Door Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I had one best friend for more than five years. In the past year and a half, I've developed crippling anxiety to the point where I can't leave the house anymore. She became my rock, the one person I trusted - I depended way too much on her and we both knew it. Anyway, about eight months ago she basically kicked me out of her life with no explanation, and to put it shortly, it's emotionally destroyed me for a long time now, but I'm finally starting to move on. Anyway, I peeked at her blog the other day out of curiosity (baaad idea) and found dozens of posts about "her/ex best friend" and how much she misses her etc etc. I also found out she's been doing drugs. Hard drugs. Two questions here... if she comes crawling back to me, should I let her in again or just say, no, you lost your chance? And 2, should I speak to her mother about the drugs - it's DANGEROUS stuff she's doing - or just say it's not my problem? I'm not sure how she'll respond to me talking to her personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashbash Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It's definitely a hard situation. I don't think anyone can answer the first question for you. No one knows her like you do and no one knows the situation as well as you do. That's completely your decision. AS for the second question, if she's in danger, I personally would tell her mom. It's all up to you though but I'd rather have someone mad at me for the rest of my life than have something bad happen to them and know that I could've tried to prevent it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakeru_Kyori Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Well I would demand an explanation as to why she ditched you and if a good enough reason accept her back but let her know she's hurt you, has broken your trust, and has to prove herself to you before things are close to the way they were again. If you really mean "hard" drugs than yes I would tell her mother even if it causes more problems, though of course it might work if you talk to her first and tell her if she doesn't straighten up you'll tell her mom. I mean "the green plant" (don't know if I can say it here) isn't really a major problem to me but each to their own opinion. Anything more than that I believe is a huge issue and needs to be dealt with even if it sucks to have to open that can of worms with your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moni_rawr Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I'm sorry that happened to you, I know how hard it is to lose a friend. The choice is up to you if you want to allow her back in your life. Maybe talk to her about what happened and how you felt so she knows that she really hurt you when she stopped talking to you. As for the drug thing...in my honest opinion, talk to her about it first. Then it's all about a judgement call. Some people end up diving more into drugs when their loved ones find out and try to help them stop, but others finally have the reality check that they need and stop. Age is also a factor of course, because if she's under the age of 18, then I would tell her parents because than they could put her in rehab. But if she's an adult, the only way for her to go into rehab would be to check herself in, or if she happened to do something illegal and end up in jail where they will give her the help she needs to kick the drugs. I had a friend who was doing drugs, and when her parents found out, they forced her into rehab (she was under 18). She ended up relapsing, and it was just a constant circle of her going to rehab and going back to her old lifestyle. She felt invincible and hated the fact that someone had told her parents about her drug use, so it pushed her more into it...although she would have times where she wanted to quit because she would hit rock bottom. She was only on drugs for a few years before she took her own life. I had cut off contact with her when I had moved because I couldn't handle the drama of her and the drugs, and also because I'm a recovering drug addict (5 years clean this year!). Less than a few weeks before she took her own life, she had ended up contacting me and things seemed to be finally going in the right direction, she was clean for a month and was starting to put her life back together. But she ended up having a bad day and went back to drugs and took too much. While with me, my parents never had stone cold facts of me doing drugs, although they had their suspicions. I did not openly tell them that I did drugs until I had been clean for a few months...I was thankful enough to have a reality check and finally saw what I was doing to myself and knew that if I continued, I wouldn't have reached my 21st birthday. And I know that if my parents had found out what I was doing, it would have pushed me farther away from them and into my own little drug-induced world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khaos Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 As for the first question, like the first person here said, no one can answer that for you. If you really do still truly miss her, then you should. For the second question, you should try to convince her to stop. If she refuses, you should tell her parents. However, this might risk a chance of her disliking you for stopping her drugs. I hope everything goes well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaito Dark Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Here's my opinion: A1. If she does come back to you, I'd say, accept her. I mean, she's been talking about how much she misses you and after all, she was the only one you could depend on the most! A2. Yes. I believe you need to tell her mom. But if you can find a better way to stop her, you should try that too(bust so far, i don't think we have any other ways). I'm sure everything will be alright. She is after all your best friend! Never give up hope. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarria33 Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 This is a very hard situation. I think you should decide for yourself if you want her back in your life. Maybe by regaining you as a friend, she might have some support and comfort for the hard time she is having. But, I guess you will just have to forgive her in your own heart before you do that. As for the drugs, I do believe in telling her parents but ask them not to tell her that you told her. That way your friend won't be hurt you went around her back to tell her parents. Best of Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornstar Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 For her own safety, I would tell an adult to help her out of the drug situation before it is too late. And similar to what everyone had said, it is up to you to decide whether you want to let her in or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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