Coworker is psycho.

[raelilphil]

I'm a teacher and we teach on 3-person teams. My first year team member doesn't take criticism well, and every time I attempt to talk to him, he posts something snarky and passive aggressive on his social wall. Our grade level chair is documenting his posts in case something serious happens. He has verbally attacked me by text message only, silent and awkward at work. I normally wouldn't care, but now he isn't helping supervise kids and a fight happened 10 feet in front of him. He was staring right at them and didn't move. So now kid safety is an issue. My grade level chair doesn't want the principal to find out. He thinks that if we leave well enough alone, this guy will either quit his contract before Christmas or be forced to shape up. Thoughts?

[Relevance]

You are correct, this guy is a psycho. If he's going to act like that, he shouldn't even be working around children. I don't think this should wait until he maybe quits before Christmas. That's a few months away. Within that few months, if he isn't supervising the kids, something really serious can happen because they'll be so accustomed to the fact that he doesn't give a hoot, you know? And not just that, but the verbal attacks or passive aggressive comments on a wall could become more than that. I think someone of higher authority should say something sooner than later, but that's just my opinion.

[raelilphil]

It's almost more like he doesn't realize that he has to give a hoot. It's seriously creepy. Unfortunately my school has 800 4-6 graders and one principal. We really have to have a huge problem to take something to the principal. Thanks for your thoughts :) I'm at my wits ends here because it's exhausting to watch 75 kids with only 2 real teachers. The other teacher is just as annoyed and frustrated as I am.

[AJ11]

Is there anyone that this guy is close to that you can talk to, he certainly seems to have a problem and it also sounds like he is in the wrong job. its a shame no one can talk to him quietly and see what is going on with him.

 

Im sure it took quite a lot of training for him to get to this point so Im wondering what on earth has gone wrong that he is suddenly acting like this and simply not doing his job anymore.. or was he never doing his job?

 

Personally I think this is a big enough problem to take up to the next level of management because other staff and children may be at risk. If nothing is said to the principal and something bad happens questions will be asked as to why when you knew there was a problem did you not act on it.

 

Im suprised he doesnt have some kind of supervisor or person above him who gives appraisals now and then, that would be an opportunity to find out what is going on with this person, for all anyone knows he could be at risk to himself and others

[siniri]

Your grade level chair doesn't sound like a very good manager. By first year, do you mean this is his first year of teaching? Or that he's teaching first year students? Especially if it's the first (but even if it's not), the manager should be guiding him -- when inappropriate behavior happens, he should take him aside and discuss his choice of actions, suggest what he might have done differently. And strongly warn him that certain behaviors (threatening coworkers/students, verbal abuse, etc.) will not be tolerated, and that any further continuation of such behavior will put his job at risk. Who's going to "force him to shape up," if not his supervisor? Just recording everything without taking any actions to correct the situation only provides evidence for a lawsuit should things escalate.

 

Another option would be his team teachers helping to guide him, but you shouldn't try anymore, since he becomes belligerent with you. (For example, when the fight broke out, after the students were out of the room, you might have asked if that was his first time seeing such a situation, and see how it made him feel. That might have given you an opening to discuss ways that you've found to deal with it without sounding bossy.) Does he react the same way to your second teacher? As a new teacher, he might be feeling insecure and feel that you're criticizing rather than offering constructive feedback, which would make him defensive.

 

So... what can you do, besides going to the principal or waiting for your chair to do his job better? One thing you might try is to ask for a meeting of the team along with the chair to discuss ways that you can work together better, since you don't seem to be gelling as a team. Don't turn the meeting into an attack-fest on him. Give him the opportunity to share his frustrations, too. Acknowledge his concerns -- model how to take criticism (even if his way of giving it is abrasive). See if you can brainstorm ways to make the team work better. My brother collaborated with two different people last year, and one went much more smoothly than the other. He had to share the duties differently with each, because they were just different, and it worked better that way. Towards the end of the meeting, bring up the abusive text message and say that you shouldn't be subject to such abuse in the workplace, and that if such behavior continues, you'll need to lodge a formal complaint.

 

If the team meeting doesn't work, you could write a letter to the principal documenting your main concerns (with specific examples), especially about the abuse, and citing the steps you've already taken to deal with it (discussing with your chair, the team meeting, etc.). Be specific but brief. The principal can then decide if the matter is worth more of their time.

 

Regarding constructive criticism, I've learned that a great technique is to start with a compliment (e.g., "That was a really neat way of explaining X"), then segue into the critique (which should be impersonal, and still focus on the positive as much as possible -- e.g., "I noticed you ran out of time to finish the lesson" -- and offering a potential solution, if relevant -- e.g., "You seemed to get bogged down a little when Billy started asking questions; he's such an inquisitive child that he often tries to steer the class in another direction. I've found that if I offer to talk to him about it after class and get back on track, he'll eventually settle down and continue to follow the lesson"), then repeat the compliment ("Again, great explanation of X. I'd never thought of explaining it that way before"). It can feel really weird at first, but it works wonders. Again, though, if he continues to be abusive, even after trying this method, stop -- it's not worth the risk.

 

I hope some of these ideas help improve the situation (whether by using them, or spring-boarding into ideas of other actions you might take).

[raelilphil]

These are great ideas, they really are. But they would work with someone who is willing to improve. My other partner has tried to talk to him, but he brushes her off and reminds her that even though she has 10 years experience to his 0, he is the one with the M.A.

 

I'm starting to suspect high-functioning autistic. He also had a brain tumor removed 2 years ago, so possibly a side effect of the surgery? Either way, disability allowances aside, this is unacceptable behavior.