I don't know what to do with him.

[Jae]

I don't know what to do! I've been interested in this guy for a couple of months now, and I love him. :* Oh my God, I can't believe I'm telling you all this but I need a place to vent and a place where I can be understood... or atleast make an attempt to be understood. First off, please know that this might be slighty lengthy and possibly boring so it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you were to press the back button and find a more interesting topic. I'm young, I'm still learning, but more importantly I'm confused and hurting.

 

Fact one: He's an older guy. Not /old/ old though, so stop making that face!

Fact two: I love him. Yes, I'm going to repeat that incase you missed it the first time!

Fact three: I'm still in high school.

Fact four: He's a bit insecure, in my point of view.

 

Okay, when we first started talking I literally thought about him all the time, and I still do. He was always in my mind during school, work, play, just all the time. I'm an exceptionally vulnerable person and a sweetheart, which is a huge fault of mine because my stepmother once told me that my problem is that I love people too much. <3

Skipping over a bunch of small nothings, I fell for this guy hard and fast because I'm hugely attracted to his personality. It doesn't hurt that he's cute either. :laughingsmiley:

A small incident happened where he saw me riding in this guy's car. BUT WAIT! Let me explain. My friend called me and asked if I would like to go to a football game with her, and I accepted though I'm not a party animal. She doesn't personally have a car, so she bums rides from her friends and they came to pick me up. When they got to my house, there were two girls in the backseat, and a guy driving.

I'm a very shy person, so needless to say I was a little reluctant to get into the passenger seat (which was empty). I climbed in, we went, and I came home. On the way home, I saw my "friend" (YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT!) outside talking to one of my other friends and they saw me in the car so I waved. I didn't get home til late so I went to sleep, and didn't get to see him for the next day or two. Finally I saw him outside talking to his neighbor and I walked over there to them. Everything seemed okay, until I tried to braid his goatee (... yes, he has a goatee) and he was like "No, I don't want you braiding it." I was completely flustered, but my friend hinted that he was peeved that I had been in a car with a guy, so I was like "But why? You're hurting my feelings." He laughed in my face.

 

Now, I may be little Miss Sweetcakes, but I can only take so much disrespect. I calmly said goodbye to his neighbor and proceeded to walk home when his neighbor said not to because me and my "friend" had something to talk about.

He ("friend") yelled at me, and even said that I hadn't even asked him if I could go out, which made me extremely mad because it's like he wants to be in control. He's always out with his friends, and even though I try to trust him, I know that temptation's all around. Still, I never ask him where he's going or who he's going with, blah blah blah.

 

Somehow we made up, and I walked home.

Over the next few weeks everything is going fine in a sense, but it's not all there.

 

Let me bring you to October 31st 2007. My boss has offered to take me with my little sisters to take them trick or treating, a generous offer. I got some candy too. :woot:

 

We're riding back home and guess who I should see but my "friend" kissing some girl. My vision is bad, so I couldn't see clearly and I asked my little sisters what they had seen and they confirmed it.

 

My heart split into two. :sad01_anim:

 

 

I stopped talking to him completely. Never confronted him, never asked about anything. I saw him a few times and everytime I did I could feel my heart beat rapidly, and it would hurt. Literally hurt so bad to the point that I just wanted to run away and hide, then cry until it stopped hurting. However, I did not speak to him or outwardly acknowledge his presence.

 

Until the night before last. (Feel free to slap your palm onto your forehead and call me crazy.)

 

 

I'm going to skip some of the story and bring you to me and him sitting in the backseat of his friend's car, who had offered to take me to the store with them. He told me to sit closer to him, and I did. -_-

 

PAUSE! I forgot to mention that I have this pathetic condition in which I always smile. You rarely ever see me NOT smiling.

 

ANYWHO, he asked if I was mad at him and I said yes. Then he asked me to whisper why, which I didn't because of two

factors. One: I was smiling, and two: I'm a horrible whisperer. Finally it came out, and he said that was his ex-girlfriend. He said that she had been going through a hard time and that she was suicidal, her son was sick, excuses excuses.

 

I didn't believe him, but I can't really judge him because we all make mistakes. I've made quite a few myself!

He put his arm around me and said that if I was uncomfortable that he would move it. I WAS MAD, BUT I COULDN'T STOP MY HORRIBLY STUPID MOUTH FROM SMILING SO I TURNED AND STARED OUT THE WINDOW.

Finally, after I had stopped speaking to him for a couple of minutes he turned and started singing along with the radio. I couldn't just sit there so I.. kind of.. kissed him. He asked me if I missed him, so of course I lied and said no. He said he'd missed me anyway.

 

Back at point A, having made up and me floating on false clouds..

 

But now I sit here, and I wonder.. what am I doing? Could it ever work? Do I really love him, or is it.. is it something else? Maybe I'm just fascinated by him.

 

I can't compromise all of my priorities and my expectations of having someone fully committed to me. I won't. I want to do something with my life, I can't let anyone hold me back. I have plans, people! I have never done drugs or had alcohol, I just want to keep my life on the right track.

 

The worst feeling is that he doesn't like me as much as I like him, but he's the type of guy who tries to act tough and unaffectionate for the most part.. I can't even tell if he really thinks about me all the time as he said he does.

What do you think? Is he worth the fight or the emotions, or is it just wishful thinking?

 

 

[Shiuze]

Well, he seems to be really interested in you so give him another chance ^^ I always believe in second chances and yes - you are truely in love with him the way your heart beats for him. Believe me, I've had lots of experience so if you need anymore help - Just ask me :3

[Jae]

Well, he seems to be really interested in you so give him another chance ^^ I always believe in second chances and yes - you are truely in love with him the way your heart beats for him. Believe me, I've had lots of experience so if you need anymore help - Just ask me :3

 

=) I'm honestly surprised that someone thinks that, I expected various "YOU'RE A MORON!" statements...

[Shiuze]

No no. I completely understand you because I was in a situation like that before. >_<

[Jae]

No no. I completely understand you because I was in a situation like that before. >_<

 

I've never felt that way about anyone before.. I mean my heart was hurting.

- hears Alicia Keys song -

 

SHUT THAT OFF!

 

UPDATE.

I've been doing some thinking, and I've decided that I should end this little thing with my "friend".

 

This post has been edited by a member of staff (TJ) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Double post; posts merged.

Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

[xXMoonlightXx]

well jealousy can go in a billions of ways it just a kiss after all but I don't know anything like Shuize said give him another chance =D I mean hey were still young right??

[Shiuze]

I've never felt that way about anyone before.. I mean my heart was hurting.

- hears Alicia Keys song -

 

SHUT THAT OFF!

 

UPDATE.

I've been doing some thinking, and I've decided that I should end this little thing with my "friend".

 

This post has been edited by a member of staff (TJ) because of a violation of the forum rules.

Double post; posts merged.

Please check your user inbox to see if you have been contacted regarding this incident, then review our rules.

Yeah and since your heart was hurting that means you truely love him >_<. Oh? Why?? o_O

[Jae]

Because it's clouding my thoughts.

 

Well I guess, but I feel as if he takes advantage of me. I give him food. XD

[xXMoonlightXx]

Well it not too late confess it too him before dah girl will be all over him like a fly in a very tasty manure just say you love him and if he make a weird face just say " you know I'm kidding right?" that what I do XD but that part I really meant for fun like kidding XD

[Shiuze]

Because it's clouding my thoughts.

 

Well I guess, but I feel as if he takes advantage of me. I give him food. XD

Yeah...Just try one last time and if it doesn't work out then you break it off @_@;