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If life gives you lemons


Viper

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...cover it with oil and then burn it.

 

If life gives you a kitty...

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...punch life in the face.

 

If life beats you up...

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...Find a pond, jump in it, and then throw pond muck at them.

 

If life gives you fried chicken...

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...mmm, fried chicken (starts drooling excessively).

 

If life gives you Girl Scout Cookies...

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...use up the free minutes.

 

If life gives you a diploma...

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do one of the two:

a)rip it up into a million pieces!

b)put it in a frame and put it in a case to show off

 

If life gives you a U-HAUL van...

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Run over all the hummers you can.

 

If life gives you a shot...

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Bully them for their money.

 

If life give you an alien...

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Swat life with a fly swatter.

 

If life gives you a flute...

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...eat it before the snakes get it.

 

If life gives you aspirin...

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...throw it out.

 

If life gives you rain...

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...find out how many days to your birthday it is.

 

If life gives you a volcano...

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...sleep with it.

 

If life gives you a plane ticket to thailand...

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