Physical beauty or Intellectual beauty?

[Sannah]

For me physical beauty only starts to matter when I find someone genuinely unattractive or ugly. I could not fall for such a person, no matter how nice they might be, because, well, unattractive basically already says that you are the opposite of drawn to these people. It's hard for me even to be friends because of the pity factor. However, I have only known a handful of people whom I consider ugly (seriously). Most people have at least a few things to recommend them, and when they have a certain sparkle that is enough. That sparkle has a lot to do with intelligence.

 

So unless appearance is distracting in a negative way I couldn't care less about it. Intellectual beauty, all the way.

 

(I'm actually quite picky, but physical beauty is not part of my selection procedure - even though I am a model myself. I actually think most people only think they are attracted to someone's appearance when in reality it is much more complicated than that)

[Raichi]

I like many different types of guys, short guys, tall guys, nerdy guys, cool guys, yadda yadda :P I guess I could even fall for girls if they interest me? I never tried dating a girl before, but I did fantasize about it. (though not as much as about boys)

 

The boyfriend I have now is a total sweetheart x3 he's physically not a 10 for me on the attraction scale, but because he's so empathic and kind to me that doesn't matter. Surely I fantasize about dating 10's, but most of the times these are fantasy characters from anime and comic books.

 

I'm not an expert on relationships, in fact he's my first serious one. I can see myself grow old with him, but I can also see myself fall head over heels with someone else. It's very confusing really. When I'm with him I can't imagine us ever parting, and when he's away it seems like something that might happen someday.

 

Is this because I'm not swooning over his appearance? I don't know? I know I find him attractive enough to want his children some day and know they will be the most beautiful children ever! I also know he could go up to swooning level if he'd grow some abs and become more muscular, and go down to sexually unattractive if he gained a lot of weight. I just really can't find fat people sexually attractive.

[rombosulonte]

I actually think most people only think they are attracted to someone's appearance when in reality it is much more complicated than that

 

 

I think you are right. I've found that when I start liking someone or getting along with them, I start to see them as more physically attractive as well. On the other side, I've met very attractive people that, after talking with them, strated looking a little uglier.

[redtopaz]

So many things factor into all that. I mean you can have a relationship with someone because you're infatuated with how they look/style/coolness (which imo is all physical/shallow.

And then you can also overlook someone and then want to talk everyday with them and pick their brain because you find them, the way they think and react, beautiful.
But you MIGHT not have a relationship with them because your body doesn't respond to that, or their hygiene is repulsive or you pity them for a disability or something.

The same goes for the latter, you might be jaded and see a gorgeous man/woman and just, skip them. Even if your hormones protest.

I'm all about a combination of both.

[AJ11]

I have found that I can find someone attractive because of the way they look but if I find that they have an ugly personality I go off them immediately and suddenly I find myself wondering how I thought they were cute in the first place.

 

That works the other way too, I can meet someone who seems ordinary but if they are funny kind clever and fun I can often suddenly see them as attractive, I notice physical things about them too that are cute and wonder why I didnt notice it before like the way they smile or how the way they walk is hot

 

I have realised that I have to respect someone and really like them as a person to find them hot for any more than a few minutes. An evil personality just turns me cold, its not a conscious decision it seems to be something natural for me.

[Calfie]

I go for another kind of beauty: emotional beauty. If you are in touch with your emotions you'll look beautiful.

[emkatrine]

I think you have to look for both :)

[Thomas_T]

I don't get attracted towards any one by their physical appearance only for making a friend, but for a girlfriend I look around for some physical beauties.

[KyokoHateshinai]

In this day and age, I think it's necessary to have both. I'm not saying you have to be a genius and a model but if you make an effort (k this sounds really harsh).

 

So basically, physical beauty is what catches your attention and intellectual beauty is what keeps it. I think a lot of people mistaken that people can only have one but what makes you special is having both. If you have a lot of intellectual beauty but don't pay any attention to your appearance, ppl can't see beyond your appearance. But if you do, just even a bit, it might make a world of difference. Similarly, if you're really pretty, but you aren't smart, try something new. Broaden your way of thinking. I think that makes a person much more attractive than they believe.

[internalxorgans]

You need both, enough said.

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[rinoa812]

I agree with most that their needs to be physical attraction. But I will never be attracted to anyone who isnt an intellectual match so maybe thats even more imprtant for me. I mean Im not the steriotypical beautiful woman myself . Chubby and not the type to fix my hair and wear makeup all the time. But I do have a personality. Im lucky though. My boyfriend loves me despite my physical flaws and thinks Im beautiful. I think the most important thing is someone whos compatible with you =)

[pheddy]

I think a significant other should at least take care of themselves. I actually think its more attractive for a girl to have a few flaws in their appearance, it makes them more accessible and hey no one is perfect. I've been with girls that all my friends thought were really attractive, and some that they didn't. As long as I found them attractive and liked their personality it doesn't really matter. It also helps if you are happy with your appearance and personality. If I think I'm attractive (which I am) so will everyone else. Could it use some improvement? Yeah, I could work out more. But am I happy? Absolutely. Same with my personality. If you like you, then others will too :)

[Pookies]

Like AJ11 said... and like the Ronald Dahl quote from the first page.

 

I think everyone, or a majority anyway, looks "normal" -- even celebrities. When people say "so-and-so celeb looks unbelievably hot", I dunno, I just find them normal looking haha. I like to play games with myself when I look at people. How would this person look with a mustache? With different hair color? Eye color? How did this person look when they were younger? Were they just as pretty or are they the "swan" type? What is androgynous about this person? Does their face have more masculine or feminine characteristics? How will this person look when they are older? Why does this person look angry? What would soften/harden their face? How would a percept of this person be if.... and so on.

 

I like to think that I give people an even playing ground. Of course, sometimes someone's beauty (or what I imagine to be beautiful) makes me stop or turn around. lol But usually, someone's actions or words may enhance or diminish their look to me. One of the girls from high school was pretty average looking. But every day I heard her speak, I would see more and more imperfections with her until one day she looked completely ugly to me (sorry to say :S). She was so judgmental and vocal about it, with no regrets. Her actions and words were ugly, which made her ugly on the outside as well.

 

On the other hand, there have been many others who I thought were average or above average looking, and whenever I heard them say something intelligent, they looked even better in my eyes....if that made sense lol

 

In short: Actions and intelligence are what enhance or diminish someones outward appearance for me.

 

Not to say that I never have days where I don't judge someone by their looks. when I met my (now ex) boyfriend, I never thought I would date him. one, he was immature, and two, he was a little bellow average looking. once i got to know him, I gave him a chance (about 1.5 years of him asking me out... haha). yeah, he wasn't a beauty, but I had other reasons why decided to date him.

[eloralestrange]

I'm going to sound like a real horrible person for saying this, but I wish I'd chosen a cuter guy for a relationship. His personality is amazing. But I get comments from people I know that tell me how ugly he is and that I could do better. They're annoying. I wish the comments would stop. 

If a guy is cute and kind, then if he isn't being nice at one point (in my case it's just when we disagree and I'm annoyed, not his fault), at least you have the other attribute.