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Posted

Granted, No one else ever speaks Spanish again. You become branded as that person who talks funny.

 

I wish for the right plumbing parts for the refrigerator ice maker to work.

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Posted

Granted, but the rest of the refrigerator's components break down.

 

I wish I was more fluent with xconfig.

Posted

Granted, you only become 0.000000000000000000001% more fluent, then you die.

 

I wish for a monkey, so I can make it throw fecal matter at people besides me ;b

Posted

Granted, but you are arrested for illegal animal trafficking shortly afterwards.

 

I wish hard drives didn't die.

Posted

Granted. Now you feel like @$%@%&^&%$@#$@^$%&%^!@#%$#&^$^*^$^!&^#$&@$%@%&^&%$@#$@^$%&%^!@#%$#&^$^*^$^!&^#$& all the time.

 

I wish I had less work.

Posted

Granted, now you have 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds of work and never make any money.

 

I wish Hershey Park tickets cost less.

Posted

Granted. It eats you.

 

I wish for a DDR2 compatible system bus.

Posted

Granted, but the RAM is DDR3 and isn't compatible with your system.

 

I wish for somebody to help me with my work.

Posted

Granted, but he does better than you and eventually replaces you.

 

I wish I could be extremely physically fit (like Olympian fit) without exercising.

Posted

Granted, but you become incredibly stupid at the same time.

 

I wish I was more skilled at reading stacktraces to spot troublesome modules.

Posted

Granted. You are now able to trace stacks of assorted items (if they have moved) and once you reah them can determine if their contents are spontaneously forming a doomsday bot.

 

I wish I could fly.

Posted

Granted. You are turned into a fly and can't get changed back.

 

I wish for uber programming skills.

Posted

Granted, but then you are fed something that tastes like stomach fluid

 

I wish that I didn't have to do summer reading...ARGH!!!!!! :grrr: (psh my mom (<.<;;;;;;;;;; ) wants me to read age appropriate books ARGH! >O )

Posted

Granted, but you have to pay an additional $20 (USD) for your heating oil.

 

I wish that I didn't like the song "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus... (I admit to liking that song ;x )

Posted

Granted. You instead aquire a taste in the sound of bulls defacating in your bedroom. You irresistably enjoy that.

 

I wish November would get here already!

Posted

Granted, gas now smell like water, but water smells like gas :P

 

I wish I was the first person to get the Bonju avatar.

Posted

Granted, but you get eaten by a bear.

 

(...wtf, I know.)

 

I wish you never granted my wish.

(Ha! Work your way around that paradox, genius!)

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