She sat to her knees

As she peered down at me

With question

Throughout her expression

 

“What are you?” the purple dragon asked curiously. I glanced up at her nervously, my wings trembling in the cold breeze. Her leaf green hues gazed upon me sternly, making me continuously unsettled.

“Are you hurt?” her voice was gentle, a sweet and kind tone that expressed the concern of a mother. I could not speak. I was simply paralyzed in her gaze. The power of her eyes seemed to peer right through my tiny little being. Before I had a chance to regain myself, I felt cold scaly paws swoop down beneath my bottom and scoop me up against the warmth of her chest.

“Its okay little one… don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you.” She cooed in her angelic voice. I trembled again. I was simply startled by her affection. That’s when I remembered why I had ended up at the bottom of a Meridell ravine.

 

I cried out, the sharp pain in my leg was excruciating. My yelp must have caught my rescuer off-guard, because she jumped almost immediately.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in a hasty voice. She lifted me up near her face, holding me up from my underarms.

“Oh my…!” she cried out, looking down at my tiny leg. I cried out again as she pressed me once more against her chest, “don’t worry, you’ll be okay little Ukali – I’ll take care of you.”

 

In one swift movement, she was back in the sky, working her wings hard against the wind and rain. The night had begun to get colder and it seemed the clouds had gotten thicker. The pain in my leg ran through my body like ice. When the Draik felt me shutter in pain, she pumped her wings harder. Wherever our destination was, it was better than sitting at the bottom of a ravine waiting for the inevitable. I tried my hardest to keep myself pressed against the security of her body, but the pain was overwhelming. I felt my world begin to drift away, and everything darkened….

 

“Little Ukali…wake up, please…”

 

That voice. I knew it from somewhere. That angelic tone sounded urgent, almost desperate.

“Please…” I felt a scaly hand run along my wing, as it trembeled from the sensation. I tried to move, but my world seemed almost distant. I must have done something, because I heard a deep sigh of relief.

 

“Think it’ll be alright?” asked a male voice. He didn’t sound so angelic…

“I hope so…” she replied, as I felt the hand run along my side. I trembled again.

“Well, I think you should go freshen up. You were out there for a while, you might get sick, Muu.” The masculin voice came again, a tone that seemed parental.

“Alright, Goodwine…” she responded, in a defeated tone. She still sounded concerned. The gentle petting on my side stopped, as footsteps faded out of the warm room. The silence was almost soothing. Before I knew it, I drifted back to sleep.

 

Days went by, and I continued to sleep. The pain in my leg had toned down substancially. At one point it felt like nothing was really wrong. It was one night, when the room had fallen silent that I heard a voice. It was that sweet, melancholy voice of that Draik who saved me. My heavy eyes became lighter, as I slowly opened them. The room was dim, the only light coming from a warm fire across the room.

[Deepti M.]

I think it sounds great. It does NOT sound too professional, it has exactly the right amount of it, and I suspect that they're just trying to get you to change your application because they're jealous of you, and they don't want you to get the pet. Good luck on the Royal Draik!

[celticheavens]

At first look, I won't want to read it sadly. I am not saying the quality of your work is off or anything (I've read it the last time before you added the story, and found it rather good) but it's too wordy for my liking. It's good that you did inject different elements into the piece, but yes, some art will help spice everything up. I'd say put the 'Muirin's stats' column in the main text area with the rest. This might help even out the art and the words a little since the current impression of having 'not enough art' can be due to the art mainly centered at the lower right corner of the page.

 

I do like the story though, another creative element to your advantage! Perhaps a mini art at the body to sort of 'break' the story from the rest of the body? IMO, this might make people want to continue reading it even if they do not take much interest in the story.

 

Basically, I think your app is good in terms of quality and such. Do not give up just because of critisisms. People may have different views from you and no use putting yourself down because of that, especially with all your hard work placed in it. And competition's tough definitely. Perhaps you might want to tweak your layout/presentation a little to entice readers a little more, but like I've mentioned before, that's just what I think. :D Do keep up the good work and good luck!

[tempdisplay]

Wow, your lookup is amazing, the header picture, it's like real. Anywya, Im here to say that after looking fully at your app, I must say that it's AMAZING. Really why weren't you accepted? I think you could out on the words and increase the letter but that's it. The whole thing is FAB-U-LOUS! :D I'm seriuos T_T

 

Should I appeal that they reconsider you as a adopter?