Breaking: You Have Nice Shoes

[Midtime]

 

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to The Daily Neopets' Altador Cup coverage! Brooke's back, baby, and limiting herself to one caffeinated beverage a day. For the safety of herself and others, and largely at the request of her superiors. Before we get on with the penultimate Alabriss bracket, I'd like to take a moment to thank my incredible fellow reporters for their continued patience, enthusiasm, and their shoes.

 

And now the moment you've all been waiting for. The Alabriss bracket results are in! The Lost Desert and Meridell took to the field for the second time this year. The Mummies didn't fare quite as well as they did the last time they came up against the Knights; this time the Knights managed to take two events rather than just the one. The Mummies took both Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger. Going into the final match, the Lost Desert is sitting just shy of the podium, and Meridell is tied for seventh. It's the moment of truth!

 

Next up on the roster was a match between Zombies and Minions. The Darigan Citadel was thrilled to snag a complete sweep after being swept themselves four times in a row. The Haunted Woods, however, have only been able to avoid being swept about a third of their matches this year. The Zombies are presently at the bottom of the standings; this is their last chance to save face. The Minions are currently holding the Maraquans off at ninth place.

 

In the last match of the bracket, the (very, very nearly) unbeatable Kikos took on the struggling Magmas and found themselves in a familiar position of sweeping victory. Kiko Lake just has to keep Kreludor off their backs for one more day, and they will claim the top of the podium for the first time in the history of the Cup. Moltara, however, will be endeavouring just to stay off the bottom.

 

And with that, I'll turn things over to Midtime for the Minitheus bracket. What's the haps, Midtime?

 

[Camera pans to Midtime.]

 

Er, they're for staff to catch naps with in between broadcasting sessions. You'll find them in the second supply closet, underneath the stack of Spyder egg trays (at least until some one reorganises in there). The Spyder egg trays are there mainly to discourage staff from catching naps too often, as I understand it.

 

Ah, I always seem to go off-topic at the beginning of these sections. On to the Minitheus results! Here they are.

 

Maraqua opened the bracket's matches with a repeat of their earlier sweep against the Ninjas. The match was an absolute delight to watch - the Mermaids really did seem to be in top form, giving absolutely everything they had to score these last, most valuable points. As the Ninjas can unfortunately testify, however, no amount of effort can really guarantee victory; and despite having done their best, they have no victory yet to show for it this round. We may not have the chance to see one of Shenkuu's famous turnabouts this season.

 

Team Tyrannia, of course, overwhelmed the Pirates with large margins in all events; the prowess that earned them third place has not faded. As the final round approaches its end, Tyrannia fans are becoming increasingly enthusiastic. Fans gather regularly outside the Colosseum in flocks of brown and orange, holding night-long revels beneath glowing tarpaulins that ripple with the vibrations of ancestral rock-and-roll. I have sought interviews with them, but as I approached one of these gatherings, I was intercepted by an innocuous-seeming Neopet, who offered - no, who menaced me, I know it - with a bag of onion rings.

 

[Midtime shudders.]

 

Gaining entrance will not be a simple task.

 

Now, in the most exciting match of the bracket, Team Virtupets just edged out the Natives on the pitch, scoring the goal that brought them to victory thanks only to a narrow dodge on the part of left forward Striker 3.8. This took place during the game's first fifteen minutes, making the remainder of the game a tense, hours-long battle for Virtupets' lead as the Natives slowly, painstakingly closed the score gap - too slow, alas, for them. (Attempts to reach Captain Volgoth for comments on his team's ultimately unsuccessful strategy met, unfortunately, with no success.) The audience gave Make Some Noise to the Robots as well, and the slushie contest settled at an even draw: with the Natives triumphant at least in the shootouts, the overall result of the match might well have been a draw as well, if not for that one fateful goal.

 

This concludes the Minitheus bracket. Here is Matt with our final batch of results!

 

[Camera pans to Matt.]

 

Thanks Midtime, I'm glad to see that everyone is physically present for today's report, but as for their mental state...well that's another question that needs to be addressed. Let's not worry for now, I've been told by my supervisor that the situation is under control, as for now, let's head straight into the results from the Vaeolus Bracket.

 

The underdogs had a rough time in today's matches as they were dominated by their opponents. Altador and Faerieland were crushed by podium contender Kreludor and mid tier team Brightvale in today's match, respectively. While the match between the Faeries and the Wizards was closer in terms of scores, the results were inevitably the same. However, there is a slight glimmer of hope for the Suns in today's match. If they continue to perform like they did so today, they'll have a good chance to pick up a few victories.

 

Rounding out the Vaeolus Bracket we had upper tier teams Roo Island and Terror Mountain go head to head with each other. Both teams certainly proved today why they're recognized for their side game performances. Although the match may seem one-sided on paper, looking closely at the results the Rooligans came close to drawing in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown, short only by a single point. They were able to force the draw in Slushie Slinger, while the Chillers took Yooyuball.

 

Moving on, tomorrow marks the final day of gameplay, and spectators will not be disappointed by the amount of action! First up, Altador and Brightvale will be going head to head in the final day. Altador made a magnificent push against the Faeries the other day, and if they're able to repeat that performance, they'll have a good chance to end the fifth round on a high note.

 

In our next match, Krawk Island and Virtupets will be battling it out on the Yooyuball field, which will likely be the decider in today's match. The Pirates are predicted to win Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise while the Robots have the advantage in Shootout Showdown. Which team will be able to win in Yooyuball to give them the overall victory?

 

A close matchup between upper tiered teams Kreludor and Terror Mountain will be occurring today. Although the Chillers are mainly known for their side game performances, the Moons have the advantage in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. The Chillers will need to focus and take Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger.

 

That wraps up our matches to watch! With only one final day of gameplay left, all teams will be looking to make their final push to solidify their position in the standings. Until then, this is Matt signing off.

 

 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).