Stuck in Between (Poem)

[Ali Cat]

Editors are always .... fun xDD lol

I really wish I could read it aloud to show you how I'm thinking it's read, and what the changes I suggested would make it sound like.

But edit it to your wishes ;3

[livvy]

Oh, I completely hadn't noticed the comma in red! ("Commma"? Goodness, I can't type today.) I should probably change that too, because you're right, it would be good there. And I'll see how it looks with a semi-colon. =]

 

I wish there was a way to read it aloud online. Some of the rhythm-type things would make a lot more sense.

 

~ Livvy

[Unstream]

Haha yeah, it was just a little comma.

 

I like the poem a lot, and the only bad thing about the Internet is that you can't express expression or rhythm.

 

Sounds good, though, when I read it aloud.

[livvy]

Thanks. =] I actually haven't tried reading it aloud yet. My voice kind of kills my own poems (it just doesn't do poems well; I don't know why), so I tend to just let other people read them if they want. *shrug*

 

~ Livvy

 

P.S. Just so y'all know, I am grinning ear to ear right now. :graduated:

[antiaircraft]

I wish there was a way to read it aloud online. Some of the rhythm-type things would make a lot more sense.

This site does the trick. :P You can even pick between a male and female voice for English. xD It sounds a bit weird unless you add commas at the end of every line though.

 

The only edit I can suggest is adding extra punctuation to the last line:

So tell me, who rules in this lopsided world?

Pathetic, I know. (:

[livvy]

I thought about making it a question, but it's more of a request than a question. (If that makes sense.) Not really asking, but requesting to be told.

[antiaircraft]

Ah, that makes sense. xD *has no poetic taste*