Round Four Goes Out in Style

[Midtime]

[The lights are on in the studio, but no one appears to be around. The feed is silent apart from the buzz of fluorescent lighting somewhere overhead, and the ticking of a distant clock. After a while, an off-screen cameraperson is heard making a phone call, inquiring after the whereabouts of the reporters. They conclude their call, and silence falls once more. After another while, a door is heard opening and closing, and slow, shuffling footsteps approach.]

 

[Brooke enters the view of the camera in spotted pajamas and slippers, hair a mess, a bathrobe hanging precariously off one shoulder. In one hand she clutches an oversized coffee mug; tucked under her other arm is a file folder marked "RESULTS", which she drops onto the table unceremoniously. She flops down at her seat, pulls a pair of glasses from her pocket and dons them, shuffles around at her notes, then finally looks at the camera.]

 

I swear, the Altador Cup gets longer every year. This is Brooke, The Daily Neo, Alabriss bracket, let's get rolling.

 

[She peers down at her notes, then wipes her glasses with her sleeve.]

 

Naturally, they gave me the one bracket that wasn't completely sweeps. The Mummies-Chillers match was a sweep, though, so there's that. It went to the Chillers. At this point I'm sure I'm supposed to employ some sort of clever wordplay regarding the heat of the Lost Desert and the cold of Terror Mountain, but... you guys are smart, you can come up with one of your own. I have faith in you.

 

Moving on. Meridell took on Krawk Island, and it was a fairly well-split match. Insert here, if you will, some sort of joke about purple and orange. You know, the Split Paint Brush colour? Yeah. Anyway. The Knights won Yooyuball by a point, and Make Some Noise by a few more. The Pirates won Shootout Showdown by a point, and Slushie Slinger by one more. So that's fun.

 

And finally, Mystery Island went up against Faerieland, and the results were a little less balanced. The Natives took three of the four events by margins of two or more. The Faeries, however... floated? Over the heads of the... Natives? Or something? Anyway, they took Slushie Slinger. Good for them.

 

And that's my bracket done. Thank Fyora. Looks like I'm sending you guys to Midtime in the field now, and then Matt will be in to wrap things up. Later, viewers.

 

[Brooke shuffles off again, leaving the results folder behind for Matt. Just as she reaches the edge of view, she trips, sending her coffee cup flying. There is much shouting and grumbling and general despair from off-camera until the feed cuts to Midtime.]

 

[Midtime is in a large, busy indoors area, giving directions to a young Acara.]

 

"-quantities of flying Snorkles you will shortly thereafter see on your right, or if it is early morning and they happen to be roosting, the word 'gullible' will be chalked on the ground in close proximity to the entrance. Or so I'm told, although I'm afraid I have never been there myself. Oh - I'm terribly sorry; it looks like my segment is on. I'm sure those instructions are accurate, though - off you go, little one!"

 

[The child, wearing a distinctly sceptical expression, walks away.]

 

"Ahem. This is Midtime of TDN, reporting the Minitheus bracket results from the highly popular Suae Quisque Fortunae Food Court, located just some distance from the Colosseum itself. As you can see, surrounding me are fans of quite a few of the different teams, taking refreshments and mingling with fellow Yooyuball enthusiasts after a long and enjoyable day. I, of course, am here in purely professional interest. Food vendors are professionals.

 

"As you can see from the crowd behind me, spirits are still high among fans of the Haunted Woods, who have not stopped cheering since seeing their team make their tempestuous first win of the season. Few teams have had as rough a time as the Zombies so far, so to be able to end Round Four on as high a note as this is a rare treat for them, to be savoured as much as possible. On a related note, I can't hear myself speak in this din. Er, have I mentioned the results themselves? I don't believe I have - dear viewers, the Haunted Woods' victory over the Magmas was a sweep, one of many to be had today, but easily most remarkable among them. Congratulations to the Zombies!

 

"Team Virtupets took another pounding today at the hands of our champion competitors from Kreludor, who are less willing than ever to show laxness as their assays to overtake the Kikos become ever more urgent. Fans of the Robots are understandably disappointed, in view of the good fortune with which the round started. Of course, I did not exit the studio for no reason - let us go and get an interview with one of the fans."

 

Midtime: Hallo, there! I'm Midtime, reporter for TDN. Would I be correct in presuming you're a Virtupets supporter?

 

'You would be correct in presuming that.'

 

Midtime: In that case, may I have a moment of your time?

 

'Yes. Please accept the following: a moment of my time.'

 

Midtime: Ah, you're a natural robot 'pet, aren't you? Er - any way, how do you feel about your team's two consecutive losses? Has this -

 

'Weather balloon no. 887, viewed 06:54 NST, Blumaria. Blackcurrant Schooner Rentals, 38 Rue des Fripiers, Blumaria.'

 

Midtime: I see.

 

'These are memory associations; metaphors.'

 

Midtime: I am sure that, in different circumstances, I would understand precisely what you mean.

 

'Do you have any other requests?'

 

Midtime: Ah, yes. Moving on: what do you expect from your team in Round Five?

 

'A hat. I ordered it two days ago. It will have the team logo embroidered on the front.'

 

Midtime: Indeed! Well, that's that. Thank you for having this brief interview with us. I hope you enjoy the Cup!

 

"I think I handled that quite well, especially since, as previously stated, I could not hear a word of what was being said, and was only guessing at the responses. Excellent! Excellent.

 

"Now, the Suns were unfortunately unable to gather momentum from their victory against the Magmas; Team Tyrannia, holding true to their unfaltering season record, claimed all four wins of the match, leaving Altador in the dust. Despite their excellent performance, the Fossils have yet to make it into the top three. Perhaps in the final round they will find the handhold that will bear them to the top.

 

"That quite covers the Minitheus bracket. Matt has the scores from the Vaeolus, and I do not; so I will send you to him straight away."

 

[Before the feed switches, Midtime can be seen hurrying towards a large food stall.]

 

Thank you Midtime! We're back in the studio where I'll be reporting the results from the Vaeolus Bracket, kindly left behind by my co-host Brooke! If you're wondering where she is...well she's gone back home, probably to sleep on an uncomfortable recliner. She needs the sleep too, she looked crazy today, I mean didn't you see her hair and that bathrobe, and also...

 

[A cameraman coughs suddenly, and a faint "She's still here" can be heard. Matt can be seen turning red, slightly embarrassed, he takes out the results from the folder quickly and looks over them. Then looks back up at the camera.]

 

Disregard anything I have said within the last few minutes. Brooke, if you can hear me, you look fantastic like always! Anyways, moving on to the long-awaited results. There were a trifecta of sweeps today as three teams were able to end this fourth round with a dominant victory! Let's get right into the results.

 

The Wizards finished the fourth round on a high note today as they were able to easily sweep the Minions. Although the match was predicted to be a bit closer in terms of results, the Wizards clearly dominated the Minions. This marks the second straight sweep for the Wizards, both of which occurred after their spectacular upset in the match against the Kikos. It seems as if the only place left to go for the Wizards is up! Will they be able to continue this performance during the fifth round?

 

For the Kikos, today's matchup was just a normal day for them. Although the Mermaids were able to defeat the Minions the day before, the Kikos proved they're on a whole different level when compared to the Minions as they cleanly swept the Mermaids. "Poke" Cellers and his team's offense was too much for the Mermaids to handle as the score widened as the game went on. In the end, Elon, like many other teams the Kikos have faced previously, were just overwhelmed by the small but powerful Kikos.

 

Wrapping up the Vaeolus Bracket, Shenkuu and Roo Island went head to head, and the Ninjas were unable to prevent the Rooligans from sweeping them. Although the results were very close, the Ninjas weren't able to make a strong push in any of the games to prevent a complete sweep. Roo Island will most likely finish second in the bracket, just behind Kiko Lake. Will the Rooligans be able to finish in the upper tiers once again and prove that last year's performance was only a fluke?

 

The last round of the Altador Cup is fast approaching, and many teams will be looking to make their final pushes within the next week. But as for now, we have a bye day to enjoy. This is Matt, signing off.

 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).