Common interest

[Naamah D.]

I've been trying to find friends who like the things that I like, but nobody I know outside of the internet understands what I like. I write, study demonology, read manga, I love music (tons of music), Vocaloid, watch cartoons and a little bit of anime, I play video games as well as write and draw my own comic yet people act like I'm not well-rounded.

 

I have nobody to share anything with outside of the internet. I go to a social group for people with my disability and even they don't understand me. Heck, I was trying to talk to somebody (I repeat trying) and told her that nobody understands what I like and don't want to talk about what I like and they said "That's just part of your disability (they mentioned my actual disability, but I'm too ashamed of what I have to say what it is)." and then they told me how they knew someone with my disability and how all this person wanted to talk about is dinosaurs. I have nine different hobbies/interest! I don't talk about just one thing because I am only interested in one thing.

 

Sorry for the rant. This has been a very rough week for me. I just feel so sad and frustrated all the time. I also forgot to add to my interest that I like cold cases and CrunkCore music. Cold cases are sad so I don't really read about them anymore :(

[blowupthesun]

Well, your interests really aren't the average things everyone is into or would know a lot about. I'm not sure if you've looked into other social groups, but going to a group specifically for a disability, you're probably only going to find people who have that in common with you, and not necessarily your other interests.

 

In my city, there are a bunch of gaming stores that have groups and they hold open gaming sessions with a different game each week. If you look for that type of social group instead you might find more people who have that in common. You could also look for comic/manga type drawing classes. In that setting, you could talk about that stuff all you wanted with people who were there for the same reason.

 

I apologize if your disability is something that would make any of that not possible for you, but those are just the suggestions I could think of. You do have something in common with more people around you than you'd think, and that's that a ton of people feel like nobody really gets them. When you're not exactly like everyone else around you, sometimes you just have to settle for friends who will TRY to understand and listen, even if they don't share everything with you, and it sounds like whoever you were talking to is not going to be that person.

[Koralis]

I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds frustrating that you're struggling to connect with people that share your interests. Just please don't give up, like blowupthesun said, you're interests don't sound too common so it's understandable that it's not easy to find people to talk to about them, but once you do I'm sure they will be very fulfilling relationships. I'm sorry I don't have any real advice to offer.

[blender]

I know how you feel :( The majority of my very closest friends, whom now many I have even met with in real life and still see them frequently, I met years ago on the internet, and they have been a bigger support group than many people I meet in real life. I too have interests that many others don't really seem to get into, plus on top of that I have social anxiety about talking to people I don't know. It can be frustrating, I know, but you ARE well rounded, very much so it sounds like to me. I like blowupthesun's suggestion, I did something like that before, joining a group where the other people I knew already had similar interests, and it turned out to be a good experience so maybe you could try that.

Also, I really dislike people like the lady who said to you "oh that's just your disability." That is so rude in my opinion, I'm not sure what yours is but for most things every case is different so to lump everyone together and make a negative connotation about it is just.. ugh it boils me blood haha.

 

I hope you feel better soon and that your week gets a little brighter! Hang in there :)

[beruichi]

Maybe it's a regional thing, because I know quite a lot of people sharing your interests, mainly because those are my interests, too, so it's not too hard to find a kindred spirit where I'm from. :p However, I have met people who do not share those interests, who are quite bewildered when my friends and I do talk about it, so I know how it feels to be judged based on what you like. (My typical reaction to people like those would be a raised eyebrow, a roll of eyes, a shared look with a friend, and silent or loud laughter, depending on the circumstances.)

I don't actively seek out people or place myself in social situations unless I really want to be friends with someone (that's how I met my closest friends) so I guess I'm totally not in any position to give out advice about dealing with people. All I can tell you is you don't have to stand there and take it if you're uncomfortable with the conversation.

I can't seem to picture your situation clearly, though. You told someone you felt like people don't get your interests or don't want to talk to you about them, and she tells you that "it" is simply part of your disability? What does the "it" refer to? That people won't get your interests is part of your disability? So were you annoyed that she said that people not understanding your interests is part of your disability, or by her comparing you to the other person who's interested in dinosaurs? Ah, I'm getting confused. Either way, people like different things, disabled or not, so if the other person doesn't get it, don't feel bad about yourself. It's their loss.

[Naamah D.]

Maybe it's a regional thing, because I know quite a lot of people sharing your interests, mainly because those are my interests, too, so it's not too hard to find a kindred spirit where I'm from. :P However, I have met people who do not share those interests, who are quite bewildered when my friends and I do talk about it, so I know how it feels to be judged based on what you like. (My typical reaction to people like those would be a raised eyebrow, a roll of eyes, a shared look with a friend, and silent or loud laughter, depending on the circumstances.)

 

I don't actively seek out people or place myself in social situations unless I really want to be friends with someone (that's how I met my closest friends) so I guess I'm totally not in any position to give out advice about dealing with people. All I can tell you is you don't have to stand there and take it if you're uncomfortable with the conversation.

 

I can't seem to picture your situation clearly, though. You told someone you felt like people don't get your interests or don't want to talk to you about them, and she tells you that "it" is simply part of your disability? What does the "it" refer to? That people won't get your interests is part of your disability? So were you annoyed that she said that people not understanding your interests is part of your disability, or by her comparing you to the other person who's interested in dinosaurs? Ah, I'm getting confused. Either way, people like different things, disabled or not, so if the other person doesn't get it, don't feel bad about yourself. It's their loss.

 

I agree that it's regional yet my mom wants me to be this wonderful advocate for my disability. She wants me to meet people, but nobody seems to be like me. Also the career I plan on going into all of the people who are in that field are way older than me. Can you imagine being asked these questions and giving out these answers? It would be a recepie for false judgements and social disaster:

 

Person: What are you doing this weekend?

 

Me: Reading the Vampire Academy graphic novel and working on my novel.

 

Person: What is your book about?

 

Me: A half Japanese and half Polish incubus who makes a friend who is a Cambion.

 

Person: Do you get outside in the sunshine?

 

Me: Not really because I'm intolerant to temeptures over 75 degrees.

 

Person: Any plans for this afternoon?

 

Me: I have to comic books to illustrate about aliens and three little creatures. One of the creatures is a mouse with tentacles. I'm also playing Watch Dogs and Metal Gear Solid 5 on my PS4.

 

Person: Did you hear the new Adele song on the radio? Isn't it wonderful?

 

Me: No, but I did get the new CD the Birthday Massacre came out with. I also listened to Megurine Luka for two hours.

 

I hate, hate, hate people who are nosy like that.