Rose_682 Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 For those of you who have seen pictures of my 11-year-old, you know which kitty I am talking about. The one that I almost put down during the holidays. Well, he started doing really well, which made me really happy. Now I'm putting him down. Monday, at 4:20 pm, Misha will go to the vet for the last time. His quality of life just isn't there any more. He's having troubles breathing, in a way that is not his allergies. He's attacking Jasmine for being within 5 feet of him. Doesn't matter if she's just sitting there or not. He doesn't purr, and when he does, you really, really notice his breathing problems... Last night, he tried to purr, and he just kept sneezing... He's still eating and drinking, but that's not really an indicator of how happy he is. He won't let me pet him, or pick him up, and he actually attacked me for trying to cuddle with him today. He might have thought I was Jasmine, but still... He didn't really seem to care. Still stayed angry. I am at peace with the decision to put him down, because I know it is time. But I am also acutely aware of how painful Monday (and the week or so after it) is going to be. At the very least, I have Jasmine. And she is going to save me, frankly. Because she is still going to need me. She's going to miss him, too, though. Maybe not nearly so much as I will, because I knew him longer, but she played with him and cuddled with him until he showed that he no longer desired to have her anywhere near him, because he was not feeling well. People told me I would know when it was time. I didn't really believe them, but I do. It's time. Misha is just not enjoying life as much as he is in pain/suffering, and that was what tipped the scales. I have had a lot of time to think about it, and I know there is nothing else I can do for him. This time, though, I do not feel as though it is my fault. I don't feel as though I am killing him, but rather as though I am doing the right thing. I am stopping his suffering. It's never something I am going to want to do, but it's better this way, than letting him die a slow, painful death at home. I couldn't watch that, nor would I want it for him. The decision itself does not torment me. I made the appointment for Monday because I have a friend who will come over and stay with me for a while, and probably cheer me up a great deal. My mother, and Richard will be with me when I put him down. I also made it for Monday because then I am not drawing out the waiting time. The time in which I know Misha is going to die, and that this is best for him, but have the ability to torture myself with it if it starts to bother me. I do not want to have the time to change my mind. The decision I made is the one that is the best for him, and for Jasmine and me. It's going to be a tough week, maybe more, but I will make it through. Speaking of Jasmine, she just came and curled up under my blanket on my lap and started purring her little heart out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xepha Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I am really sad to read about this :( I'm not sure how I will react when my cats get old and sick... I hope Jasmine won't be too lost without Misha. I don't really know what else to say, but I'll think of you and your cat on monday. That's for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose_682 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 Thanks, Xepha. I'm sure Jasmine will be just fine, as the last week, she has not been able to play with him or cuddle with him at all, because he has been not feeling well at all, and so attacking her. >.< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornflakes Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Oh no :( I'm so sorry. Misha will be in kitty heaven. Nothing but endless catnip and toys with jingly bells. :) And thankfully he had a long, full, happy life with a terrific owner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livvy Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 *sends a hug and all the cat purrs she can find* Love on Misha before he goes. Love on Jasmine after. Whether you can tell or not, they understand. They may not understand exactly what's happening, but Misha understands that you love him, and that's all he needs. And Jasmine will understand that you're sad, and she'll do everything kittenly possible to make you happy again. So let her love you, and pour all your love into Misha while you can. Honestly, that's all he can ask. And if you need to chat, my MSN is still available. (You somehow disappeared from my contact list. =\ ) I'll be on tomorrow evening if you need someone to talk to. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose_682 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Oh no :( I'm so sorry. Misha will be in kitty heaven. Nothing but endless catnip and toys with jingly bells. :) And thankfully he had a long, full, happy life with a terrific owner. Thank you, darling. It's definitely time, though, even my mother says so, from what I have told her. It's only been the last week that he started showing signs of being unhappy, but in that time, he has declined rapidly. I want him to not suffer, so now it is, I suppose. He came to cuddle for about 5 minutes today. But he gets mad at me for moving him, petting him, sitting next to him, whatever if he doesn't come to me. *sends a hug and all the cat purrs she can find* Love on Misha before he goes. Love on Jasmine after. Whether you can tell or not, they understand. They may not understand exactly what's happening, but Misha understands that you love him, and that's all he needs. And Jasmine will understand that you're sad, and she'll do everything kittenly possible to make you happy again. So let her love you, and pour all your love into Misha while you can. Honestly, that's all he can ask. And if you need to chat, my MSN is still available. (You somehow disappeared from my contact list. =\ ) I'll be on tomorrow evening if you need someone to talk to. *hugs* Livvy, dear, I DO love him, but he's making it very hard to give him attention the last couple days. He attacked me today when I tried to give him a cuddle/hug. Might have thought I was Jasmine, but still refused to let me so much as touch him even after I tried to sooth him. He cuddled with me for all of 5 minutes today. It's tough. I want to give him love, and he won't let me. My mother says not to pressure him though, because it will make us both more miserable. I can only hope he understands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masaryk Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I am so sad to hear that Misha is declining so rapidly. It's such a terrible thing to watch happen. You really are making the right choice to end his suffering tomorrow. It would be much worse for all three of you to let his pain go on. I'm glad to hear you are at peace with your choice. It also puts my mind at ease to know that your family will be there to support you tomorrow. Have you decided if you will be with him when he passes on? I'm also happy to hear that you will have friends around to support you afterwards, in addition to Jasmine's love. My thoughts will certainly be with you and Misha tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livvy Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Livvy, dear, I DO love him, but he's making it very hard to give him attention the last couple days. He attacked me today when I tried to give him a cuddle/hug. Might have thought I was Jasmine, but still refused to let me so much as touch him even after I tried to sooth him. He cuddled with me for all of 5 minutes today. It's tough. I want to give him love, and he won't let me. My mother says not to pressure him though, because it will make us both more miserable. I can only hope he understands. I'm so sorry, dear. :( If he's rebelling against even your love, then he knows he doesn't want to be here anymore. You've loved him all his life, and now you're loving him by letting him go. I think he understands. He may not know what's going on now, but even a sick kitty doesn't forget 11 years of love. *hugs* I'll be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose_682 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 I am so sad to hear that Misha is declining so rapidly. It's such a terrible thing to watch happen. You really are making the right choice to end his suffering tomorrow. It would be much worse for all three of you to let his pain go on. I'm glad to hear you are at peace with your choice. It also puts my mind at ease to know that your family will be there to support you tomorrow. Have you decided if you will be with him when he passes on? I'm also happy to hear that you will have friends around to support you afterwards, in addition to Jasmine's love. My thoughts will certainly be with you and Misha tomorrow. I have not decided. I think it will come down to a last minute gauge of my emotional capacity as to whether or not I can stay with him, or if I have to be in the other room. Either way I will still have to take him home and bury him in the back yard. I wish I could afford to do otherwise.... But I can't. I'm so sorry, dear. :( If he's rebelling against even your love, then he knows he doesn't want to be here anymore. You've loved him all his life, and now you're loving him by letting him go. I think he understands. He may not know what's going on now, but even a sick kitty doesn't forget 11 years of love. *hugs* I'll be praying for you. Thank you both for your thoughts and support. I really appreciate it :) Tomorrow is it. The last day. Less than 24 hours from now, all I will have is memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose_682 Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 I am aware that this is a double post, but I just wanted to update those who cared. Misha went very quickly, and it was definitely time. I was with him, and so was my best friend, my mom, and my step-dad, Richard. We buried him under a tree in the back yard, and my landlords are going to put a big flat cement stone on his grave. One that I can paint, and that will keep any animals away from him. The vet said it was definitely the right thing to do. The cancer was in his lungs, as well, and it was causing them to fill with fluid. It was very hard to watch him die, but he went very peacefully, and he actually seemed happy before we put him down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livvy Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I'm so glad it went well. Be strong. Love Jasmine. We're all here for you if you need us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masaryk Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I feel good knowing that you feel like you made the right decision for Misha. It sounds like he was a very sick kitty when you took him to the vet. It is good that he is no longer suffering, though I know his passing must be hard for you. Jasmine is still there to love you, and we are still here to listen. And it sounds like you have wonderful landlords! You are very lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dcoolb Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I'm not a cat person myself but that is still sad, I had a dog that was scared of the wood floors and tile, and we had both and little carpeting. We tried everything to help him but it was making him sick, we in the end decided to give him to another family. We knew it was the right decision and it was better for the dog. So, don't kill yourself over this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nerd4lifee Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I read your story and it's very sad, I'm very sorry for your loss :( *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yoshinho Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Awww poor wittle Kitty. D: Hope you feel better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose_682 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Can someone close this? I don't want to see any more posts pertaining to Misha anymore. I thank everyone for their support and friendship, but seeing more posts on this thread just makes it hurt all over again. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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