Friendship issues.

[rachiee]

So my best friend stopped talking to me on Monday.

We were technically dating each other for one day, and on Monday they called me and they basically said they were falling out of love with me, but still wanted to remain friends.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way.

They stopped talking to me and started shutting me out not long after they called me, and I was crying for several hours straight. I still don't know why, because I didn't do anything to them other than apologize and ask for a second chance countless times.

That day, I lost the only friend I could tell everything to, the only friend I felt like myself around, the only friend that I felt truly cared about me, and the friend that would stay by my side come hell or high water.

 

 

I even got to the point where I took eleven aspirin in an attempt to kill myself. I know I shouldn't have done something so drastic like that over such a minor issue like that, but I was feeling desperate, low, and awful.

And honestly, I feel like I could never tell them that.

 

 

I saw them earlier today during study hall and looked in their direction several times, but they didn't see me. I started breathing heavily and shaking a little bit, all because I was nervous that they would see me and get mad at me.

Later on, I saw them in the hallway. They said hi to one friend that was walking with me, but not to me. I felt confused and offended. It pained me to think that just a couple days ago we were inseparable, and now they wanted me out of their life.

I just really need a hug or something. I've just been feeling horrible all this week. ;n;

 

tl;dr: My ex-best-friend is freezing me out even though I didn't do anything or say anything to anger, upset or hurt them.

[lilshadowdweller]

Perhaps it was asking for the "second chance"? It sounds a little pushy to them and they explained they were "fallen out of love". Unfortunately, in those circumstances, as painful as it maybe, you can't do anything about it. Would you want to be in a relationship which lacks love? It happens. It stinks. It's not anyone's fault. Some people get bored. Some aren't mature enough.

 

The other thing is, TRYING to be friends after a relationship can be tricky and difficult. Perhaps they can't handle that sort of thing well. I'd advise you to give it a little bit of time, then perhaps, talk about it and how you miss simply the friendship. You don't mean to push anything romantic, you just want them as a friend and had time to think it all over.

 

But I think giving both of you your space and time is needed.

 

I know it seems harsh that they ignored you, it's hurtful. Perhaps when you feel a bit more stable you can discuss it maturely.

 

*Online hugs* You're not alone. Lots of people go through this harsh pain.,and you're strong for handling it and seeking advice!

 

Please also, don't attempt harming yourself. I care. Others care. And trust me, the pain is unbearable right now but it'll pass. It may take some time, and if it doesn't, you may need to seek some professional assistance. (Don't ever be afraid to! I have! And it's helped!)

 

In the meantime, I think you should distract yourself as often as possible and be around your friends and family so you can remember what's really important in your life, especially if this person continues with ignoring you. You are valuable and needed. You don't deserve to be hurt by small actions if that's the person's intention. (It may not be.)

[khaos]

Well, I'm not good in these sad moment sort of things, but I really want to help, so I'll say this.

 

Firstly: Don't harm yourself!! D: There are some people that care about you, your parents, here at TDN, some other people at your school, just remember that there is always someone that loves you. c:

 

Secondly, I think you should maybe call them or talk to them in private about why he/she blanked you out like that. From what I see it, you did nothing at all. Maybe they had held a grudge or suddenly remembered something, or someone maybe spread a bad lie about you to your friend. Either way, I don't think your best friend thought that it would hurt you that much. You also don't know that it could be hurting your friend as well.

 

To finish up, if everything turns out alright, them maybe you should join a summer camp or someplace where you can socialize and meet new people, just so you could have other friends to back you up in a time of need like this. c:

 

Just don't give up. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[Rebecca~]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. D: And as others have said, please don't kill yourself. I understand the urge- I used to be a cutter and I often wished that I was able to commit suicide, but I am so grateful now that I didn't. If you ever feel like you want to again, please, please tell someone. I know how hard it is, but things do get better. -hugs-

I'm sorry that your friend is having more issues with the breakup than they let on. I would give them a couple of days though, and then talk to them- maybe see if they have the same reaction to you tomorrow, and then talk to them privately over the weekend?

Remember to use "I" statements though (I feel like such a broken record, I'm always recommending these, but they do help!). Saying "When you do this, I feel this (hurt, sad, angry, etc)" tends to have a more positive reaction than "You were such a puppyblew when you did this".

 

Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through with this. I hope things work out for you in the end!

(if it helps, I can say that I've been in a situation similar before. A friend of mine, my best friend, told me that she was in love with me. I really didn't have any romantic feelings for her, but it took a while for me to say that- I kind of hoped that I would develop them, I guess. After that, things got kind of awkward. We still hung out, but there was something between us. After a couple of months she said that she no longer had any feelings for me, that she was mistaken, or something. We started having more fights, and when we did see each other - very infrequently - we were almost like strangers. But things got better. It took time, and a lot of work on both of our parts. We are still good friends, and our fights actually benefited me- when we were fighting I realised that I had basically no other friends. Everyone else I hung out with were mutal friends, and they were her friends first. This lead me to go meet new people, including my current girlfriend. :) So I do understand. I know how hard this is. I know what a strain failed relationships can put on a good friendship, and I know that it is so hard when the person you relied on suddenly isn't there anymore.

But it does get better. No matter how terrible things seem, they always get better.)

If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Please don't hesitate!

[el_blubo]

from experience of being on the other side, maybe he's getting a lot of from his friends over you. I tried to have a discrete relationship with a girl I really liked but then everyone found out and I got really nervous and didn't like being in the center of attention/ ridiculed so I just stopped talking to her completely and denied everything... worst decision I made all that year, still regret it... listen dont get all upset about it, like me don't deserve it. You know how that girl is doing today, she's dating one of my good friends and she looks happier than i've ever seen her... you'll find the right person some day

 

 

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[delphinebar]

I can promise you that things get better. I had a very similar thing happen to me when I was in high school. I started dating my best friend, I think senior year? I loved him very very much, and I know that he loved me. But when I went away to college, he cheated on me. As someone said upthread, sometimes people aren't mature enough or aren't ready to have such a serious relationship. In any event, I was devastated but determined to make things work. He dumped me, which in retrospect was absolutely the right thing to do in the circumstances. At the time I was devastated. I felt exactly as you do, I'd hear a song or see something funny and my first instinct would be to call him and tell him about it, but I couldn't do that anymore.. it really did mess me up emotionally for years, but while it took me a very very long time to fully get over him, I did. Like I said, I was in college- I made friends, went to parties, kissed different boys (sometimes a different one each night haha) and even had a couple relationships over the years. You never forget your first love- I haven't forgotten mine. But the power to be happy is in your hands. Take the time to cry, pick yourself up, and move on to the next good thing in your life. If you can't see anything good right now, make something good. Its a wide world ;)

[Ashbash]

Breakups are definitely hard and I'm sure losing a best friend has to make it even worse. Maybe your friend will come around in time. Please don't do anything drastic though. These things happen and while it is hard, good things will happen too. It might not seem like it now but things will be better.