antiaircraft Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 A short story I wrote for my recent English exam: I'm running. Running like I've never run before. Running because there's more than me depending on this. It's not exactly a good place to run either. The air is so hot, it's almost glowing - the heat singes my clothes and my skin. Dizzying white-hot bursts of light follow me. They are explosions; one right where I was a millisecond ago, and another where I would have been if I hadn't swerved to the right. They don't matter, the heat doesn't matter, not even the gaping four-meter-wide volcanic chasm that I've just leaped across matters now. Because I may be running, but time's running faster. My mind, for once, is perfectly focused, totally clear. I can ignore the jets of boiling water as the vibrations set off geysers around me, I can ignore the jagged black rocks that would rip me to shreds if I tripped, I can even ignore the attack aircraft that are bombarding the ground centimeters away from me with explosives that could kill me with a single glancing blow, that in fact would have killed me. If I wasn't running. The ground is smoother now, but there are more obstacles to dodge. Aircraft on standby, idling tanks, even armoured cars trying to hit me with sprays of bullets from their guns. Insignificant. The aircraft have pulled off now. It would be too expensive to damage something here. Better to leave the job - and the blame - to the ground troops. As focused as I am, I almost laugh. There is a door ahead, made from toughened glass, virtually impenetrable. It's still open. Even as I reach it, it's halfway shut and closing, but it's slow, way too slow. Two men are running as well, but in slow motion compared to me, they won't reach me in time to tackle me. Still running, but down metal hallways now, my boots clanking on the polished floors. There are people all around me, dressed mostly in black, guns drawn and firing. I dodge easily, and speed past them, knocking away the ones in front. Suddenly, a door ahead, a solid metal barrier sliding shut as fast as I'm running towards it. No time to think, no time to stop, no time to even check how much time I have left. I duck low, and feel the shockwave as the door slams down behind me. The shooters are getting better, and the bullets are edging closer now, but that isn't a problem. My mind is set on one thing and one thing only. I reach the last room, and there it is: my target. A wall of guards stands between it and me, firing rapidly with deadly precision. Pointless. Jump, over the guards, and draw my weapon. An unusual sensation in my head. Ignore it. Aim, carefully, steady my hand, and pull the trigger. If that shot misses, there'll be a lot of trouble. But it won't miss. I'm sure of it. I land, hard, and roll to a halt of the ground. I've done it. I can finally stop running. The only thing I have left to worry about is a fatal bullet wound. Comments please! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shattered_Ribbon Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Suhweet, that's really great. I liked how it ends. Bet you'll get a 100+ on it. =D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted September 26, 2007 Author Share Posted September 26, 2007 *Looks up paper* Actually I got a total of 23/25 on this, 11/12 for content and 12/13 for writing style. *Is annoyed at dropping 4% in my overall English mark* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smumpkins Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 It's certainly interesting. I can see where you got knocked down a couple of points, but it's fairly good for a school assignment. The tanks and troops shooting at you, and missing? The aircraft fleeing? First off, if you're attempting an assassination, they would've stopped you. *shrugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted September 26, 2007 Author Share Posted September 26, 2007 Yeah, that is kinda weird, but I think it had something to do with me rewatching the Black Cat anime series. I honestly have no real idea about the storyline details, it was pretty much just random. I might - incorporate - it into something sometime. Might. By the way, this is a new style of writing that I'm trying out, so I'm trying to see if other people like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crusher Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Not bad... At all. I would have given it 11/12 for content, but I think 13/13 would have been more appropriate for the writing style. Well done indeed. Crusher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antiaircraft Posted September 27, 2007 Author Share Posted September 27, 2007 Well we have an extremely strict English teacher (she's on a par with our headmaster *shudders*) so that's explainable somewhat. If my style is good I'd better go and try writing something else like this. *wanders off to ponder* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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