Bluerang1's Victoria's Vase

[tempdisplay]

Hey guys, I'm planing on writing a detective story series to enter into the Neopian Times. It is based on a 3 page story I did for my english assessment. Now how to make it 1500 words per part will be hard but I guess I'll just fill it with heeps loads of discription and add a lot more extra info as I only had 3 clues on the original thing  :P I'll post parts of the series over the next few weeks or maybe even days, more likely days :laughingsmiley:  So stay tuned.

 

Here's part One, tell me what you think. This is Victoria Vase (Same name as original story) Also say any funny Neopia related or general related thing you see. Also do tell how I can improve, please not too much, writting is hard :laughingsmiley:

 

Part 1 - The Set-Up

 

The hot island sun was concentrating on Kitthie through the thick windows of the Training School. Kitthie Bluer, who was getting bored of the Techo Mistress’ teaching, was twiddling her basic, now a bit tatty, pencil between her fingers as she stared at the clock hoping for the school day to end soon. Only two minutes now until she thought, as she started to notice the heat of the sun on her face, she held her right palm over her forehead to block the sun away. Dring! Dring! The bold red school bell rang; Kitthie grabbed her pink Kadoatie backpack and headed out the classroom through the loose straw doors of the room.

“Don’t forget to complete your Codestone essays for tomorrow!” The Techo Mistress called.

 

Lots of thoughts filled Kitthie’s head, thoughts of the cases she and her siblings solved, all the clues they found, how they nearly got in trouble and fell out as a group. However, all this didn’t get in the way of her only desire; to spend some none sleuth related time with her older sister and younger brother. She made her way down the school hallway; some student were retrieving items from their bamboo lockers, some heading into their extra curriculum activities; the rest chatting away in their small groups. That was where Kitthie was headed, to the group with three girls and two boys, the group that was standing in front of training room 3, the group where her sister Croy was in standing the middle laughing away with her friends. As Kitthie approached the group, Croy saw her heading their way, then Croy’s smile began to fall, it became a frown. She excused herself from her friends and headed out to meet her little sister.

 

“Hey Kitthie,” she began with a smile, “something’s come up, you see I won’t be able to walk with you home today. Sorry.”

Kitthie wasn’t happy, and it showed clearly on her earlier enthusiastic face. “Oh, I was looking forward to the three of us spending some time together.”

“Well, we were going as a trio, how about you and Cheikz just go as a duo.” Croy suggested.

Kitthie didn’t look so gloomy anymore, “Alright then. See you at home.”

With that Croy headed back to her friends waving goodbye at her sister.

 

Thud! Kitthie turned round to see a pumping red face staring back at her. It was her brother Cheikz exhausted from running.

“Kitthie I’m sorry but I’ve run into trouble with Master I can’t come with you today have detention for a long time bye!” Cheikz informed rather hyperactively without pausing; then headed speedily towards the direction of the detention room. Kitthie didn’t have a chance to speak; she hung her head down in disappointment then headed out the school exit.

 

She could have walked home with her friends Mira and Tonnie but was too disappointed to do so, besides, they had probably have left already as she said she will be with her siblings today. To relieve herself of distress, Kitthie decided to take the long way home today. She headed north of the Island; past Techo Mountain which she feels speaks to her whenever she goes past it. Next she went left towards the Trading Post avoiding the spooky Lost City and arousing smell of the Cooking Pot. She then went south, past the Island Arena where the top school students trained on Fridays, she saw her friend Sir_Gemely there, past the market place where she was tempted to purchase something by all the attractive ads. Past Tropical Fruits where she always got freaked out by the Witch Doctor, he once told her that there was a magical place made entirely out of Jelly, past Neopia, yeah right thought Kitthie, she also saw Mumbo’s Kitchen on her way. She continued down the coast past the Tiki Tack Man’s tombola stall, he felt sorry for her after he saw how upset she looked and it wasn’t because she didn’t get a number ending with a 0, 2 or 5 from his tombola game. He then offered her some coloured sand, this cheered Kitthie up a bit. She then continued past the volley ball courts, Cheikz’s favourite place in the whole of Neopia, past the Tiki Tack and into The Harbour. The Island committee saw that Kitthie wasn’t feeling her usual self so they decided not to disrupt her. Kitthie boarded the first boat out she found, it was headed for Krawk Island.

 

Kitthie didn’t like this place, she was scared of pirates, she had never been here on her own so wanted to dispatch herself from it as soon as possible. As soon as the boat pulled in at the Food Club, Kitthie frantically strode to the nearest boat heading north or west but something on the horizon cut her eye. On a little island south-east of Krawk Island, Kitthie noticed a man on his knees begging, she couldn’t make him out but he seemed to have black balding hair. He seemed to be begging to a medium heighted man wearing a lot of jewellery.

“Boat to Kiko Lake!” A boat conductor called.

That was her ride; Kitthie thought, then she retracted her attention from the scene and headed for the boat.

 

Through the Kiko Forest, Kitthie made her way into Neopia Central then towards her house. Kitthie was now on her street when she noticed a rather upsetting view, Robert Briggs, the local bully, and his mates. What where they doing in front of Mrs Timrod’s house, Kitthie wondered. She decided to find out and crossed over the tarmac road to the smooth cement pavement on the left.

“That would be so cool!” Shane Herkins, Robert’s right-hand man stated.

“It’s worth about… one million Neopoints! “Wes Kindler, the not so smart one of the group expressed.

Kitthie began to wonder what they were talking about.

“You’re both right, if I can get my hand on that Mummified Vase, we’ll be wealthy Neopians,” addressed Robert to his cronies, he then rapidly turned his head to the girl walking incredibly slowly past them.

Kitthie knew this was her cue to leave, so she swiftly walked home.

 

Those boys are planning on stealing Mrs Timrod’s Vase. She is a collector of rare and expensive items, and this vase was one she always went on about. ‘Coltzan himself gave me this vase, but as a ghost of course’, was all she went on about. Kitthie had to inform her siblings of this before Robert’s plan went into action.

 

“So what you’re trying to say is that Robert Briggs plans on stealing Victoria Timrod’s Mummified Vase?” asked Croy as she paced up and down the orange carpet of her bedroom trying to clarify what her sister told her.

“It’s Mrs Timrod,” stated Kitthie putting her hands up while struggling to sit on her sister’s hard basic yellow bed, “It’s what she likes those who aren’t close to her to refer to her as. And yes! I heard it all on my way home, maybe if you guys came along with me…”

Cheikz, who was spinning round on a rolling chair, cut her off, “We’ve got to alert the Defenders of Neopia right away then, so they can sort Robert out,” he suggested as he continued spinning round and round.

“Alright then, I’ll go alert the Defenders of Neopia right away,” was Croy’s response as she headed down the stairs to alert them on their alert system.

Her siblings followed after her with a dizzy Cheikz swaying form side to side, as they headed down the fluffy carpet lined staircase, Cheikz lost balance and tumbled first upon Kitthie who was closer to him, then they both hit Croy who was on the bottom step of the stairs.

“Cheikz!” His sisters cried out with a slight tone of pain.

“You seriously need to be more careful young man,” Croy instructed, picking herself up from the floor while dusting ruffle off her clothes. With their parents out, Croy, who is the oldest, was left in charge of the house and in charge of her younger brother and sister.

“Oh just lighten up Croy,” replied Cheikz rolling his forehead at the bottom of his palm trying to relive himself from the headache he got from spinning so much.

“No she’s right Cheikz, you should behave better,” Kitthie said in her opinion.

“Oh what do you know?” Cheikz snapped back.

 

Croy was getting tired of all this bickering and ordered her siblings to stop it. She then walked up to the funky lime table, placed against the wall under a large plain window dressed with speckled curtains, which held a bold blue flat box like item with a shiny red button placed on top in the middle of the surface. This was the device used to instantly contact the Defenders of Neopia’s neomail help service at their Headquarters in Neopia Central. They are quite close with the Bluer kids; they see them as bright kids who help solve cases in Neopia Central. The kids can only stick to that area as their parents say that they aren’t allowed to go anywhere else; apart from school journeys, for the time being.

 

Croy lifted her finger to push the bright red button when, tee toop, tee toop. She was interrupted by the sound of the Defenders of Neopia.

 

This is a work of Bluerang1 © I think I have to add this:

"Copyright 2000-2009 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission"

 

EDIT: I've edited it. Thank you Masaryk.

[Masaryk]

Overall, your story, so far, is very good. I really like it. It's very well arranged. It's extremely good at holding the reader's attention. And you picked a very suspenseful place to end this chapter.

 

I like your prominent use of Neopian themes. It really adds to the descriptions. In general, the descriptions are quite vivid. I don't have any trouble watching your story play out in my head.

 

I would suggest you get someone to proof-read it for spelling and grammar. Most of it is really good, but there are a few errors. I'm impressed by your proper use of semicolons.

 

Keep it up! I think your definitely have NT material here!

[tempdisplay]

Thanks, the semi-colons are thanks to Word Grammar thing :) I really do appreciatte your comment and I'll be sure to proof-read right way :yes:

[Masaryk]

No problem. If you want some help with editing, just ask. :)

[antiaircraft]

:O A fellow detective writer! With two TDNers dropping investigators on the scene, no criminal in Neopia will be safe! :P

 

I love the way you've scattered subtle gags throughout the story. :yes: It keeps a light atmosphere and smooths the reading process (and makes me want to read it again to make sure I didn't miss anything xD ). Your descriptions are well placed and worded, and give the story a great sense of depth.

 

In short, your writing pwns! ;)

[tempdisplay]

Thank you AA, now for the tasks of adding those Neopian gags throughtout the story... writing takes time :S

 

Here's part 2, I just realised that I didn't have to do 6 parts so I think I might only be doing 4 or 5 phew. That means less time thinking of writing limit fillers.

 

Part 2 - The Scene

 

“What’s going on?” Cheikz asked starting to act sensible.

Croy looked worried then gave a reassured look to her siblings. She gently pulled open the speckled curtains too see lights at the right end of their street.

“Could that be Mrs Timrod’s house? Do you think Robert has already commenced with his plan?” A worried Kitthie asked her sister.

“I don’t know,” started Croy, “you and Cheikz should go check out the scene while I’ll try to get some information from the Defenders of Neopia service.

 

Kitthie grabbed her purple woolly jumper from the coat cupboard while Cheikz had to get his blue polyester hoodie from his room upstairs. The two headed out the house into the wet, cool windy evening, then up the road to where the Defenders of Neopia were.

 

Back in the house Croy was waiting for a response from the Defenders.

“Hello there, how may we help you?” A touch screen came up with a message written in red font at the top of it. There was also a keyboard where you could type out requests.

Croy replied, “Hi, its Croy Bluer here, I would just like to inform you guys that Robert Briggs is planning on stealing a Mummified Vase from Mrs Timrod’s house.” She then tapped send to send put the mail through.

“Oh, Croy Bluer! How lovely to hear from you. You must go to Mrs Timrod’s house right away to investigate a theft.”

Croy felt that whoever it was that was at the service desk didn’t listen to what she said nonetheless, she was happy that the person provided her with information of a new case for the kids to solve. “Thank you, we’ll head out right away,” Croy replied. The conversation ended then Croy grabbed her school girl jumper and her sleuthing backpack then headed out.

 

Splish, splosh, was what Croy heared underneath the tee tooping of the Defenders of Neopia. She kept stepping in puddles made by the twenty minutes of rain that occurred an hour ago in the north-east of Neopia. She walked hastily along the pavement as it was getting quite chilly outside, it must be coming from Terror Mountain she thought. As she approached the house, she noticed her siblings who were still standing outside glaring in awe at the scene.

 

Mrs Timrod’s house was not like the other houses around her, it stood out like a sore thumb. The other houses on the street were a pale blue with a darker shade of blue roofing. They had plain arched windows on each side of their brown arched double door doors with a plain circular window above their doors. There were also circular windows on the sides of the houses, the windows and doors all had blue frames. Mrs Timrod’s house was laid out like the others however, the colour was totally different. It had a golden yellow paint job which totally contrasted with the other houses around her, her windows and door had bright red frames. Her roof was a bold red with her door being the only colour her house had in common with the rest, blue. She had a front yard with beautiful Perfume Mallows and a garden with all the Neopian plants you could imagine. Meanwhile all the other houses around her only had plain green lawn front and back yards.

 

That was what her house usually looked like, but now underneath the midnight blue evening sky, it blended in perfectly its surrounding houses. Well, except from the flashing red lights surrounding it. Defenders here, Defenders there, Defenders all about, it made the kids wonder if this case would be too serious for them to handle. Why would there be so many Defenders of Neopia here just to investigate a theft that the kids probably knew the solution too? Croy thought it was about time to find out.

 

“Come on you guys, lets head inside,” She said slightly startling her sibling as she walked past them towards the house.

Kitthie and Cheikz gave each other a ‘what’s going on here look’ then followed their sister into the field of Defenders.

“What do you kids want?” Ask a tall man with a deep voice.

The Bluer kids looked up to see a dark concerned face staring back at them. Croy replied, “Hey there, we’re the Bluer child detectives and we just want to see if we can help with this case. You see we have vital information that could help solve the case,” she gave the man a big grin.

The Defender thought for a second, then replied, “I’m not sure I can let you youngsters in, you see this seems to be a very though case,” the Defender noticed the worried look on the kids face when he said that prompting him to change his mind, but then their expression changed into that of determination. “Well, you have helped us quite a lot in the past so I guess you could go in,” he stepped aside for the kids to enter.

“Thank you!” Was their grateful reply and they dashed into the house, not because they were enthusiastic to solve the case but because they wanted to escape the freezing cold of the night into the comforting warmth of the house indoors.

“Be careful,” called the Defender, after the children.

 

What could they see inside the house? Something dramatic? Horrific? The whole place filled with people rushing about. No. What they saw was something extremely worrying. Mrs Timrod was crying into a fuzzy white hand towel. There wasn’t a big scene, nothing threatening was occurring so why on Neopia where there so many Defenders outside.

 

The kids stepped in looking around the house then spotted an empty glass showcase with a lady examining it. That must be where the vase was stored they thought and stepped closer to it to see who the lady was.

She turned round and happily spoke to the kids, “Croy, Kitthie, Cheikz, you’re here. How wonderful it is to see you, with you here this case would be solved faster than I’d hoped,” with that she walked away.

That was odd, and quick they thought. The lady was Detective Zaara, a co-worker and friend of their parents. She was one of the detectives that supported the kids work and she was a very friendly and helpful person. This made the case easier for the kids as they wouldn’t be closely watched by a detective who saw them as meddling kids.

 

The room was lighted by domed ceiling lamps making the whole room have an incandescent orange glow. The walls were of a cream yellow, smooth and flawless to touch. Around the living room were shelves and cabinets with had various items inside and above them. The rarest items you could find in Neopia where all displayed in that room, expensive plushies; rare jewellery, special Paint Brushes and all sorts of fancy items. They were stepping on a soft velvet carpet which spread across the whole house; it also had a diamond pattern across it. There were flower patterned beige antic sofas on each side of the room; Mrs Timrod was sitting on the sofa on the right. Between the sofas was a clear glass table with a Rainbow anthurium as its centrepiece. The room was absolutely glorious, except for the odd Defender of Neopia here and there, and it made you feel as if you were in some sort of fancy item gallery.

 

The kids first proceeded with their standard procedure before beginning to solve a case, reassure the victim.

“We’re terribly sorry for you loss Mrs Timrod, but we assure you that we will do all we can to help you retrieve your stolen item,” Kitthie finished that with a smile.

They usually got, a thank you or fake smile in return but this time all they got was a watery cold stare saying ‘what could little kids do to help anyone anyway’, the kids then moved away from her. Something, or should I say someone caught Kitthie’s eye, it was a man talking to another man. She had recognised this person before, he had black balding hair, he was medium in size, a big belly, and then it hit her.

“That’s David Timrod,” she whispered to her siblings pointing at the shorter man in the conversation. “He’s Mrs Timrod’s pride and joy.”

“Him?” started Cheikz, “he doesn’t seem so special.”

“Yeah I know, but he inherits all this stuff she owns so maybe that’s why he’s so special to her, or her items.”

“What are they talking about?” asked Croy, her siblings turned to her wondering why she asked that. “Shouldn’t he comforting his mum right her now?” Croy continued getting a puzzled look.

There was a silent pause of thought after a while Cheikz decided to break it, “Yeah, you’d think he would but I guess he isn’t. So why are we standing here like the statues in the Hall of Heroes, let’s go find out,” he began walking towards the conversation when his oldest sister stopped him.

“Wait, hold it. I’ll find out for myself. Kitthie, Cheikz,” she started, turning to her siblings, “it’s time we break out and search for clues.”

 

This is a work of Bluerang1 © I think I have to add this:

"Copyright 2000-2009 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission"

[antiaircraft]

All right! Move, move, move! I love those spring-into-action moments! xD

 

And I can see you're already introducing suspects to the scene... this is getting intriguing.

[Masaryk]

It looks really good so far. I just want to keep reading! The mounting suspense is AWESOME!

[tempdisplay]

hehehe. I do love to add suspence. I guess I did learn stuff from english, thank you Ms Knight.

 

Here's Part 3 people, I did this one quite quickly :D This mean I could start working on Part 4 today :yes:

 

Part 3 - Croy's Clues

 

Cheikz gave a mighty big yawn, his mouth expanded so wide you could fit Turmy in it. Then it relapsed slowly to the aftermath mouth-kiss of a yawn.

“I think Cheikz is getting tired,” Kitthie informed her sister, who was peering keenly at the conversation opposite them.

“What?” started Croy who wasn’t concentrating on what her sister had said, “Cheikz is getting tired?” she tried to confirm.

“Yeah, he is.” Kitthie began looking at her younger brother whose body frame was hung and his top eyelids were falling to meet his bottom eyelids. “I think it’s time we head home and continue the case tomorrow.”

“No, no, I mean you take him home, but I need to stay here and see what that conversation is about,” she hand gestured her siblings to go leave.

Kitthie grabbed Cheikz' hand then began heading out the door, “Alright then, see you when you get home.” She waved goodbye to her sister, who didn’t wave back as she was still concentrating on the discussion.

 

Slow step by slow step Croy began making her way to the chat, which seemed quite important as David Timrod seemed to be urging the other man for something. Croy saw her size six orange shoes making muddy footprints on the velvet flooring, and she looked at the floor around her. Mrs Timrod won’t be happy with this, she thought. Numerous styles of footprints were everywhere, made from her, her siblings, Detective Zaara, some Defenders, David, and the other man. This would be hard to clean up. Then it hit her - FOOTPRINTS! How long ago did the theft occur? She wondered, as if it was during or after the shower, the thief’s footprint would certainly be among the many footprints badly decorating the carpet.

 

Croy was now stuck in a predicament, examine the footprints or examine the conversation. She went for the conversation, as she thought it could end soon, so she needed to get to it as soon as possible. She picked up her pace.

 

The shorter man had black balding hair sat above a round slightly chubby face with a round button nose, round ears, slim green eyes and wide pale pink lips. A big belly tried to escape the buttons of a red chequered cotton shirt, with its long sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Heavy blue jeans and flat black shoes with grass stains finished off David Timrod’s laidback look. The slimmer man had chocolate brown combed back hair with a little front fringe grew out of a pentagonal face. Thick black eyebrows placed above big amber brown eyes, a slim nose and slim lips, with pointy, big ears completed the face. A lilac shirt and a tie, with black and green diagonal strips, were underneath a sharp teal suit jacket with a slim line sharp creased trouser to match. A pair of shiny all black polished sinister Neovian shoes covered the feet. There was also a tag, with a Neohome symbol with writing which Croy couldn’t make out next to it the symbol, on the upper left of the suit. The other man in the conversation must work for the Neohome Agency, she thought.

 

Croy moved closer to the conversation, to where she could hear it. Since they were near a cabinet with all sorts of items, Croy went over to it, pretending to admire the items, while secretly listening in on the conversation.

 

“But why can’t you guys pay off my mum? It’s not fair!” David was angrily asking the Neohome Man.

 

“I am terribly sorry but there is nothing we at the Neohome Company or The Neopia Team,” he sighed, “of Justice, can do to help you,” the Neohome Man replied, backing away while starting to look really annoyed.

 

David thought for a second. “You should be able to offer us some Neopoints for our loss, please. Why can’t you do this? Why?” David asked desperately.

 

“It is possible for the Defenders of Neopia to find the thief, and you will have your vase back. That would be alright,” he replied.

 

David seemed to really want justice to be served for the theft. “What about our insurance?”

 

“There is no insurance available in the new Neohome estates in which this house currently resides. Again, I am sorry for your loss.” And, with that, the Neohome Man, who currently looked tired and extremely stressed, walked out in frustration, bringing a cold air into briefly into the house.

 

David hung his head in disappointed and followed the man out the house, which filled the room with another brief surge of cool air that Croy didn’t like; however it seems they went in different directions so the conversation must have ended now.

 

Wow, thought Croy. He must have truly cared about his mother more than she thought; he really wanted justice to be served for her so she could be happy again. Then again, she began thinking, how come he just walked out of the house? Leaving his mother in the arms of Detective Zaara? Was this way more complicated than Croy thought? Must be family issues, she laughed to herself. She probably shuns him while he tries to impress her. Maybe, under all the flash and flair of her items and shiny house, were deep family problems. Croy began thinking she was starting to sound like a family psychiatrist and decided to turn her attention to the footprints.

 

How many different footprints could she see? About seven? No nine! No… She kept wondering how many she had to record. There were footprints of female shoes with heels, some of female shoes without heels. Footprints of smart male shoes, some of sandals, sport shoes and even slippers in this time of day. Didn’t they know what the weather was like outside, she thought? But she later realised that the slippers were those of Mrs Timrod. It was hard to tell which footprint belonged to whom, as they were all mix-matched, as numerous people had walked in, and all of the footprints had crossed with each other. And, also, some were damaged by others’ feet.

 

Croy walked to the door and decided to start from there. She got out a roll of foil and began crawling on the messy carpet moulding the foil to the different footsteps that imprinted themselves on the carpet. She had recorded about five now, putting the footprint-shaped foil pieces in a see-through plastic wallet. She then found herself at the scene of the missing vase.

 

There were three different footprints situated right next to the empty display. While others were slightly further away, which were probably those of bystanders who were just looking at the scene out off curiosity, as Croy found her own and her siblings’ footsteps there, she believed.

 

“These could be crucial clues,” she whispered to herself, as she moulded the foil into their shapes, putting them in plastic wallets, but this time labelled them ‘C Left’, ‘C Middle’, and ‘C Right’. The ‘C’ stood for crucial and the positions were where around the display she found the footsteps. “One of these could belong to the thief,” she continued, while the others probably belonged to Detective Zaara and a chief Defender of Neopia, maybe? She questioned, in her head this time, trying to reassure herself.

 

She thought to herself, why don't the Detectives in Neopia searching for clues first? They always start with the easy job of questioning victims? No wonder the kids solved cases they were involved in before the Detectives. She continued her scouring of Mrs Timrod’s living room ground reluctantly, as she thought she had all she needed in those three footprints near the place were the Mummified Vase was stolen.

 

She paused for a while, rising up to sit on her knees, to examine the footprints again. She looked closely at all of them; then, she noticed a difference - grass! The footprint in the wallet entitled ‘C Right’ had a little blade of grass embedded in it. Croy looked at this confused. She then tilted her head up to look around the room. In between the moving legs of Defenders, Croy examined the footprints around her; none seemed to have grass stains. She looked closer, remembering when she wished she had keen eyesight like her friend Insert Here, to see the odd footprint with a little piece of grass here and there. She got up to walk to each one and realised that they were all the same shape.

 

“This is interesting,” she pointed out, again to herself, and recorded her findings on a notepad afterwards.

 

She continued scanning for the grassy footprints when she found a trail that lead out of the living room into another room. She followed these footprints wondering where they lead to and, at the end of the trail, was dark room, where all she could make out were the pink and purple tiles, where some light from the living room reached them. She was about to make her way into the room to search for a light switch to lighten it when she was stopped by a firm, but soft, hand.

 

“Croy, we’re all calling it a day now, so it’s time for you to return home,” said the person.

 

Croy looked up to see Detective Zaara’s face smiling down at her. Croy nodded while smiling back and replied, “Okay, I’ll be heading out now.” Croy was disappointed that she didn’t get to enter this room, but realised Detective Zaara was right, as she began feeling herself get tired.

 

Croy walked back into the living room, said goodbye to Mrs Timrod, who was still a fountain of tears, and headed to the door. Her hand trembled as she tried to reach for the door knob which was freezing cold due the fact that it was metal and conducted energy. Croy wasn’t good with the cold and was dreading the weather outside. She opened the door and braced herself for the bitter cold. Why did Neopia Central have to be so close to Terror Mountain? Why was it always so cold at night, even in the summer? Why did the cold wind always blow south-east? Why didn’t she wrap up warmer? Well that was because she didn’t know she would be out so late was her answer to herself.

 

All those questions kept going on in her head as the swiftly strutted home. She released a loud sneeze then gulped after. She realised she had come down with an illness in the cold. She then raced home where she collapsed on her bed, wondering if she could carry on with the case tomorrow.

 

This is a work of Bluerang1 © I think I have to add this:

"Copyright 2000-2009 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission"

[Masaryk]

Excellent!! Keep it coming! I can't wait for the next part.

 

(Keep an eye on your grammar, though. ;))

[tempdisplay]

Here's a quick picture to go with the series, I hope I can get the Neopian Times to use this picture because a picture upload tool isn't available on the submiton form but it is however for the comic form.

 

I have edited all the parts as I changed a few bits while looking over at them. Part 3 has been perfectalised thanks to the great Masaryk_the_Mad who took his time to look over my work and even helped fix it :thumbsup:

 

Part 4 - Cheikz's Clues

 

Her neck was aching; it always hurt when she tried to turn her head on her soft orange pillow. Croy had been down with D’Achoo since last night, although all that was going through her mind right now was the case. How could they go and investigate now with her weak and sneezing all day?

“Kitthie, Cheikz,” she tried to call with a hoarse scratchy voice. She struggled to open her eye with were tight shut with heavy crust to see to big brown eyes staring back at her.

“Are you feeling better?” asked the darker eye, it was Kitthie.

“No, I’ve got a headache and keep sneezing and…”

“Shush,” interrupted Cheikz putting his index finger on his sister’s lips to tell her to be quite. “We’ve got you some Neopkins, use them whenever you sneeze instead of those regular tissues, these have a special healing thing. Or at least that’s what Kitthie say,” he said squeezing is face to the right in the thought of the full truthfulness of that statement.

Kitthie gave her brother a persuasive smile and continued, “Yes, they do, so you use them and make yourself feel better. There are lots of Chia Cereals in the kitchen downstairs so you just help yourself whenever you’re hungry and we’ll be off,” she finished that with are smile at her confused sister.

“What? Where are you going?” asked Croy looking left then right to the smiling faces.

“Oh we’re going back to Mrs Timrod’s house to search for more clues,” said Cheikz.

“No you can’t go, alone, without me, who will take care of me?”

“We’re sure you’ll be fine,” Kitthie started then kissed her sister on the forehead, then grabbed her brother and headed out of their sister’s room, “take care now.”

 

“Wait!” She yelled with all the little power she had, although it hurt she thought it was necessary to tell her siblings what she wanted to.

They turned back and moved closer to their sister’s side to hear what she had to say. “What is it?” asked Kitthie with a concerned face.

“In Mrs Timrod’s house,” she began gulping, “there’s a room with pink and purple tiles. Search for clues there.”

“Alright, we will,” said Cheikz who then walked out of the room followed by Kitthie who gave Croy a final reassuring smile.

Croy lifted herself up from her tangled bed covers and reached out her hand to call after them, “No wait, guys, come back.” She felt her voice trail into emptiness as she heard her siblings’ footsteps race down the stairs; out of the house with a loud door slam. They had now left her all alone in the house to rest and were off to investigate for the first time without her.

 

The rain had now dried up and the weather was peaceful. Laughing away the brother and sister happily skipped down the lane on the lovely Saturday morning. White Weewoos were singing, a cool comforting wind blowing; the morning sun warming. This was what summer Neopia Central mornings were like and the kids saw this as a great start to the day.

“Do you think Croy will be happy with us?” asked Kitthie, starting to slow down to speak with her brother.

“I don’t know, but you’re right, we do have to go investigate today to find some clues,” replied an enthusiastic Cheikz.

They continued walking when Kitthie remembered something, “You know Croy said we should check out a room in Mrs Timrod’s house with pink and purple tiles,” she informed trying to create conversation.

“Yeah I remember, I’ll check that out.”

“Alright,” Kitthie replied.

 

The pair walked for a minute more, then arrived at the bright house. There were already a few Defenders of Neopia there and the kids thought that Detective Zaara would already be in the house. The kids walked up to the house and were stopped gain by a Defender. They explained who they were and what they were there to do and were happily let into the house. The pair looked at each other, nodded and headed in to investigate a case for the first time without the guidance of their older sister.

 

The room was the same as before except for little changes. There were less Defenders off Neopia standing around the room aimlessly. Mrs Timrod was now sitting on the sofa on the left; wasn’t pouring out tears anymore but now seemed stern and aggravated.

“Best not disturb her,” Cheikz suggested with his sister nodding back as her response.

They then spotted Detective Zaara, still in the same long green overcoat she was in yesterday with a hat to match, examining the area the vase was taken from. She looked up from her notepad turned round then waved at the kids beckoning them to come over. The kids realised this when Zaara began walking to them so they strolled to her with both parties meeting in the middle of the living room

 

“I’ve got some vital news to tell you,” Zaara began crouching down to the kids who were listening in intensively. “The house wasn’t broken into.”

“It wasn’t?” Kitthie confusingly asked.

“No, it wasn’t. I’ve checked all the doors in the house to see if this is through and they all seem fine.”

“Weird,” started Kitthie, “how could he have gotten in then?”

“Who?” asked Zaara, looking interested in what she had to say.

“Rob...”

Cheikz interrupted her, speaking up for the first time in the conversation, “The tiles,” he began pointing towards a room on the north-east of the living room, “Over there. I’ve got to go.” Then he rushed off to the room he was pointing at leaving Kitthie and Zaara bemused.

 

Through a red framed rectangular arch Cheikz saw a, in his opinion, girly room. Its ceiling was painted pale pink, its walls violet; it had a door at the other end with windows in which through it what you saw was a field of flowers. Daylight came through the window on the left wall of the room and unlike Croy, Cheikz could see that this wasn’t a bedroom, it was the kitchen. Who knew Mrs Timrod had this kind of taste, he thought to himself, I thought she’d be a bit more sophisticated, he continued. He stepped in fully into the very bubblegum themed kitchen and wondered where to start first.

 

It seemed that Cheikz was listening to what Detective Zaara was saying but not completely, as he heard her say that the house wasn’t broken in to but he didn’t hear her say that she’d already examined the doors. He headed to the door which was right opposite him avoiding the middle worktop which was in their way. As he approached the arched unpainted but vanished wooden door which stood out from its surroundings he noticed something very shiny. It was the door lock.

 

Cheikz remembered this; Mrs Timrod only had it fixed in about two weeks ago. He remembered walking through the Neocash Mall admiring at items he couldn’t afford, or be bothered to waste heaps of money on, when he spotted Mrs Timrod with a group of friends. She must be a regular in this mall he thought looking at her describing something to a group of about four female friends around her. He wondered what they were talking about and walked over to them to find out that she was telling of a door lock she had just purchased which was pure silver. Her friends were gawking in amazement with a hint of envy but this bored Cheikz and he walked away.

 

Cheikz examined this lock carefully, it seemed perfectly fine. He opened the door to see what the lock looked like on the outside but nothing was different. Cheikz found this odd because he wondered how Robert would have used the lock picker he had, which he said to have used to break into numerous Marketplace shops, without scratching the fine surface of the door lock. Cheikz looked at the lock even closer, nothing, no scratches, no dents, there was no rust meaning Mrs Timrod was right about it being all silver. Cheikz was baffled, how else would Robert get in? He questioned, unless he had a key for the lock. He must have stolen it.

“I’ve got to ask Mrs Timrod if she was robbed to be sure,” he suggested but as he was about to shut the door and return to the living room something caught his eye.

 

The magnificent garden filled with all the plants of Neopia you could imagine, Rubber plant, Snap draik, Cineraria, Axe shrub, they were all in that garden. Now they were ruin. A muddy foot trail embedded itself in the garden damaging some plants which were flattened by the thief’s feet. Mrs Timrod won’t be happy with this, was Cheikz first thought at the sight of the injured garden. However another thought hit him.

“This must be the path the thief took to get in or and out the house,” he pointed out.

 

Then he decided to go into the colourful garden following the footstep path. The printed footsteps on the still muddy earth all had a plain plane look which meant it was easy for Cheikz to remember them, although he still wished he had Croy’s sleuth backpack to record them with foil. He continued to follow the steps looking down at them as he walked through the field of foliage, then bump.

 

Cheikz hit his head on something wooden. He slowly looked up to realise that he was at the end of the garden as he was looking up-close at a timber wall. It was the seven foot fence that ended the garden; it was finely polished and had slight spiky heads. The fence stretched out all around the garden with the back walls of the house completing the garden’s perfect square shape.

 

“Looks like the end of the road,” said Cheikz but he didn’t want to turn back.

The fence was too high for him as he wanted to look over to see where the rest of the trail went. Robert must have had the help of his goons he thought and that must be how he got over the fence to get into the house. On the other hand, how did he get into the house? All these were going on in his head previous to wondering how the conversation between his sister and Detective Zaara had continued.

 

This is a work of Bluerang1 © I think I have to add this:

"Copyright 2000-2009 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission"

[Xepha]

 I still need to read your story. I'm sure it's fantastic though Keep it up!

[tempdisplay]

Thank V :D

 

Here's Part 5!!! I knew what to do but I didn't have enough words, that's why I added the descriptions of Kitthie's friends. This is part is Kind of ironic as Kitthie is by favourite pet ^_^ Last part of the series tomorrow. Have you already solved the case already?

 

Part 5 - Kitthie

 

“Where did he run off to?” Zaara asked.

“You see our sister said we should investigate a room in the house with pink and purple tiles. I guess that’s what he went off to do,” was Kitthie’s quick reply.

“Oh, I see,” she began, “What was it you were telling me earlier?” she asked changing the subject.

“Ah yes, Robert Briggs.”

“What about him?” asked Detective Zaara, who’s faced seemed desperate for an answer.

“He’s the one who stole the vase,” Kitthie said be a confident smile.

“Who? How? What do you mean?” Zaara asked now looking terribly confused.

“You see, yesterday I overheard Robert and his friend, Shane Herkins and Wes Kindler. He said he was going to steal the Mummified Vase and when he did he would be a wealthy Neopian,” Kitthie explain.

“I see,” Zaara started nodding emptily, “but how would he have gotten in?”

“He has this lock picker, bragged about it for ages. I think he would have used that,” answered Kitthie.

“All right,” was Zaara’s answer then she turned back to her notepad.

 

That was the conversation Cheikz missed out on although to Kitthie it seemed rather pointless. Kitthie felt the same way she always felt, ignored. She obviously told Zaara about Robert and his friends but she didn’t do anything afterwards. Shouldn’t she have contacted the Defenders of Neopia to get Robert and question him about stealing the vase? She just turned back to her notes, ignoring everything Kitthie had said. Very upset, Kitthie turned away and began thinking.

 

She thought about different things, but the things that stood out were those of people ignoring her. Her family, friends, even strangers all ignored her opinions often and it hurt. All she ever tried to do was help out and inform people of things, what was it with her that she was never acknowledged? While she was thinking, she was walking, walking aimlessly in Mrs Timrod’s house.

 

She thought of her parents, how they treated Croy and Cheikz better than they treated her. When they got presents, Kitthie would either get the worst one or get her item last and her parents would spend more time giving it to her siblings than her. Speaking of time, they hardly spent any with her. When last did they help her out with homework or just spoke with her about stuff? She asked herself, her eyes beginning to water. Croy was the oldest and Cheikz was the baby of the family, they always said, how about her, she had no special role in the family. She was even the second daughter, not first daughter or even first son, second. Is there really something like the “Second Child” syndrome? She asked herself.

 

Kitthie then remembered the night their parents left for Kreludor, to solve the case of the Mining Corp rumbles. Two figures were standing at the door against the night. The slightly taller slim figure was her mum, beautiful she was, although from what Kitthie remembered it was hard to se their mum’s beauty in her attire. Like Detective Zaara, Mrs Bluer was in a long overcoat, hers was dark purple however, with a hat to match. Underneath her coat, Kitthie remembered her mum wearing a yellow shirt and slim black denims. She wore slim leather black gloves and leather black boots to match. The boots had a big heel making her look taller than their father. Mr Bluer wore pretty much the same thing as his wife in the overcoat and hat, although they were beige. Under that layer was a turquoise shirt and black trouser. He also wore black gloves and black flat shoes. Their father had a roundish face like Cheikz with big blue eyes, a regular nose, round ears, slim lips and a growing beard. Their mother graced a pentagonal face with slim brown eyes, pointy nose, pointy ears, full lips and white blonde hair like Croy, she’s gorgeous thought Kitten. Kitthie and Cheikz have black hair which they inherited from their father.

 

The parents were saying goodbye to their kids when Kitthie remembered something. She called out “Wait here!” Then she ran off to retrieve an item. She jogged up the stairs into her pinkish room where under her pillow was a picture of the family.

“This way they can see our faces every day,” she remembered saying to herself looking at the happy family in front of her.

She then ran back downstairs to hear a door get shut. Her parents had left. She tried to run out the door to meet them but was stopped by Croy who said she couldn’t go out because it was dark outside. Kitthie didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye, she remembered herself breaking down in tears, on the starry living room carpet, and she felt herself doing the same thing now. It’s been four weeks since their parents had been in Kreludor, although they contacted each other daily via Neomail, Kitthie still hadn’t confronted them about the event and they hadn’t noticed that they didn’t bid farewell to their daughter. She restrained herself from tears and continued down Mrs Timrod’s hallway.

 

She then remembered another less emotional event that had to do with her friends and a stranger. Kitthie, Mira and Tonnie were walking through the busy Neopia Central heading for the food shop to get some burgers. Mira wore a lovely Popstar Dress which she looked great in with Garden Tea shoes. She had pigtails on her cute round head. She was the leader of the trio who always knew what to do when they hung out. Tonnie was Mira’s best friend, who Kitthie thought was the prettiest in the group, and second in command. That day she wore a Sporty Tennis shirt, Silly Pink and Purple Trousers and Comfortable Tennis shoes. She had red hair and a triangular face. Kitthie wore Denim Coveralls over an I Love The Neopian Times t-shirt with plain white shoes.

 

They were stopped by a man, about 5 feet 9 inches, in a casual grey jumper over a white shirt with blue jeans and grey shoes. He asked which way Roo Island was. Mira and Tonnie who were the forward ones of the trio jumped forward and insisted Roo Island was south-east of Neopia Central mistaking it for Kiko Lake. Kitthie tried to correct them saying Roo Island was indeed to the north of Neopia central. However they didn’t listen to her and directed the man south-east. Kitthie tried to stop the man to tell him that he was going the wrong way, however he just turned back, waved to her while saying thank you, and continued walking in the wrong direction. Her friends and even strangers didn’t consider her opinion. Poor man, thought Kitthie, he probably ended up in the wrong place and confused, then again she thought he deserved it for not listening to her. Then again, she thought, it wasn’t his fault she wasn’t assertive enough.

 

Kitthie snapped out of her flashbacks to realise that she was on the second floor of Mrs Timrod’s house. She looked around to see three doors with one of them slightly open. They were all wine doors on a cream wall, Kitthie decided to go into the room with the slightly open door. She slowly opened the door peeking in as she opened to see a very elegant room. On the left of the Fyora purple room was a beautiful twin gold bed with a white veil, beside it was a gold bed stand with a yellow lamp fixated upon it. It had a gold sofa opposite it; in fact, all the glorious furniture was gold. The walls, carpet and ceiling gave the Fyora Purple effect.

 

A cool wind blew though the gold framed windows making the gold long curtains dance. To relieve her gloominess Kitthie decided to get some fresh air into her system. She walked over the puffy carpet, to the windowsill, placing her hand on the frame, she stuck her head out.

“Ah,” she explained; then she noticed that the surface on her left hand was different to that on her right, “hang on.”

Kitthie noticed something beneath her right palm. It was a piece of paper. She picked it up, held it up to her face and began reading the text on it:

 

Dear Victoria,

If you would like your vase back unharmed, I insist you leave 500,000np where you found this letter at 7pm NST. You will also need to be out of the room during this time. After 5 minutes you will see your vase where the Neopoints were.

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

“What,” Kitthie said. She then neatly folded the letter and gently placed it the right pocket of her green trousers. “I’ve got to tell the others,” she said and headed down the stairs.

 

“Kitthie!” Called Cheikz, “There you are,” Kitthie saw her brother waving at her from the living room.

“Hey Cheikz,” she began with a smile, “You know I’ve found something really important,” she said.

“Me too,” replied Cheikz with a grin, “Well a bunch of stuff really,” he continued, now with a big smile.

“Oh cool,” said Kitthie, “Come on, let’s head home. I think we’re done here.”

“Already? Cool, now we can get all our clues together and see what we’ve gathered” and off they went, to meet their sister and get ready to solve the theft.

 

This is a work of Bluerang1 © I think I have to add this:

"Copyright 2000-2009 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission"

[Ruto]

I promise I'll read this when I'm not doing something else, but it looks promising. ;)

 

/favor

[tempdisplay]

Thank you very much Ruto. You can always count on TDNers can't you :laughingsmiley:

 

Anyway, here's the Final Part of the Series, I've submitted it to the Neopian Times so if there's any mistake, I'm sure they'll help me fix it. Thanks Masaryk. I'm going to try to update a Petpage so it will have the whole thing on it like a book sort of thing. Here's what I've done so far if you care :D :http://www.neopets.com/~croy00

 

Part Six - Case Solved

 

“Croy, we’re home!” Cheikz called with his hands cupped around his mouth as Kitthie opened the doors to the house. They saw a happy figure walking down the stairs dragging a yellow blanket along it on their left hand while they were holding a box on their right.

“Hey Croy, you’re feeling better,” said Kitthie smiling at her recovered sister who was getting closer to them.

“Better? I’m ecstatic. This thing,” a hyper Croy began, holding up a box of Neopkins, “works instantly! Absolutely instantly!” She proclaimed.

“Yes, I know that’s why I gave them to you. But they’re not supposed to make you hyper,” said Kitthie out of curiosity.

“Oh I know, I had like, a whole box of Chia Cereal. Anyhow, why are you guys back so early?” asked a giddy Croy turning left then right repeatedly to her younger siblings for an answer.

“Oh we just felt we’d check up on you,” replied Kitthie with a fake smirk.

“Plus, we found loads of clues. Well at least I did,” said Cheikz turning to Kitthie.

Kitthie looked back at her brother with a sarcastic expression.

 

“So what did you guys get?” asked Croy trying to get to the point.

“How about we gather our clues then head over to Hubert’s to grab some grub while solving the case,” Cheikz suggested.

“Not Hubert’s, the Fresh Smoothie shop. I thinks smoothies would do us all some good,” said Croy.

“Err, I don’t think smoothies would do you any good Croy, you’re hyper already,” Kitthie pointed out.

“No, I’m calming down. I’ll go get my clues and we’ll head out to the Smoothie shop,” and off she went back up the stairs to her room.

“I wanted to go to Hubert’s,” a let down Cheikz said.

 

The Bluer kids headed downtown to Neopia Central then to the Bazaar where the Smoothie Store was located. Cheikz noticed Hubert through the windows of Hubert’s Hot Dog and they both waved at each other. Hubert was fund of Cheikz as he was a very regular and loyal costumer. Cheikz felt he was betraying Hubert by going to the store right next to his. The kids ordered a couple of weird flavoured smoothies, sat down at a booth and got down to business.

 

“Guess what I fou…” Kitthie began before she was interrupted.

“Alright I’ll go first,” said Croy, “I found a couple of interesting things, but the most important one is the footprint,” she continue then brought out the grass stained footprint shaped foil piece in a plastic see through wallet.

“We know Robert did it so isn’t this all a tad pointless?” asked Cheikz.

“No, we always need evidence to back up our points. Anyway, I found this footprint very close to the showcase where the vase was kept and afterward I found footprints of the same type leading to the room with pink and purple tiles. Cheikz, here’s where you come in,” Croy finished handing the open floor to Cheikz.

“Huh um,” started Cheikz clearing his throat, “I don’t have any physical clues but I do have good memory, well not as good as Rowelynthecute_11, her memory’s ace, but the first thing I remembered was the kitchen. It was so pink and purple,” he began with hand gestures, “like your room Kitthie,” he continues pointing at his sister who was on the opposite side of him, “but a kitchen!” He exclaimed.

This caught the attention of the man in a green apron, with the phrase ‘Power Shake’, at the counter who gave the kids a firm look.

 

Kitthie smiled back at him, “Cheikz can you tell us the important things you found?” asked Kitthie but saying it more as an order than a question.

“Yeah sure,” he replied, “the door at the back of the kitchen had a silver lock which was unscratched and looked good as new meaning Robert must have somehow got a key for the lock; his lock picker would have scratched the surface of the lock,” he noticed his sisters listening in intensively on what his was saying making him feel big. “Anyway, I opened the door to see that the garden was damaged by a trail of footprints, which looks a lot like that footprint,” he said pointing at Croy shaped foil piece, “that went all the way to the end of the garden meaning that he must have had help to get over the garden fence which was very tall. Way taller than him,” Cheikz finished off.

 

“I see,” started Croy, “this is good, we’re getting somewhere. What did you find?” she asked Kitthie with a smile.

Kitthie, happy it was her turn to speak, although she went last, slowly pulled a folded piece of paper out of her trouser pocket which got tight whenever she sat. “I found this in Mrs Timrod’s room, on her windowsill,” she spread the letter out on the table for her siblings to read.

“That’s odd,” Croy said.

“What’s odd?” asked Kitthie.

“That isn’t Robert’s hand writing,” she replied still looking at the letter curiously.

“How do you know? Oh I forgot, you’re in his class,” Cheikz pointed out.

“Maybe Shane or Wes…no not Wes, he can’t write that well,” assumed Kitthie.

“No. I share a class with Shane also. It is odd, isn’t it? They could have had other help. Is there anything else?” asked Croy who had just said out loud what they were all thinking.

“The conversation with Dav...” started Kitthie, again she got interrupted.

“Alright then,” said Croy, getting up from the tight booth, “let’s head over to Mrs Timrod’s house to tell Detective Zaara what we’ve found,” she closed of the meeting and her siblings followed her out with Kitthie wearing a disappointed smile on her face. Again, she wasn’t heard.

 

When they arrived at the house they saw someone who they didn’t expect to see there. It was Wes looking sad sitting between two Defenders of Neopia on the left sofa with Detective Zaara standing with a notepad and pen in front of them.

“She listened,” whispered Kitthie with a smile.

“Oh hi kids,” greeted Detective Zaara who beckoned the kids to come over, “Wes here is about to crack. His other friends are still strongly insisting that they didn’t steal the vase but in fact that they were somewhere else. Where they were is still being kept a secret but Wes over here will crack any minute now.”

The kids saw the scared boy sweating frantically under the pressure that was put on him.

“Where were you Wes?” asked Croy slightly concerned about the guy.

“I can’t take it!” He cried breaking down on the carpet, “We were at Krawps. There, I said it now let me go home to my mommy,” he said wiping his tears.

“Krawps? You’re not 13, or older, are you?” Zaara asked.

Wes took a second to think before he replied, “No,” he said looking up to Zaara.

“Defenders, take him and his friends to The Neopia Team,” she sighed, “of Justice. They’ll know what to do with them,” she ordered.

The two Defenders of Neopia with Wes picked him up and then began carrying off towards the door. The door was gently opened from outside and two figures stood at the doorway.

 

Wes broke down in hysterics upon seeing Mr and Mrs Timrod at the door.

“Who is he?” asked Mrs Timrod in disgust.

“That’s Wes Kindler, a suspect of the theft,” Detective Zaara replied.

“I’m still a suspect?” asked Wes trying to speak between laughing; other looked at him in alarm as he was laughing so hard.

“What up with you?” asked Croy.

“That’s that pathetic guy who’s always begging the owner of Kwarps for more time to pay his debt,” he replied still laughing. “He’s so sad, begging on the ground and crying and stuff.”

David was starting to look embarrassed, while his mother looked annoyed, “My David doesn’t gamble,” started Mrs Timrod going to have a seat as she was dazzled by the fiasco. “David’s a good boy.”

 

“Begging on the floor,” Kitthie whispered to herself in thought. “What was it you heard Mr Timrod and that other guy talking about?” she asked Croy.

“I think it was something about payment for the vase that was stolen. He really wanted justice to be served for his mum.”

“Croy, I think we’ve solved this case. Start with the explanation.”

“What?”

“Just do it,” ordered Kitthie heading over to Detective Zaara to ask for her notepad.

 

Croy asked for the attention of the people in the room and she got it. “As you may know my siblings and I were working on this case and we now think we’ve solved it,” she began.

“Here, take this,” Kitthie whispered to Mr Timrod, handing him over the notepad and a pen. “Take notes.”

“What? Why?” asked David who was confused by this all.

“Just do it,” she said again.

“Our first clue was footprints, which we believed belonged to the thief and they traced from where the vase was stolen to the garden and over the fence. We also noticed that the lock of the back door where the thief would have come in through was still in good condition and unscratched meaning a lock picker wasn’t used to open the door.”

“My clue,” Cheikz pointed out smiling.

“Thank you Cheikz,” Croy said smiling back at her brother. “This meant that a key for the lock was used meaning the thief must have stole a key from Mrs Timrod.”

“I wasn’t robbed,” informed Mrs Timrod.

“Good,” whispered Kitthie.

“What?” asked David; who was standing next to Kitthie.

“You weren’t robbed?” asked Croy who was now confused. “Then how did Robert get in?”

“Robert didn’t do it!” Wes and Kitthie shouted.

“What?” exclaimed every in the room, including Wes and even the usually mute Defenders of Neopian, wondering what Kitthie was going on about.

 

“On my way home from school yesterday, I noticed a man on the island where the Golden Dubloon is located, with Krawps underneath it. A man was on his knees begging to another man. The man looked like David here,” this brought astonishment to the room. She took the notepad from a frozen David and examined it. She got out the letter and whispered, “Yes. You see, thanks to Wes here,” Wes smiled, “I’ve figured out his motive. David wanted money to pay off his gambling debt so he decided to steal his mother’s vase. A letter here ordering his mum to pay 500K for the return of her vase was left in her room and the handwriting matches that of David’s which I have right here,” Kitthie held up the notepad where David wrote a few notes with the letter. Shock filled the room, and it mostly came from Mrs Timrod. “To conclude, he must have obviously used a key which his mother would probably have given him in case of emergencies, to get into the house through the garden. This ends my theory.”

“The shoes,” Croy pointed to David’s feet, “They match the footprints,” she held them up, “and he had grass stains on his feet yesterday.”

“Boys, take him to our headquarters,” Detective Zaara ordered the Defenders of Neopia.

 

Mrs Timrod was left in total bemusement while Detective Zaara, Croy and Cheikz cheered Kitthie on concerning her intuition. David was still frozen as he was taken away meaning he must have realised he was caught out and had no idea what to do next.

“Why did he do that?” asked Mrs Timrod. “Why would he do that? All this stuff, it’s all for him, when I...”

“Maybe you should have been more interested in him, asked him what was going on in his life,” Kitthie replied. “Maybe he should have talked to you,” she continued but this time frowning as she empathised with how she thought David must have felt.

Mrs Timrod looked at Kitthie, thought for a moment then a little smile crossed her face. “Thank you,” she replied.

Kitthie smiled back.

 

“I think it’s about time you kids head on home,” Zaara suggested, “I’ll wrap things off here.”

They agreed, waved goodbye at Mrs Timrod and Detective Zaara, Croy linked them altogether with her hands over her siblings’ shoulders, and together they slowly walked home. And with that, the case of Victoria’s Vase came to an end.

 

This is a work of Bluerang1 © I think I have to add this:

"Copyright 2000-2009 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission"

[Masaryk]

Excellent story! I think you have some winning material here. I hope it does make it into the Neopian Times. I love the whole gambling debt explaination, both for David and the troublemakers. Absolutely awesome!

[Deepti M.]

Once I'm not lazy, I'll read it, but it looks really good to me. (I skimmed it over) Good luck getting in!

[tempdisplay]

Woot! Page Two! :laughhingsmiley: Thank you all for your comments as it really makes me feel good. Now I won't feel like I wasted my time if it doesn't get published (though I'll keep bugging them :D). Thank you again, especially Masaryk. I like your comments the most beause I though I'll get critism, highly constructive crittism :D

[BlackJaguar]

I've started reading it and I'm just on part 2.. It good so far.. the descriptions are a little long but i guess, it's important to acquire the word limit. keep up the good work *goes back thinking a plot for my second season*

[stephie23]

WOW I LOVE IT!! I think they'll post it for sure. I can't wait for the next piece! :) ( I do agree that some sections are a little long, but theres prob. not much you can do about it if you want to hit that word limit..)

[tempdisplay]

Thank you again for your comments

 

I can't wait for the next piece!

 

Next peice... Err, I'm thinking of doing a short story next, maybe not a detective one though.

[antiaircraft]

:thumbsup:

^ That kinda sums up all I have to say. :P I'm not that much of a critique person.

 

So the theft turned out to be an insurance scam huh? Very creative, that was. :yes:

[Lia Seeya]

Alrighty, let's do this... *clears throat*

 

I like the setting and the overall feel of the story, just because I love them detective stories! :D Aren't they just awesome? *coughs* Anyway, I think this has a good shot of getting into the NT! :D *cheers*

[antiaircraft]

Well if TNT wasn't so unpredictable, I'd say this was certain to get into the NT! :yes:

 

Hmm... the team's parents seem to be very interesting characters. Any chance I could borrow them for the TURBULENCE story a bit? xD I can already think of a story arc.

[tempdisplay]

Well if TNT wasn't so unpredictable, I'd say this was certain to get into the NT! :yes:

 

Hmm... the team's parents seem to be very interesting characters. Any chance I could borrow them for the TURBULENCE story a bit? xD I can already think of a story arc.

 

YES! PLEASE! That's all I want to say.. the 7 words limit is good though so no complaining here. Yeah so please do use them. Trying to think... what pets could be worthy of being my pets parents ^_^ ...hmm... Mother is a Usul and Father is a Gelert :yes: