Ali Cat Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Editors are always .... fun xDD lol I really wish I could read it aloud to show you how I'm thinking it's read, and what the changes I suggested would make it sound like. But edit it to your wishes ;3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livvy Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Oh, I completely hadn't noticed the comma in red! ("Commma"? Goodness, I can't type today.) I should probably change that too, because you're right, it would be good there. And I'll see how it looks with a semi-colon. =] I wish there was a way to read it aloud online. Some of the rhythm-type things would make a lot more sense. ~ Livvy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unstream Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Haha yeah, it was just a little comma. I like the poem a lot, and the only bad thing about the Internet is that you can't express expression or rhythm. Sounds good, though, when I read it aloud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livvy Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Thanks. =] I actually haven't tried reading it aloud yet. My voice kind of kills my own poems (it just doesn't do poems well; I don't know why), so I tend to just let other people read them if they want. *shrug* ~ Livvy P.S. Just so y'all know, I am grinning ear to ear right now. :graduated: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I wish there was a way to read it aloud online. Some of the rhythm-type things would make a lot more sense. This site does the trick. :P You can even pick between a male and female voice for English. xD It sounds a bit weird unless you add commas at the end of every line though. The only edit I can suggest is adding extra punctuation to the last line: So tell me, who rules in this lopsided world? Pathetic, I know. (: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livvy Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 I thought about making it a question, but it's more of a request than a question. (If that makes sense.) Not really asking, but requesting to be told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Ah, that makes sense. xD *has no poetic taste* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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