Rooligans Rally in Round Three

[Midtime]

 

Hello, friends! Brooke's back, reporting for The Daily Neopets! I hope you are all feeling well-rested after the bye day, because here's where Yooyuing gets serious.

 

[The lights in the studio flicker, then go out.]

 

Uh... guys? I appreciate the dramatic effect, but... can we not? I can't see my notes.

 

[There is some scuffling from the darkness, then a light blossoms onscreen. Someone has affixed a head-lamp to Brooke's head.]

 

Ooookay, I guess I'll just try to avoid looking directly into the camera, then, shall I? It would appear, dear viewers, that the overhead light has burned out. And the part of the budget that was set aside for replacement bulbs was spent on... tin foil, apparently. So. Let's get started with Round Three!

 

The new Alabriss bracket kicked off with a sweep - surprise, surprise. Maraqua went up against top-tier team Tyrannia as the round started. The Fossils dominated the Mermaids in every event, getting things off to a rocky start for Elon Hughlis's confident players. This victory probably came as no surprise to anyone as Tyrannia managed to sweep the entire bracket last round. Looks like they stand a chance at the podium again this year!

 

Next up, Meridell took on the significantly creepier team from the Haunted Woods, in what proved to be a brutal near-sweep. The Knights have only achieved two sweeps this year, and today's results were tantalizingly close. The Zombies gathered their full strength in Shootout Showdown and forced a draw, snatching the sweep away from the Knights. This is only the second time the Haunted Woods have avoided a loss in that particular event.

 

For the last match of the bracket, the Faeries and the Rooligans clashed on the field of battle. Faerieland put all their efforts into Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger, making some impressive strides in both events. In the other two events, however, they fell quite short, and were annihilated by Roo Island.

 

Any word on those lights, guys? I'm starting to get a headache. I think this band is too tight.

 

No? Well, boo. I guess I'd better get on with it.

 

The Minitheus Bracket started out the third round with some very interesting matchups. The first match was between Virtupets and Kiko Lake. The Kikos have taken ACX by storm, earning a sweep every single day, and today was no different. They soundly swept the Robots, who've been swept half of the time this year. It would appear the Kikos are headed straight for the top, barring any unforeseen upsets!

 

The Pirates and the Wizards took the field next, and the Pirates found themselves narrowly escaping a complete sweep. Their valiant effort flinging Yooyus led them to a draw, and their highest score of the day. If Brightvale keeps up in this vein, they may be able to pull themselves out of the bottom four. Krawk Island, however, will be endeavouring to stay in the top half of the standings.

 

And finally, the Lost Desert achieved their ninth sweep this year against the Altador Suns, casting something of a dark cloud over the Suns' hopeful start. The Mummies are vying for a podium spot this year, and it's just within their grasp. Altador, on the other hand, is fighting to emerge from the bottom half.

 

Now Matt's got a day off, presumably for some sort of relaxing activity somewhere with working light fixtures. So I'll turn the rest of our report over to my dear friend Midtime. In the meantime, I'll be finding some candles or something. Midtime?

 

[The camera pans over to a patch of darkness, which reaches up and turns on the headlamp mounted awkwardly on its hat. It is Midtime.]

 

Certainly, Brooke. Oh - you'll find candles in the third supply closet, if I recall correctly, underneath the large pile of tin foil which I recently purchased, just in case I ever need an extra hat.

 

Now, here are the results for the Vaeolus Bracket.

 

The Natives have scored their third consecutive win in a row today - and this one a sweep: a refreshing surprise after the difficult season they've had so far. Their opponents, the Ninjas, have had even fewer chances to celebrate: despite having an excellent side-event record, their Round Two match against the Haunted Woods was one of only two victories they have won this season. It is a sorry start to the round for Shenkuu fans, who hope that the team may yet find a way to turn their situation around.

 

The Terror Mountain Chillers have been visibly improving in their performance throughout Round Two, and after taking a sweep from the indefatigable Fossils, who are currently in third-place, they were well pleased to give a markedly improved showing against the Moons this afternoon. Although the Moons won the Yooyuball game, the slushie service evaluation, and the match overall, the Chillers actually outdid them in penalty scores, and Terror Mountain fans made no small amount of noise on behalf of their team, taking that side event as well. Prytariel, captain of the Chillers, referred to the match as "though not quite a success, absolutely a lesson in it". The next time Terror Mountain faces one of the tournament favourites, perhaps a new powerhouse will come to light.

 

[The reporter pauses, expectantly.]

 

It appears that contextually appropriate puns do not always bring about miracles. The studio lights are still burnt out.

 

As for the last matchup - Team Moltara saw a break in their dismal season record with a distinct victory in the refreshments category. The remainder of the events went the way of Darigan Citadel - that is to say, up rather than down. Commentators say that although the overall result is no surprise given the Magmas' performance, the underlying scores were close enough that they could quite possibly have taken this one away. Meanwhile, Captain Layton Vickles of Darigan Citadel, responding to a brief interview, reported himself "more than optimistic" about his team's four-day win streak. "One or two hard matches wo'n't hold us back," he sniffed. "Let's not call us mid-tier until the finals."

 

Now, you may have realised that I have not imitated Vickles' famous S sounds. This is because we are currently sitting in the dark, and should someone happen to accidentally light the fuse on one of the sticks of dynamite we keep in the third supply closet, I should not want to mistake it for any other sound. It is not unheard of for members of staff, upon finding the door to the break room accidentally locked, to dynamite a tunnel through the floor and get access that way, just in case knocking would inconvenience any present occupant. Naturally, we also take care to fill up the hole afterwards: safety and respect for others come first for all of us here at TDN.

 

Who else here does this, by the way? Any one? No need to be- Oh. All right, then.

 

On to the matches to watch! The results of Shenkuu's engagement with Moltara may well be a deciding point in the future of the former, while allowing the latter another chance to prove their worth in a match against a team in their league. Maraqua, despite their middling record, may have a hard time against the Zombies, who according to analysts are matched evenly with them, and may leverage a victory over the Mermaids to lift themselves into a much more competitive position. My head-lamp is threatening to fall off my hat. That was not a matchup: technically speaking, it is probably going to be the opposite.

 

Thank you very much for your patronage, dear viewers. This has been Brooke and Midtime, reporting for TDN. Pax vobiscum, and have a good evening!

 

 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).