Pretty sure my best friend is done being my best friend.

[zeldaluvr3000]

It is the first time this has happened to me, so its a little surreal.

My best friend seems to be irreversibly done with me (hurt, disgusted, upset, etc).

I don't really want to explain why, but we've come across a controversial issue present in our lives that we can not come to an agreement on. Yesterday, she went off on me, and it was very hurtful. I replied the best I could, and told her I would talk to her in a few weeks if I felt I was ready, but then she told me she intended to hurt me with the message so that I wouldn't talk to her again. It might sound like a middle school fight, but we are out of high school. And this is no small issue... I really believe she is ending it. Leaving me.

 

So, goodbye, sister.

[worstpoetryever]

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

As I don't know what this is all about I can't really put myself in the situation, but it does sound like you're through. It seems like an immature way to end something, so the case might be that she's incredibly upset and therefore letting the raging emotions lead, instead of reason. Maybe she'll come around after calming down; if for nothing else to apologize for deliberately hurt your feelings and try to end your relationship in a more civil way. I don't know, I don't know her and I don't know the situation.

 

When something like this arises in a close friendship, it's often about compromising; agreeing to disagree, or completely laying your case down, but you can't always do that. Everyone has different values and everyone has deal breakers, something you can't live with agreeing to or participating in or even being close to. Friendships are important and often worth sacrifices, but at the end of the day you have to stand up for yourself.

 

I hope you can just step away for a while and keep yourself occupied. Losing a friend will always feel awful, but gaining distance and ability to look at the situation objectively is the best you can do. I don't think you can "save" it at this point, but maybe a solution (be it getting back together or just realizing that you're better off like this) will be there when the both of you aren't preoccupied with strong feelings.

[AJ11]

It is the first time this has happened to me, so its a little surreal.

My best friend seems to be irreversibly done with me (hurt, disgusted, upset, etc).

I don't really want to explain why, but we've come across a controversial issue present in our lives that we can not come to an agreement on. Yesterday, she went off on me, and it was very hurtful. I replied the best I could, and told her I would talk to her in a few weeks if I felt I was ready, but then she told me she intended to hurt me with the message so that I wouldn't talk to her again. It might sound like a middle school fight, but we are out of high school. And this is no small issue... I really believe she is ending it. Leaving me.

 

So, goodbye, sister.

Its sad to lose a friend especially when you were obviously very close indeed and I expect you are going to be feeling quite lost for a while.

 

Try not to think badly of her and recognise that if either of you couldnt accept that you were friends above and beyond the issue you had then it is best that you both move on.

 

Do your best not to get into a battle with her, it is easy for that to happen because you are both perhaps feeling anger that the friendship is over and needing to lash out about it. Best friends know you better than most so know how to hurt so avoid going there for your own sake.

 

I wonder if this is someone you are going to have to see regularly at work/social groups or just around? If not it will be easier for you to build a new start

Good luck X

[zeldaluvr3000]

worstpoetryever - It really was an unexpected and immature way to end things. I just wish so hard that she could have told me flat out something like "I am having an extremely hard time accepting this situation because of my past and my opinions, and since I can't pretend it isn't happening, Its best we not talk."

 

That sounds much more like something I would have expected her to say. I feel like she's better than hurting me to scare me away. And because of it I'm still like "Was that real? Is that really a thing she said?"

 

I physically can't compromise any more than I am. All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and not bring up the topic, and her views don't even anger me, but mine do her. She's the only one who can sit down and say "I hate what she's doing, but it isn't my place, and I still want to talk to her. So I will move on." That is IF she ever wants to talk, and I'm not even sure I do after everything that was done and said.

 

AJ11 - Yes, we were so close, which is what makes this the worst. No, she isn't someone I will see in person, we met online probably around 2008. We spoke almost every day through our game's messaging system, as well as skype. We would write essays of messages to each other talking about every single thing possible. She knew every detail of my life, and I knew what I assume to be every detail of hers. I went to her for everything from neopets to my life falling apart to what i had for dinner.

 

No matter what we always find our way back to each other, but this time, I'm really not so sure.

[AJ11]

Perhaps this has come at a time when she is confused about other things or her mind is not as clear as usual, is it possible that she is not quite herself just now for some reason and with time to consider quietly she will be different?

 

Sometimes we react at the time and then look back and wish we had been different but feel that too much has been said to go back and sort it out, its hard to know but its possible that she has reacted strongly and now regrets it but feels she cant back track as she has said too much.

 

I dont think its wise to chase her though, if you have been reasonable and left a way back for her if she reconsiders, then I suggest you leave it for the moment and allow things to calm down and take time for reflection.