Naamah D. Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 My mom and I have a toxic relationship. While I would be on Neopets in a time like this, I feel guilty for playing. All of my bad memories of my ex-therapist are coming back. How she trash talked about my pets and my disability. My mom told me that if she could go back she would've put me somewhere so she could raise my younger brother. I was doing fine this morning. I have a constant obsession with weight and food. I was trying to sort things out with my mom and she got mad. My mom is nowhere near abusive, but I'm sick and tired of her crap. I know she probably feels the same way about me. I feel so guilty! I feel guilty because I'm not an American Sweetheart of a daughter. I have problems and am nowhere near what I feel I should be for the sake of my mom. I wish I could move out but I have nowhere to go! I wish I had a boyfriend and I could move in with him so assisted living wouldn't even cross my mind. I wouldn't lose my pets that help keep me stable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moni_rawr Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 Never feel guilty for something that you love doing (unless it's illegal). Believe it or not, your mom loves you, she just has a weird way of showing it. She may just be really stressed out and is not realizing that she's taking it out on you, or she may not know how to necessarily cope with having a child with a disability because everyone wants the best for their children, and when they're faced with their child having a disability they can sometimes take out their anger on their loved ones, including themselves. Me being the black sheep of the family, I can tell you that molding yourself into what you think she wants is not the answer. You are you, and you should celebrate that rather than beat yourself up for it. When your mom says awful things like how she wish she would have put you somewhere so she could have raised your little brother...don't give her the reaction she wants. While hearing something like that may hurt to the high heavens, reply back with something positive and take charge of the situation. Try to find activities that you and your mom can do together, to remind her that you are still her daughter and that your disability does not define who you are. And if things still are rocky (and you are of age), maybe look into ways you can move out. If you're in the United States, some states help people with disabilities live on their own. That would give you the space you need to grow and be happy, and your mom will hopefully finally realize how lucky she is to have you. Never forget that you are an amazing person and your disability shows how strong you are. People think of disabilities as a person having a handicap in life; while that may be true, you may have to take that extra step compared to other people, which shows how much stronger and more willpower you have than most. hrtbrk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca~ Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I understand. :( I have a pretty toxic relationship with both of my parents as well, despite neither of them being actually abusive (though, my father's drinking took it pretty close :/). I know it's easier to say than to actually internalize, but never feel like you should change who you are for someone else, family or not. I found that moving in with my girlfriend was the best thing I could do for myself, and for my relationship with my parents. Now that I don't have to see them daily (or hell, even weekly!), I can talk with them about things and they don't treat me like a child that has no right to have opinions. I know there are many things that are in the way of you moving out, but looking into assisted living, and disability insurance may help. Since I'm Canadian, I'm afraid I don't know what assistance is actually there for you, or what additional expenses you may have because of medication, etc. :( I really hope that you can get out of what is definitely an unhealthy place for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naamah D. Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 Everything is fine. My mom and I worked things out. I will stay at home :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca~ Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Well, that's good! I am glad that you were able to work everything out. :) Hopefully everything stays positive for you now. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.