HALLPPPPP. ugh guy troubles via hopeless romantic

[Psmucker3]

Hi guys! I recently posted about feeling a little down lately and considering a therapist. I literally just found out I landed the internship I have been wanting for awhile so things are beginning to look up! However, I still have some unresolved issues. One, I go to school in a fairly big city for fashion design. Design is what I have always wanted to do as long as I can remember, however I have recently begun to question my passion. I think I am just in a rut.

 

SECOND….I think most of my confusion is due to guy issues I have been having. Ugh, it seems I can never find the right guy. Not that I am looking for any kind of serious relationship….I dated a guy for two years and broke up with him over the summer…it was definitely for the best. I do not miss him at all, in fact he rarely crosses my mind. I talked to another guy I met through work over the summer. He was much older than me…I promise I am NOT that creepy…I thought he was a lot younger than he actually was. Anyways, nothing really evolved from it besides a casual coffee date. I was super into him and it turned into almost an obsession lol. Something about his maturity…ok he was 30 I don't want you guys thinking I'm getting with a grandpa! In other words…something about the challenge of getting him to notice me was exciting and I never really felt that way before.

 

Recently, over my long winter break, I reconnected with an old friend, who also happened to be my ex boyfriend's best friend. I had always had a secret crush on this guy, although he is a notorious player. We always kind of had unspoken chemistry. Please don't be quick to judge…I know it's kind of unfortunate that he is best friend's with my ex. I usually try to steer clear of that kind of drama, but I am somewhat of a hopeless romantic and once I fall for a guy it is extremely hard for me to move on. We ended up hanging out over break a few times but he left for a month to go to Spain. We kept in somewhat touch while he was away and last week I saw him for the first time in a month. Before he left for his trip, my ex found out about us talking and obviously stopped being friends with him. My guy was clearly upset about this and felt torn between me and his best friend. Eventually, he told me he has feelings for me and wishes we could be together without any drama. He told me the sweetest things before he left for Spain. Now that we recently reconnected, our feelings were up in the air and we never talked about where we stand now. Idk if its a good or bad thing, but I have definitely started to fall for him. I don't want to just give up on what we have right now. Because he is known for being a player, I know it's probably not the best idea to get into anything too serious rn. But I really want to know how he is feeling and if he feels the same as he did before he left. I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG NOVEL. I just really want some good advice on this. Thank you guys so much for whoever takes the time to read this.

[astro]

Okay first of all I want to say congrats on the internship! Second, you need to make sure you only take on what you can handle. Personal health is always above the romantic life in my eyes. If you feel that you're okay with this person and that they are prepared to commit to this relationship then I say go for it. You're both adults and are capable of being happy regardless of what has happened in the past. Since you and your ex aren't together, there shouldn't be an actual reason he should object to either you and guy 2 being together. The best start to things is to focus on yourself and you job while maintaining a friendship and staying in contact with this person.

 

It's always best to truly get to know someone before jumping into anything. If this person really wants to be with you, then they will reciprocate the same effort that you put in. Either way I hope that you end up super happy because you sound like a really swell individual!

[Psmucker3]

Okay first of all I want to say congrats on the internship! Second, you need to make sure you only take on what you can handle. Personal health is always above the romantic life in my eyes. If you feel that you're okay with this person and that they are prepared to commit to this relationship then I say go for it. You're both adults and are capable of being happy regardless of what has happened in the past. Since you and your ex aren't together, there shouldn't be an actual reason he should object to either you and guy 2 being together. The best start to things is to focus on yourself and you job while maintaining a friendship and staying in contact with this person.

 

It's always best to truly get to know someone before jumping into anything. If this person really wants to be with you, then they will reciprocate the same effort that you put in. Either way I hope that you end up super happy because you sound like a really swell individual!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read that rant. I appreciate your advice and will take into consideration! We go to school about four hours away from each other and he would like to come visit me. I really hope it works out (:

[nomekopokemon]

I personally think you should steer clear from this kid, especially since he is known to be a player. You're gonna get hurt, your ex is already hurt, and this guy will move on. I also find it really strange that he's willing to give up his best friend for some girl he really doesn't know. I don't know him, but from your description he sounds like a narcissist.

 

I'd definitely just keep working towards your own personal dreams. Focus on your internship (congrats, by the way!) and good things will find their way to you. :)

[Psmucker3]

I personally think you should steer clear from this kid, especially since he is known to be a player. You're gonna get hurt, your ex is already hurt, and this guy will move on. I also find it really strange that he's willing to give up his best friend for some girl he really doesn't know. I don't know him, but from your description he sounds like a narcissist.

 

I'd definitely just keep working towards your own personal dreams. Focus on your internship (congrats, by the way!) and good things will find their way to you. :)

 

Thanks for the thoughtful advice. I totally understand where you're coming from and I will take into consideration. I am not the type of person to suppress feelings, so it will be hard to make the right decision in this situation.

[nomekopokemon]

 

Thanks for the thoughtful advice. I totally understand where you're coming from and I will take into consideration. I am not the type of person to suppress feelings, so it will be hard to make the right decision in this situation.

 

I'm the same way, haha. However, I don't mess around with people who won't be able to commit if commitment is what I want. I've dealt with a lot of people who sound like this guy and there isn't anything you can do for a wandering heart.

[Kute]

I wasted 2 years on someone who was considered " a player" he was just very friendly and had a charming smile and dimples. Had a lot of friends that were girls. But i learned and knew the real him- when it came down to it he was just to afraid of commitment. I know he liked me a lot though- he did things I thought only happened in movies. in the end it wasnt meant to be. not because he was a "player" but because - i just let things play out. and realized it wasnt meant to be. I am a very very impatient person- i hate waiting for things to "happen". especially with guys. but i think you should just let fate play out how it may. FOr better or for worse. Don't try to control things, just let it be natural. If it works it works- if it doesnt it doesnt. good luck::)