*collapses*

[Viridian]

You may have noticed my decreased amount of time spent on here or on msn or any other website I use. This is because I have completely no time for anything these days. School takes up 36 hours a week, 40 if you include cycling to and from school. In 1.5 years I'll be done with school and I'll have to move on. As some of you might have guessed I want to move to Canada to start living with Tim (my boyfriend), and study there as well. There are several problems regarding this:

 

First would be my parents, who will not accept that I'm moving that far away. I haven't been able to talk to them face to face about it, since I am scared of their reaction. I want them to understand I don't want to spend my life in this country, and that I want to live the rest of my life with Tim. My mom keeps on talking about universities here in the netherlands that barely attract me, as if she doesn't know I don't want to stay here. It's just too hard to have a normal conversation with her since she is always playing her stupid game or talking to her online friends on skype.

 

Second of all would be money. The reason I have no time is because I spent all my spare time on my side jobs. 2 hours a week in the library, 2 hours a week of delivering flyers... And between 5 to 10 hours of work on delivering mail. This week has been one of the worst of my life, seeing I had to deliver at 570 addresses, which I still have not finished (and I should have it finished at Friday already). I think I might as well throw away the rest of the mail, since the mailmen are striking anyway, nobody would notice..... However I think my karma says no against that...

 

On top of those jobs I barely have time left to spend on school, while it gives me a bunch of homework. I've already failed this year once before and can't afford it to fail again, since school will kick me out if I do that, no matter how good a student I am. The time I have to spend on preparing preparations and solving equations for practical assignments is almost scary, and while my marks are good I fear I spend too little time on learning the stuff I'm not so good at.

 

So my issue right now is that I have no free time to spend on anything, I haven't worked on clay for a looong time and I really miss it. I also haven't been able to play a game for the longest time either (while my brothers do nothing but sit on their lazy back and play games the whole weekend). It's freezing outside and the mail is just taking too much of my spare time away.. However I need the money for my future, and the mail is the only job that actually gives me some decent money.

 

I really do not want to quit either my library job or my flyers job, since I enjoy both quite a bit and they don't take up too much time... But they just don't give me a red cent, basically. And the mail gives me a lot of money, but I find it a horrible job to do, especially in winter. I think my bike has suffered a lot from it as well: my front lamp isn't working, one of my tires has already been replaced and my brakes weren't working a while back either.

 

Should I quit my mail job? It would really draw me back financially... But perhaps it's an idea to borrow from my parents once the time is there (money for moving / studying). But then the problem arises of them not fully supporting that idea sad.gif Anyone care to help me out? I'm really so tired of everything.

[Xepha]

It seems like way too many things are going on in your life at once :(

 

General advise is that one should not spend more than 15hrs a week on job while being a full time student. You need time for your studies and also time to to things that you enjoy doing or else... well a lot of things can happen (like burnout, depression) and that wouldn't be good for your health. So you could give up on jobs (one or two of them) and take it a bit easier for now. I'd say that summer might be a better time to earn money, since you could probably get a full time position or part time position, but with the insurance that you are the person who will have more hours when your co-workers are taking their holidays.

 

If your mother really insists for you to apply in a local university, pick one that has exchange student program with the city where Tim lives :P So that way, you could still earn your credits while being here. I think that exchanges for 1 or 2 terms become possible when you enter your second year. So in a way, it would delay things for you, and you would also have more time to bank money. I believe it's also easier to become a citizen if you have done part of your studies here (but you will have to double check).

[Viridian]

If your mother really insists for you to apply in a local university, pick one that has exchange student program with the city where Tim lives :P So that way, you could still earn your credits while being here. I think that exchanges for 1 or 2 terms become possible when you enter your second year. So in a way, it would delay things for you, and you would also have more time to bank money. I believe it's also easier to become a citizen if you have done part of your studies here (but you will have to double check).

I really would not want that. I really dislike living in this country, and I really want to get away from here... She just doesn't understand that though, since I have family and other reasons to stay here. They are just not important enough for me to stop wanting to live here. Living here gives me the feeling of fear every day (for personal reasons), and I don't want to live with that for another 4-6 years.

[Rae]

Since you are an adult, the decision to move away from your country and "settle down", for lack of a better term, with your boyfriend is YOUR decision. Your parents might not love the idea, but they love you and after some time I'm sure they will begin to support your decision as well. I'm from upstate NY and I just moved 1400 miles away to Florida. I don't know anyone in the entire southern region of the United States, yet alone in Florida. I go to school 12 hours a day, have my own apartment, bought my car, and I work hard. My parents hated the decision from the beginning, but after MONTHS of convincing they finally realized that it was what I really wanted, and it would really help me out. I know 1400 miles is nothing compared to The Netherlands and Canada, but I think you might be surprised at how your parents handle it. And I'm sorry that in the meantime it's so stressful :/

 

As for the job, I've always had the mindset that no money in the world was worth a job that I hated. I even quit Target after 2 years of working there because I was constantly abused by customers, injured on the job, treated like crap, etc. etc. etc. I could go on forever. However the pay there was incredible, and whenever I went somewhere else to look for a job it was dramatically decreased and I couldn't get myself to accept the other jobs. Why do almost the same thing, for less money? I don't admit it often lol, but I was wrong. Mail isn't your career, but if you need the money, and want your parents to see that you are independent and serious about going to Canada, then my advice is to keep the mail job. I know it's hard, and it's not fun, but if 6 months from now you can't afford to move to Canada because the amount of money equals one extra paycheck you might have gotten from doing the mail, wouldn't that kill you inside? And maybe if you have a serious conversation with your parents and they see how serious you are and how hard you're working, maybe after some time they'll decide to help you financially, in which case you could quit the job at that part..

 

I was going to say something else but I forgot. Good luck with everything, and if you ever need to rant to someone I'm here. I don't even know you're real name, but sometimes a stranger's shoulder is the best shoulder. Or something like that ;)

[Cornflakes]

Take a semester off of school, make a little money, then move to Canada. Your parents have their opinion but it's your life, not theirs.

 

Wait, are you over 18? If not, disregard the previous.

[Viridian]

Take a semester off of school, make a little money, then move to Canada. Your parents have their opinion but it's your life, not theirs.

 

Wait, are you over 18? If not, disregard the previous.

No I'm not. I'm 17, almost 18 though. I can't just take a semester off school, since I'm still in senior high.

 

Thank you Rae for your kindness. My name is Iris by the way. I'm not yet an adult ;) I think I'll stay working as a mail deliverer, but it is just so very hard in wintertime..

[Alberto of Meridell]

Since you really need the money, keep the mail job, but quit your other two jobs since they don't pay enough.

If there's a strike right now, shouldn't that mean that the mail isn't getting delivered? So just finish delivering the mail you currently have and then wait for the strike to end - it'll be a sort of a "break".

 

Also, can you request to deliver to a smaller number of addresses? Tell whoever is in charge of your job about your situation and maybe they'll be sympathetic.

 

 

I would do as the others suggested: Approach your parents (preferably after you're 18 and have graduated) and tell them that you want to move to Canada. Since you're an adult, it's your decision. However, they can also kick you out of the house if you're 18, so make sure you have enough money to move to Canada/do whatever you'd like.

[Wembly]

Since you really need the money, keep the mail job, but quit your other two jobs since they don't pay enough.

 

However, they can also kick you out of the house if you're 18, so make sure you have enough money to move to Canada/do whatever you'd like.

 

True story! I agree whole heartedly with these. If you are very serious about going to school in Canada I would highly suggest keeping the mail job so you can bank the money you need to physically make that happen.

 

And as far as applying to universities, if your parents still don't really understand, you could always apply to both the one near you and some in Canada so that you can delay the inevitable fighting until you determine where you got in and such. And then when you get into the Canadian one you can show them and be like bam! look how awesome this place is!

[Divya Bean]

I say keep the mail job and quit the other two. Splurge a bit (just a bit! ;) ) and buy yourself a good bike to do the mailing effectively and easily. Yes it will be uncomfortable during the winter, but you can do it! Keep making money until you graduate (yay! :graduated: ) and then hopefully you will have enough to move to Canada, because you will 18 by then (right?). Because your mother insists, I think enrolling in a Canadian University near where you and Tim will live would be a great idea. I am so sorry that you are so overloaded! I hope everything turns out well for you. ^_^

[CAV of Gang Green]

This is a rather difficult position. I would agree with the others, and keep the mail job and quit the other 2. If it isn't giving you enough money, it isn't worth your time.

 

If you want to move to Canada or not is purely your decision. Personally, I would stay in Holland because I've always wanted to visit my nationality's country. But this isn't about me. This is a decision that nobody can decide for you.

 

And don't fear your parents' reactions. Once you are 18, you have the right to move away from your family, regardless of how far it is. And they can't stop you.

[Viridian]

I'll be 19 once I graduate highschool, so yes I'd be able to move by then. My bike is already great, Divya (it costed quite a lot as well). The problem is that it dislikes winter, just like I do. :P The thing is I hate the mail job and I love my other two jobs. The library job I have will be over in May anyway, since they can't afford to pay me after I turn 18.

[Yozora]

I'll be 19 once I graduate highschool, so yes I'd be able to move by then. My bike is already great, Divya (it costed quite a lot as well). The problem is that it dislikes winter, just like I do. :P The thing is I hate the mail job and I love my other two jobs. The library job I have will be over in May anyway, since they can't afford to pay me after I turn 18.

 

To avoid running yourself ragged, I recommend you lose at least one of those low-paying jobs. You need to make time for school as well as a profitable job. Number one priority should be school, then money if you want to have funds for Canada. It's a sacrifice of some happiness for a dream/desire. Since you are going to lose the library job anyway, it would probably be better to lose THAT one.

 

If you really like your side jobs that much, then ask them to cut down your hours/workload. Ideally, to keep those jobs, you'd probably want walk-in hours. That way you could do your homework first then when you have time you can just jump in. In a perfect world though...

[Rae]

No I'm not. I'm 17, almost 18 though. I can't just take a semester off school, since I'm still in senior high.

 

Thank you Rae for your kindness. My name is Iris by the way. I'm not yet an adult ;) I think I'll stay working as a mail deliverer, but it is just so very hard in wintertime..

 

In France they are considered an adult earlier, I assumed it was the same in Netherlands. But no problem at all. If you are still just in high school though, then the job most certainly is not worth it. You need to focus on school, and you can worry about money later.