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If life gives you lemons


Viper

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...become a lunchlady so that the name will fit.

 

If life gives you a gender-confused dog...

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...feed it to your cat.

 

If life gives you an obese man in a string bikini...

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... give him back to seaworld before they sharpen their pitchforks anymore than they have already.

 

If life gives a hot boy band...

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...take it to school for show and tell!

 

If life gives you the head of a shark, the body of a kitten, the legs of a guinea pig, and the internal organs of a whale...

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...throw them at President Bush.

 

If life gives you a beating from Secret Service agents...

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...swim. Swim for your life.

 

If life gives you 3rd degree burns over 90% of your body...

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